Society pushes on single people that they are only valuable to society if they are dating or married. There is nothing inherently wrong with this since human connection is important, but there are different degrees and different types of human love. On a deeper level, though, society neglects and underplays the importance of friendship in individuals’ lives in favor of romance and erotic love. Robert Waldinger, in a Ted Talk, explains that Harvard University conducted a study that found people who had social connections and close friendships lived longer than people who were lonely and who isolated themselves from human connection. Contrary to society’s portrayal of single people, singles have the ability to form a close community of social connections and human relationships that have been found to make individuals live longer. Singles should seek to find a core community to form various levels of social connections with other people.

Society and the media often portray singles as being lonely and isolated. It is important that single people have a core group of friends that they can talk to and interact with in life. Further, it is important that singles become confident in their singlehood by attending different events in their home city or town, even if they are unable to find a friend to go. It is healthy that everyone, but especially singles, should leave the house or apartment for social interaction. Physical interaction with others has been found to increase how long one will live and one’s overall health. Social media can both help singles to find events attend, but it can also help lead to further isolation.

In the age of the Internet and social media, virtual relationships have become common. It has changed how we interact, in both good and bad ways, with others. On the positive side, it can find events in their town or city that relates to their interests to meet new people and to interact with more people. On the negative side, social media can become a virtual reality where people spend all of their time without interacting with another physical person. Use social media as a tool to get out of the house or apartment to meet new people. Websites such as Meetup and Facebook events that Facebook recommends are great ways to meet new people with similar interests and to build a community. In addition to social media to find events, singles should find be involved in communities. Single people should strive be involved with a community such as their family, church, community, events, hobbies, or causes that one cares deeply about to form friendships. Singles should have a few close friends and build a community in order to combat against society’s stereotype of singles as being lonely.

After getting involved with a core community, begin to develop a couple of close friendships. The quality of one’s close friendships will influence how long one will live. Single people can develop these close friendships, whether they are living a life of singlehood or a life of singleness. One does not need to be dating or need a romantic relationship to develop this level of friendship. Society, the media, and Hollywood say the contrary. In the age of social media where a single person can have thousands of friends on social media, social science research has found that individuals’ can have at most five close friends. Ultimately, a single person needs close friends for the benefits of personal health and to build a strong community.

Social and human interaction is important and provides many personal health benefits to individuals. Singles should find people and communities that they enjoy hanging out to have social interactions with other people. Social media is a great tool to discover new events that may be interesting and to meet new people at different events. With a society that portrays singles as being lonely and isolated, it is vital that single people show otherwise by seeking out events that they enjoy and to find a core community that they want to help while developing close friendships with a few friends.

Views expressed in this article are the author’s opinions and do not necessarily reflect the views of Secure Single. It is intended for informational and educational purposes only. It is not investment or financial advice. James Bollen is the author of Thriving Solo: How to Flourish and Live Your Perfect Life (Without A Soulmate). Now available in paperback and for the Kindle on Amazon. Subscribe to Secure Single’s Substack for free!
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James Bollen is the Founder and President of Secure Single. He is an entrepreneur and a content creator with the goal of helping all different types of singles to learn to thrive as a single person.
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