This holiday season we come together and realize just how fast the year has gone. Not only is it the end of the year, but this holiday season things are much more fast paced with meetings, family visits, vacations, trips, quarterly end reviews, and quotas. All tie into what is necessary and urgent. We can feel stressed and out of control. In order to get back control over our lives, we need to meditate. Meditation can calm a stressful mind and will help you center yourself before you go back out onto the battlefield of life. Here are the five benefits of meditation that you can integrate into your schedule that singles can implement today.
Meditation Helps You Get Organized
Ever heard the term scatterbrained? Too often we are so busy micromanaging things in our lives that we forget about rest and recovery. Life is simple, and far too simple for most people. To make things work better in your life, give meditation a try to organize your thoughts and get going on what is most important. An organized mind makes better decisions.
Meditation Reduces Stress
Our lives are far more fast-paced than our parents, and it is up to us to keep up with the current times or we will surely get swept under. To reduce stress in your life and be sharper and more effective in our super-sonic speed lives, meditate to reduce stress to be best prepared to handle all obstacles that arise in a calm and controlled mind. Reduce your stress today.
Meditation Improves Your Immune System
Counter-intuitive, but true. Meditating has multiple health benefits which includes improving your immune system. Tied into the stress factor, when we are stressed our immune system isn’t at it’s strongest, and times like these are when we can get an illness. To make matters better, meditating will improve your immune system by lowering rushing thoughts and pressures. You will feel more calm and collected, and healthier.
Meditation Improves Relationships
When you are more centered, you are able to be present for most, if not all, situations. Our minds constantly wander from past to future, but are rarely in the present. When we are with friends, family, and loved ones, we often are elsewhere in our minds thinking about rushing deadlines and things out of our control.
Meditation Improves Self-Knowledge
You can learn a lot about yourself when you sit with yourself and take the time to actually be with yourself. Meditation is a form of self-love, and can help you reach a better understanding of yourself as you listen to the flying thoughts in your mind. Take a pen and paper and write down everything that comes to you. There are no right or wrong answers, just pure consciousness. All the answers you need are within you, so if there is an issue in your life, meditate about it. You know what to do, so trust yourself and improve the relationship you have with yourself.
Summary
Now you’re aware of how you can calm down your mind and get organized. Meditation brings us to the present, and is a daily habit we need to embody, like showering, which improves our lives. Get better today, one step at a time. Practice meditation multiple times a day and keep a journal to note the benefits you get from your practice. It may be difficult at first, but keep going. Get better today, and become the best version of yourself that you can be. Get bigger, better, faster, and stronger!
Cheers,
Danielle
Views expressed in this article are the author’s opinions and do not necessarily reflect the views of Secure Single. It is intended for informational and educational purposes only. It is not investment or financial advice. James Bollen is the author of Thriving Solo: How to Flourish and Live Your Perfect Life (Without A Soulmate). Now available in paperback and for the Kindle on Amazon. Subscribe to Secure Single’s Substack for free!
On July 2, 1776 the Continental Congress approved separation from Great Britain. The final version of the Declaration of Independence was finished and adopted by the twelve American colonies. The Founders and the colonies sought independence from the despotism of Great Britain and sought to create a nation with a separation of powers instead of being ruled by a king. This 4th of July celebrate the United States separation from Great Britain and the Declaration of Independence.
The United States was founded on the philosophical ideas from great thinkers such as John Locke who believed in limited government and individual liberty. The government has no right to intrude upon its citizens’ natural rights that include “life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness.” The founders’ understanding of happiness was influenced by John Locke who wrote in an Essay Concerning Human Understanding that “The necessity of pursuing happiness [is] the foundation of liberty.” It is this very idea of happiness that is the cornerstone of the single life.
Singles have the autonomy to go and to do as they please without the restraint of a significant other. The single life gives mobility to singles that allows them to travel undeterred without obligation to another person or commitments that would prevent them from doing as they please. The Declaration of Independence was a formal break up letter to Great Britain that the colonies were through with being ruled by a king. Singles should adopt the liberty of the single life and declare freedom from anything that keeps them from being the best version of themselves. This 4th of July celebrate the Declaration of Independence, the colonies separation from Great Britain, and the independence of the single life.
Views expressed in this article are the author’s opinions and do not necessarily reflect the views of Secure Single. It is intended for informational and educational purposes only. It is not investment or financial advice. James Bollen is the author of Thriving Solo: How to Flourish and Live Your Perfect Life (Without A Soulmate). Now available in paperback and for the Kindle on Amazon. Subscribe to Secure Single’s Substack for free!
Why Millennials Should Be Single In Their 20s
Why Millennials Should Be Single In Their 20’s: An advantage to Getting Ahead Financially
There is an overwhelming amount of data suggesting that the majority of millennials in the United States today have massive amounts of student loan debt. According to a study conducted by Experian, between 2008 and 2014 the student loan debt rose a startling 84%, and that 7 out of 10 seniors in the class of 2014 graduated with student loan debt.
If your goal is to get out of debt, and you are in your 20’s with no strings, kids, or significant other to worry about, then you have all the time in the world to work your butt off and pay off your debt. After all, college is overrated and over inflated.
If you are thinking about college, but don’t know what to study – go to a trade school to learn actual work skills for a third of the price.
When you have no strings attached to anyone and you are a single 20-something, you have a lot of freedom to direct your life in the way you choose. You have time to meditate, fix and find yourself, and begin to develop your expertise in a certain field. Work on growing your salary, simply because when you generate your own income, make a lot of it, and are able to put food on the table for yourself, your confidence goes up. Never depend on anyone.
The more hours you work, the more of an expert you become in your given field. If you have been lucky enough to get a full-time job out of college with benefits, keep it as long as you can. Your full-time work is only 40 hours a week. If you are paying off debt, get a side hustle or begin to market your skills and freelance them. Start generating cash flow.
Each person only has 24 hours in a day, it’s how you use those 24 hours that makes a difference.
Money can be a really big source of stress. And if you are all you’ve got to depend on, then you have an advantage. You will be more determined to make it because you don’t have plan-B. Just like the analogy of when the captain who burned his crew’s ships when in a foreign land, he made it clear that there is no return, only progression forward. If you’re dating someone who doesn’t understand the struggle, it can be very difficult. If it’s also not the right person, then you are headed for a distracting and temporary hold on your life while you figure your romance side out. Lower your stress and focus on you, your financial statement, and your ability to generate income. Become self-made.
If you take the time now to find yourself, develop your skills, and pursue your dreams, then you won’t have any resentments when you get older. A lot of people simply jump into relationships because they feel lonely, need their feelings validated, or some other random reason – does true romantic love even exist anymore?
The divorce rate is already above 50% and increasing – this could possibly be that people don’t take the time to think it through and truly figure out what they want in life and who their ideal partner is. In your 20s, you are still developing as a person, and don’t know yet what you want in another person. Don’t push your vision out of the way for some random person who might be the one. If they don’t understand you or get that you are pursuing your passion, then you are wasting your time. When you’re stressed out and they can’t handle your emotions, it’s time to say goodbye. Spend time with people who are like-minded, and invest in friendships rather than romance – which is so volatile anyway. Get your goals and look at the bigger picture. As one book famously puts it:
“We know what we want to do, but are afraid of hurting those around us by abandoning everything in order to pursue our dream.
We do not realize that love is just a further impetus, not something that will prevent us going forward.”
— Paulo Coelho
Develop an unbreakable will. Pursue your goals like they are the last rescue boat leaving the Titanic. Pursuing your goals, financially and career wise, takes a lot of energy. When you are young and full of energy, like in your 20s, you have the most opportune time to pursue your goals. Go out and find yourself.
Views expressed in this article are the author’s opinions and do not necessarily reflect the views of Secure Single. It is intended for informational and educational purposes only. It is not investment or financial advice. James Bollen is the author of Thriving Solo: How to Flourish and Live Your Perfect Life (Without A Soulmate). Now available in paperback and for the Kindle on Amazon. Subscribe to Secure Single’s Substack for free!
Being in love is one of the happiest feelings in the world, but what do you do if you aren’t in love? Many people feel left out and extremely pressured, which can lead to living a stressful life. In a study done by The Bureau of Labor Statistics, over half of the U.S. is currently not married. There really is no reason to fret. Sometimes we just happen to not be in a relationship because we simply are not ready for it, or perhaps we want to avoid being hurt by another person emotionally.
The truth is that a lot of people rush to ‘be in love,’ and entirely miss opportunities that come later where they actually meet someone who is right for them. Relationships can be hurtful. Moreover, relationships can be toxic and demeaning if you’re not with the right person, and can overall lower your general happiness and well being.
Through, there are a lot of people in relationships that are happy. The point is that you don’t have to be in a relationship to be happy, the report discovered that some singles report the same levels of happiness as those in relationships:
“…relationships can be a source of hurt and conflict, which single people can avoid. The current research examined for whom being involved in a relationship versus being single enhances or undermines well-being by testing whether social goals moderated the link between relationship status and daily life satisfaction. In both studies, single people high in avoidance goals who strive to prevent relationship conflict and disagreements were just as happy as people involved in a relationship.”
Though, if you are still holding out, I understand. As we are all searching for someone meaningful in our lives — deep down, it’s a true human desire, to give love and be loved in return. That is truly amazing gift you can’t buy anywhere. To help keep sanity, it is important to remember, even if you have been chronically single, that this too shall pass. Being single is a time to reflect and discover yourself before things get too wild. It is part of the process in growing up.
According to an article in Forbes.com, single people volunteer more, have more friends, go out more in their neighborhoods, and even have the potential to go much further in their careers. Perks, right? The grass can only be green on your side of the fence if you just water the grass. Researcher Eric Klinenberg, American sociologist and a scholar, found that:
“Single people are generally more social than married people. Compared with their married counterparts, single people—even the older ones—are much more likely to spend time with friends and neighbors, volunteer, attend art classes, and do other social activities. A study conducted by Cornell sociologist Erin Cornwell found that from 2000 to 2008 those over the age of 35 who lived with a spouse or partner were less likely to spend an evening socializing with friends than those who didn’t. They are driving the social renaissance of modern urban life.”
If you are still convinced that being single is a bad thing, look at it this way — because single people tend to be more social, single people are more likely to go to town and spend money at the bars and restaurants. Even buying new outfit for a date is possible. The 2010 Consumer Expenditure survey found that the single person spent on average $34,471 annually on goods and services.
While you are still single, you can take all of the much needed alone time. You can reflect, meditate, and become prepared for the next day, week, and month with fewer distractions. Some call it, “restorative solitude,” which can make you a more engaged person Alone time can be productive: you can read a book, start a freelance company, and even ‘Netflix and Chill.’
Forbes Magazine estimates that there are 32 million Americans are now living alone, and that number is not only high in the United States, but also equally high in places like Europe and Japan. So you are not alone in this singleness. Not having a committed relationship can mean more time for you to spend with friends, develop your career, and meditate to have a more purposeful life. Be proud of your singleness!
Securely Single,
Danielle E. Brockman
Views expressed in this article are the author’s opinions and do not necessarily reflect the views of Secure Single. It is intended for informational and educational purposes only. It is not investment or financial advice. James Bollen is the author of Thriving Solo: How to Flourish and Live Your Perfect Life (Without A Soulmate). Now available in paperback and for the Kindle on Amazon. Subscribe to Secure Single’s Substack for free!
Society pushes on single people that they are only valuable to society if they are dating or married. There is nothing inherently wrong with this since human connection is important, but there are different degrees and different types of human love. On a deeper level, though, society neglects and underplays the importance of friendship in individuals’ lives in favor of romance and erotic love. Robert Waldinger, in a Ted Talk, explains that Harvard University conducted a study that found people who had social connections and close friendships lived longer than people who were lonely and who isolated themselves from human connection. Contrary to society’s portrayal of single people, singles have the ability to form a close community of social connections and human relationships that have been found to make individuals live longer. Singles should seek to find a core community to form various levels of social connections with other people.
Society and the media often portray singles as being lonely and isolated. It is important that single people have a core group of friends that they can talk to and interact with in life. Further, it is important that singles become confident in their singlehood by attending different events in their home city or town, even if they are unable to find a friend to go. It is healthy that everyone, but especially singles, should leave the house or apartment for social interaction. Physical interaction with others has been found to increase how long one will live and one’s overall health. Social media can both help singles to find events attend, but it can also help lead to further isolation.
In the age of the Internet and social media, virtual relationships have become common. It has changed how we interact, in both good and bad ways, with others. On the positive side, it can find events in their town or city that relates to their interests to meet new people and to interact with more people. On the negative side, social media can become a virtual reality where people spend all of their time without interacting with another physical person. Use social media as a tool to get out of the house or apartment to meet new people. Websites such as Meetup and Facebook events that Facebook recommends are great ways to meet new people with similar interests and to build a community. In addition to social media to find events, singles should find be involved in communities. Single people should strive be involved with a community such as their family, church, community, events, hobbies, or causes that one cares deeply about to form friendships. Singles should have a few close friends and build a community in order to combat against society’s stereotype of singles as being lonely.
After getting involved with a core community, begin to develop a couple of close friendships. The quality of one’s close friendships will influence how long one will live. Single people can develop these close friendships, whether they are living a life of singlehood or a life of singleness. One does not need to be dating or need a romantic relationship to develop this level of friendship. Society, the media, and Hollywood say the contrary. In the age of social media where a single person can have thousands of friends on social media, social science research has found that individuals’ can have at most five close friends. Ultimately, a single person needs close friends for the benefits of personal health and to build a strong community.
Social and human interaction is important and provides many personal health benefits to individuals. Singles should find people and communities that they enjoy hanging out to have social interactions with other people. Social media is a great tool to discover new events that may be interesting and to meet new people at different events. With a society that portrays singles as being lonely and isolated, it is vital that single people show otherwise by seeking out events that they enjoy and to find a core community that they want to help while developing close friendships with a few friends.