The holidays are a crazy time of the year. Holidays are considered a time when people should visit and get together with their family and loved ones. It is a time of year where, depending on how serious your relationship with your boyfriend or girlfriend, you may visit your significant other’s family over Thanksgiving, Christmas, or New Years. As a single person, however, the holidays are tough since bringing a date to different events are considered normal and encouraged during the holidays. Single people should participate in a variety of holiday events while making time for themselves and their single friends.
Single people should hang out with all of their friends during the holidays. Single people should spend time with their friends who are dating. Single people should spend time with their friends who are married. But most importantly, single people should make sure to spend time with their fellow single friends during the holidays. Singles should not be afraid to go out and attend a variety of holiday events by themselves.
The number of events between Thanksgiving and New Years dramatically increase during the holidays. The holidays can be a great time to be a single person. As a single person, it is easier for an individual to attend a variety of events that the major cities and meet new people compared to a couple. Attend holiday events that are of interest and network, hang out with new people, and consider inviting other single people to events. The number of activities that a single person can attend and the purpose for attending each particular holiday event will vary depending on the event and an individual’s reasons for going to events.
So if you are single during the holidays, do not be afraid of putting yourself out there. Take advantage of all the different and fun events that the holidays offer to you. Spend time with those who you enjoy hanging out with, but especially make time to hang out with your fellow single friends.
Views expressed in this article are the author’s opinions and do not necessarily reflect the views of Secure Single. It is intended for informational and educational purposes only. It is not investment or financial advice. James Bollen is the author of Thriving Solo: How to Flourish and Live Your Perfect Life (Without A Soulmate). Now available in paperback and for the Kindle on Amazon. Subscribe to Secure Single’s Substack for free!
There are various types of singlehood, but being single is the most profound state. Merriam-Webster defines singleness as the “quality or state of being single.” Additionally, Merriam-Webster defines single as a “separate individual or thing” and “an unmarried person.”
Singleness is the status of an individual who decides to remain permanently single. This state entails that an individual is not interested in getting romantically involved with another person, having a partner, or getting married. Singleness goes beyond singlehood. Singlehood is the state of being single and unmarried. In contrast to singleness, singlehood allows room to become romantically involved with someone or get married, while singleness is a commitment to stay and remain single throughout life. As the essence of being single, singleness constitutes and affects the daily actions of a single person who identifies or decides to live out the condition of singleness.
While upfront singleness could come across as selfish, the freedom an individual has in the state of singleness better allows them to serve their communities and society because of their lack of restraints. Singleness provides independence to individuals, allowing them to devote their time and skills fully to their community, hobbies, causes they genuinely care about, and society. Singles have the tools of freedom and mobility that couples lack.
A single person could use the strengths that singles in the state of singleness provide—if he or she is a devout single—to give one’s life to an ideal, higher purpose or a cause that one truly believes in. That becomes the equivalent of a partner in coupled relationships to a single person.
An organization, community, cause, or society can only exist with the individuals part of and make the social structure work. Singleness is an identity or a personal decision that an individual commits to as a way to live life; it is vital that society properly understands this state in contrast to singlehood. Individuals in the state of singleness should use their freedom, mobility, and autonomy to help their different communities better while continuing to improve their strengths.
Ultimately, each person (single or not) can decide how to live their life and if they want to commit different things beyond the individual.
The views expressed in this article are the author’s opinions and do not necessarily reflect the views of Secure Single. It is intended for informational and educational purposes only and is not investment, financial, or legal advice. Consult with a financial or legal professional before making investment or legal decisions. James Bollen is the author of Thriving Solo: How to Flourish and Live Your Perfect Life (Without A Soulmate). It is now available in paperback and Kindle on Amazon.
Bella DePaulo is a professor at the University of Santa Barbara in California. She is happily single and lives in Summerland, California. DePaulo is the main person, if not only person, who is at the forefront of singles studies. In her book Singled Out: How Singles Are Stereotyped, Stigmatized, and Ignored, and Still Live Happily Ever After, DePaulo outlines the central stereotypes for how society negatively defines, stereotypes, and stigmatizes singles in media, public policy, and law. Bella DePaulo in Singled Out aims to redefine single life with her word “singlism” while revealing society’s obsession with marriage.
The opening chapter of the book defines singlism as “People who do not have a serious coupled relationship… [people who] are stigmatized, discriminated against, and treated dismissively. This stigmatizing of single people who are single – whether divorced, widowed, or ever single— is the twenty-first-century problem that has no name” (Bella DePaulo, Singled Out, Chapter 1, Page 2). This concept is at the core of Singled Out as she expounds about how public policy, law, media, and society treats single people unfairly and unequally. Since singlism is important to define, single is equally important to define to understand who is and who is not single. DePaulo defines single simply as “You do not have a serious partner” (Page 4). But that is the simplistic version, because the nuances of singlehood do matter because there are different types of single people. There are singles who live alone. There are singles who live in single communities. There are singles who come from a variety of different worldviews, social and cultural backgrounds, and live in different countries around the world. In short, singles are all around us and they have different values, but they are unequal legally compared to their married counterparts.
In contrast to singles, DePaulo defines society’s fascination with coupling and marriage as “matrimania”. Matrimania is “the glorifying of marriage, especially the ‘You’re My Everything’ variety” (Page 10). While singles receive no recognition in law and public policy, couples receive numerous benefits that assist them economically, socially, and legally from the state. Some of the benefits that the state provides to married couples—from the local to the federal level—include tax, financial, legal, and health and employment benefits that the state provides to married couples. This necessarily gives couples an advantage in society compared to a family member, friend, or an acquaintance who decides to remain single. Despite the variety of ways that society has giving civil rights protections to different groups of people from women’s rights to gay marriage in countries, single people remain unequal and treated unjustly under the law that favors married couples. Society’s obsession with matrimania is ultimately detrimental to single people.
Bella DePaulo’s book Singled Out is a great resource that points out what being single truly means while describing the inequality that single people face in society on a variety of different levels. If you are single (widowed, divorced, or just a single person) and want to better know what being single truly means, then you should pick up a copy of Singled Out: How Singles Are Stereotyped, Stigmatized, and Ignored, and Still Live Happily Ever After. Secure Single will provide an overview of each chapter of the book to better expound upon Bella DePaulo’s studies on matrimania, singlism, singlehood, and singleness.
Views expressed in this article are the author’s opinions and do not necessarily reflect the views of Secure Single. It is intended for informational and educational purposes only. It is not investment or financial advice. James Bollen is the author of Thriving Solo: How to Flourish and Live Your Perfect Life (Without A Soulmate). Now available in paperback and for the Kindle on Amazon. Subscribe to Secure Single’s Substack for free!
Defining singlehood in a society where definitions are constantly changing is critical. Below, I will explain what it means to be single.
Singlehood
There are various degrees of being single that go beyond the status of singlehood. While the definition of singlehood is often negatively compared to being married, it still leaves room for single people who may be in different types of relationships and not have a romantic partner.
Unfortunately, single people often encounter the assumption that their lack of romantic involvement means that they are deficient in some way and less valuable to society. But this is not true. Individuals currently single may be recent widowers or divorcees who have just gotten out of a romantic relationship or are undecided about their permanent relationship status.
In summary, singlehood is only the status of being single. It does not define an individual’s worth or value to society. Single people are not inferior, nor are they deficient. They are simply individuals who have chosen or find themselves in a state of being single.
Different Types Of Singlehood
There are several reasons why someone may be single. Some people choose to be single, while others may be involuntary celibates or voluntarily celibate. Some singles are relationship-oriented, while others are perpetually single. Celibacy is also an option for some individuals; some may be single by default. Lastly, some are consciously single.