The culture wants people to learn to manage disagreeable people. The problem with this view is that society thinks something is wrong with someone being unfriendly. People expect everyone to want to be friendly and to get along. Disagreeable people are inaccurately portrayed as “whiners, [k]no[w]-it-alls, angry and confrontational, pushy and me first, rude, [a] tendency to fly off the handle, manipulators, bullies, sarcastic, and resentful.” In other words, anything that is the opposite of being a people pleaser or someone who tells someone exactly what they want to hear is considered to have a disagreeable personality. The power of the disagreeable personality is a strength.


[bctt tweet=”The reality is that it is different from how the world works. The world is not a nice place, and there is nothing wrong with being disagreeable. In a culture that wants everyone to be “nice,” this is the opposite message that people are brainwashed by through popular culture. ” username=”@secure_single”]


The Power Of The Disagreeable Personality


Culture Obsessed With Being Nice


[bctt tweet=”By believing in the “niceness myth,” you allow others to stomp on you, abuse you, and manipulate you.” username=”@secure_single”]


Our culture is obsessed with being nice. It expects everyone to be friendly, and society thinks everyone wants to get along. Society presents a fake facade of niceness, and this facade is a way to subject people to the false belief that being nice is the way to be.

You are expected to want to please people, and you are expected to tell people what they want to hear. You are expected to believe everything will turn out alright if you follow the steps outlined by society and trust the institutions.


In reality, the people who run the public and private institutions are out for their self-interest. It is in their interest that as many people as possible buy into the myth of being nice to decrease their number of competitors. The culture of niceness helps you to remain stagnant. The niceness culture helps to keep the following people in power:

  • Politicians
  • Celebrities
  • CEOs of big business
  • Academics
  • Financial and health “experts.”
  • Mainstream media newscasters


There can maintain their grip and control over you because you accept your place as lesser than theirs. They knew what to do to get to where they are at. They know how to maintain their position in the public or private sector. You listen, obey, and respect them because you were taught to do that.


You obey and respect fake people because you are fake as well. You pretend always to be nice when deep inside you is darkness you have been too afraid to explore. That darkness is your shadow self which gives you power.

Culture Of Niceness


The culture of niceness is a way to tame you. It is a way for society to neuter you. Society does not want you to ask critical questions. It does not want you to question authority and “leaders.” The culture wants you to be obedient, compliant, and do as you are told. The myth of niceness is a way to make you docile. You can then be managed by the people you are told to respect and trust unquestionably. You’re being nice muzzles you from reaching your full potential. That is precisely why society wants you to be a nice person.


The culture wants you to believe that self-interest is unnatural. When you surrender your self-interest, you allow other people to use you. Niceness is submission. The “leaders,” “experts,” and “celebrities” want you to bow to them by thinking that they are special. They want you to accept that it is alright for them to do what is needed to get what they want, but you must be friendly and defer to the people society tells you are your superiors.


[bctt tweet=”The culture of niceness prevents you from learning about your shadow self. Popular culture does not want you to meet your monster. Embrace being a disagreeable person.” username=”@secure_single”]

Disagreeable Personality Leads To Success


A disagreeable personality can lead to success. That is because you are willing to do the things that must get done to achieve your life goals. You will always find ways to improve. A disagreeable person is not afraid to cut toxic and damaging people out of their life. An unpleasant person learns to value their time.


[bctt tweet=”There is nothing wrong with being a practical person. An efficient person recognizes that disagreement is required for success.” username=”@secure_single”]

An unpleasant person is willing to do the things needed to succeed. They will develop the core habits and skills to prosper:

  • Time management
  • Organization
  • Self-mastery
  • Self-discipline
  • Money management
  • Self-education
  • Hard skills
  • Critical thinking
  • Ability to make hard decisions


There is no need to apologize. Apologies can waste your valuable time. Your choices and actions don’t need an explanation. You are willing to make hard decisions and hustle to self-actualize your goals. You acknowledge that self-interest is natural.


You Acknowledge That You Control Your Destiny

Machiavelli wrote in The Prince, Chapter 25:


“I conclude therefore that, fortune being changeful and mankind steadfast in their ways, so long as the two are in agreement men are successful, but unsuccessful when they fall out. For my part I consider that it is better to be adventurous than cautious, because fortune is a woman, and if you wish to keep her under it is necessary to beat and ill-use her; and it is seen that she allows herself to be mastered by the adventurous rather than by those who go to work more coldly. She is, therefore, always, woman-like, a lover of young men, because they are less cautious, more violent, and with more audacity command her.”


[bctt tweet=”You control your fortune. It would help if you dominated Fortuna and ruled over your future. No one else does.” username=”@secure_single”]

Society wants to tame you. It wants to manage you. You want to give the culture the bird. It would help if you became ungovernable in your quest to achieve your goals.

It would help to take things into your own hands rather than wait for things to happen. You will make your choices count when you stop believing that something outside of yourself has a plan for your life. You can take calculated risks, and being adventurous and doing things others will not do can help you rule over fortune.

You have the free will to self-direct your life. Your inner monster helps you to accept the powerful parts of the self that society wants to tame out of you. Be bold. Take control of your future.


Control, dominate, and master your future by accepting self-responsibility. You can then work to make your goals a reality.

Secure Single is now on Substack. Receive 25% off for one year on Secure Single’s Substack.

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James Bollen is the Founder and President of Secure Single. He is an entrepreneur and a content creator with the goal of helping all different types of singles to learn to thrive as a single person.
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