Being in love is one of the happiest feelings in the world, but what do you do if you aren’t in love? Many people feel left out and extremely pressured, which can lead to living a stressful life. In a study done by The Bureau of Labor Statistics, over half of the U.S. is currently not married. There really is no reason to fret. Sometimes we just happen to not be in a relationship because we simply are not ready for it, or perhaps we want to avoid being hurt by another person emotionally.


The truth is that a lot of people rush to ‘be in love,’ and entirely miss  opportunities that come later where they actually meet someone who is right for them. Relationships can be hurtful. Moreover, relationships can be toxic and demeaning if you’re not with the right person, and can overall lower your general happiness and well being.


Through, there are a lot of people in relationships that are happy. The point is that you don’t have to be in a relationship to be happy, the report discovered that some singles report the same levels of happiness as those in relationships:


“…relationships can be a source of hurt and conflict, which single people can avoid. The current research examined for whom being involved in a relationship versus being single enhances or undermines well-being by testing whether social goals moderated the link between relationship status and daily life satisfaction. In both studies, single people high in avoidance goals who strive to prevent relationship conflict and disagreements were just as happy as people involved in a relationship.”


Though, if you are still holding out, I understand. As we are all searching for someone meaningful in our lives — deep down, it’s a true human desire, to give love and be loved in return. That is  truly amazing gift you can’t buy anywhere. To help keep sanity, it is important to remember, even if you have been chronically single, that this too shall pass. Being single is a time to reflect and discover yourself before things get too wild. It is part of the process in growing up.


According to an article in, single people volunteer more, have more friends,  go out more in their neighborhoods, and even have the potential to go much further in their careers. Perks, right? The grass can only be green on your side of the fence if you just water the grass. Researcher Eric Klinenberg, American sociologist and a scholar,  found that:


“Single people are generally more social than married people. Compared with their married counterparts, single people—even the older ones—are much more likely to spend time with friends and neighbors, volunteer, attend art classes, and do other social activities. A study conducted by Cornell sociologist Erin Cornwell found that from 2000 to 2008 those over the age of 35 who lived with a spouse or partner were less likely to spend an evening socializing with friends than those who didn’t. They are driving the social renaissance of modern urban life.”


If you are still convinced that being single is a bad thing, look at it this way — because single people tend to be more social, single people are more likely to go to town and spend money at the bars and restaurants. Even buying  new outfit for a date is possible. The 2010 Consumer Expenditure survey found that the single person spent on average $34,471 annually on goods and services.


While you are still single, you can take all of the much needed alone time. You can reflect, meditate, and become prepared for the next day, week, and month with fewer distractions. Some call it,  “restorative solitude,” which can make you a more engaged person Alone time can be productive: you can read a book, start a freelance company, and even ‘Netflix and Chill.’


Forbes Magazine estimates  that there are 32 million Americans are now living alone, and that number is not only high in the United States, but also equally high in places like Europe and Japan. So you are not alone in this singleness. Not having a committed relationship can mean more time for you to spend with friends, develop your career, and meditate to have a more purposeful life. Be proud of your singleness!


Securely Single,


Danielle E. Brockman
Secure Single Blog Contributor



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Danielle has chosen to be single in her walk of life. She experienced dating in her late teens and early twenties, and had always felt each relationship was unfulfilling. To find more meaning in her life, she broke off to go down a path of self-discovery.
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