In order to live a complete and fulfilled life, it is essential to have strong and deep meaningful relationships with the people who bring us up and bring out the best in us. Millennials are in the constant grind of completing college and getting established in the workforce. It can be a rat race, and our lives can be stressful and lonely. To combat those low-level feelings, we need a team of people we can count on emotionally. Good relationships bounce us backup after we have fallen. It is up to us to nurture and foster a loving environment for our relationships to become deep and meaningful. Here are three ways you can improve your relationships today!
Spend Time With Loved Ones
Time flies by, so spend time with your friends. Make time to be with your friends and plan activities around relaxation, being in nature, and working out. Drinking is nice to do if it’s a special holiday or birthday, but alcohol tends to make things worse if you are working to improve relationships. Be present, be attentive, and stay focused. These are important relationships you need to work, to try your best to be completely present for each person who is special in your life. It’s important, and you need to be emotionally available to help your friends when they need you!
Be Honest About Your Life Experience
Too often, we keep secrets from others because we are afraid of what they will think. Take a moment to meditate on why you do this. Is it because you are afraid others will not like the real you? If so, why are you pretending to be someone else? Come as you are and welcome your authentic, non-ego self into the present. You will feel more comfortable in your skin. By being open and honest about your life experiences, you are being your authentic self. You are being, you! In truth, you will attract the right people if you are yourself, and if you are not being yourself then you will attract people who are not like you and may not ultimately approve of yourself. Be you, do your best, and know that you are a diamond!
Trust Your Friends
Until proven differently, work hard to trust people you care about. It can be hard to trust if you grew up in a household where you weren’t loved, or even had a lover or friend you trusted deeply break that trust. To live complete, begin to trust again. Being hurt is temporary, so learn to let go and focus on what is happening now. Do not worry if you are uncertain of the future, you have absolutely no control over the future, you only have control over the current moment. Holding on to the past or worrying about the future will only keep you from loving and enjoying the present moment. Learn to let go, learn to trust, and learn to love life and enjoy it to the fullest. You are worthy of love and trust, so start today to show your friends you love them by trusting them completely.
Start today by intentionally making an active effort to do your best to improve relationships by being attentive and being your true self. When you open up and trust life, life tends to be there for us. Make sure you do your best every day, show up on time, make things work, and be happy. Every day is a new day for a fresh start. If is your life, so take back control today!
Views expressed in this article are the author’s opinions and do not necessarily reflect the views of Secure Single. It is intended for informational and educational purposes only. It is not investment or financial advice. James Bollen is the author of Thriving Solo: How to Flourish and Live Your Perfect Life (Without A Soulmate). Now available in paperback and for the Kindle on Amazon. Subscribe to Secure Single’s Substack for free!
Thanksgiving is often thought to be a time to spend with family and if you are unable to spend it with family, then you spend it with friends and have a Friendsgiving. But why should that remain the case when the majority of the population is single and dining out alone is becoming normal? This Thanksgiving singles should not be afraid to dine out alone to celebrate the holiday if they will not be spending it with family or friends.
What Society Says You Must Do
The common narrative for Thanksgiving is that it must be spent with family, but if it is not spent with family then it must be with friends for a Friendsgiving. Those are both good options, but the other option is enjoying Thanksgiving alone. There is nothing wrong with being alone or spending time alone. It is actually healthy and OpenTable has seen an increase of reservations for one by solo diners. Why not check out a new restaurant and enjoy Thanksgiving by yourself? That is what I will be doing and the day has plenty to offer singles.
What Singles Can Actually Do for Thanksgiving
Singles have the opportunity to watch the Macy’s Thanksgiving Day Parade in the morning. The parade features large balloons of holiday features, live music, and crowds watching the parade in New York City. You can relax watching the parade with your favorite drink in hand and check out your friends’ posting pictures on social media. After watching the parade and seeing what your social media friends are up to, you can check out the Black Friday and Cyber Monday deals.
After you see if there is anything that you want on sale for Black Friday and Cyber Monday, get ready to go to the restaurant that you made the reservation at to celebrate Thanksgiving. There is nothing wrong with dining by yourself or to celebrate Thanksgiving alone as a single. Singles are increasingly making reservations for one on OpenTable and it is great to do something on holidays instead of staying in your apartment or house. Try a new restaurant this Thanksgiving and celebrate being single!
However, if you are not interested in exploring a new restaurant, then help out at a local food bank this Thanksgiving. Find a local food bank or church that is having a Thanksgiving meal for the homeless in your city and volunteer. Singles volunteer more than couples and it is good to help those who are less fortunate by giving your time to assist with a Thanksgiving meal at a food bank. Volunteering to help on Thanksgiving and at organizations that provide help to the homeless will give you a different view of the world that is both healthy and helpful for singles.
Depending on how you plan your day and who your football team is, enjoy watching the Thanksgiving game. You can watch the games online, on the sports, channel, or by going to a local sports bar that is playing the game. Sit back and watch football this Thanksgiving.
There are plenty of things for singles to do on Thanksgiving and ways for singles to enjoy the holiday alone. It is healthy to spend time alone. There is no reason for singles to be sad that they are not celebrating the holiday with family or was not invited to a Friendsgiving. This Thanksgiving be thankful for being single and that you are not in a bad relationship where you have to travel to your significant other’s family to have those awkward Thanksgiving dinner conversations.
Views expressed in this article are the author’s opinions and do not necessarily reflect the views of Secure Single. It is intended for informational and educational purposes only. It is not investment or financial advice. James Bollen is the author of Thriving Solo: How to Flourish and Live Your Perfect Life (Without A Soulmate). Now available in paperback and for the Kindle on Amazon. Subscribe to Secure Single’s Substack for free!
Whether you’re an introvert or not, everyone at one point or another have experienced moments of solitude to themselves. Understanding that spending time with yourself in moderate amounts is a form of relaxation and not a form of isolation.
In fact, spending time alone allows you to unwind and recharge your mental and physical batteries. In an article written in the New York Post, society views people who are successful as those who are masters at multi-tasking. When we book our calendars full of meetings, there is no time to relax. The constant stress resulting from lack of downtime can be an addiction a downward spiral in one’s mental and physical health.
Contrary to popular belief, there are a lot of psychological health benefits that result from spending time in solitude.
Surprising Benefits Of Spending Time Alone In Solitude
Slow Down And De-Stress
In a recent article on Oprah, Katrina Kenison states that solitude can cure what ails you. When we move in a fast paced world, all of the stress can build up and result in health impairments. Too much stress can harm our mental health, as well as our body’s well being. When we pause and turn off the noise, we can let ourselves relax. Relaxed people are generally at peace with themselves, and tend to be happier. In fact, studies find that happier people live longer. Life is too short anyhow, so why not lead a happier and less stressed life? Give it a go!
You Have Time Reflect and Redirect Your Life
This is all about reflecting on your life, your relationships, your career, and your health. Are you living the life you want to live? A great way to decompress is to write in a journal. The Huffington Post recently noted in an article that when you write you begin to feel mindfulness, while your stress and frustrations fade into the back. When you journal, you also have the opportunity to write down your goals, which significantly increases the likelihood of accomplishing your goals, in comparison with those who do not write down their goals.
Solitude Allows Time To Schedule and Builds Discipline
When you have to yourself, you can pull out your daily planner and coordinate time to work out, meet with friends, and also incorporate time to yourself. Perhaps you can plan a trip to the mall, schedule a massage, or even a visit to the hair salon for a new look.
Grooming is a great way to pamper yourself, and though you will be around people, you can still go solo. When you make the time each week to plan out your month ahead, you build self-discipline. According to Success Consciousness, self-discipline does not mean being harsh toward yourself or living a limited, restrictive lifestyle; it means that you have self-control, which is a sign of inner strength and control of yourself. Self-discipline gives you the power to stick to your decisions and follow them through, without changing your mind, and is one of the most important requirements for achieving goals.
Good self-control means keeping promises to friends, maintaining a budget, actually saving money, and not eating those cookies after 10 pm at night.
Taking a moment or two to yourself every week will allow you the time to reflect upon your life, de-stress your body, renew and pamper yourself, and get organized on where you want to spend your time. Take back control of your life, and get focused on what really matters. If you’re single, then all the more time you have to dedicate to improving your time as a single person, no matter what length of time you stay single. It’s time to get organized. Let us know your favorite way to decompress in the comments below.
Views expressed in this article are the author’s opinions and do not necessarily reflect the views of Secure Single. It is intended for informational and educational purposes only. It is not investment or financial advice. James Bollen is the author of Thriving Solo: How to Flourish and Live Your Perfect Life (Without A Soulmate). Now available in paperback and for the Kindle on Amazon. Subscribe to Secure Single’s Substack for free!
Being a host to someone who is staying with you can be stimulating and tiring. It is exciting to see a good friend and to be their host while they are in town. However, you are responsible for making sure that they have a good time in your city. You are responsible for making sure that they enjoy their stay. It can be difficult to host as a single, but here are five simple ways for how to host a guest.
Be Prepared
Start to clean up your apartment or house a few days before your guest arrives to your residence. Wash and dry any sheets and bedding that your guest will use. Once the sheets are cleaned, organize them and place them at a location that is easy to access once your guest is ready to go to bed. After the sheets are ready, wash any other clothes and towels that you may use while your visitor is with you. Vacuum and tidy up your living area. Clean your dishes, kitchen, and check your refrigerator for any old food that has expired or that you have finished that can be thrown out. After you have cleaned your kitchen, head to your bathroom. Organize all your toiletries that are on your counter. Spray your mirror with an all-purpose cleaner and then scrub your toilet and shower to make your bathroom spotless. Finally, make sure that all the areas that your guest will see are welcoming by having any furniture and accessories placed where they need to be in there proper living areas. You are now prepared for your guest.
Communication is Key
Communication is important in any relationship. In the context of a host, communicate with your guest to make sure they have everything they need. Let your guest know that they can ask you questions by text or phone, if you will not be with them through their whole visit. Know what they want to do during their visit. Do they want to chill? Do they want to see some of your favorite spots in your city? What do they want to do? Make sure you know what they want to accomplish while they are your guest. Communicate and have a plan.
Have a Plan
Some personalities do not like having a plan so you should know your guest. It is always a good idea for a host to have a plan prepared for a guest. Discuss with your guest before they visit what they want to see and do. Is this their first time visiting the city? Have they visited before? What types of things do they enjoy doing? You can have a list of all the main tourist attractions and locations prepared for you guest. This tourist list can also include transportation options for how they can get their if you are unable to be with them everywhere over their visit due to obligations or work. If they have visited before, direct them towards some of your favorites spots or find places that they would go to if they lived in the city. Take them to some of your favorite restaurants, bars, local events, and the popular neighborhoods in the area.
Coming Back from Day Trips
The 21st Century brought people the Internet and other technologies that have made life easier. However, as a host you will need to provide your guest your wireless network’s password so they can access the Internet. It would also be wise to change your wireless network settings to create a guest account for when you have visitors. This will separate your network, and connected admin data, from your guest making your network more secure. Also consider adding a MAC filtering and be sure to update the firmware on your router and ISP to have the latest version while you have a guest whose device and Internet could potentially harm your network and connected devices. Since people have a number of devices today, make sure that there is a charging strip in the living area or room where they will be staying to charge their devices.
After Your Guest Leaves
The day that your guest is leaving make sure to take them to the airport or provide them transportation options for the best ways to get to your city’s airport. Tell your guest what light rail, subway, or bus line will take them to the airport if you are unable to take them yourself. Another option is always to take a taxi, Uber, or Lyft if they are more pressed for time to get to the airport. Say your goodbyes, thank them for visiting, and tell them that you enjoyed their visit and that you hope that they will come visit again. After they have left, it is time to clean up all of your guest’s sheets and any other areas that need to be cleaned. Repeat step one as necessary.
There are you go. Five easy steps for how to host a guest when you are single and live alone. Apply these steps whenever you have guests and your visitors will want to return to see you and your city again.
Views expressed in this article are the author’s opinions and do not necessarily reflect the views of Secure Single. It is intended for informational and educational purposes only. It is not investment or financial advice. James Bollen is the author of Thriving Solo: How to Flourish and Live Your Perfect Life (Without A Soulmate). Now available in paperback and for the Kindle on Amazon. Subscribe to Secure Single’s Substack for free!
Men are not receiving enough physical touch in their lives. This has left men unsure of when physical touch is appropriate in a platonic friendship environment. For single men, physical touch is especially important because it has been found to include health benefits. There are many reasons why men are afraid to touch each other, especially in public. Single men should not be afraid to touch their friends or to bring it up as an appropriate way for men to show affection to one another when they are together.
The main reason is that society has sexualized physical to a touch to where it is now weird for two people –especially two men—to touch each other as friends. If it is not the problem of the sexualization of touch by popular culture, then it is that men are believed to be untrustworthy and only want sex. This is further perpetuated by the belief that men only want sex and have low animalistic desires. These three thoughts when combined make it nearly impossible for men to display physical signs of friendship in public or in private places among friends. However, this lack of physical touch for men leads to some widely unrecognized problems.
It has been found that a lack of touch creates insecurities in men, whether single or not, when someone touches them. This leads to emotional and physical isolation. It does not matter if the person is a man or a woman. Additionally, it makes men distrust themselves when they try to touch someone as an act of platonic love, called philia. It is not acceptable for men to touch each other in a philia sense. If men do it, society will automatically label it as an act of a suppressed sexual desire that needs to come out to the world. In contrast, it is culturally permissible for women to touch each other by holding hands and hugging each other without immediately labeling their sexual orientation. Why this societal disconnect and contradiction when it comes to men and physical touch? Why should it only be socially acceptable for women to receive the health benefits of being touched in a platonic manner?
It has been found that there are many health benefits that human touch provides and men should participate in physical touch without being judged. Research has found that platonic touch has a correlation to less violence, increased trust, compassion and sympathy, stronger immune system, better team dynamics, increased learning ability, and improves the well-being of an individual. It has also been found that touch increases oxytocin, drops cortisol, and triggers dopamine. The finding of this research is not surprising because people are by nature social animals and touch is a form of non-verbal communication. Touch can signify love. Touch can signify approval and confirmation. There are many health and cognitive reasons why touch is a healthy and more men should use friendship forms of touch.
There is no reason why men cannot touch each other as friends. Touch is important for single men to use to form bonds because it has health benefits and the social act can help to decrease loneliness, which has been found to cause death. All the single men, do not fear giving your male friends a hug or a pat on the back as a sign of affection.
Views expressed in this article are the author’s opinions and do not necessarily reflect the views of Secure Single. It is intended for informational and educational purposes only. It is not investment or financial advice. James Bollen is the author of Thriving Solo: How to Flourish and Live Your Perfect Life (Without A Soulmate). Now available in paperback and for the Kindle on Amazon. Subscribe to Secure Single’s Substack for free!
Loneliness is often confused with being alone; however, the former has been found to be a cause of death among higher isolated individuals. In the 21st Century with the advent of social media there is a misconception that the more “Friends” we have the better and healthier we are. The opposite is true. It is important to have up to five best friends who you can talk to about problems that you are having and you should see them regularly face to face. In light that people are becoming more isolated and experiencing loneliness, here are a few things you should know about loneliness so that you can fight it.
Loneliness Is Contagious
If you know someone who is lonely or if you are lonely, it has been found that people spread it to others who they are directly connected to according to a study that was published in the Journal of Personality and Social Psychology in 2009. This also works in reverse. If a person who is not lonely hangs around people who are lonely that same study found that the non-lonely person will become lonely. Loneliness is a prevalent social disease that is contagious.
Social Withdrawal
Individuals who begin to socially isolate them first start by withdrawing socially from interacting with people. These individuals often are unable to pick up on nonverbal social signals, which makes them socially incompetent that results in them not being able to activate positive social stimuli. After not being able to turn on positive social stimuli, miss nonverbal social cues, and slowly begin to withdraw from interacting from others is when social isolation begins. Individuals who withdraw from social interactions will be less trustful and display hostility towards others. Social withdrawal leads to social isolation.
Causes Hunger
Breakups are not the only life event that cause an individual to eat a lot of ice cream or insert your favorite food when you’re lonely and possibly depressed. Loneliness can last longer than getting over an ex and it is a common experience that individuals share in modern society. Interestingly though, women are more likely to become hungry and eat more when they are lonely. Loneliness activates a hormone that women have called Postprandial Ghrelin, which is also known as the hunger hormone. An individual can get over an ex and a breakup, but one can’t fight biology and the hunger hormone when one is lonely.
Probability of Death Rises By 26%
Loneliness can kill! A study that researchers at Brigham Young University conducted on loneliness found being lonely increases the risk of death by 26% to 32%. There was no difference between loneliness and social isolation according to the study. In short, if you subject yourself to loneliness or forced into social isolation by society you are have an increased mortality rate.
Views expressed in this article are the author’s opinions and do not necessarily reflect the views of Secure Single. It is intended for informational and educational purposes only. It is not investment or financial advice. James Bollen is the author of Thriving Solo: How to Flourish and Live Your Perfect Life (Without A Soulmate). Now available in paperback and for the Kindle on Amazon. Subscribe to Secure Single’s Substack for free!
Friendship is the state of forming a bond with another person to get to know them better and to enjoy spending time with them. The Greek word for the love between friends is philia. Friendship often neglected and placed behind sexual and romantic relationships. Despite the age of social media where people can have hundreds of friends, most people do not know how to be a good friend. Society also emphasizes that people should pursue sexual and romantic relationships; despite that once they end, the people in those relationships go there different ways because it did not last and lose contact with each other. Friendship, if done well, should last since the goal is to build and continually improve the human connection with another person who you want to know more by spending time with that person. Here are five steps to be a better friend.
1) Loyalty
Friendship is about making time to support your friends when they are going through a hard time or they just want to get together over coffee or drinks to talk. This also means that you are willing to hear your friends concerns and always be honest with your friends. This is especially true when disagreements arise between friends. Loyalty means that you make time for your friends out of your busy life to stay connected, or to reconnect with old friends.
2) Accept Your Friend Unconditionally
To unconditionally accept anyone is difficult. It requires that you accept your friends for their problems and all. This also means that you are willing to accept them when they expose their vulnerabilities and expose some of their hidden problems or secrets that you were not aware of until having a real conversation with your friend.
3) Stay Friends Regardless of Your Friend’s Choices
People can make their own choices and to decide how they want to live their life. Regardless if you agree with your friend’s choices, stick by your friend. This means that even when you disagree with the choices your friend is deciding to make, or made, that you will not leave them just because you don’t support their choice. It is easy to leave, bail on a friend, and to lose a friendship. It is hard to stay friends and to stand by your friend’s choices. Do the hard choice and stay friends regardless of your friend’s decisions.
4) Work to Improve Their Life
As a friend, you should genuinely want to help and want to improve your friend’s life. This requires that your friendship is a vehicle to benefit them in the different areas of their life. Listen to them. Talk to them. Help them as needed. Be there when they are having a difficult time in life. As a friend, you want to see their life improve and watch them become a better person.
5) Show Up
Take time out of your busy life and show up when your friend wants to do something. This reveals to your friend that you care enough about them by taking time out of your day to meet up with them. Showing up proves to your friend that you actually care and that you are a loyal friend.
Views expressed in this article are the author’s opinions and do not necessarily reflect the views of Secure Single. It is intended for informational and educational purposes only. It is not investment or financial advice. James Bollen is the author of Thriving Solo: How to Flourish and Live Your Perfect Life (Without A Soulmate). Now available in paperback and for the Kindle on Amazon. Subscribe to Secure Single’s Substack for free!
Single and Lonely? How To Deal
“If you make friends with yourself you will never be alone...” Maxwell Maltz
You’re single and proud of it. While all your friends are out there getting married, starting families, and pairing up, you’re left standing there alone as the free bird. It should feel great, but for some reason, you may feel very feel more alone than ever. One thing you need to know is that you’re not alone.Companionship is great, but only if you’ve taken the time to truly love and accept yourself first and foremost can you then fully share yourself with another person. Too often, people rush into a relationship for the sake of having one. If you’re a free bird and feeling lonely, the best thing you can do is to find the root cause. Take your time in building the relationship you have with yourself. When you become solid with how you feel about yourself, in a positive manner, then you will watch as outside relationships with other people start to grow and become deep and meaningful – with family, friends, and coworkers.
Love will come when you are ready, and if you are out there looking for love, you will only attract the wrong people. When you feel most lonely, follow these steps to lead a more fulfilling life as a single person. Just as you start loving and enjoying your life to the fullest, you may stumble upon the next love of your life.
Here are 4 things to do when you feel lonely:
Attend Meetups
If you live in a city, you will most likely have Meetup groups in the area. Meetups are a great way to break out of your isolation and loneliness. Find at one or two meetups you can attend in a week. Search for groups that are relative to your likes and interests. Being a part of a group with similar interests makes it easy to find a connection with at least two or three people. With common interests, you’re bound to make friends. This is a great cure for loneliness. Go out with a positive attitude that you will make friends wherever you go!
Volunteer
It may be the last thing on your mind when you feel lonely and are comfy at home in your pj’s, however, a recent study noted in the Harvard Women’s Health revealed that volunteering helps people who donate their time feel more socially connected, ultimately warding off depression and loneliness. Giving back to the community is a great way to boost your happiness levels, and can help you make great connections with other people. Working with others builds rapport, and strengthens relationships. You might make a handful of friends at your next volunteering event! Simply Google volunteer opportunities in your area, or ask a friend who volunteers to let them join you. You always have options.
Adopt A Pet
Having a pet at home can be a great source of companionship. Dogs and cats are among the most popular domesticated pets to own. Not only are they great company, but most pets will love you unconditionally. After a long day, coming home to a pet can help reduce stress levels, and lend a loving and non-judgmental ear to listen – even though they may not understand what you are saying. Getting your words out to a pet can reduce your stress levels, simply because you are letting everything out that you have kept bottled up. Pets also take a lot of dedication and are a huge responsibility. Having to take care of a pet will keep you busy at home, which means your mind will have a moment to rest from the daily activities, and sit back to make some food for your pet. Your mind will have a moment to relax and switch hears while you are taking your pet out for a walk.
Realize That Not Everyone Is In A Relationship
After scrolling through the 5th Facebook post in a row about another wedding engagement, know that not everyone is getting married. According to Huffington Post, the average age of people getting married is from 27 – 29 years old, (http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2013/11/14/married-young_n_4227924.html). If you’re in your 20-somethings, don’t feel pressured. You definitely have the rest of your life ahead of you, and if you’re not ready to commit to something, that’s completely okay. You should always go forward in relationships at a pace you are comfortable with.
There are many remedies to help yourself from feeling lonely. If you don’t have a special relationship with someone yet, then continue to love your life – though, make sure you love and enjoy your life. Read the above statements, and apply some into your life. Positive people are attractive, needy people are not. Take this time while you are single to become the most interesting person you can be! You are not alone, to take your friends with you. The only remedy to change a current situation is to take action. Live your life to the fullest as a Secure Single, and feel good about who you are. While you are living your life, you may just meet the person of your dreams.
Views expressed in this article are the author’s opinions and do not necessarily reflect the views of Secure Single. It is intended for informational and educational purposes only. It is not investment or financial advice. James Bollen is the author of Thriving Solo: How to Flourish and Live Your Perfect Life (Without A Soulmate). Now available in paperback and for the Kindle on Amazon. Subscribe to Secure Single’s Substack for free!
5 Ways To Celebrate Valentine’s Day Single
Valentine’s Day can be a painful “Singles Awareness Day” for the many who are not with a significant other. In fact, approximately 150 million Valentine’s Day cards are exchanged annually, making Valentine’s Day the second most popular card-sending holiday after Christmas.
It you’re single, understandably you might feel left out while you’re paired-up friends and family go out on date night to celebrate 15+ years of marriage, or their 7 year dating anniversary.
So how does a single person celebrate the famous international holiday in a non-traditional way, and walk away at the end of the day feeling a better and more confident person?
Here are 5 Ways To Celebrate Valentine’s Day as a Single Person:
- Treat Yourself
Take a moment to do something nice for yourself. While couples are out on dates spending a small fortune, take time to do something that is relaxing and pampering, or go purchase a gift you have desired. If you like having your nails done, head out to the local spa and do a mani-pedi, or get a facial. If you work out a lot, sign up for a massage. Take yourself shopping for a nice outfit you can wear on the town with your friends. Buy that video game set you’ve been eyeing. If you are feeling brave, order flowers to be sent to yourself at the office. You don’t have to say who they are from!
- Go out with your single friends. No one has to be alone on Valentine’s day. Just because it’s generally for people who are ‘in love’, doesn’t mean you can’t have fun with a good group of people. Take your single friends out to a karaoke bar, and sing your heart out. Nothing feels better than being out with good people who understand you. Being single gives you the opportunity to build great relationships with your friends. You have more time to do so when you are single – so give it a go!
- Remember that there is nothing wrong with you. Some people choose to be single, and some people have consequently become single. Take this moment to be proud of who you are, and remind yourself how beautiful of a person you are. Remember that you have talents to contribute to the world, and simply because you are single does not make you any less of a person. Build up your confidence, and feel good about yourself.
- Watch a romantic comedy on Netflix. Yes, this can make you more aware of your singleness, but it doesn’t have to. A funny romantic comedy can remind you about the positives of being single. At least you aren’t dating that lady next door with all the cats! Take a moment to laugh, and reflect on your life. Sometimes, being single can open up some of the best opportunities life has to offer. You have more freedom to pick up and start a new chapter anywhere you like, there are no strings. So sit back, and enjoy a laugh with a romantic comedy. There is no judging for Netflix and chill either – so have fun!
- Stay in and bake some goodies. Staying in every now and then can be a positive experience. Why not bake grandma’s secret chocolate cookie recipe? Studies show that cooking actually increases your happiness level, according to research reported by Psychology Today. If you’ve got the Valentine’s blues, bust out your cooking gear. In addition, your home will smell nice with freshly baked cookies.
This Valentine’s Day don’t feel left out if you’ve got no date. There are a lot of freedoms and positive aspects about being single. Celebrate this holiday in style, and be proud of your current relationship status. There is nothing better than being confident, especially when you are a Secure Single.
Views expressed in this article are the author’s opinions and do not necessarily reflect the views of Secure Single. It is intended for informational and educational purposes only. It is not investment or financial advice. James Bollen is the author of Thriving Solo: How to Flourish and Live Your Perfect Life (Without A Soulmate). Now available in paperback and for the Kindle on Amazon. Subscribe to Secure Single’s Substack for free!
Being in love is one of the happiest feelings in the world, but what do you do if you aren’t in love? Many people feel left out and extremely pressured, which can lead to living a stressful life. In a study done by The Bureau of Labor Statistics, over half of the U.S. is currently not married. There really is no reason to fret. Sometimes we just happen to not be in a relationship because we simply are not ready for it, or perhaps we want to avoid being hurt by another person emotionally.
The truth is that a lot of people rush to ‘be in love,’ and entirely miss opportunities that come later where they actually meet someone who is right for them. Relationships can be hurtful. Moreover, relationships can be toxic and demeaning if you’re not with the right person, and can overall lower your general happiness and well being.
Through, there are a lot of people in relationships that are happy. The point is that you don’t have to be in a relationship to be happy, the report discovered that some singles report the same levels of happiness as those in relationships:
“…relationships can be a source of hurt and conflict, which single people can avoid. The current research examined for whom being involved in a relationship versus being single enhances or undermines well-being by testing whether social goals moderated the link between relationship status and daily life satisfaction. In both studies, single people high in avoidance goals who strive to prevent relationship conflict and disagreements were just as happy as people involved in a relationship.”
Though, if you are still holding out, I understand. As we are all searching for someone meaningful in our lives — deep down, it’s a true human desire, to give love and be loved in return. That is truly amazing gift you can’t buy anywhere. To help keep sanity, it is important to remember, even if you have been chronically single, that this too shall pass. Being single is a time to reflect and discover yourself before things get too wild. It is part of the process in growing up.
According to an article in Forbes.com, single people volunteer more, have more friends, go out more in their neighborhoods, and even have the potential to go much further in their careers. Perks, right? The grass can only be green on your side of the fence if you just water the grass. Researcher Eric Klinenberg, American sociologist and a scholar, found that:
“Single people are generally more social than married people. Compared with their married counterparts, single people—even the older ones—are much more likely to spend time with friends and neighbors, volunteer, attend art classes, and do other social activities. A study conducted by Cornell sociologist Erin Cornwell found that from 2000 to 2008 those over the age of 35 who lived with a spouse or partner were less likely to spend an evening socializing with friends than those who didn’t. They are driving the social renaissance of modern urban life.”
If you are still convinced that being single is a bad thing, look at it this way — because single people tend to be more social, single people are more likely to go to town and spend money at the bars and restaurants. Even buying new outfit for a date is possible. The 2010 Consumer Expenditure survey found that the single person spent on average $34,471 annually on goods and services.
While you are still single, you can take all of the much needed alone time. You can reflect, meditate, and become prepared for the next day, week, and month with fewer distractions. Some call it, “restorative solitude,” which can make you a more engaged person Alone time can be productive: you can read a book, start a freelance company, and even ‘Netflix and Chill.’
Forbes Magazine estimates that there are 32 million Americans are now living alone, and that number is not only high in the United States, but also equally high in places like Europe and Japan. So you are not alone in this singleness. Not having a committed relationship can mean more time for you to spend with friends, develop your career, and meditate to have a more purposeful life. Be proud of your singleness!
Securely Single,
Danielle E. Brockman