Sex is an integral part of human life, but it has become overly idolized in society. It is time to take back control of your life and embrace a sexless lifestyle. Here are ten compelling reasons why you should consider this option.
The Empowerment Of Choosing A Sexless Lifestyle
No Distractions Or Addictions
Are you tired of being distracted by romantic and erotic relationships? These relationships can take away your valuable time, energy, and attention. And what if the relationship doesn’t work out? You are left with even more pain and heartache.
But guess what? You don’t have to be in a relationship if you’re not ready or don’t want to be. Choosing to live a sexless life can do wonders for your self-improvement journey. Without the distractions or addictions of romantic relationships, you can focus on yourself, your goals, and your passions.
So, take control of your life and say no to these distractions. Choose to prioritize self-improvement by living a sexless life, either temporarily or permanently. It’s time to focus on what really matters – you.
Internal Validation
Internal validation and external validation are two opposing concepts. External validation relies on being validated by others, such as receiving likes and followers on social media or owning the latest trendy product.
On the other hand, internal validation is about goal-setting and working hard to achieve them. Accomplishing these goals helps build self-confidence, a crucial aspect of personal success.
Goal Setting
Setting goals is critical to measuring success. You can use the SMART goals system. The acronym stands for:
- Specific
- Measurable
- Achievable
- Relevant
- Time-bound
Following this strategy makes you more likely to accomplish your goals.
Self-Discipline
Self-discipline is crucial for a fulfilling life. Practicing self-discipline and avoiding distractions like social media, sex, news, or politics is vital for your well-being.
Taking responsibility for your actions and being mindful of your decisions can positively impact you. Every decision you make has the potential to affect us positively or negatively. You must practice discipline and act intentionally to achieve your goals.
Self-Control
Self-control is useful when controlling your urges and reaching your goals. Learning self-control is essential, not letting sex or romantic relationships control your life. Instead of engaging in constant dating, watching porn every night, or browsing cam sites regularly, it’s best to practice self-control.
By practicing self-control, you can use your valuable time and attention better and channel them towards achieving your goals.
Self-Learning
Self-learning is critical to achieving personal success. The education system teaches you how to be a good employee but does not teach you critical thinking and life skills.
Self-education is power. You can continue to dive as deep into a topic you want to learn more about. Today, you watch videos, read blog articles, or purchase a digital course on a topic.
Only education with application is valuable. What you are teaching yourself must improve your life in some way. Self-study is the best way to learn applicable skills. You know the skills you need to learn to advance your career, switch fields, or raise your income.
Discover Your Obsession
Instead of fixating on someone of the opposite sex, take some time to discover your true obsession. Your obsession is likely what you are meant to do, giving you a sense of inner peace and purpose when engaging in it.
Once you have identified your obsession, focus on developing the skills related to it and turning it into a career.
Master Your Skills
Discovering your skills in your twenties is crucial to achieving success. Distractions may lead you to believe you can do something you’re not proficient at, but this will only waste your valuable time and delay your income.
For instance, I began a YouTube channel to make money online from advertising revenue. However, I lack the charisma and fun personality necessary to succeed on video platforms. After making a few hundred videos, I accepted that I am better at creating written content than video content. Know and play to your strengths and learn from your mistakes.
Mastering a core skill in something you enjoy doing is the key to success. Expanding to complementary skills only enhances your abilities, making you more valuable in the job market. Having multiple skills in the same niche keeps you on the path to excellence, and it is a sure way to stand out from the crowd.
Increase Your Income
It is essential to constantly work on increasing your income. The money you earn loses its value each month due to inflation. Even at a low rate of 2% inflation, you are losing money. Over a year, your money loses 24% due to compounding inflation.
More than saving money is needed as inflation eats away at your money. To combat this, you must find ways to raise your yearly income. Some options are investing in the stock market, becoming a landlord, purchasing a house (as long as the market does not fall), or starting an online business. You can even combine these options, such as investing in the stock market and reinvesting profits to start an online business.
If functioning correctly, a business can generate a higher return on investment than certain stocks. However, you must determine how to monetize your business by selling products or services.
By combining investments with a business, you have a greater chance of betting on the actual inflation rate. Any income you make beyond the inflationary rate can help you build wealth, which you can reinvest into other asset classes.
To build personal wealth: invest, reinvest, and repeat. Once you have wealth, preserve it.
Freedom
Investing time and money in dating might be tempting if you are single. However, you could be missing out on the freedom of being single. Embrace this freedom to focus on yourself, achieve your goals, and become the best version of yourself without any distractions.
With the freedom of being single, you can spend quality time with friends, family, and your community. You can also learn how to use your professional connections to advance your career or grow your business.
Remember your health. Focusing on fitness and nutrition can make you happier, healthier, and more confident.
By directing your time, attention, and energy toward your personal and professional goals, you can make them a reality. Additionally, wisely invest your finances to build wealth and secure your future.
The choice is yours—will you take advantage of this freedom or waste it on another bad romantic relationship?
Remember, improving yourself and achieving your goals is always possible. Make the most of your single life and become the best version of yourself.
Summary
Living a sexless lifestyle can help you achieve success. By practicing self-control, you can channel your energy into accomplishing great things. Don’t let societal pressures dictate your life. Take control and invest in yourself.
The views expressed in this article are the author’s opinions and do not necessarily reflect the views of Secure Single. It is intended for informational and educational purposes only and is not investment, financial, or legal advice. Consult with a financial or legal professional before making investment or legal decisions. James Bollen is the author of Thriving Solo: How to Flourish and Live Your Perfect Life (Without A Soulmate). It is now available in paperback and Kindle on Amazon.
How often do you go grocery shopping alone? Here is the ultimate guide to how to grocery shop for one!
How To Grocery Shop For One
Never Go Grocery Shopping Hungry
One great rule to follow when grocery shopping is to avoid going to the store on an empty stomach. Why? You may purchase more food than necessary or buy pre-made meals from the store’s deli section. The result is that you could spend more money than you would if you had gone to the store after eating a proper meal.
Shopping List
Bringing a shopping list when you go grocery shopping or run errands is always a good idea. A shopping list is a valuable tool that can help you save money. Your shopping list should include all the items you need to buy at the store.
I use a shopping list app on my phone whenever I go shopping. This way, I can remember what I am buying and avoid buying something I do not need.
Follow A Budget
Learning money management skills is essential. Following a budget is one of the best ways to achieve that. For instance, setting a monthly grocery budget is an excellent way to manage your finances. You can then divide the monthly budget into weekly portions to determine how much you can spend each week.
Following a budget helps you learn to spend your money wisely at the store. Additionally, a budget enables you to develop self-discipline in managing your finances.
Use A Basket
You can opt for a shopping basket instead of a shopping cart at the grocery store’s entrance. The shopping basket helps limit the number of items you can purchase while shopping.
Keep Portions Small
Keep your portion size small. This makes meals more manageable cooking for oneself. Smaller portion sizes help to decrease food waste and gain weight.
Shop Sales
Shopping sales can help you to save extra money. You can substitute a brand or an item on your list for the one on sale.
For example, if you were planning to buy canned beans and the pinto beans were on sale, you could buy those. If there is a sale on a specific type of meat or vegetables when you go to the store, you could buy what is on discount rather than what is on your grocery list.
Another way to save extra money is by purchasing the store brand rather than the name brand
Pay With Cash Or A Debit Card
When you shop for groceries, you are most often making a small purchase. There is no reason to put minor purchases on a credit card. It is best to pay with cash or a debit card for groceries and other small items.
Use Coupons
If you want to save extra cash at the grocery store, using coupons is a fantastic option. You can get discounts on the items you need. Couponing is also an intelligent way to make your budget go further.
So why not try it and see how much you can save? Remember, there’s nothing wrong with using coupons!
Shop The Perimeter Of The Grocery Store
Did you know that fresh produce and meat are usually found around the store’s perimeter when you shop at a grocery store? Sticking to the outside aisles allows you to find various fresh and nutritious meal options.
On the other hand, processed and canned foods tend to be located toward the center of the store. So, next time you are at the grocery store, consider shopping the perimeter for healthier options to nourish your body.
Freeze Your Leftovers
If you have any leftovers, it is a good idea to freeze them. Remember to write the best-by date when storing food in the container or freezer bag. Additionally, you can put a sticker on the food in your refrigerator that indicates when it will expire.
These simple steps can help you better track your leftovers and avoid wasting food.
Summary
These are ten strategies for grocery shopping for one person. Cooking for oneself can save money and is also a valuable life skill.
Is there a strategy that you use when you go grocery shopping? Let me know in the comments.
The views expressed in this article are the author’s opinions and do not necessarily reflect the views of Secure Single. It is intended for informational and educational purposes only and is not investment, financial, or legal advice. Consult with a financial or legal professional before making investment or legal decisions. James Bollen is the author of Thriving Solo: How to Flourish and Live Your Perfect Life (Without A Soulmate). It is now available in paperback and for the Kindle on Amazon.
Dating apps are now mainstream. There are dating apps for almost every kink, interest, and profession type. Unfortunately, dating apps can be dangerous. The ‘suspicious’ deaths of eight Americans in Colombia are connected to dating apps.
‘Suspicious’ Deaths Of Eight Americans In Colombia Connected To Dating Apps
BBC reports that the “US embassy in Bogota said some victims were drugged after meeting people on these [dating] apps.” The US Embassy in Bogota, Colombia, released a statement saying, “ [the] U.S. Embassy Bogota is aware of eight suspicious deaths of private U.S. citizens in Medellin between November 1 and December 31, 2023. The deaths appear to involve either involuntary drugging overdose or are suspected homicides. At this time, it is not believed these deaths are linked as each involved distinct circumstances, however several of the deaths point to possible drugging, robbery, and overdose, and several involve the use of online dating applications.”
Dating Apps Have Become A Tool For Criminal Activity
The US Embassy in Bogota reports, “Numerous U.S. citizens in Colombia have been drugged, robbed, and even killed by their Colombian dates.”
Dating apps have become a tool for criminals to create a honeypot for a potential victim. It is a simple strategy. Post a picture of an attractive woman on popular dating apps. Men swipe.
It is unknown how many crimes are committed using this honeypot strategy to lure victims with dating apps. However, the number is estimated to be higher than the recorded numbers by the US Embassy in Colombia.
Steps To Stay Safe Using Dating Apps
Always meet in a public area. Ensure you vet and look up the person you are chatting with to verify their identity. Check their social media profiles to ensure that a person’s pictures and job match what they list. Finally, know that there is no reason to use dating apps. They are just another way to waste time.
However, some singles may enjoy using apps to hook up with people in their home country and abroad. You are responsible for your safety. Know that there are many fake profiles and bots and that dating apps are now a tool for criminals.
Enjoy Being Single
There is nothing wrong with being single. Single people can still enjoy friendship, community, and relationships. There is more to life than romantic love.
Singles can use their singlehood to invest in themselves and to improve their financial situation.
Summary
Be wary of using dating apps at home and abroad. Criminals know that they can use popular apps to get someone alone. They can then drug or kill the person. Remember, safety first. Be smart, and don’t let your sex drive result in your demise.
Views expressed in this article are the author’s opinions and do not necessarily reflect the views of Secure Single. It is intended for informational and educational purposes only. It is not investment or financial advice. James Bollen is the author of Thriving Solo: How to Flourish and Live Your Perfect Life (Without A Soulmate). Now available in paperback and for the Kindle on Amazon. Subscribe to Secure Single’s Substack for free!
Being single is a time to invest in oneself. A critical aspect of focusing on oneself is self-development. Here is a look at the connection between single life and self-development.
Connection Between The Single Life And Self-Development
The single is a time to work on oneself. It is a time to become the best version of yourself. It does not matter why you may be single or if you want to date or marry eventually. Self-work allows you to reach your goals or prepare for a relationship later. There are three critical areas that singles can focus on.
Personal Finance
Money management is critical. Money is used every day. Even if you do not spend money, it could be compounding to earn interest or increase the debt owed. It is critical to get one’s finances in order. Many Americans are in debt. This is because many were never taught the basics of personal finance. I had to learn personal finance on my own. It was never taught to me in school. The three basics of personal finance are:
• Stay out of debt
• Save money
• Invest money
Debt
If you have debt, there are two main strategies to pay it off: snowball or avalanche. With the snowball method, pay off the smallest debt first. In contrast, with the avalanche method, you pay the debt with the highest interest rates. The advantage of the avalanche strategy is that the debts with the highest interest rates will compound the fastest, which means you will have to pay more later. By tackling them first, they get paid off first. With both methods, you will pay the minimum each month unless you have an extra month to pay off the debt.
Savings Account
Work to save money. Two ways to grow savings is to put a portion of each paycheck into a high-yield savings account or a money market account. The initial first goal is to build an emergency fund. $10,000 is the first goal to create a rainy day fund in a money market or high-yield savings account. Aim to continue to build up your savings. After enough money is saved, begin to invest money.
Investments
Investing is finding ways to make your money work for you. Ways to invest include starting an online business, the stock market, and real estate. Once you have income from one investment, reinvest it into another asset class. This will allow you to be diversified among many types of financial assets. Some may do poorly during times that others do well.
Relationships
Relationships are vital to one’s health. Relationships do not have to be romantic. A variety of relationships can help you grow as an individual.
Friendship
Friends can help in your self-development. The people you surround yourself with will often have similar interests and be like-minded. To be successful, you must surround yourself with other successful people.
Family
Spend time with your family. Not everyone gets along with their family, including estranged families, but you are connected by blood and genealogy.
Community
Community Find a community that you enjoy spending time with where you live. A community is built around you. You are the one who chooses who is in your network. It could include casual acquaintances from church, a bar, or a monthly event in your area.
Self-Development
Self-Discipline
Self-discipline plays a critical role in one’s success. Time management connects with self-discipline. Without discipline, you will be distracted by many things that prevent you from reaching your goals.
A time management strategy I use is to do the tasks I do not enjoy in the morning: emails, phone calls, and running errands. Those are smaller tasks. I then work on busy tasks: writing a blog post, writing a Substack post, or posting a video on YouTube. The busy work helps me to reach a larger goal. A bigger goal could be working to self-publish another book, create a digital course, or find some way to increase income.
Self-Responsibility
Self-responsibility, along with discipline, is foundational to success. By accepting responsibility, you recognize that you are responsible for your choices and the consequences of your decisions. Good and bad.
Goal-Setting
Set goals. Without something to aim for, it is easy to waste time. It is easy to make excuses. An objective gives you something to aim for. When you complete a small, medium, or large goal, celebrate!
Secure Single recommends:
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A Record-High Number Of 40-Year-Olds Have Never Married
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15 Habits To Build Wealth For Singles
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Revealed: 10 Reasons Why People Do Not Like Therapists
Summary
These are three core ways that singles can focus on personal development. There is nothing wrong with being single. Use your time being single to become the best version of yourself!
Views expressed in this article are the author’s opinions and do not necessarily reflect the views of Secure Single. It is intended for informational and educational purposes only. It is not investment or financial advice. James Bollen is the author of Thriving Solo: How to Flourish and Live Your Perfect Life (Without A Soulmate). Now available in paperback and for the Kindle on Amazon. Subscribe to Secure Single’s Substack for free!
A record high number of forty-year-olds have never married. People are continuing to stay single longer or put off marriage altogether. This demographic trend in motion currently shows no sign of stopping.
A Record-High-Number Of 40-Years Olds Have Never Married
Statista reports, “A quarter of 40-year-olds in the United States have never been married, according to an analysis of U.S. Census Bureau data by the Pew Research Center. This marks the highest figure since the data first started being published back in 1900, and a major leap from the 6 percent low of 1980.”
Source: Statista, Chart: Record-High Number of U.S. 40-Year Olds Have Never Married.
I recorded a similar statistic in my book when I discussed the rising single demographics in the United States and worldwide. The demographic direction is the new normal.
Common Reasons
Common reasons people stay single longer include the rising cost of living, being unable to own a first home, and the loss of good-paying jobs.
Young people are told they must go to college. They end up with student loan debt. People then have a difficult time being able to get started in life.
Add on all the different types of debt that many people become accustomed to from a young age:
- Student loans
- Auto loans
- Mortgage
- Medical debt
- Credit card debt
It has become more difficult for younger people to get started in life. The American Dream is dead if there was even an American Dream. The financialization of the global economy created the everything bubble. The everything bubble has made everything more expensive. People can’t get by unless they make six figures or more each year. If a person cannot afford to get by on their own, they won’t consider getting married. It is just common sense.
Things People Are Not Allowed To Talk About
There are a few controversial reasons why people no longer want to marry. Women have been empowered through feminism. Single women are told that they can do everything on their own. The modern woman is an empowered woman. There is no reason for her to marry or to become a housewife when she can work at a job just like men always have.
There is no reason to be associated with a man. Men are deemed to be toxic and stupid. That is a standard message sent in modern television shows and Hollywood. Is it any wonder why men are choosing to go their own way? Women do not want to be with men. Society portrays men as useless. This is one reason why the men that are able are giving up on Western women.
The family has been destroyed because of government programs, feminism, divorce, and alimony. A man can get destroyed if he marries a woman who decides to divorce him later.
Secure Single recommends:
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Has Cybersex Replaced Real Sex?
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12 Reasons Why Young People Should Not Go To College
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Conclusion
It is no surprise that there is a record number of 40-year-olds who are not married. These demographics are a trend in motion. People remain single longer due to the standard and negative reasons listed above.
Views expressed in this article are the author’s opinions and do not necessarily reflect the views of Secure Single. It is intended for informational and educational purposes only. It is not investment or financial advice. James Bollen is the author of Thriving Solo: How to Flourish and Live Your Perfect Life (Without A Soulmate). Now available in paperback and for the Kindle on Amazon. Subscribe to Secure Single’s Substack for free!
Are you trying to come up with a New Year resolution for next year? Here are twenty-four New Year resolutions for 2024!
24 New Year Resolutions For 2024
1. Review your credit card bill every month.
2. Pay off any debt.
3. Live below your means.
4. Build an emergency fund.
5. Save for retirement or semi-retirement.
6. Save some money in a money market fund.
7. Save money in a high-interest savings account.
8. Invest money in a 401(k).
9. Invest money in a Roth IRA.
10. Stop keeping up with other people.
11. Work to build one passive income stream.
12. Start an online business.
13. Walk more.
14. Go to the gym.
15. Choose a diet to follow.
16. Learn to cook.
17. Invest in yourself.
18. Practice time management.
19. Embrace self-discipline.
20. Practice self-responsibility.
21. Turn off the news, social media, politics, television, and limit the amount of entertainment you consume.
22. Read more books.
23. Do not date for a year.
24. Stop comparing yourself to other people.
Views expressed in this article are the author’s opinions and do not necessarily reflect the views of Secure Single. It is intended for informational and educational purposes only. It is not investment or financial advice. James Bollen is the author of Thriving Solo: How to Flourish and Live Your Perfect Life (Without A Soulmate). Now available in paperback and for the Kindle on Amazon. Subscribe to Secure Single’s Substack for free!
Do you need to date? Why not invest in yourself? Why not save money to reach your goals? Here are five ways how being single can save you money.
How Being Single Can Save You Money
Do Not Need To Pay For Dates
There is no need to pay for dates. Dates can range from cheap to expensive. It will depend on your budget and your interest in the other person.
Not dating puts more money into your pocket. You can then save or invest that money.
Time
Staying single and not dating saves you time. Rather than focusing on getting validation from another person, learn to value each moment. Spending time with a significant other or other people is unnecessary.
Solitude helps with creativity, Solitude improves productivity. Solitude can help to reach goals. It just requires you to begin to value your time. Spend your time investing in yourself to find ways to increase your income.
Attention
Be careful of who and what gets your attention. Direct your attention to work on yourself. A significant other can take away your attention. That attention could be better spent on investing in yourself.
There is nothing wrong with not directing your attention to date. You may not be ready to date. Or you may have no interest in dating. It is fine either way. There is nothing wrong with focusing on yourself.
Start to invest in yourself by beginning to know yourself. Knowing one’s strengths and weaknesses is better than always pursuing the next romantic relationship.
Your attention is valuable. Treat it like the critical commodity that it is. Pay attention to who and what gets your attention. Dedicate your attention to self-improvement and learning about personal finance.
Energy
Planning dates and activities with a significant other can take a lot of energy. This also applies to friendships. For introverted people like me, spending with people can be exhausting.
Make a point of getting the most difficult tasks done in the morning. When you have the most energy during the day, direct it to work towards goals that you want to accomplish.
Spend your energy finding ways to build passive income streams instead of finding a significant other.
Invest Money
Rather than spending money on dates or going out, invest money. Investing is about growing money. It is a way to make your money work for you. Common types of investments are the stock market, real estate, and businesses.
Figure out what your strengths are. Find ways to make an income from those skills. Then, direct the income toward an investment. Make it a goal to build passive income streams.
Secure Single recommends:
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An Introduction To Online Safety For Single Women
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Debunking The Myth Of The Magical Other
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15 Habits To Build Wealth For Singles
Summary
There is nothing wrong with being single. Being single can help you to save money. It is a time to learn about oneself. Being single is a time to focus on self-improvement, personal finance, and to become the best version of yourself.
Views expressed in this article are the author’s opinions and do not necessarily reflect the views of Secure Single. It is intended for informational and educational purposes only. It is not investment or financial advice. James Bollen is the author of Thriving Solo: How to Flourish and Live Your Perfect Life (Without A Soulmate). Now available in paperback and for the Kindle on Amazon. Subscribe to Secure Single’s Substack for free!
The Internet has created many benefits, such as allowing people to create their own online businesses and build passive income. The negative side of the Internet is that it has made it easier to stalk, dox, and take photos online. Cyber safety is especially a concern for women. Here is an introduction to online safety for single women.
An Introduction To Online Safety For Single Women
What Is Online Safety?
Online security requires ensuring your digital identity and information are posted or available online. It includes highly technical skills, such as white hat hacking and awareness of what you post online. As the Internet connects more people today, people can access a wide range of information. For single women, cyber harassment ranges from cyberstalking to inappropriate use of photos online.
Facebook And Instagram (Meta)
Facebook, now called Meta, became popular because it became a place for people to connect and share what was going on in their lives. That also meant that people shared their locations, videos, and photos.
Limit who you allow to see your posts, from text to photos. Turning your account private will give you the most privacy. You can then decide who can share your posts outside of your Facebook friends.
For Twitter, set your account to private. Another option is limiting the number of people who can respond to your tweet. The three possibilities are that anyone can reply, only the people you follow, or you may mention in a Tweet.
LinkedIn is a professional social media network. It combines a media feed with professional networking. LinkedIn allows you to change the visibility of your email address. This will help prevent people from soliciting your emails if they are publicly available. LinkedIn also allows users to make their accounts private. The account will then only be able to be viewed by LinkedIn users who are logged in rather than being found on the Internet if someone searches your name.
Protecting Photos Online
Photos and videos can be downloaded if they are publicly available online. Turn the settings to private or delete them on social media accounts.
EXIF Data
Data is in everything. That is true of the photos that you take with your phone. EXIF data includes the following after a picture is taken:
- Where the photo was taken.
- The time the photo was taken.
- The camera setting used on the camera when a photo was taken.
- The device name
- The serial number of the camera
You can read this article by How-To Geek to learn how to remove EXIF and geotagging information from your photos.
Solutions
Limit or do not post photos or videos online. That may be difficult, though, if you are an influencer.
Do not share the actual location of where you live or your location when you are out, and do not check in on apps. If you decide to post pictures or videos, remove the EXIF and geotagging data.
Only interact with people you have built trust with. Be careful of the images, videos, and content you share online. It will likely be there forever, and traces may still be found even if deleted.
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5 Reasons For The Growing Lack Of Self-Confidence In Young People
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Debunking The Myth Of The Magical Other
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Summary
The Internet has many great uses, but one of its significant downsides, especially for single women, is cyberstalking and being sexually harassed online. This is just an introduction for single women on online safety. Single women can research and learn more about the technical aspects of online safety and cybersecurity from specialized websites.
Views expressed in this article are the author’s opinions and do not necessarily reflect the views of Secure Single. It is intended for informational and educational purposes only. It is not financial advice. James Bollen is the author of Thriving Solo: How to Flourish and Live Your Perfect Life (Without A Soulmate). Now available in paperbackand for the Kindle on Amazon. Subscribe to Secure Single’s Substack for free!
The magical other goes by many names: soulmate, oneitis, and twin flames. Today, I will be debunking the myth of the magical other.
Debunking The Myth Of The Magical Other
First, it is statistically impossible that there is a magical other. There are currently over 8 billion people on the Earth. That means for the magical other to find the person who is their soulmate is a minuscule number that is not even a rounding error. Statistics alone debunk the soulmate myth.
Second, the magical other would have to be predetermined for you from birth. It would necessitate that “the one” would recognize you when you are in the same room together. That is just a cheesy scene from romantic comedy and romance books. It does not happen in real life.
Third, for the magical other to work, you must be able to meet each other. The magical other may not even live in the same town, city, or country where you live. The magical other may live in another country on the other side of the globe. You may never visit that country. Many people never leave their home country of birth.
Fourth, for the concept of the magical other to work, it would require that you both share enough interests. Without any mutual interests, there is no way that you would ever meet the magical other. Just because you may be attracted to someone does not mean you share similar interests. Two people must have enough in common to want to commit to dating and later marriage.
Finally, the magical other may not speak your language. The magical other may not find you sexually attractive. The magical other may have no interest in you. If the person supposed to be your magical other has no interest in you, then the soulmate myth makes no sense.
The soulmate myth and the concept of the magical other is a fairytale. Disney has popularized it. Many people want to believe that true love exists and that a magical person exists for them.
I grew up watching The Princess Bride. The movie portrayed the concept of true love as super romantic. The Princess Bride also told viewers that there was one person for them. They found each other. Went through a time of separation and challenges. They then rode off into the sunset with their magical other. That is the world of Hollywood and romance novels. It is not real life.
There is no one person for you. The only person for you is you. It is up to you to take action every day by investing in yourself.
Invest In Yourself
Decide to invest in yourself rather than worrying about a magical other. Invest in honing your skills, fixing problems, and increasing your income. There is no need to pursue romantic relationships. Focusing on yourself and getting your life in order is the best choice. That requires practicing self-responsibility.
Take responsibility for your life. Avoid romantic relationships and know a magical other does not exist. Set and reach goals. Become the best version of yourself. It is up to you to live the life you want.
Secure Single recommends:
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10 Reasons For Single Men To Avoid Dating Women During The Holiday Season
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Leave Romantic Relationships Behind
Summary
The magical other is a way to keep singles distracted from improving themselves. Romantic relationships distract people from reaching their full potential. Invest in yourself. Overcome challenges. Become the person you want to be. Thrive as a single person!
Views expressed in this article are the author’s opinions and do not necessarily reflect the views of Secure Single. It is intended for informational and educational purposes only. James Bollen is the author of Thriving Solo: How to Flourish and Live Your Perfect Life (Without A Soulmate). Now available in paperback and for the Kindle on Amazon. Subscribe to Secure Single’s Substack for free!
Should single men date? Society wants men to feel pressure from women to date and marry. This is especially true with cuffing season, which happens during the holidays. There are more critical things men can work on rather than seeking out a romantic relationship. Here are ten reasons for single men to avoid dating women during the holiday season.
10 Reasons For Single Men To Avoid Dating Women During The Holiday Season
Learn Game
Single men can learn game. It is then up to men to decide the relationships they want to pursue. It could be one-night stands or get into a more serious relationship eventually. Game can help men to develop self-confidence.
Game requires men to work to understand female psychology. It requires men to know about hypergamy. Men who choose to take the red pill do it to better themselves instead of always being on the lookout for a mate.
Save Money
Save money. Stay out of debt. Follow a budget. Learn the basics of money management. Work to reach the first two financial goals: to have a minimum of $10,000 saved in an emergency fund, then make your first $100,000.
Related – 50/30/20 Budget Versus 60/30/10 Budget
Invest Money
Start to invest money as soon as possible. Start small by putting money away in a high-interest savings account and money market fund. Invest money in the stock market, real estate, or business.
There are many types of investments outside of the stock market. Play to your strengths. Once you have money from one successful investment, reinvest some money into another investment to diversify your risk across asset classes.
Related – 15 Habits To Build Wealth For Singles
Build Passive Income Streams
Work to build passive income streams. The Internet has made it easier to create passive income streams. It is best to play to your strengths when looking to develop the first stream of passive income. You can then use the passive income streams to build an online business.
Start An Online Business
Start an online business. A business is the ultimate asset because you can continue to find ways to grow it and create revenue streams. There are many ways to monetize an online business today. Some strategies include:
- Advertisements on a website, YouTube, TikTok, or other social media platforms.
- Subscription services.
- Subscription newsletters (Substack or your own paid newsletter).
- Sell merch.
- Get a sponsor for content.
- Affiliate marketing.
- Sell digital products.
- Sell physical products.
- Provide a service to customers.
- Be a coach or consultant.
A business is a financial asset. Once the business starts to make money, you can pay yourself monthly from the income it generates. The objective of a business is to make a profit. Companies do that by providing products and services there is market demand.
Health
Single men can focus on their health. They can go to the gym. Regularly exercise. Follow a diet that they think works best. Get enough sunlight each day for Vitamin D.
Men can work to stay lean, fit, and build muscle. Looking your best can help men to be more confident in their professional and everyday lives. Self-confidence plays a vital role in success.
Hone Hard Skills
Hard skills are the most vital skills. Soft skills help with interpersonal relationships. It is hard skills that can help single men earn money, improve skills for work, and learn skills for business. The Interview Guys break down 112 examples of hard skills. Hard skills include:
- Data analysis
- QuickBooks
- Photoshop
- Video editing
- Bookkeeping
- Profit forecasting
- Statistics
- Automation
- Machine operation
- Forklift driving
- Google Analytics
- Graphic design
- Copywriting
- Carpentry
- Plumbing
- Electrical
- Nutrition
- Surgery
- Typing
- Sale pitches
Master one skill you are naturally good at in an area of interest, then move on to learn more skills. Many skills will overlap with each other. For example, sales skills naturally lend themselves to marketing and business.
Solitude
There are benefits to spending time in solitude. Solitude helps with creativity, productivity, and increasing focus. Instead of being distracted by social media, a romantic relationship, or steaming content, you can spend time in solitude to help you reach your goals.
There is no reason always to socialize. Learn your interests, be productive, and spend time working to reach your goals. People can be distractions. Solitude can be a time to invest in yourself!
Related – Alone Versus Lonely
Invest In Yourself
Society tells men to focus on romantic relationships. If men are not dating, then they are losers. It is best to invest in yourself. It is vital for men to work to increase their income, grow their net worth, and continue developing skills.
Once you are financially stable, men can decide if they want to date or remain single. There is nothing wrong with either choice. People are staying single for longer today.
The best investment is in yourself. Invest in yourself first before you start to invest in others.
Travel Abroad
Travel abroad. Traveling is an excellent way to expose yourself to other cultures, traditions, and values different from your country. Try to avoid the main tourist locations as much as possible when traveling. It is best to go where the locals go when traveling. Traveling can help you to broaden your views about the world.
If you make enough money, consider investing in a second passport or country you enjoy. Live there part-time or full-time.
When I traveled to Greece with my dad before college, we had a great cab driver. The cab driver drove us around the lower parts of Greece for our trip. He helped us stay in the local hotels and find the best restaurants rather than just going to the more expensive tourist traps.
Related – Solo Travel: Tip for Trips for Singles to See the World Alone
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The Power Of Going Your Own Way
Summary
Cuffing season is here. Men will feel pressure to date from friends and family. Ultimately, it is best for single men to invest in themselves.
Avoid dating women. Avoid romantic relationships. Invest in yourself to thrive as a single person!