Our lives are composed of the choices we make, and the choices we intend to make. Each decision carefully crafts our futures in a way that could drastically impact how we interact with people, the careers we choose, the amount of income we take in, how healthy we are, and our levels of happiness. The quality of choices we make determines the quality of our lives. Some may call it the Butterfly Effect.

Two of the biggest choices people make are their choices in a career and their choices in a partner. Your career should always come first, as it is the way you provide for yourself, your family, and your country. To put food on the table, and to turn your lights on at home are critical. In fact, your sense of security is one of the most pressing needs you have to fulfill. After your needs are met to provide for yourself, then you have the option to choose a partner.

Many millennials are striving to find a sense of security through finding a meaningful career. The millennial generation is also attempting to pay off student loans. These two focuses are essential to lead a fulfilling life. We are all assured we will find just what we are looking for, but what do we do when it comes to love? Finding a meaningful relationship with someone who is compatible with us, and will help up become a better person is a huge need. To love, and give love in return is one of the greatest gifts in life. A soul mate, or our other half, is something many people are looking for even beyond their 20s and 30s.

Who you choose as a partner is critical. They can either make you or break you, as Napoleon Hill once noted in his book Think and Grow Rich.

From the logistical side, it would make sense to have your life together before you have a lifelong, loving partner in your life. You will need to pursue your passions first to feel a sense of profound accomplishment and self-fulfillment before you fall in love. But what happens if you meet someone along the way? Is it possible to balance both love and career? It depends on who you are as a person, and what your priorities are.

You should want to be as complete as you can before letting a partner join you along your journey. But if it happens to be that love happens, you should share a mutual understanding of support in each other’s career paths.

How you weather the storm will reveal to yourself just what you are made of. Some millennials can balance this, while others are either on one side or the other.

As a rule of thumb, you should have your education and career in forwarding progression first. The reason for having your life in order before you choose your partner will make for a smoother sail when you partner up. One thing is for certain, there is nothing wrong with being single and finding yourself. There is also nothing wrong with having a partner who loves and supports you in your journey.

I believe so many people are in search of love for the wrong reason, and we select what is fast, convenient, and in the end a genuinely bad match.

Take your time when choosing a partner, and keep focused on your goals no matter what. The right person will come along when you least expect. If your partner is a quality person, they will respect you for staying true to who you are and not compromising your dreams. They may have the same mindset as you. You want someone to complement you. When you have your career and goals aligned with yourself and can fully provide and support yourself, you will have someone to enjoy your time with.

Get your life in order first, choose your career. When you are independent, fulfilled, and happy, you will attract the right person. Good luck out there Secure Singles! Love is a battlefield!

Securely Single,

Danielle E. Brockman

Views expressed in this article are the author’s opinions and do not necessarily reflect the views of Secure Single. It is intended for informational and educational purposes only. It is not investment or financial advice. James Bollen is the author of Thriving Solo: How to Flourish and Live Your Perfect Life (Without A Soulmate). Now available in paperback and for the Kindle on Amazon. Subscribe to Secure Single’s Substack for free!


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Danielle has chosen to be single in her walk of life. She experienced dating in her late teens and early twenties, and had always felt each relationship was unfulfilling. To find more meaning in her life, she broke off to go down a path of self-discovery.
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