Since the holiday season is basically over (until Valentine’s Day), we will finally stop seeing those annoying engagement pictures on Facebook about your old high-school friends getting engaged. I admit, I love being single, and the reason I choose to be single is that there are a lot of men my age that need some time to mature. I’m overhearing pickup lines from intoxicated men at the bar and being called to come over at 10 pm. Where are all the good guys? I have a bit of relationship envy and maybe readers can relate. How is everyone else happy and in love, when all I seem to get are those unwanted nude pics from guys I have no interest in? Here’s how to deal with relationship envy, and don’t worry you are not alone.

Three Ways Singles Can Deal With Relationship Envy

Stand In Your Truth

Perhaps we all need to fix ourselves to be presentable to another person. We might need to work on how much we value ourselves and where we derive our self-worth. Maybe self-confidence is low. Whatever caused the reason for those low feelings, there is always a way to improve. Stand in your truth and recognize where you are in life. If you need to find a support group, find one. Do whatever you need to do in order to recognize who you are, where you stand, and where you need to get in order to improve your life. You owe it to yourself to pick yourself up and make a better life for yourself. Along the way of finding yourself, you might just find you attract better partners. Seriously, no more 10 pm calls, what’s wrong with our society that people do this?

 Stop Comparing Yourself To Others

This is perhaps one of the most beaten drums in all complicated conversations when we talk about why we aren’t keeping up with the Joneses or the Kardashians as much as we’d like. Comparison is a sick habit we should all avoid. It destroys our self-confidence and makes us feel inadequate. There will always be someone who is smarter, richer, more beautiful, or more whatever than we are. What we can do, instead of comparing how happy our best friend is in their new relationship, is to recognize that we are awesome and amazing just the way we are. Of course, there is room for improvement, but do it at your pace and make the changes out of love. No matter how inadequate you feel, love yourself through it all. Make sure you write down the pro’s about yourself, and to not compare yourself to others who seem to have it all, the car, the house, the relationship, the dogs, and the new baby. You are where you are, and you can love yourself just the way you are. Improve your life out of love to become better, and never compare.

Realize That You May Not Be Ready For A Relationship

Yeah, this is a hard pill to swallow. I can relate when I feel like I can take on more work but then get slapped in the face because I have not yet developed the skills to operate at that level. There are no cutting corners, and the same goes for relationships. You just may not be ready. Remember that everyone matures at different stages in their lives, and may just be going through some trauma. Heal yourself, love yourself, and recognize that you may need more time cooking in the oven before you are ready to pop out and be a beautifully decorated cake. Take time to appreciate where you are.


You may just realize that marriage and relationships just suck and want to join a polyamorous community. Or you may toss in the towel altogether and say fuck it. However you decide to handle your relationship envy, just enjoy being single and love yourself through all of it. Take your time to develop your career and stop focusing on what’s going on outside of you. Focus on you, and do what you need to in order to move on, move up, and become more badass than you already are. Make it happen. Your happiness is 100% depended on you, so do what makes you happy. Love you all! Stay securely single!



Happy New Years,

Views expressed in this article are the author’s opinions and do not necessarily reflect the views of Secure Single. It is intended for informational and educational purposes only. It is not investment or financial advice. James Bollen is the author of Thriving Solo: How to Flourish and Live Your Perfect Life (Without A Soulmate). Now available in paperback and for the Kindle on Amazon. Subscribe to Secure Single’s Substack for free!


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Danielle has chosen to be single in her walk of life. She experienced dating in her late teens and early twenties, and had always felt each relationship was unfulfilling. To find more meaning in her life, she broke off to go down a path of self-discovery.
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