Single During the Holidays

The holiday season is coming quickly upon us. Thanksgiving is next week. Christmas and Hanukkah are in December. And then New Year’s is on January 1, 2017. Holidays are the time of year where people in college or who are in different places across the country usually go back home to visit family. For singles, going back home over the holidays without a significant other could lead to conversations that feel like interrogations about why you do not have a boyfriend or girlfriend. Singles should remain confident of their single state throughout the holidays.

As the holidays are approaching, I have noticed on my social media feeds that people who are single are either posting for about not having a boyfriend or girlfriend or that they are on the prowl for one. To anyone with this mindset that you NEED to have a significant other to please your friends or family over this holiday, this is not true. You are the one who is responsible for your one actions, choices, and life. As someone who will be single during the holidays, I am prepared for a few questions and I also have prepared responses to these questions.

Man asking questions with hand raised

Man asking questions with hand raised

Are you interested or seeing anyone?

No, I am not seeing anyone and I am not interested in anyone either. Why is it your concern that I am not dating anyone?

You are so handsome/beautiful, why aren’t you putting yourself out there?

Right now, I am what is called single by choice. I do not want to date anyone and I am not interested in getting married. For other singles who are not single by choice, they may be in a transitional phase by either recently having gotten out of a relationship and they have decided to take a break from the dating scene. It is fine to enjoy being single, whether as a temporary single or a permanent single, why should singles always have to put themselves out there to meet someone?

Don’t worry, you will meet your soul mate one day.

The soul mate theory and the belief that there is only one person out negatively affects how people think about their date or partner. What evidence is there that soul mates exist? Why do you believe Plato’s soul mate theory?

Have you tried online dating, speed dating, or could I set you up with someone?

Yes, I tired online dating but more as a social experiment and it was not a good experience. Yes, I have done speed dating and it was a good way to meet more people in Denver, but I would not encourage it for any singles who want date. Again, I am not interested in dating. Thank you for the offer, but no.

But you will die alone!

Sure, but so will you and everyone else whether they are married or not. How will me dating or marrying someone resolve the problem of dying alone?


As the holiday season quickly comes upon the single and unmarried people of the world, be prepared with answers to your family and friends. It is alright not to date, not to have a significant other, and not to have a partner. This holiday seasons don’t let these interrogations of why you are single bring you down, but instead celebrate being single!

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James Bollen is the Founder and President of Secure Single. He is an entrepreneur and a content creator with the goal of helping all different types of singles to learn to thrive as a single person.
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