The West has a problem of idealizing romantic love, dating, and marriage. The idolization of the romantic relationship makes those who are single, unmarried, and not in a relationship feel that they are incomplete by society. The romantic love myth is perpetuated throughout society and is the norm for how people understand how relationships should work today. However, the pressure of romantic love hurts singles and devalues singles who are not in a relationship or who are single by choice. The West needs to rethink its infatuation with the romantic love myth and how the rise of singles fits in with the decline of dating and marriage.

It’s Time For Singles To Shatter The Romantic Love Myth

The West’s vision of modern romantic love transforms a significant other into a transcendent state that no human is able to accomplish to make their partner happy. This is because society’s ideals are too high and those ideals are what people have come to expect from a romantic partner. The romantic love myth promises that a significant other will make you happy, your life will become perfect with a romantic relationship, and that once you marry the one your life will become problem free. This myth, however, creates unrealistic expectations for singles who may want to date and to get married by creating a society that does not understand the purpose of meaningful relationships outside of romantic relationships.

The myth of romantic love is an issue because it raises women to expect to find their Prince Charming. While for men, the myth of romantic love tells them they must rescue a damsel in distress from the dangers of the world. After the prince rescues the damsel and they get married, they will live happily ever after. Their lives will transform from the gray haze of singledom and become full of roses, rainbows, and unicorns. The reality is quite the opposite. They will not magically experience transcendence because they found love and are no longer single. The reality is that their relationship will likely end in divorce. For those who remarry, the rate is even higher than the much reported fifty percent rate.

It is best that singles acknowledge that the romantic love myth is simply a fairy tale. By falling for the legend, it creates unrealistic expectations of a potential partner and what to expect from a human relationship and, ultimately, from marriage. Instead singles should seek out realism in the world instead of the fabricated stories that Hollywood and the media presents to people in film. It is better to remain single and to learn to enjoy being single than to fall in love with the romantic love myth.


The West had betrayed singles with the romantic love myth fetish. It has done a disservice to everyone who is single, unmarried, or married who believe the romantic love myth of finding the one and that finding true love will make them happy. Singles are happier, healthier, and have more things going for them by being single than the West may realize. It is time to dismantle the romantic love myth from its pedestal and leave all its underlying myths shattered on the ground.

Views expressed in this article are the author’s opinions and do not necessarily reflect the views of Secure Single. It is intended for informational and educational purposes only. It is not investment or financial advice. James Bollen is the author of Thriving Solo: How to Flourish and Live Your Perfect Life (Without A Soulmate). Now available in paperback and for the Kindle on Amazon. Subscribe to Secure Single’s Substack for free!
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James Bollen is the Founder and President of Secure Single. He is an entrepreneur and a content creator with the goal of helping all different types of singles to learn to thrive as a single person.
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