Society pressures singles to date. Is dating the answer for singles? Contrary to what friends, family, and society may have told you, dating is not a solution. When you are anti-dating, you can focus on yourself. There are twenty reasons for singles to embrace anti-dating.

Anti-Dating: Dating Is Not The Answer For Singles

The Problem With Dating 


Dating is a way to meet someone you may be interested in romantically. Today, dating can mean anything from short-term to long-term romantic relationships. Singles are pressured to date by their peers, family, and society. The dating industrial complex further feeds the need to date.


The problem with dating is that it is a form of external validation. You are getting your validation from someone else. Specifically, you are getting approval from what your friends and family think of your significant other. You view yourself through how people view you and your significant other as a couple. This type of external validation is superficial because you could break with your significant other anytime. Internal validation that comes from you is more important than external validation you receive from dating.


Recommended Article: 3 Ways Singles Can Survive The Dating Industrial Complex




Instead of always dating and getting your approval from your relationship status, you can stop dating. When you date, you waste your time, money, and resources dating someone when the relationship may not even work out. There are better ways that you could spend your time, money, and resources than always dating someone. You can thrive as a single person!


Recommended Article: What Singles Need To Know About Wedding Season And Wedding Industrial Complex


20 Advantages Of Not Dating For Singles


Dating Is Not The Answer For Singles 


Society pressures singles to date. Are dating and romance the best use of singles time? It will ultimately depend on your goals. There is more to life than dating. Singles can use their time to work on themselves rather than always trying to find a significant other. Dating is not the answer for singles. Remember, the best investment is in yourself. Here are three ways how you can begin to invest in yourself.


Invest In Yourself 


You are your own best investment. You must develop your skills and apply your knowledge to make yourself stand out among your peers. Here are two ways how you can begin to invest in yourself. Invest in yourself by always learning. Invest in yourself by always working to improve yourself by breaking bad habits to developing good habits. Focus on yourself.




College is a waste of time and money. Self-education is more critical to your success than going to college and getting an overpriced college degree. Discover what you are passionate about, then find ways to make money from it. There are many options today as the world has grown smaller because of the Internet. You can learn by reading articles online. You can learn by watching YouTube videos. You can learn by buying a digital course on a subject you want to learn more about or to improve your skillset.


Applied Knowledge


College only teaches you the information you must regurgitate back to your professor to pass a test. Knowledge is not practical if it does not help you daily. Applied knowledge is done by learning hard skills. The most helpful form of applied knowledge is entrepreneurship and the knowledge you need to do your job.


Soft And Hard Skills 


To get ahead, you must make yourself valuable. Hard skills are how you build your skills and give value to an employer. Soft skills are only the icing on the cake, but they won’t get you anywhere regarding a successful career. Below is a combination of nine hard and soft skills you can learn.


Trade Skills


You could learn a trade. You learn to work with your hands and to fix problems that people need to be fixed with a trade. As Baby Boomers are preparing to retire, this will create more open positions if you are interested in learning a trade skill.  There are a variety of different trades that you can choose from. Some of the trades that you could learn are:


  • Electricians
  • Welders
  • Machinists
  • Construction Occupations
  • Heating and Cooling
  • Civil Engineers
  • Mechanical Engineers
  • Industrial Mechanics


According to the Universal Technical Institute, specific trade jobs are in high demand. These trades include:


  • Welder
  • Aircraft Mechanic
  • Plumber
  • Home Inspector
  • Licensed Practical Nurse (LPN)
  • HVAC Technician
  • Construction Manager
  • Legal Assistant
  • Respiratory Therapist
  • Dental Hygienist


The best thing about learning a trade is that you don’t need to go into debt or waste four years or more of your life going to college. Trade school is only for a year or two; you find an apprenticeship to apply your learned skills.


Tech Skills 


You can also learn tech skills. Technical skills involve applied knowledge and expertise in information technology, cybersecurity, computers, engineering, research, programming, design, marketing, analytics, blockchain, and artificial intelligence. You could consider learning tech skills if you are good with computers and technology. Technology continues to be vital today. It will only continue as people have become reliant upon it to operate and run their lives, from finding a new restaurant to encountering technical issues with their car. The tech field is a great field to consider if you are interested in learning about and love all things tech. According to Indeed, there are currently fifty-one in-demand tech skills for technology careers. Here are the top ten in-demand tech skills:


  • Artificial Intelligence (AI)
  • Cybersecurity
  • Cloud Computing
  • Software Engineering
  • Software Development
  • Project Management
  • UI/UX Design
  • Data Analytics
  • Data Science
  • Programming


Regardless of your specialty and niche in information technology, tech skills are hard skills. Hard skills are the essential skills you need to work on developing from day one. Or, in the case of cybersecurity, from the zero-day. Bad cybersecurity joke. I know.


Business Skills 


If you are entrepreneurial and interested in learning business, then there is no better time than starting today. There is now a low cost of entry to creating an online business. However, you will need to learn to manage and deal with employees, contractors, or freelancers depending on how you decide to hire your workers.




You will need to learn to delegate. According to the Corporate Finance Institute, “In management, delegating refers to sharing or transferring responsibilities. And typically happens from a superior (or an employer) to a subordinate (or an employee). Delegating is a critical skill for supervisors at any level. It can be a major challenge for them to learn, due to concerns of giving up control or the lack of confidence in the abilities of others.”


Delegation is a vital business skill for an entrepreneur to learn. When you delegate responsibilities and roles to people with the skillset and experience, your business will become more efficient. When you delegate tasks to others, it will save your time so you can focus on higher-level tasks. It also develops trust between the employer and the employee by improving communication. Delegating enhances the efficiency, productivity, and time management of a business. As a business owner, your first and ultimate priority is to find ways to create revenue streams for your business.


Delegate. Delegate. Delegate.


Managing People 


It is also vital for a business owner to learn how to manage people. Whether you have an in-person or an online business, it is a skill you will learn. It will only be done differently if you have a physical or an online business. According to What Makes A Good Leader?, there are eighteen essential management skills:


  • Be passionate about managing people
  • Control your emotions
  • Provide more feedback than you think is necessary
  • Provide one on one feedback sessions with your employee(s) or contractor(s)
  • Don’t be afraid to overcommunicate
  • Make work fun
  • Be polite
  • Listen more than you talk
  • Thank your people for their suggestions
  • Always give negative feedback in private
  • Develop a keen eye for the doable
  • Be persistent
  • Tell people what they can do
  • Create passion for your product or service
  • Set objectives
  • Align your leadership behavior and communication
  • Motivate your employee(s) or contractor(s)
  • The proper amount of planning


Any small business owner will learn these skills whether they want to or not. It comes with the territory of managing people. Managing people follows from delegating tasks to allowing you to focus on the most critical parts of your business and where your time and skills are best spent to grow your business.


Finding New Revenue Streams


You must always find new revenue streams for your business to grow and become profitable. You can even get a business running on autopilot once you have all the roles filled to keep it going and bring in revenue for you. An online business has a lower entry cost than a physical business. To start an online business today, you need a website, email list, YouTube Channel, and products and services to sell to your customers. While working to create your products or services, you can join affiliate programs and get ads on your website or YouTube Channel to start generating revenue streams.


Not every business will succeed or become worth a million dollars. But, since businesses require more risk, the reward is higher than being an employee or being self-employed financially if you are successful.




Money is required to live. Money is a tool. You can use it to improve your quality of life. Here are three ways to improve your financial education.




The first step to better managing your money is to set up a budget. A popular budget to follow is the 50/30/20 budget. The 50/30/20 budget allocates fifty percent of your income towards your needs. It then gives thirty percent of your income towards your wants. The final twenty percent of your income is allocated towards savings and paying off payments.



You will spend fifty percent of your budget each month on fixed items like your rent, mortgage, and other things that don’t change. You then need to calculate how much you spend on your wants. You don’t need these things to live or survive, but they make your life more enjoyable.



Thirty percent will go towards wants. It could be entertainment like going to the movies, Netflix, YouTube Premium, or buying a new blazer or summer dress that you want but don’t need since you already have an entire wardrobe. Finally, you want to include your budget money to go towards savings and to pay off any debt you may have.


That is the 50/30/20 budget in a nutshell.




When you get more advanced, you can consider learning how to trade. Investopedia says, “Trading is the buying and selling of securities, such as stocks, bonds, currencies, and commodities, as opposed to investing, which suggests a buy a hold strategy. Trading success depends on a trader’s ability to be profitable over time.”



You will need five things to start trading. You will first need to open a trading account. You will need to decide on an online broker to open your account with before you can begin trading. Second, you will need to start to understand and read the markets. You can read books on the stock market and trading, financial articles, website tutorials, and YouTube Channels that cover trading the market. Third, you will need to learn and analyze data by understanding the basics of technical and financial analysis. Fourth, you will need to practice trading. Fifth, you will learn best by trading through your own experience, although you can find online classes on trading too.



You can learn strategies to trade or invest in other currencies. Currencies are traded on foreign exchange (forex). Currencies increase or decrease in value over time. You can make money by shorting or going long against different currencies. For example, you could short the Dollar and go long the euro, then sell when the euro is worth more relative to the dollar.




You can also look into cryptocurrencies like Bitcoin. You can go short and long on cryptocurrencies too. You can go along with a cryptocurrency, say Bitcoin, by buying and holding it for an extended period or choosing never to sell. According to Bite My Bitcoin, you can also short cryptocurrencies by “borrowing an asset [cryptocurrency] with the expectation that its value will decline.” According to International Man, Bitcoin has absolute scarcity.


Manage Yourself


It is essential to learn to manage yourself. You will become more productive. This will better help you to reach your life goals. Here are three ways how you can manage yourself.


Time Management 


There are only twenty-four hours in a day. There are only three hundred and sixty-five days in a year, except for the leap year. It is up to you to learn how to manage your time. According to ProofHub, there are twenty-two effective time management strategies. Here are ten time management tips to get you started:


  • Know how and where you spend your time
  • Prioritize your time and tasks
  • Make a to-do list for each day of the week
  • Make a to-do list for each month
  • Make a to-do list for big goals you want to achieve each year
  • Focus without distractions
  • Time block your day
  • Prioritize your tasks from high to low
  • Record your daily routine
  • Automate your workflow


You will find when you better manage your time that, you will begin to reach your goals. Stop making excuses. Start to prioritize and manage your time. You can achieve more than society tells you that you can do.


Build Your Resources 


When you don’t waste time dating, you can build your resources. You can work to develop your hard skills, which will make you more valuable in the job market. You can learn to allocate your resources by saving, investing, and speculating. You can run on autopilot if you can make most of your financial resources through passive income.


Manage Your Resources 


After you have built your resources, you want to start to manage them. You can begin to manage your resources to help you to achieve your goals. You can set aside the amount you know you need each month and year to cover your cost of living expenses along with your wants, then save the rest. You can start to plan and use your resources in such a way that you can begin to prepare for your future. When you properly manage your resources, you will feel more confident about your future instead of living paycheck to paycheck.




For singles, there are many advantages to traveling alone. Here are two reasons to travel.


Travel Alone 


Travel also plays a critical role in your personal development. You can gain valuable experiences that will set you apart from your peers. Those experiences, and stories, are worth more than any college degree. According to Sky Refund, there are ten benefits of traveling:


  • Achieve peace of mind
  • Enhance your creativity
  • Improve your communication skills
  • Broaden your horizons
  • Boost your confidence
  • Real-life education
  • Memories and experiences
  • Understand and learn about yourself
  • Have fun
  • Improve your health


There is nothing wrong with traveling alone. You don’t need to travel with a significant other, a partner, or family. Find a location that is of interest to you. Figure out what you need to go. Plan your trip. Enjoy your trip by yourself!


Recommended Article: Solo Travel: Tips for Trip for Singles to See the World Alone


Move To A Less Expensive Country 


If where you are currently living is too expensive, and you can move to another country, then you can raise your living standards by going to a less expensive country. There could be other factors that could go into your decision as well when it comes to moving to another country. It is best to travel to a country you are considering before you decide to move there, get a second passport, temporary or permanent residency, or second citizenship. Sovereign Man has a cost of living index that you can look at to compare six main factors for countries: cost of living, safety, climate, air and water pollution, English proficiency, and taxation type.




Relationships are important for singles, but you don’t need to date. Here are two types of relationships you can focus on that are not romantic relationships.




When you are not focused on dating, you can work to build your connections. Connections are essential for networking, building professional relationships, creating business relationships, and finding new jobs before publicly publishing them on job websites. According to Indeed, there are five reasons why building connections are essential:


  • New job opportunities
  • Mentorship
  • Professional development
  • Expanded customer reach
  • Faster promotion


The best way to start building connections is to participate in your industry. You can go to networking events. You can also participate virtually on professional websites like LinkedIn. You will then want to provide value by providing your expertise by publishing your content from your website, YouTube Channel, and newsletter. You can also provide value by showing that you can work with others. Finally, develop an online presence. This is especially vital today. Make your online presence professional on sites like LinkedIn. Show off your work and expertise that is professional without being salesy.




When you are not wasting time dating, you will have more time with friends. You can invite them over to your apartment, condo, or house. You can go out with your friends to your favorite bar or restaurant. Friendship is essential since humans are social creatures. Your friends will often share common values and goals with you. However, it is critical to avoid toxic superficial friends.


Recommended Article: Learn How To Remove Toxic People From Your Life Like An Expert




There is nothing wrong with being against dating, whether for a time or life. Being single is a time to work on yourself. You can focus on yourself by improving your professional and financial life. If you can, traveling alone can also benefit you since you will gain life experiences that you will never forget. In short, being anti-dating is fantastic because you can focus on yourself!

Views expressed in this article are the author’s opinions and do not necessarily reflect the views of Secure Single. It is intended for informational and educational purposes only. It is not investment or financial advice. James Bollen is the author of Thriving Solo: How to Flourish and Live Your Perfect Life (Without A Soulmate). Now available in paperback and for the Kindle on Amazon. Subscribe to Secure Single’s Substack for free!
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James Bollen is the Founder and President of Secure Single. He is an entrepreneur and a content creator with the goal of helping all different types of singles to learn to thrive as a single person.
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