Sometimes it seems like increasing your self-esteem is harder than pounding a nail into a concrete wall with five dollar hammer. If you hit away all day, you might notice some progress. You might even need to use lots of different nails just to make a tiny scratch. If you keep at it, you can see improvement. You may have wondered if there are health benefits of self-love.

Benefits of Self-Love

There is a study that says— Yes! There are benefits of self-love

But it’s not a quick fix, especially if you’ve got a serious case of low self-esteem. Being single gives you time to be by yourself and reflect on things. You know like life. Why you’re here and how the hell did those voices get into your head.

It might take time to love yourself, but the benefits of self-love will show up fast if you slow down enough to pay attention

There’s no time like like Valentine’s Month to do a little researching so you too can join in the self-love club. At the University of Oxford and the University of Exeter researchers looked at the heart rates of participants. There were five groups. Each segment listened to a different serious of 11-minute audios.

  • Group #1 was told to send “kind and compassionate attention to their body sensations.”
  • Group #2 was to “direct friendly wishes” toward a person they liked.
  • Group #3 was asked to think about  an achievement
  • Group #4 was guided to think about something they did not accomplish
  • Group #5 was to imagine going to a grocery store.

Then they answered questions regarding things like people connections, being kind to themselves and their sense of safety. Loving yourself can help you feel good even if you’re single on Valentine’s Day.

They analyzed the effects of the results of these different thoughts of students through sweat and heart rate

Researchers noted that there were benefits to self-love. The researchers found the being kind to yourself turns of the fight or flight response and instead makes your body go into a relaxed state. Being relaxed is essential for regeneration and healing.

Another researcher said “Our study is helping us understand the mechanism of how being kind to yourself when things go wrong could be beneficial in psychological treatments. By switching off our threat response, we boost our immune systems and give ourselves the best chance of healing.”

So you can stop judging others, and yourself. Instead, tell yourself things are actually pretty decent today. Even fabulous! Don’t beat yourself up over things that happen like being three minutes late for work. No scenario in anyone’s life is Hollywood perfect. Or is it?

Remember every blockbuster movie has the formula that everyone loves

There are rags to riches, and a person falling hard and rising to their top. Another movie formula has the hero rise, then crash, then rise again more satisfied, and feeling powerful. And there are of course there are the movies that aren’t so warm and fuzzy.

The one where the hero falls rises and falls once again into the dark abyss. But we know which movie endings we like the best, right? The one where there are struggle and pain. You’re then left with some happiness and hopefully a lot more wisdom.

What kind of movie script do you want your life to look like?

According to scientists — being the hero who struggles, triumphs and learns about self-love is the script I’m going to write for my journey. What movie do you want to live? I’m choosing the self-love masterpiece.

Lots of Love,

Dina Colada

Views expressed in this article are the author’s opinions and do not necessarily reflect the views of Secure Single. It is intended for informational and educational purposes only. It is not investment or financial advice. James Bollen is the author of Thriving Solo: How to Flourish and Live Your Perfect Life (Without A Soulmate). Now available in paperback and for the Kindle on Amazon. Subscribe to Secure Single’s Substack for free!
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Dina has been mostly single for much of her adult life with lots of dating in between some short, yet growth-centered relationships. She has devoted most of her time to helping singles thrive while on the path to love. She is multi-passionate and loves to connect with other entrepreneurs— Especially ones that are single!
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