You have always sold yourself short. You have allowed people to use you. You have allowed people to stomp on you. You have let people use you to their ends. You have accepted the version of yourself that people tell you.

You are weak. You are worthless. You can’t have the things that you need or want in life. You have accepted the story people have told you as true. You have made it a reality.

In doing so, you have accepted your superficial friends and society’s low standards. You can be so much more. But, you continue to sell yourself short.

Why You Always Sell Yourself Short


5 Common Problem Areas




You sell yourself short. You say to yourself that you can’t have relationships with quality people. You think you can’t date someone who is better looking or share common values. You tell yourself you can’t be friends with people you may admire. You have compromised with the people you spend time with. You have done this because it is easy.


Social Life (Real and Online)


You sell yourself short with your social life. You say to yourself that you can’t go to the places where you want to go because you don’t know the right people or you can’t afford to go to the hot new lounge.


You cannot hang around the type of people you want to spend time with because you have allowed others to control your social life. You may also have set limitations for yourself for what your social life can look like. In doing so, you have chosen to narrow your social life.


You allow your entertainment to control you. You don’t handle it. Your devices control you, and you don’t control them. You waste your time on your smartphone. You think it is all just in good fun.




You sell yourself short on your health. You continue to eat processed foods. You eat junk food. You go through the drive-thru. You know you need to improve your diet, but you never have.


You know you must go on a diet, but you never have. Or, maybe you did for a few days before you quit because you lacked self-discipline.


You make excuses for why you can’t make it to the gym. You know you are overweight, but you have accepted it.




You sell yourself short when it comes to your lifestyle. You don’t have the lifestyle you want because you have succumbed to limiting beliefs. Society indoctrinates people with these self-limiting beliefs from birth. You say you “can’t do this or that.”




You sell yourself short when it comes to managing your finances. You may be in debt. You may be able to save money each month for a rainy day or FU Fund. You may have a different net worth than you want. You may not invest because you don’t have enough income each month. You think you are stuck with your finances, but there are always solutions.


5 Solutions To Stop Selling Yourself Short




You can start to develop self-confidence. Confidence is essential, and self-confidence will help you in relationships with friends, family, business, and especially romantic relationships.


[bctt tweet=”Self-confidence is attractive, and it is sexy.” username=”@secure_single”]


You can start to become more self-confident by beginning to stand up for yourself. Stop being nice to everyone. Stand your ground. Stand up for yourself. Start to tell people “no.” You are in control of your relationships. You determine the people who are in your life. You choose who your friends, business partners, and romantic interests are. No one else. You do.


Social Life (Real and Online)


Go to the places where the people you want to know to spend their time. Where do the people you want to network with and talk to spend their time? If you are into computers and technology, look at a place focusing more on technology. If you are into business, you can find networking opportunities for small business owners in your town. You may also meet the more well-heeled people at the medium to higher-end restaurants and bars where you live.


You can start limiting your time watching television, Netflix, Amazon Prime, YouTube Premium, et cetera. Limit how much entertainment you allow yourself to watch. You can stop having your phone next to you at all times. Leave it in a safe place. It is not going anywhere. Delete any apps that you don’t use. This will free up memory on your device while making you more productive. You will only keep the apps you need on your phone or computer.


[bctt tweet=”Turn off the television. Unsubscribe from YouTube channels. Turn off your phone. Take back your life!” username=”@secure_single”]



You can start by eliminating any junk food from your diet: processed and fast foods. You can begin to follow a healthy diet. There is no perfect diet, and everyone’s body is unique and different. People follow specific diets for their reasons. Some popular diets include the carnivore, Keto, Mediterranean, Atkins, vegetarian, and vegan.


Exercise. You can go for a short walk each day. You can make a point to get outside, so you leave your apartment or house. You can go to the gym. You can start by working to lose a little weight. You can also set a goal to have a six-pack in a year. You may want to get ready for bikini season.


[bctt tweet=”No matter the reason, you will look and feel better once you pay attention to your health. You will then become more confident.” username=”@secure_single”]



You may not be able to afford or live the lifestyle you want to now, but you can work to make the changes so that one day you can. You can learn the skills to help you get into the circles you want to be around. If you are entrepreneurial, you can discover ways to network with successful entrepreneurs. You may want to travel, and you can plan a solo travel trip. You can find Facebook groups to talk to people who live where you want to visit. You may want to upgrade your social class in society. You will then need to discover ways to bring in more money. Today, there are many ways to do that, from side hustles to starting an online business.




It would be best if you started by being able to follow a budget. You need to know how much money has left your bank account each month and year. There are two main budgeting strategies; you can decide which works best.


The most prevalent version is the 50/30/20 budget. Fifty percent of your income goes toward your needs, and thirty percent goes towards your wants—twenty percent you save.


The second budgeting strategy is the 60/30/10 budget. The first sixty percent goes toward paying off all your bills and necessities, which are your needs to live. The next thirty percent is divided into ten percent for each: house projects, investing, and saving. This allows you to invest a small amount of money into whatever you consider an investment.


An investment is more than just investing in the stock market. It could be in self-education. It could be in learning a new skill. It could be putting money into a business to grow it. The final ten percent you put into your savings account. The final ten percent you save.

In the last ten percent of the 60/30/10 budget, you save five percent of your currency, commonly called money, into gold and silver. Why do you do this? The Federal Reserve is devaluing your currency. The dollar has lost much of its value over time to currency devaluation. You want to exchange your fiat money for real gold and silver. Gold and silver are also important ways to preserve the wealth you may plan to pass on to your children and grandchildren. The currency may one day go to zero. Your stocks may crash. Your business may go under. Precious metals, particularly gold, are a form of monetary insurance.


It would help if you started to have your money work for you instead of you always working for your money. You may currently be trading your time for money. You can find ways to make extra money along with your main job by taking on a side hustle. You can find ways to make passive income. You could turn your passion into profit. You are the only person holding yourself back.

[bctt tweet=”The Internet has allowed ordinary people to leave their regular jobs. There are many creative ways to make passive income today with the Internet.” username=”@secure_single”]

You can learn about investing. You can make smart investments in assets that may increase in value. Every type of investment comes with some degree of risk. You are not guaranteed to make money, and you may lose money.

Views expressed in this article are the author’s opinions and do not necessarily reflect the views of Secure Single. It is intended for informational and educational purposes only. It is not investment or financial advice. James Bollen is the author of Thriving Solo: How to Flourish and Live Your Perfect Life (Without A Soulmate). Now available in paperback and for the Kindle on Amazon. Subscribe to Secure Single’s Substack for free!
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James Bollen is the Founder and President of Secure Single. He is an entrepreneur and a content creator with the goal of helping all different types of singles to learn to thrive as a single person.
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