More people today are deciding that they want to delay getting married, but there are some people who are not at all interested in dating or getting married. These singles often identify as single by choice. That means that they are comfortable being single and that they live their best life as a single individual. They do not have an urge to date to fit in to what society expects people to do. These singles are comfortable with their choice to remain single throughout their lifetime. However, since single by choice goes against what popular culture and society tells single people what they should want out of life, they are often considered to be sad individuals. Singles who have made the choice that they are comfortable remaining single recognize that there are other types of relationships. They are perfectly fine not having to walk down the aisle to get hitched. Single by choice is a viable lifestyle for people since it depends upon the decisions and preferences of each individual.

There are many different paths that people decide to walk that affects the direction of life. Life offers options. People make decisions. Those decisions influence who people become. While it is impossible to know what those important choices and decisions are for individuals, it is harmful to assume to anyone who is single by choice is sad. There is more to life than romantic relationships. Singles are a growing population and singles are known to volunteer more compared to those who are married. These singles may decide to spend their time to assist their parents as they prepare to retire and need their help later in life. These singles may decide to pursue their career and become the best professional in their field. That may lead them to decide to start their own company once they find a niche that needs to be filled to provide a product or service that people need. Many more examples could be given, but these show that there are other ways to find fulfillment in life that does not require a partner. These singles are not sad. On the contrary, they are happy with the decision that they made to remain single.

Society likes to frame decisions of individuals in black or white. This is called the false dilemma logical fallacy. Society, following that fallacy, pushes that everyone needs to date and marry their soulmate. By dating and getting married individuals are then deemed as good people. However, if someone decides that they do not want to date or get married than they are viewed as outcasts of society. Is this not problematic in a modern society that claims to be tolerant? The simpler solution is to recognize that an individual can make their own choices. In fact, an individual will make the best decision for themselves and they do not need society or an expert to help them with their choices. Since everyone is born single, everyone can decide their own future and to decide for themselves what they want it to be and who they want to be in it. This is ultimately a lifestyle choice that is dependent upon each single individual. It is time for society to truly start to respect the choices of all singles.

Single by choice is a lifestyle decision. These singles often value autonomy and flexibility most of all and they realize those qualities would be lost by getting married. These singles may also enjoy travelling alone and realize that they would face the same problem if they were married. Ultimately, it is most important to recognize that those who are single by choice are not heartbroken people. They are happy with their decision to remain single and are untroubled by the pressure that society places on them to get married. It is time for both society and people to stop falling for the false dilemma fallacy when it comes to singles not being in a relationship or not wanting to date at all.  It is time for popular culture to stop telling people that they must get married because relationship experts believe it’s the most important life choice that someone can make. It is time for all singles make the decision themselves about if they really want to be in a relationship or if they are perfectly fine with being single. If the answer is in the affirmative about enjoying all that the single life offers, than those singles are single by choice.

Views expressed in this article are the author’s opinions and do not necessarily reflect the views of Secure Single. It is intended for informational and educational purposes only. It is not investment or financial advice. James Bollen is the author of Thriving Solo: How to Flourish and Live Your Perfect Life (Without A Soulmate). Now available in paperback and for the Kindle on Amazon. Subscribe to Secure Single’s Substack for free!


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James Bollen is the Founder and President of Secure Single. He is an entrepreneur and a content creator with the goal of helping all different types of singles to learn to thrive as a single person.
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