How Do You Know If You Are An Introvert

There is a common misconception that introverts are shy and inequity to navigate the social waters. In fact, social skills can be learned. Introverts, like extroverts, can be social.Introverts tend to have different qualities than extroverts, mostly in conversation. Extroverts can dominate a conversation while introverts can take the back seat and observe. Among many characteristics, the Huffington Post outlines some common traits of introverts here:

  1. You find small talk incredibly cumbersome.
  2. You go to parties -– but not to meet people.
  3. You often feel alone in a crowd.
  4. Networking makes you feel like a phony.
  5. You’ve been called “too intense.”
  6. You’re easily distracted.
  7. Downtime doesn’t feel unproductive to you.
  8. Giving a talk in front of 500 people is less stressful than having to mingle with those people afterwards.
  9. When you get on the subway, you sit at the end of the bench -– not in the middle.
  10. You start to shut down after you’ve been active for too long.
  11. You’re in a relationship with an extrovert.
  12. You’d rather be an expert at one thing than try to do everything.

How To Become More Social As An Introvert

Naturally, if you are an introvert you may want to stay inside and not go out. However, if you are feeling the itch to develop your social side, here are some tips for you. Being social is completely possible for you.


At the next party you attend, have a game plan in mind. If you can, bring a friend or two, as it is easier to meet people when you are in a group. Take time to greet people that approach you, and don’t worry what happens after introductions, cause here is what you can do: Ask open ended questions. People enjoy sharing things about themselves, and when you allow a person the floor to talk, you can generally sit and listen, which is a strong quality of an introvert, and then respond with follow up questions, such as, ‘How did you get into that specific hobby?’, or ‘What interests you the most about this topic?’


When in doubt, ask the person about themselves, you may end up learning a lot about him or her. At the end of a conversation, politely thank the person for their time, and exchange your information, if allotted the opportunity. Repeat this process over and over again, until you have made your way around the room. You can do it!

How Becoming Outgoing Can Help You

Just because you are introverted doesn’t mean you have to miss out. Some of the most social people I know are introverted. You will benefit by being social because your brain will grow by developing your people skills. And, as an added bonus, being outgoing can help you in your career. When you are outgoing, you can build great relationships with people because you are willing to open up.

Tying It Together

Introverts can be social, just give yourself the chance if you happen to be one. Take time to develop your social skills, and practice having conversations with people. You May meet some great people! Now, get out there and do your thing. You can do it!


Views expressed in this article are the author’s opinions and do not necessarily reflect the views of Secure Single. It is intended for informational and educational purposes only. It is not investment or financial advice. James Bollen is the author of Thriving Solo: How to Flourish and Live Your Perfect Life (Without A Soulmate). Now available in paperback and for the Kindle on Amazon. Subscribe to Secure Single’s Substack for free!
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Danielle has chosen to be single in her walk of life. She experienced dating in her late teens and early twenties, and had always felt each relationship was unfulfilling. To find more meaning in her life, she broke off to go down a path of self-discovery.
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