The news focuses on why women are single and then usually provides reasons to help women find a date. That is the story the media and popular culture sends to women, but society often sends a different message to single men. Single women have remained society’s focus until a recent Reddit user asked men why they are single. There are many reasons men are single or may choose to be single instead of seeking a relationship. Here are just a few reasons the single men said in response to that user’s question in the thread. Here are four reasons why men are single.

Four Reasons Why Men Are Single

Single, But Want to Date

For men that are single but would like to date, there are some common reasons why these men are still single. The first most discussed reason is often repeated on dating and relationship websites, single men don’t put themselves out there. But why don’t they do this? They may be too busy with work or life, they have difficulty reading body language (this is more common than you may think), have high standards, don’t go out enough, don’t go out enough to meet women, and single men may view themselves as not being financially viable to make a woman interested in them. Those are a few of the reasons why men who are single but want to date are still single.

Sick of Relationships And/Or Women

There are some other men out there who are single because they have had many terrible relationships with women or just plainly despise women. These single men may not be interested in a relationship because their parents were married and divorced multiple times. Their background and experience growing up and seeing their parents go through serial divorces does not make them interested in pursuing or finding someone to date.

There are other single men who just hate women. This could be because they do not get how women operate emotionally, think, communicate (verbally and nonverbally), or have given up on interacting with women altogether. This could be temporary or permanent for single men that have sworn off women. Some men may not enjoy talking to or hanging out with women, but they may still want to hook up with women when they are able since they still appreciate the physical beauty of women and sexual pleasure.

Career and Goal Oriented

Single men may also be career oriented and, for this reason, delay or put off getting married. The average age for single Millennial men to get married is 29. These men want to get a secure job, start their own business, or achieve financial independence and personal success before looking to date someone. However, some single people may have no interest in dating or getting married and may view working hard and being financially independent as a life goal instead of getting hitched. These single men may also have other personal goals, such as traveling, being involved in their community, supporting a cause they believe in, or wanting to live well in a certain area of the country, so they are willing to give up on being involved with a person for momentarily or for their entire life.

Single By Choice

There is another group of single men who have completely no interest in getting married. These single men enjoy what the single life offers them. Single men by choice, also do not view relationships as the end all and be all of life, which is contrary to what society tells singles. As singles by choice, these single men don’t mind being single and don’t feel they need to be in a relationship with another person. These single may be have decided to remain single by choice for personal, health, or religious, or they may identify as single. Ultimately, the cause of why single men choose to be single will be highly personal or may come down to identity.


There may be variations and particulars that go beyond the scope of this article for why men and women are single. Secure Single wants to explore those reasons more to help all single men and women. Are you a single man? We would enjoy hearing the range of reasons why men may choose to be single or want to be single for a time before wanting to date and get married.

Views expressed in this article are the author’s opinions and do not necessarily reflect the views of Secure Single. It is intended for informational and educational purposes only. It is not investment or financial advice. James Bollen is the author of Thriving Solo: How to Flourish and Live Your Perfect Life (Without A Soulmate). Now available in paperback and for the Kindle on Amazon. Subscribe to Secure Single’s Substack for free!


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James Bollen is the Founder and President of Secure Single. He is an entrepreneur and a content creator with the goal of helping all different types of singles to learn to thrive as a single person.
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