If you haven’t already heard about the trend of singles dominating the relationship status queue, then you probably don’t know about Sologamy. This new trend is possibly the next glorified step of officially labeling yourself as a very securely single person. Not only are sologamists married to themselves, but they have an official commitment to fulfill their needs from the very basic levels of being a provider and up through to the more levels of the complex inner self.

We can define sologamy as one who marries themselves. This might seem like a strange concept at first, but in fact, many people are participating in this self-matrimony possibly to put a theoretical middle finger up to traditional marriage, or to find a deeper love and meaning for oneself. Those who marry themselves make a commitment to the long journey of love, understanding, and compassion for the self.

This may be a glorified ‘single status,’ but there is more to it. Marrying yourself and forgoing choosing a partner is a bold move.


Photo Via http://www.cosmopolitan.com

Who Is Marrying Themselves

The demographics can be zeroed into a small niche group of people, though this may not be the ‘one size fits all’ label, our definition comes pretty close. The demographics range from feminists activists to millennials with student loan debt, and even middle aged 40-somethings who are set in their ways. Though this trend isn’t for everyone, there are some reasons why people marry themselves.

Why Would You Marry Yourself

There are many reasons why people marry themselves, but first, we may want to point out that as humans we are psychologically wired to need love. Love is one of the fundamental needs in order to live, and today we seem to be in short supply of love. Online internet dating sites make millions of dollars because if this need. By practicing self-love, we can fill our needs and become a very loving person. It can be difficult to find love when you are dating for marriage, you may be called out on ‘looking for love in all the wrong places.’ You don’t have to be a sologamist to love yourself, but self-love is practiced daily in sologamy.

You might also want to look at the student loan statistics for millennials. A person who graduates with a lot of student loan debt is more likely to be focused on developing their career and paying their debt off, rather than chasing family aspirations. Paying off your student loans would free a person in so many ways, financially, mentally, and emotionally. Debt is a terrible thing in itself. Millennials are psychologically putting off marriage to get a handle on their debt.

Sologamy can be fitting for entrepreneurs, workaholics, self-righteous feminists, and people with mental disorders. There are many reasons why sologamy seems to be the solution. You commit to yourself to love and care for yourself.


Photo Via Pinterest.com

Arguments Against Sologamy

For those in favor of marriage, want kids and want to build a family, sologamy is not for them. Even in the worst cases of domestic violence, marrying for the wrong reasons, and putting off your life to care for a family, sologamy isn’t something that everyone chooses. Though if you are in a situation with a partner where you are in danger, you will need to call for help to get into a better situation.

Families can be a great source of love, and that is why when people get older they want to have families of their own as well. For people who have had a terrible upbringing, having a family of their own can seem like a disastrous idea.


Photo Via www.lifesitenews.com, happy family, family smiling outside, young family.

How You Marry Yourself

Companies like iMarriedMe.com and Cera Travel of Kyoto, Japan are fully operating businesses that encourage people to marry themselves. If you live in Europe or the United States, you may want to note that sologamy is not recognized in Europe or the US as a legally binding union.

Benefits of Sologamy

One woman married herself at the age of 37 in a quiet ceremony of one near a waterfall in Big Sur, California. Here are some of the vows from her wedding ceremony, in case you may need the inspiration:

“I had prepared my “soul vows.” These vows were my deepest commitment to love, cherish, and deeply care for all parts of myself in sickness and in health, until my time on the planet comes to an end.

I vow to comfort myself during times of hopelessness, despair, depression, disillusionment, or any difficulty that arises.
I vow to be my Beloved always and in all ways.
I vow to never settle or abandon myself in romantic partnerships again.
I vow to live in the faith my life unfolds in mysterious divine perfection.
I vow to honor my spiritual path and create an amazing life whether I am ever legally married or not.
I vow to honor my calling and live my life as a work of art.
Some vows were tender and some fierce—some private, and some to be shared with the world.

Don’t bother with what others say, you do what you need to!


Photo via onedio.co, Woman in wedding dress, woman sitting in street, Bridesmaids


The marriage to oneself may not be for everyone, but you should keep in mind the reasons why people do commit to sologamy. Here’s a success story of one very happy woman. Stay secure my single friends (:

Danielle E. Brockman
Contributing Writer for Secure Single, LLC
More info on website LinkedIn.

Secure Single provides a forum for a diverse variety of perspectives, ideas, experiences, and resources and does not take official stances. All writers speak exclusively for themselves. Concurrently, any quotes, shares, reports, interviews, etc. do not imply endorsement by Secure Single LLC or its curators. Now go live your best single life!


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Danielle has chosen to be single in her walk of life. She experienced dating in her late teens and early twenties, and had always felt each relationship was unfulfilling. To find more meaning in her life, she broke off to go down a path of self-discovery.
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