When you’re flying solo (whether you like it or not), you might feel like there’s a single woman stigma rolling round in your universe.
This single woman stigma and the feelings that can come up can happen to anyone and anywhere— In the office, at parties or at church. You might feel like you’re life isn’t as fabulous as your hitched up friends.
When you put your focus on any single woman stigma, you hold yourself back.
Sure your friends post their gorgeous family photos and pictures of their kids at the beach and birthday parties. Their lives look peachy-keen online and while they’re in public.
But nobody has the perfect relationship— Even if it seems like they do. Because relationships are tricky.
Many people only post the good times on their Facebook account.
Couples leave out the complaints of their husband leaving smoothie drippings on the counter in the morning, or their wife snoring so loudly it almost wakes the neighbors.
The single woman stigma you feel will only bother you if you let it and keep your focus on sad and single.
I know I don’t get invited to dinner parties that are couples-only. I’m more than OK with that. I don’t want to be like the episode of Sex In The City where all the single ladies go to a husband and wives only party. It was awkward for everybody.
Other than not getting invited to couple’s only parties, I don’t notice the single women stigma, but then again . . . I don’t let other people’s opinions about me, make me lose sleep at night.
Because I’ve thrown the single woman stigma out with the garbage, and what anyone else says about my status, well— They have to deal with it. If they don’t’ have to like it, I don’t care either way.
I’m happy skipping down the street knowing the only mess in my house is the one I made.
So when you’re single, and you don’t want to be part of the single women stigma, ignore other people’s opinions of your single life.
If you don’t get invited to a couples-only party, have your own party— A singles-only party.
I used to have them and they were fabulous! Me and all of my single friends (no couples were invited), drank wine and ate delicious food.
My best friend got together with her now-hubby.
Don’t let being a single woman stop you from being happy. If you notice yourself talking badly to yourself in your mind about your single status—
Shift your awareness to something else. Anything will do. Your breath, a smell, a taste or some good relaxing music.
Married couples that are happily satisfied with their spouse are happy because they had the right mindset before they got married. Not because marriage put them in a delightful, perfect setting with the end-all-be-all perfect man.
Putting a ring on it doesn’t make you happy if you’re currently miserable.
Even though there is plenty of current research showing that singles have great lives compared to the married couples, it doesn’t mean being single forever is an easy way to happiness, but you CAN do it.
Your mindset’s got to shift to help you let go of the single woman stigma.
It might take a little time, just keep at it.
While so many people love being single. Singles are more likely to experience heightened psychological growth than those who walked down the aisle.
Embrace your singleness and don’t take any single shaming personally.
I know my parents would love me to find a “nice man,” to live happily ever after with— But my 10 years of being mostly single have been the most enlightening time of my life.
There is plenty of time for self-reflection and working on myself.
The single woman stigma is something you allow into your life. If you notice the single woman stigma, let the feelings about it process through you, then let them go.
You can make a choice not to feel stigmatized by society and be happy living your life as it is.
Let things flow in your life and take it easy on yourself for once!
Lots of Love,
Dina Colada is a contributing author at Secure Single LLC. You can connect with her at DinaColada.com for loads of dating advice and profile makeovers or on Instagram.