Why are you single? I know you’ve heard this question before if you’ve been flying solo for a while.
You go home for the holidays, or you’re a dinner party where everyone else is coupled up. You feel yourself fighting the urge to not roll your eyes inside your head. You family and friends ask you, why are you single?
The question of why are you still single is bound to come up. Everywhere. Even though you may be happy being single, this question is exhausting. It’s especially draining if you don’t want to be single. Here are seventeen snarky responses for when you are asked, why you are single?
Why Are You Single? 17 Snarky Responses
“You’re such a catch. I don’t understand. Why are you single?”
People who ask this may be a douchebag or a well-meaning friend. Either way— It’s annoying if you hear ever.
Don’t people realize it’s none of their business that you’re still single? So what’s a single woman or man to do when they are blasted with this awkward question?
When You Hear The Words Why Are You Single, You Must Be Prepared
- I’ve been so focused on buying my condo in Hawaii I haven’t even thought about looking for someone to mooch off of me. Will you please hand me the sugar?
- I’m so in love with myself. I’m happy this way until I meet someone who lives up to my standards.
- Do you know anyone who is rich, handsome, funny, doesn’t have a beer belly, understands women, doesn’t snore, never complains, and who likes to live down there? If you do, please set me up with him.
- According to the Archives of Sexual Behavior, single people have more sex than married couples and I love having sex. Lots of it. When was the last time you had any action?
- I can’t even decide on a temporary tattoo when I’m at the beach. How do you expect me to decide on “forever?”
- Travel is important to me and I like having a boyfriend in every town I visit. You know, I’ve got moves like Jagger and don’t have any plans on slowing down.
- I love my life exactly how it is right now. How about you?
- I’ve decided to get a sperm donor and have a baby alone. I want you to be the Godmother.
- Being single is a choice and I feel confident in every choice I make.
- Giving blowjobs is not on my bucket list. Seriously.
- My single life is more interesting than any date I’ve had this year and I like to keep things interesting.
- Checking in with someone if I decide to have a drink with my friends after work is the kind of lifestyle I enjoy. I live on my own terms, not someone else’s.
- I can do whatever I want, when I want, with who I want. No questions asked.
- I’m waiting for John Snow to ask for my hand in marriage. He is the perfect man and I’ll never settle.
- My life is so fulfilled and busy I don’t have time for a significant other.
- When I meet a woman who smells like bacon then I’ll think about it.
- I stay single just so people ask me “Why are you single?” and I have a list of snarky canned responses that will embarrass them so they never ask anyone that question ever again.
Summary
Some of these responses to why are you single are a little over the top. Feel free to use them and embarrass the person who asks you this obnoxious question. A friend of mine once said, “Darlin’ good artists borrow. Great artists steal.” Help put a stop to single shaming and steal these golden responses.
Lots of Love,
Dina Colada
