To be single is to be looked down upon in a society obsessed with matrimania. Society and popular culture glorify coupledom and has convinced families, friends, and dating businesses that if someone is single that the single person must be rescued from singledom. Society has built a mythology surrounding dating, couples, and marriage and singles do not fit the cultural narrative. The cultural solution is for singles to be paired up. Singles should not succumb to society’s pressure to be in a relationship unless it is something that a person wants in life.

The American society has created a myth about dating and marriage that is sent out daily to Americans through Hollywood, movies, and television. The result is that if someone is not dating, they feel like they need to be in a relationship. This results in casual dating in order to fit in with friends and family. People have become judged by their lack of a significant other and for their single state. This is a problem that stems from society’s expectations and beliefs about single people. The belief is that once a single person dates, finds the one, and gets married that they will now be happy. The happiness argument along with that some social and political views argue that marriage provides a societal good so it is important for people to get married. These variety of arguments that society presents, along with the belief that there is a right to marry, only makes it more difficult to be single in the 21st Century.

Despite the fact that marriage is believed to be a right; the American divorce rate ranges from 40% to 50%, depending on how the study is done. Society and people continue to tell singles that they need to find a mate and get married since ignoring facts and rationalizing anything is easy to do. American divorce is a problem, yet marriage is still forced upon singles. Single shaming someone because they are not dating and  are not married, or on their second or third marriage, is a problem that reflects the values of our culture.

Society needs to stop pressuring singles to date and to get married. The combination of the marriage myth and the divorce rate send contradictory societal messages, but singles still are expected to marry because it is a right. Singles need to present facts and arguments about the state of marriage to combat the societal perception that singles must get married to be happy.

Views expressed in this article are the author’s opinions and do not necessarily reflect the views of Secure Single. It is intended for informational and educational purposes only. It is not investment or financial advice. James Bollen is the author of Thriving Solo: How to Flourish and Live Your Perfect Life (Without A Soulmate). Now available in paperback and for the Kindle on Amazon. Subscribe to Secure Single’s Substack for free!
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James Bollen is the Founder and President of Secure Single. He is an entrepreneur and a content creator with the goal of helping all different types of singles to learn to thrive as a single person.
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