It’s wedding season, and you know what that means: funny looking bridesmaid dresses, potential hook ups, and those prodding questions about why you’re still single. Whether it be at your childhood friends wedding or your cousin from your hometown, people are going to ask. Here is a quick survival guide on how to navigate the waters when you’re single as fuck and at a wedding.


Will You Be In My Wedding?


Of course, you’re flattered, and why wouldn’t you say yes? It is such an honor to be asked to be in a wedding because it means you’ve served as an influential person to the bride or groom. You might have mixed feelings that range from feeling uncertain about why you haven’t found the one, or think there is something wrong with you. If you’re like some people, you may even feel envious. Stop – right – there. Know that there is nothing wrong with you. You’re perfect as you are, single. Married couples get divorced 50% of the time, and the majority of those who are getting married either rushed into it, forced the relationship, or found the last available man or woman. In exchange for perhaps feeling down or blue, feel proud that you’re not tied to another person for the rest of your life. Celebrate your unique individuality, while being supportive of your friend who is engaged. This is the essence of a Secure Single.


You’re Single And There Are Hot People Here


Part of the fun of being a single person is that you have the freedom to hook up with whomever you want. Just remember these three guidelines to keep it classy:

  1. Don’t hook up with someone unless all your strings are completely cut with other people. This will help avoid hurting other people’s feelings, as well as the drama that would arise from crossing the line. Also, remember to not hook up with someone who is already married as well, that would just make you out to be bad.
  2. Kissing is classy, but you might want to get to know the person before you go to home base. Yes, this means protecting your wild oats, and actually getting to know the person.
  3. If you do hook up with someone, make sure neither of you is not intoxicated. Alcohol gives us the authority to rightfully make bad decisions. If you’ve been drinking, it’s probably a good idea not to let someone take you home. Be safe, and have your friends with you to protect you.

Answering Awkward Questions


When people start to prod you about your ‘plus 1’, or the lack there of, here are some quick rebuttals to end the conversation:


Q: Who’s your +1 you’re bringing to the wedding?

A: Actualy +3, it’s me, myself, and I.


Q: Why aren’t you dating anyone?

A: People are too emotionally messed up from their childhood, and I don’t feel like dealing with emotional baggage because I’ve got my own. 


Q: What happened to that one guy/girl?

A: They turned out to be gay/straight.


Q: Seriously, you’re a catch! What gives?

A: I’m focused on my career, and my ambitions are higher than dating random people. 


Regardless of the question, be proud of yourself for making a living, having a social life with friends, and looking sexy as hell (even if you don’t feel that way, walk the walk and boost your confidence). There’s no need to be fearful of weddings when you stand in your truth, so if you’re singe go out and rock it! 


Now What?


Go out to your next wedding, have a blast, and enjoy the freedom that comes with being a strong, independent, and fulfilled single person. Forget about feeling down and out, or inadequate next to your married friends, you’ve got the power to hook up with anyone you want! Life is better when you have the power to choose, so choose to be a Secure Single.


Danielle E. Brockman is a contributing writer for Secure Single LLC.

Secure Single provides a forum for a diverse variety of perspectives, ideas, experiences, and resources and does not take official stances. All writers speak exclusively for themselves. Concurrently, any quotes, shares, reposts, interviews, etc. do not imply endorsement by Secure Single LLC or its curators. Now go live your best single life!


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Danielle has chosen to be single in her walk of life. She experienced dating in her late teens and early twenties, and had always felt each relationship was unfulfilling. To find more meaning in her life, she broke off to go down a path of self-discovery.
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