The magical other goes by many names: soulmate, oneitis, and twin flames. Today, I will be debunking the myth of the magical other.

Debunking The Myth Of The Magical Other

First, it is statistically impossible that there is a magical other. There are currently over 8 billion people on the Earth. That means for the magical other to find the person who is their soulmate is a minuscule number that is not even a rounding error. Statistics alone debunk the soulmate myth.

Second, the magical other would have to be predetermined for you from birth. It would necessitate that “the one” would recognize you when you are in the same room together. That is just a cheesy scene from romantic comedy and romance books. It does not happen in real life.

Third, for the magical other to work, you must be able to meet each other. The magical other may not even live in the same town, city, or country where you live. The magical other may live in another country on the other side of the globe. You may never visit that country. Many people never leave their home country of birth.

Fourth, for the concept of the magical other to work, it would require that you both share enough interests. Without any mutual interests, there is no way that you would ever meet the magical other. Just because you may be attracted to someone does not mean you share similar interests. Two people must have enough in common to want to commit to dating and later marriage.

Finally, the magical other may not speak your language. The magical other may not find you sexually attractive. The magical other may have no interest in you. If the person supposed to be your magical other has no interest in you, then the soulmate myth makes no sense.

The soulmate myth and the concept of the magical other is a fairytale. Disney has popularized it. Many people want to believe that true love exists and that a magical person exists for them.

I grew up watching The Princess Bride. The movie portrayed the concept of true love as super romantic. The Princess Bride also told viewers that there was one person for them. They found each other. Went through a time of separation and challenges. They then rode off into the sunset with their magical other. That is the world of Hollywood and romance novels. It is not real life.

There is no one person for you. The only person for you is you. It is up to you to take action every day by investing in yourself.

Invest In Yourself

Decide to invest in yourself rather than worrying about a magical other. Invest in honing your skills, fixing problems, and increasing your income. There is no need to pursue romantic relationships. Focusing on yourself and getting your life in order is the best choice. That requires practicing self-responsibility.

Take responsibility for your life. Avoid romantic relationships and know a magical other does not exist. Set and reach goals. Become the best version of yourself. It is up to you to live the life you want.

Secure Single recommends:


The magical other is a way to keep singles distracted from improving themselves. Romantic relationships distract people from reaching their full potential. Invest in yourself. Overcome challenges. Become the person you want to be. Thrive as a single person!

Views expressed in this article are the author’s opinions and do not necessarily reflect the views of Secure Single. It is intended for informational and educational purposes only. James Bollen is the author of Thriving Solo: How to Flourish and Live Your Perfect Life (Without A Soulmate). Now available in paperback and for the Kindle on Amazon. Subscribe to Secure Single’s Substack for free!
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James Bollen is the Founder and President of Secure Single. He is an entrepreneur and a content creator with the goal of helping all different types of singles to learn to thrive as a single person.
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