It is no secret that men are dating less and that men are giving up on dating women. Single men are giving up on women and giving up trying to please their unrealistic expectations when it comes to dating. There are many reasons for this can include classic fights between the battle of the sexes. However, there are other reasons men have given up on women in the 21st Century and why dating is declining. These are fifteen reasons men are giving up on women and why men are deciding that it is preferable to stay single rather than deal with the hassle of dating and marrying women.


15 Reasons Why Single Men Are Giving Up On Women




Why Are Single Men Giving Up On Women?


Change Men


Single men are giving up on women because they are tired of women always trying to change men and making men into their pet project. Once men get into a relationship with men, after a while, the man they are dating becomes their project to change. Women tell men that the changes that they are making are for their benefit and will make them better people to everyone they encounter. Is that true? Possibly. Is that right for them to do? Probably not. Should men put up with it? Only if men see themselves putting up with this person for their lifetime and are willing to compromise who they are for the person. Otherwise, men should not put up with this, which is why men get tired of women.


Make Men Into Their Pet Project


Single men are giving up on women because they are tired of women making them into pet projects. They didn’t make these changes when they first met or began to date, but once their relationship becomes more serious women want to improve their man by making him their pet project. Men, single or not, should not put up with this and should be upfront that they will not put up with this or draw a compromise line. Bottom line: men are sick of being made into a pet project.


Do you prefer watching to reading?

Not Communicating What They Want


Single men have given up on women because they do not directly communicate what they want and expect men to know by correctly reading body language. Women most often blame men for not communicating enough. Men are tired of always receiving the blame while women get away blame-free.



Decided That Women Are Not Worth Their Time


Single men have given up on women because they have decided that women are not worth their time trying to develop any type of relationship. Women have continually ignored them. Women have not been willing to get to know a guy as a friend. Women have stopped communicating with men when even when men are nice. Men have tried their best to be friendly, nice, and sociable and yet women still act those ways by following the bandwagon fallacy that all men are animals who are not worth their time.


Related – What Is Men Going Their Own Way? 


Thought Of As Animals


Single men are giving up on women because they are sick of being thought of as animals. Women characterize men as being lowly animals who have human characteristics and are only necessary to put up with on a daily basis. This treatment implicitly makes women who think this way only view men as animals and damage their relationships with men. Men are tired of being thought of as animals and rightly should not put up with it.


Men Are Disappointing


Single men are giving up on women because they are tired of being thought of as a disappointment. If men are friends with women who believe this about men, they will likely not remain friends for long because it is detrimental to their friendship. These types of thoughts, values, and statements hurt men, yet it is perfectly acceptable for women to say things like this, while if men did something similar, they would be called sexist or misogynist. This is a double standard that is acceptable to society. For women that think this about men, men are tired of hearing these things and putting up with them. It is no surprise that men continue to leave women. Men are sick of it.


Giving up on women




Single men are giving up on women because they are tired of being thought of as man-children. Women think that men are merely grown children. It is true that men take longer to mature and for men’s brains to develop than women’s, but that is not why women call men this. This term assumes that men are immature and incapable of being adults and are still children. Men are tired of being portrayed as only grown children by the media and treated as such by women. If a man said something similar about women, they’d get called out on it. Are you starting to see a pattern and double standard here?


Giving up on women




Single men are giving up on women because they are tired of being thought of as a loser. Since they are a man-child, they must be a loser too because men must not have a great job or something else that is thought to make men a winner and a real man. Even if men may be smart and tech-savvy and have great jobs for today but lack social skills, so they fall into the “never had a girlfriend stigma’, women will still most likely call them losers. Men are tired of this thinking from women.


Giving up on women


Rescue Men


Single men are giving up on women because they are tired of women believing that they need to rescue men from themselves. Once single men start dating a woman and marry a woman, women think that it is their job to rescue their man from whatever they think is wrong with them. Women like to shape men into their own image. Men can only do their manly things in the “man cave” once they get into the relationship and partner stage. Single men are fed up with having women compartmentalize all men as needing to be rescued. Single men continue this trend of not dating women. You don’t need to be rescued and formed into someone who you are not by a woman.


All Men Are The Same


Single men are giving up on women because they are tired of women thinking that all men are the same. Men are only the same in that they share xx chromosomes; beyond that, men have different interests, goals, and views on life. In short, all men are not the same. There are nice men. There are bad men. There are successful men. There are men with traditional values, and there are men with progressive values. All men are not the same. This false box that women put men into is yet another reason men have given up on women and do not want to get into a relationship. It’s not their fault. Relationships are two-sided so women need to take a look in the mirror as well.


Giving up on women




Single Men are giving up on women because they are tired of being thought of and treated as trash. Men are thought of as trash. Enough said. Treat others how you would like to be treated.


Giving up on women



Tired of Being Told There Is Something Wrong With Them


Single men are giving up on women because they are tired of being told that there is something wrong with them because they are male.


Blamed For Relationships Ending


Single men are giving up on women because they are tired of always receiving the blame for when a relationship ends. Relationships are a two-way street. This is true of friendships to marriages, yet men often are the ones who are blamed for a relationship not being successful. Stop blaming others and take responsibility when it is the fault of one or both parties in a relationship.


Related – The Myth Of Toxic Masculinity In A Gynocentric Social Order


Their Fault If Women Are Not Happy


Single men are giving up on women because they are tired of it being their fault if women are not happy. If they cannot make women happy or are unhappy for some reason, men receive the blame even if they try to help. Most men don’t have the emotional dynamism that women want men to have that they think will make them be happy in a relationship. Men are sick of these unrealistic expectations and obligations that women believe men must fill in their lives.




Single men are giving up on women because they are tired of being thought of as the evil gender. This follows from the idea of men being animals, men-children, and trash. Women are thought of as the good and perfect gender while men always are portrayed as the evil and inferior gender. Again, thoughts lead to actions and how people treat others. Men are tired of being thought of this way and treated as such.


Giving up on women





Single men are giving up on women because they are tired of how women characterize, treat, and try to change men from the list above. All Men are not guilt-free, but not all women are guiltless either. It would be more beneficial if women tried to get along with men instead of attacking them. The same can be said to men about their relationships with women. Regardless, single men are learning to enjoy the single life, and single women are too. Stay civil singles with each other and learn to work with each other because the world would be really boring if it were only made up of men or women.


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Why are men giving up on women? Are there reasons legitimate? Let us know what you think in the comment section!



Disclaimer: Secure Single provides a forum for a diverse variety of perspectives, ideas, experiences, and resources and does not take official stances. All writers speak exclusively for themselves. Concurrently, any quotes, shares, reposts, interviews, etc., do not imply endorsement by Secure Single LLC or its curators. Secure Single does not give health, medical, relationship, travel, or financial advice. Secure Single’s content is intended to be used and must be used for informational purposes only. Writers’ opinions are their own and do not represent Secure Single. Now go live your best single life!
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James Bollen is the Founder and President of Secure Single. He is an entrepreneur and a content creator with the goal of helping all different types of singles to learn to thrive as a single person.
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  • david graham

    I gave up on women many years ago and haven’t dated since. They have always treated me like “dirt on the bottom of their shoes”. One went as far as to give me her number then when I called she said she only gave it to me to tell me she was never interested in the first place. Another woman told me after a month that she had met another man and was deciding which of us was better. (I told her to get lost) Women are opportunists–if another man comes along they feel is better they will dump you as quickly as possible. Women wouldn’t know a good man if he hit her in the head with a “2 by 4”.

  • Mary

    Most men complaining about women being too picky only find that to be true because they only pursue women who are young enough to be their daughter or granddaughter. They get mad because no woman in her early 20’s is interested in a man in his 50’s. If you refuse to date someone your own age, yes, most women will reject you. A woman isn’t going to settle for someone she’s not interested in just to be in a relationship.

  • S. Henry

    Take a look guys. Take a good look. Anywhere you go you see overweight, inked up unattractive women who think they’re nothing less than supermodels. That coupled with their
    terrible attitude toward men is why most sane guys have given up on dating! Any self-respecting man would not have anything to do with these disgusting pigs masquerading as females. I’m older and sure, I wanted to find a gal to settle down with but that didn’t happen. The pickings are much slimmer for young guys these days. They have my sympathy!!!!

  • Reply

    I’ve been with a good number of good women, who have been nice and encouraging but on the other hand I’ve noticed a deep seated hostility in almost all of them, it’s this really hateful, poisonous undercurrent. The more unattractive a woman is, unironically the more pronounced this spitefulness is – hence things like the Karen phenomenon. I’ve been bullied primarily by women, despite dating beautiful girls, and for some reason unattractive women have a hard on for emasculating me and humiliating me.

    Honestly, I can’t imagine how less attractive men can tolerate these women.

  • Don

    Immediate disclaimer: AVfM is not mine, but since I have no website of my own and AVfM is where I read about this site and article, I think, in order for me to comment too (free speech accessible to all), using such to fill in the webpage (*) field is fair. I contacted this site’s owner about this but got no response. Hopefully he’ll let me speak too.

    Men of the world: if you can’t manage to speak up about all the terribly unfair things that happen to you when you pursue women and try to live the expected life, then you deserve all that happens to you. Stop complaining and get busy active in political resistance. Otherwise, just be man enough to go your own way. Learn to rely on each other for company, comfort, and a decent future. Not necessarily gay (and most likely not) but definitely smarter than the average man. Stop being a stuffed shirt, obedient puppet and preprogrammed spring-loaded wind-up doll and get busy defending yourselves and the boys of today/men of tomorrow. It’s simply not manly to be a plowed-over wimp.

  • Pissed Off American


    While I was growing up my parent’s bitched about NOT having grandkids due to noise, dirt etc. When I hit 50 my mother tells me “I’d like some grandkids” I reminded her when I was young and she said, “We figured you would have them anyway”. Well, you got your wish and your 30 years too late. I have a younger brother and sister and none of us have kids. Can’t say I miss them. At one time I thought I was the odd ball in life, turned out I wasn’t seeing the others in forests having the same problems. I like kids, just couldn’t stand the mothers. Went MGTOW years ago.

  • Pissed Off American

    I tried to date and be honest for years. It always turned into a job interview of how much I made, what I could buy her and her telling me what and how to live. Selling everything for her including my dog. None of my wants or needs entered the picture. They all thought it all started and end in between their legs.

    I finally gave up, Live in my shop. Build what I want, and they can kiss my ass, no kids, child support, court BS. Friends wonder why I have less money than them, but a better life and more stuff I want. They worked their ass off for big houses and fancy cars etc. etc. to keep mommy happy.
    If truth was known some of their kids are not theirs because they don’t even look like them. Women still throw out that slit bait, but I refuse to bite.
    Seems to really piss them off. At 69 years old I don’t care. Some are trying to get in for the short term for the estate scraps. Have a “girlfriend” of 30+ years and she has just become someone for brunch dates where she buys and that’s it. I have become her, mechanic, handyman, and chauffeur. Starting to turn down brunch dates due they are a waste of time since she is on her phone texting most of the time.

    She is a hoarder and sits at home refusing to clear it out and won’t let me help. It’s gotten to the point it’s not worth the hassles to help her or look for another one.

    I decide years ago all women want is a Sperm donor and a bank account to support them. I have had them almost strip to get it. They care less about what you want. The older they get the more desperate they get. Just ask them.

    As a friend of mine that got married SEVEN TIME and DIVORCED SEVEN TIMES, spent over a million dollars on settlements. “Settlements are the screwing you’re getting for the screwing you got” He was a slow learner. Good Luck Mr. Little Head!

  • Greg Kelly

    Very highly educated (more than me) ex wives who refused to work based on my making “more in a month than they did in a year…”

    Shouldn’t that entitle ME & not THEM?

    That’s definitely not how divorce law work$…

  • Thom Paine

    Women invest much in producing an egg for fertilization and the investment in time and resources for pregnancy put a woman’s life at risk so women prefer well healed elitists with money so the woman feel secure in investing in delivering a child. Even if a woman doesn’t want children, the same urges apply as if she did.

    Men produce millions of sperm every day. They have almost no investment and there isn’t a time factor like pregnancy causes women. So, men are less fussy on mate selection. It’s just the way things are.

    Nowadays there are differences that affect men’s relationships with women. , Corporations have been pumping estrogen mimicking hormones into our food supply which means men are being fed female hormones and that means less libido. If there isn’t the carrot of sex, then why would a man risk rejection and all the overhead of courting a female when the man doesn’t really want to have sex that much at all. Kids today don’t have the same sex drive as kids had when I was young and that’s because the way Dow has estrogenized America’s men.

    Also, I’m this day and age of lack of dangerous predators risking human life, men aren’t as needed by females as they once were. Females relies on men’s generally superior strength to survive but that type of situation does t exist any longer. Females can be just fine with the protection afforded by the local constabulary. Also, women tend to select for intelligence. Since women are better suited to academics, women are doing well in secondary education, and women who invested the time and resources to go to college prefer mates with equal to greater academic achievement.

    Women want to know that their mate can pay the bills but the real income of workers has dropped while the price of housing has skyrocketed making it so men who have gone to college can’t earn enough to be a home. It used to be in the 70s that a supermarket cashier made 15.00+ per hour while 3 bedroom houses costed 15-20K. Houses were almost free. And women feel a sense of security by dating a male homeowner. But the corporations have games the system so that people struggle to find shelter at all.

    When societies enter eras of intense sadism and out of control elitist perverts attacking women’s rights, women tend to not want to reproduce in such a society. Why would an Iraqi would want to bring kids up in ISIS territory knowing the terrorists could rape and impregnate and force to deliver the evil rapists baby at the victims family’s expense. Climate change is sure to cause the deaths of billions. Who wants to raise kids in such a hell-hole? Our last POTUS bragged about raping children and bragged about sexually assaulting married women so it’s not surprising that some women are deeply offended and feel unsafe even having an acquaintance relationship with males at all. I have a daughter who is so disgusted with the sadism so rampant among men that she is wondering an if she should try to find a really good girlfriend and forget males altogether. It’s because the snarky narcissistic attitudes by untalented Medicare at best punks. She keeps her job, pays all the bills and he can’t hold down a job, complains that minorities took his job away when he quits after being told to get to work. So many young males expect a woman to be the bread winner, so all the cleaning while the man sits in his butt all day playing video games, smoking dope and watching rude right wing blowhards telling him to turn into a monster. Society are raising feckless beta-CUCK male posers who feign alpha status and can’t face the fact that most males aren’t alphas. It’s like a more sinister case of participation trophies as these sniveling incel men are told it’s everyone else’s fault rather than the reality of the times we live in. They are told that women owe the incels sex regardless of whether the women want to have sex or not. They are a bunch of crying babies who have been rabble rousers by cult of personality scum.

    This is a rotten time to have kids. Nobody with morals is having children these days and the purpose of dating and sex is ultimately procreating. They are told that unlike every previous generation, todays incels don’t have to work for it, don’t have to risk rejection, that they are owed sex and romantic companionship simply because they exist.

    Lastly, not all women are the same. There are plenty of women who snivel the same refrain in order to incite the incels to violence but the one thing these terror-hussies won’t do is give the incel a pity-F. These dangerous hussies don’t want to put out to incels, they want the incel to commit terrorism on “others”. Any woman who snivels that young men aren’t getting enough sex, do something about it! You have a sec organ that you can give to the nearest Nazi incel

    Also, there are men who are having a great time dating women. These tend to be societies winners but that’s the point in natural selection. Women want the best genetics for their offspring.

    The real problem today is demonic sadism that percolates throughout our culture. Fix that and be a good person and almost any incel could find a wonderful woman. If we make a society that people enjoy living in then women will want more sex. If you don’t want sex you can insult, threaten and degrade women like so many “become a monster!” Or “raise your children to be monsters!” sniveling incel blowhards cry about. I get it. If you are a decent man and want female companionship, I hope you find it so long as you are a decent person. People who are evil narcissistic monsters deserve nothing but hatred and derision from all of mankind. Of that sentence makes you mad it’s because you are on the side of evil.

  • Keith

    I think that the idea that women mature faster than men is not true. I believe that we are in this place because women don’t. We are dealing with a lot of little girls not women. That would explain the way that they act and the type of guys they go after. Also I heard an great example how women are. This is from a women. That everyday that are chemically different and that changes that perception on everything.

  • brendon banon

    Controlled opposition betamale

  • barry

    “on line dating is a cesspool ” because of biology combined with social media.
    women find 3/4 of the adult male population to be sexually unattractive.
    men find 3/4 of the adult female population to be sexually attractive.
    this guarantees thousands of “like” swipes for every female who isn’t fugly, while only a very elite few of the high status guys are each shared amongst many hot women, most who’ll ride the CC until they end up as middle aged cat ladies.
    younger poorer dudes hoping for a stabile relationship will only endure so many rejections until they stop playing this dating game rigged against them-and they carry this painful memory well past middle age after they’ve paid their dues acheiving material success.

  • barry

    Self deluded are PUAs who think themselves immune from false accusations and a hashtag “believe all women”/metoo -especially at work – just because these guys avoid marriage or LTRs! They’ll be the FIRST to experience things like paternity fraud or lose their career (if they HAVE one) in this age of NO Due Process HR departments.
    Tinder hookups using a false name is just a false sense of security because social media is the ultimate surveillance system for whiteknight Big Brother .
    I’m so glad I made peace with dying single/no kids as I view the world in how messed up it’s become and how hated straight white males now are and
    damned if I produce a new generation of slaves for the communist state.

  • Mitch

    Article is pretty much spot on.
    Its when some woman reject men and then complain about being single.

  • Rick


    Online dating is a cesspool because women are too picky. I once spoke to a woman who had got over 600 messages in a month and a half, and she claims that not a SINGLE man was attractive to her. Now, what are the odds that out of over 600 people, NO ONE WOULD BE ATTRACTIVE? How INSANE is that?

    Most of these women think they’re models when in reality most of them are average-looking and with their makeup off they are below average. Many will point to biology for women’s pickiness but the truth is that the pickiness of the modern woman has gone far beyond simple biology. They’ve been indoctrinated so deeply into Disney fantasy that even men who are on their same level or a little above are no longer good enough. They all think they deserve the perfect 10 with all the 6’s (6ft tall, 6 pack abs, 6 figure income), even when the girl herself is fat, has a terrible personality, and has nothing to offer outside of her crummy Gender Studies degree.

    As a man, the best thing you can do is just walk away. They are not going to change, because women would rather die off instead of correct their silliness and create a better situation for everyone. That’s how selfish, self-absorbed, and self-centered they are today.

  • Tim M

    Spot on! My ex wife was a control freak…she was manipulative and knew exactly what I needed or how I should dress etc etc. I was expected to change if our relationship was in trouble, yet she figured she was without faults…sure! I couldn’t take it anymore. She expected me to clean the house and do as she said. I’m like, NOPE! Life is too short, so I divorced her. Dating? My God! What a farce! Online dating is total joke! Women can pick and choose: either ignore you or play head games. No more online dating.

  • Marius

    This is a good article I think if men really articulate all their reasons for staying single it will not be an article but rather a book. I am 39 year old engineer, and never married and no children. I have spent all my time studying and working on my business and paying my own mortgage. Being single I live the good life, not so much women, but friends, massages, dinners at restaurants 4 times a week and go as I please where and when I want and apologize to no one for living my life freely.

    I sometimes wish I could shake some sense into young men when I see them getting married young, get kids and then work the next 21 years as a slave for a family who rejects him with the power of the family courts. Men who love women while women have nothing but contempt and disrespect for men. Any young man today must be wise and learn from millions of men who made these mistakes and learned the hard way. The love women talk about it not guaranteed or virtuous. But you will not regret investing your time, money and efforts into developing yourself instead, no one else will. Its time young men put themselves first as if there future depends on it. Because it really does. Forget the traditions and religions doctrines as those who preach will not take accountability when things are your mess to put up with. Like parents will pressure you to marry an have grand children. But when things goes bad then its your baby to sort out…dont be bullied into it.

    • Reply


      I appreciate the time you took to write a comment that comes from personal experience but also has good advice for single men. I am currently working on further developing and researching into this area. I would like to write a book about it since I have received quite a bit of positive feedback from this article. I know quite a few men who believe what you articulated in your comment and in the points that I listed in the article. I hope you enjoy the site.



  • Craig Barnes

    Interesting article with some valid points, in my opinion. I am a 70+ year-old disabled Vietnam veteran who has NEVER been married and glad this is the case. To say that modern American women, especially (rabid) feminists in 2018, are extraordinarily “unattractive” is a huge understatement!!

    I have never been and never will be able to stand the hypocrisy, lies, and manipulation that the great majority of American women (of all ages?) practice with increasing frequency. Equality? MUTUAL respect, understanding, and appreciation? No, no, and NO.

    As the Bible says, we – both men AND women – “reap what we sow.” So, if more and more (young) women dish out a steady diet of hate, mistrust, disrespect, and dishonesty towards all men (BUT especially single ones), then I just don’t want to hear another word of complaint or self-pity. For over seven decades now, it has sickened me how toxic an environment WOMEN have successfully striven to create to satisfy their own sexist agendas. Enough already. Please leave us alone.

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