Just got dumped? Here’s how to deal. You’re probably on an emotional roller-coaster, depending on your situation. If your partner left you, you’re feeling contempt, grief, depression, anger, and probably a mix of other bad feelings.

You need to know that you do need time to grief, so you can fully get over him/her. Allow yourself the time to process what just happened. Know that it probably would not have worked out long term if they had the courage to break it off. At all times, make sure to respect yourself, and the person you are. Let the other person go, even if it seems like a really hard task. Let it all go, the ups, downs, the good and the bad. There is no time for you to be surrounded by people who don’t support you, so focus on spending time with people who accept you just as you are. Take this as an opportunity into a fresh start and a new chapter in your life. Work on making good changes in your life that will benefit you.

How do you start to immediately feel better?

There are many ways you can begin to feel better after you’ve been dumped. One thing we might suggest over here at Secure Single is that you should take up a group activity. Your ex, and your friends you had together, are now in your past. It’s good to keep friends, but if it’s too painful to be reminded of someone you used to know, then you’ve got to start building new memories and experiences with new people.

Here’s a quick rundown on how you can feel better: Join a sports team. Do positive affirmations in the morning. Sunbathe and take walks in the sunshine. Hang out with happy people. Hug yourself. Hug a friend. Smile. Work out. Eat healthy. Drink plenty of water. And get lots of sleep.

On to the next?

Know that you may not exactly find someone like your ex, and don’t go looking for it. These are cases for trouble! In order to be fully there for yourself, you can’t go carrying your ‘just dumped’ emotions with you into your next relationship. Falling in love with a new person could take no time at all, or it could take multiple years. In the mid-way, you’ve got to learn to love your single life.

You may also think about ‘getting on top’ of another in order to ‘get over’ your ex. A note of caution, the person you get with most likely won’t understand your emotions or motives, especially right after you’ve been dumped. Make sure you don’t get emotionally f***’ed in the process, but rather make sure you are 100% okay with yourself before you open up your body to another. Treat yourself with kindness, and don’t just let your body be used, or use other people’s bodies. You don’t want to hurt others because you are hurting.

Okay so now what?

You’re going to have to learn to love yourself, even if your ex doesn’t. Truth be told there IS someone out there, and perhaps multiple people, who do love and appreciate you just as you are.

Breath. Relax. You’ve got this and are going to be OK!


Single & Securely yours,


Views expressed in this article are the author’s opinions and do not necessarily reflect the views of Secure Single. It is intended for informational and educational purposes only. It is not investment or financial advice. James Bollen is the author of Thriving Solo: How to Flourish and Live Your Perfect Life (Without A Soulmate). Now available in paperback and for the Kindle on Amazon. Subscribe to Secure Single’s Substack for free!
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Danielle has chosen to be single in her walk of life. She experienced dating in her late teens and early twenties, and had always felt each relationship was unfulfilling. To find more meaning in her life, she broke off to go down a path of self-discovery.
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