Valentine’s Day is quickly approaching. Modern Valentine’s Day celebrates everything society worships: romantic relationships, erotic love, true love, and finding the one. Those are the four things that modern Valentine’s Day celebrates today. Those historically were not associated with the holiday, but society and values change over time while some things remain the same throughout history. This Valentine’s Day it is okay for singles to give up on erotic and true love, temporarily or permanently, because there is more to life than romantic love and finding the one.

Why Singles Should Give Up On Romantic Love This Valentine’s Day

People characterize you as being a negative or a bad person if you say that you have given up on love. The follow up question that is never asked is if it is only temporary or a lifelong decision. People and society, when talking about love, mean erotic love instead of other types of love. Just because you have given up on finding true love does not mean that you have given up on all love. That is an important distinction that often is not discussed by people when the subject of love, dating, and relationships come up with family or friends. By giving up on one type of love does not mean that you are abandoning the loves of storge, phileo, and agape.

The three other types of love are forgotten in a society that places a paramount on romantic love. Singles should value their family. Storge is the love of family. Friends are important in the life of singles. Phileo is a relational and companionship love that is found in friendship. There is also agape love. Agape love is the love of charity and of sacrifice.  Love is still important for singles to have in life. There is no need for love to be erotic since it is romantic love that modern Valentine’s Day celebrates.

By refocusing on other types of love that are beneficial in life, singles will not be distracted the myths of true love and of finding a soulmate. The problem with true love is that there can only be one person who you can love. People often divorce and marry someone because they fell in love again with someone they believe that this is true love. The love that they had in the first marriage was not true love. The eternal search for true love contributes to the never ending cycle of divorce and marrying again. True love connects with finding one’s soulmate. If there is only one person who can complete you and you married the wrong person, then why shouldn’t you divorce them to find your true love? These two romantic myths are elevated by society and marketed by the media that people believe them as true without knowing the history behind the soulmate theory.

There are different types of singles. Some singles do want to date and to marry. There are others who are taking a break from relationships. There are yet others who are single by choice or who have chosen to be celibate who are not interested at all in having a romantic relationship. The singles who fall somewhere in the last two categories are the ones who should give up on love this Valentine’s Day. You should know which type of single you are and how the goal of finding romantic love fits into your life. If it does not, say no to romantic love this Valentine’s Day.

Give up on the myth of true love that directly connects to the soul mate theory singles. All you need is love. No thanks! You can love yourself, your family, your friends, and you can sacrifice your wants and needs by volunteering and serving others. Fight modern Valentine’s Day this year by celebrating other types of love and say no to romantic love.

Views expressed in this article are opinions of the author and do not necessarily reflect the views of Secure Single. James Bollen is the author of Thriving Solo: How to Flourish and Live Your Perfect Life (Without A Soulmate). Now available in paperback on Amazon. Subscribe to Secure Single’s Substack for free!
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ABOUT THE AUTHOR
James Bollen is the Founder and President of Secure Single. He is an entrepreneur and a content creator with the goal of helping all different types of singles to learn to thrive as a single person.
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