Most of us have had some relationships and trust issues in the past. These incidents could have been big or small. Losing trust can happen with friends, neighbors, lovers, partners, in our communities and even with people you’ve never met online.
Relationships and trust are part of everyone’s life
Trust needs to be the foundation of every relationship you have. Even if you’ve had a questionable family of origin and you couldn’t trust your parents or caregivers— there’s still hope!
You can create trust in your relationships by first trusting yourself
This is hard for many people when they’re not used to opening themselves up to trust. But trust starts with you. You may have not trusted yourself yet, but now is your time!
There are four words you need to have in your relationships and trust toolbox
These four words can teach you the basics of trusting yourself first. Doing this as the first step will help you trust others. Here are the four words: Hell yes! and a big fat Hell no!
When you tap into your feelings and ask your body how you feel about something you. You could get indifferent on lots of things, and you can flex on these feelings and say yes or no and still have good boundaries.
If you feel a hell yes! This is a good sign to move forward with an action
If your body tells you hell no! Then it’s good to listen to your gut in friendships and potential romantic partners.
It takes time to trust yourself. I remember a man I really liked asked me out late one night. I asked him if he could pick me up and he said He had been out drinking and couldn’t.
My body was screaming, “ hell no!” Don’t you dare meet this man out, he’s been drinking for hours? You were an afterthought. He isn’t showing you the respect you deserve.
My ego, on the other hand, was saying, “you know you like him. You can trust him. Just stuff your feelings down and walk to meet him instead. Your chemistry is so good it’ll be worth it.
When it comes to relationships and trust, you can’t trust others until you learn to trust yourself
Instead of trusting feelings, I let the non-thinking emotional and insecure parts of my brain take over. I talked myself out of trusting me.
I trusted him instead of myself. He hadn’t earned my trust yet. However, I ignored my feelings and listened to my primal brain and my body’s intuition was shut out,
I met him out and it was a big mistake. The night ended up with me being passive aggressive toward him because I was hurt and angry inside.
Not trusting your inner guidance will lead you astray in the relationships and trust department
Our budding relationship crumbled after that. It was, however, a great part of learning about who to trust first.
Now instead of listening to other peoples opinions, and persuasive chitter chatter I listen to my intuition. I know that I can trust what my body tells me because it’s always spot on.
After you get tuned into trusting yourself you can give people the space to earn your trust. You could even trust someone else enough to fall in love someday.
You don’t have to say yes when you want to say no, but you must say yes when your body says hell yes!
Lots of Love,
Dina Colada is a contributing author at Secure Single LLC. You can connect with her at DinaColada.com for loads of dating advice and profile makeovers or on Instagram.