You can learn how to be a strong woman instead of seeking validation from men— Or anyone for that matter. Even if you’re not a secure single woman yet, you can learn to be one faster than you realize.

Learning how to be a strong woman will make it, so you never take any bull from anyone.

You can validate yourself from the inside instead of looking to your outer world to feel better.

How To Be A Strong Woman Instead Of Seeking Validation In Relationships

Start seeking approval— From yourself first.

Validation means understanding your insides. You don’t need anyone to validate your feelings. This can all be done internally within yourself.

Understand that anything you feel is valid even if you don’t understand why you think a certain way.

Many people have what I call the “ugly little monster” in their head, telling them they should or shouldn’t do. That nagging voice can also tell you to “stuff your feelings down,” or say things like, “you shouldn’t feel that way,” or “crying is weak,” or a slew of things that are not true.

Know that the things you think and feel are valid— Even if you don’t agree with them. There will be times that you may consider a thought about someone or something and it isn’t in alignment with your values. That’s OK. I don’t mean that thought is the entire existence of your being.

Remember that thoughts are fleeting.

So don’t beat yourself up over any ideas you don’t love. Learn to accept yourself and any confusing feelings you may have. We’re all human, and that’s part of the deal.

You’re not perfect, and neither are your thoughts. Being an independent woman means you don’t need a man to validate your feelings or career or anything else— Becuase you can validate your own damn self.

There are some more ways to be a strong woman who doesn’t’ show signs of insecurity by seeking validation in relationships.

Be present with yourself.

Tapping into what is going on at this minute will help you be OK with the single life you’re living. In this precious seconds, you are OK. And if you’re going through something, you’ll get through it— You always do!

When you pay attention to how you feel and your surroundings, it will bring you into the moment. Smell, feel, taste, touch, hear and sense things are part of learning how to be a strong woman.

Life is now, not yesterday— Live in it.

So get yourself up to speed and pay attention to what is going on around you and inside your body.

If you have icky feelings that do come up, notice them, feel them and let them process.

Allowing feelings to process (even painful ones) will help you let go of past conditioning. When you and help you get unstuck in that seeking validation mindset you may have had forever.

According to Counseling and Therapy Online, there are four steps to process emotions and feelings.

  1. Identify the feelings.
  2. Accept your feelings.
  3. Process your feelings.
  4. Then address your emotions.

Feelings are tricky, and you can learn to process them alone, or you can reach out to support networks who can help you get through them more easily.


Taking care of yourself is the most empowering thing you can do to let go of needing validation from other people. You can learn to love it!

Lots of Love,

Dina Colada

Views expressed in this article are the author’s opinions and do not necessarily reflect the views of Secure Single. It is intended for informational and educational purposes only. It is not investment or financial advice. James Bollen is the author of Thriving Solo: How to Flourish and Live Your Perfect Life (Without A Soulmate). Now available in paperback and for the Kindle on Amazon. Subscribe to Secure Single’s Substack for free!
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Dina has been mostly single for much of her adult life with lots of dating in between some short, yet growth-centered relationships. She has devoted most of her time to helping singles thrive while on the path to love. She is multi-passionate and loves to connect with other entrepreneurs— Especially ones that are single!
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