There are many people who are single who may want to date, but they do not date people who want to have kids. Many millennials are already faced with student loan debt and are working to pay it off while getting their careers on track. It’s distracting thinking about dating, and even about starting a family. We all want what we want, but we must first be willing to work hard for it. Some people were lucky to be born with a silver spoon in their hand, or to have had their college paid for by their parents. When you have both emotions and have student loans to pay of, you have got to work hard and can’t; deal with any distractions. Every minute matters. Here’s the breakdown in three steps:
Student Loans
They really suck. Trade schools are smart to get into because you can instantly go to work with real skills that are marketable to the world. When You get a general degree, making yourself marketable is tougher. Picking up a side hustle, getting into sales, and starting your own company are great ways to begin to pay off your student loans. You want to work to pay off all your loans and get into a financial position where you can breathe.College is expensive, and not really worth it. Ugh!
Career Focused
Yes, it’s true that millennials are the largest age demographic to be single, unwed, and childless, but it is also true that due to the student loan debt we have we are geared towards making a living and paying it all off. It’s time to be responsible. It’s time to get focused in our careers. Kids and marriage can come later in life, but in your 20’s you have so much energy to make things happen. What you do NOW will affect the rest of your future. You Have to be so careful how you spend your time, and you have to work towards generating GOOD cash flow to set up your future to be bright.
Be Free From Kids
Why bring children into the world when the divorce rate is at 50% and growing, and we live in a world where people are afraid of commitment. Relationships are messy. We need to set things up to counterbalance these events from happening. Use birth control and don’t get emotionally involved. People don’t commit, so why have children with them, especially out of wedlock? Be smart, and be safe.
In order to love better and have a more liberated life, you have got to work hard for what you want. It may require more hours but hey it’s your life and you need to find a way to make it worth something. Get out of debt, focus on your career, and don’t mess around with non-committal people because relationships are messy as it is. When You focus on you, and are bettering your life, you are truly living and being in alignment with your true self and making every second count. There is not a minute to lose, so focus on your goals, write them down, take steps towards them every day, and make what you do count. You can do it, and you are worth it to make your dreams and goals happen! Go get it!
Cheers,
Danielle
Views expressed in this article are the author’s opinions and do not necessarily reflect the views of Secure Single. It is intended for informational and educational purposes only. It is not investment or financial advice. James Bollen is the author of Thriving Solo: How to Flourish and Live Your Perfect Life (Without A Soulmate). Now available in paperback and for the Kindle on Amazon. Subscribe to Secure Single’s Substack for free!
This holiday season we come together and realize just how fast the year has gone. Not only is it the end of the year, but this holiday season things are much more fast paced with meetings, family visits, vacations, trips, quarterly end reviews, and quotas. All tie into what is necessary and urgent. We can feel stressed and out of control. In order to get back control over our lives, we need to meditate. Meditation can calm a stressful mind and will help you center yourself before you go back out onto the battlefield of life. Here are the five benefits of meditation that you can integrate into your schedule that singles can implement today.
Meditation Helps You Get Organized
Ever heard the term scatterbrained? Too often we are so busy micromanaging things in our lives that we forget about rest and recovery. Life is simple, and far too simple for most people. To make things work better in your life, give meditation a try to organize your thoughts and get going on what is most important. An organized mind makes better decisions.
Meditation Reduces Stress
Our lives are far more fast-paced than our parents, and it is up to us to keep up with the current times or we will surely get swept under. To reduce stress in your life and be sharper and more effective in our super-sonic speed lives, meditate to reduce stress to be best prepared to handle all obstacles that arise in a calm and controlled mind. Reduce your stress today.
Meditation Improves Your Immune System
Counter-intuitive, but true. Meditating has multiple health benefits which includes improving your immune system. Tied into the stress factor, when we are stressed our immune system isn’t at it’s strongest, and times like these are when we can get an illness. To make matters better, meditating will improve your immune system by lowering rushing thoughts and pressures. You will feel more calm and collected, and healthier.
Meditation Improves Relationships
When you are more centered, you are able to be present for most, if not all, situations. Our minds constantly wander from past to future, but are rarely in the present. When we are with friends, family, and loved ones, we often are elsewhere in our minds thinking about rushing deadlines and things out of our control.
Meditation Improves Self-Knowledge
You can learn a lot about yourself when you sit with yourself and take the time to actually be with yourself. Meditation is a form of self-love, and can help you reach a better understanding of yourself as you listen to the flying thoughts in your mind. Take a pen and paper and write down everything that comes to you. There are no right or wrong answers, just pure consciousness. All the answers you need are within you, so if there is an issue in your life, meditate about it. You know what to do, so trust yourself and improve the relationship you have with yourself.
Summary
Now you’re aware of how you can calm down your mind and get organized. Meditation brings us to the present, and is a daily habit we need to embody, like showering, which improves our lives. Get better today, one step at a time. Practice meditation multiple times a day and keep a journal to note the benefits you get from your practice. It may be difficult at first, but keep going. Get better today, and become the best version of yourself that you can be. Get bigger, better, faster, and stronger!
Cheers,
Danielle
Views expressed in this article are the author’s opinions and do not necessarily reflect the views of Secure Single. It is intended for informational and educational purposes only. It is not investment or financial advice. James Bollen is the author of Thriving Solo: How to Flourish and Live Your Perfect Life (Without A Soulmate). Now available in paperback and for the Kindle on Amazon. Subscribe to Secure Single’s Substack for free!
Spring is a time of rebirth. Plants begin to sprout and birth new life as the season begins from what were once dead shrubs. Being single can also be a start of a new beginning. A relationship may have just ended and you are now on break. The single life is a time to grow and mature as an individual before entering a relationship or to just work on yourself. As the first day of Spring brings a new season, here are five ways to spring into the single life.
Bloom
All flowers start as a seed before sprouting and finally blooming into a beautiful flower. The single life is no different. It is a time to grow and to get to know yourself better. It is also a time to prepare yourself for your potential mate. Just as the plant grew from a seedling, being single can be a time to grow as an adult and learn how to do life’s basic skills before starting to date or getting married.
Shine as a Single
The single life is often thought of as being lesser than the married life. It is not. The single time of your life is the time to shine as an individual and to enjoy all that the single life offers. It is also a time to think for yourself before a significant other enters the picture. Learn to view yourself positively and from this point forward reinforce that concept each day by telling yourself positive self-talk, a positive phrase that resonates with you. A plant needs sun to grow and the single life has its challenges so people need affirmative thoughts to live a better daily life.
Relax
Take some time off from your job and travel to a new destination this Spring. Can’t travel? Take time out of your day to do your favorite activity, take a nap at the park, or read a book by the lake. Make it a point to spend some much needed alone time to just relax to escape the business of life and any current problems that you may be experiencing in your life. Relax. Breathe. De-stress.
Grow as a Person
Life is meant to be enjoyed and the best way to enjoy life is to grow as a person. As a single, you have time to develop as a person that would be given to another person if you were in a relationship. Use your time as a single to grow intellectually, physically, and get to know yourself better as a person. The best way to grow is to challenge yourself by doing what is uncomfortable. Get out of your comfort zone and go to places alone as a single and do not worry about what others may think of you going out by yourself. Take risks in life instead of playing it safe.
Temperate
Spring is temperate season that follows the cold and harsh season of Winter. This season is characterized by mild temperatures. Similarly, as the season becomes more moderate, singles can work on self-control and discipline in different areas of life. Want to lose some weight to look great in a bikini this summer? Stick to a diet and exercise plan. Have problems connecting with people and making friends? Learn how to read body language and ask people questions when you talk to them and best sure to listen to their answers. Been meaning to clean up your apartment or fix that maintenance issue? Stop procrastinating and prepare a time during the week where you will do what you have been putting off. Take the time to control yourself and to monitor your time better as a single this Spring.
Views expressed in this article are the author’s opinions and do not necessarily reflect the views of Secure Single. It is intended for informational and educational purposes only. It is not investment or financial advice. James Bollen is the author of Thriving Solo: How to Flourish and Live Your Perfect Life (Without A Soulmate). Now available in paperback and for the Kindle on Amazon. Subscribe to Secure Single’s Substack for free!
If you are single, and have a lot of time to yourself, you should check this out. These are three activities that every single should do to connect with others and be healthy. These three activities can help you become a better person and more well-rounded in society today.
3 Activities Every Single Needs To Do Today
Improve Your Relationships With Friends And Family
Your quality of your relationships with people is the measure of the quality of your life. Improve, amend, and fix the relationships in your life that need a little tender love and care. If you have moved to a new city as a young 20 something, you should keep in touch with visits to family and friends. Join a meetup group in your city, and work to improve your communication skills and build your circle of friend up. You can never go wrong when you are around good friends.
Take Time To Reflect
I feel like people don’t take time to sit and reflect. This can easily be done by meditating, and working to study what really makes you happy. I have found that pina coladas, getting caught in the rain, and doing yoga seems to do the trick (: Though, if you’re not into yoga, or any of that, take long walks and begin journaling at the end of your day to reflect. Through journaling, you achieve clarity. Life is always asking for us to, be, or give something — which is part of life. So you should keep at least an hour to yourself. The key to life is to find your happy place. You can do this, begin one step at a time.
Workout Your Mind And Body
You should definitely join a gym if you haven’t yet and you should stick to your routine. Also, pair this with reading quality books every day. Make it a goal to complete 1 to 2 books a month. You truly will benefit from improving your body and mind. You put out what you put in, so also remember to eat healthy items! Organic veggies, meats, nuts, and fruits. Through, a glass of red wine can do the trick after a long day of work to reward yourself.
There you have it singles. Be proud of who you are, and you will begin to build the life you intend one step at a time by making the most of being single with these activities. Just believe in yourself, love yourself, and improve your relationships, mind, body, and spirit. You got this!
Views expressed in this article are the author’s opinions and do not necessarily reflect the views of Secure Single. It is intended for informational and educational purposes only. It is not investment or financial advice. James Bollen is the author of Thriving Solo: How to Flourish and Live Your Perfect Life (Without A Soulmate). Now available in paperback and for the Kindle on Amazon. Subscribe to Secure Single’s Substack for free!
New Year’s Resolutions. We all make them, But how do you tailor them to be securely single? Here are the top 7 New Year’s resolutions to make if you are single, and want to make 2017 one of the best years of your life.
1. Read The 7 Healthy Habits of Highly Effective People by Stephen Covey
For the mind. This book will literally outline a great plan for your new year, and give you the stepping stones to developing good habits that will serve you in 2017 and beyond. All goals are met by developing habits to achieve them. Why not give it a shot?It will help improve your life.
2. Get a Gym Membership and develop a workout routine you can stick to
For the body. Join a gym, and actually go. Improving your body through working out, whether lifting or cardio — or both, will greatly improve your mood, make you look sexier (yes, I said it), and improve your health. Look online for routines that will help you build up from a 20 minute run up to 1 hour weight lifting. Working out will help relieve stress, and improve your cognitive skills through developing the habit of discipline, and improving your dopamine levels (natural happy hormones released after working out. You will also sleep better.
3. Know thyself.
Whether you are spiritual or not, you should definitely invest in studying the beautiful and unique person you are. Whether that means studying eastern and western philosophy, or simply attending group spiritual settings where you can let loose and be appreciated by other people in the same boat. Study yourself, and get to know yourself on a deeper level. Your clarity will greatly improve, and you will achieve another understanding of yourself, others, and the world around you.
4. Plan it out.
Your life’s purpose. Yes we hear this a lot, but it is actually true. When you plan your life out, and work your plan, your plan happens. Though, don’t write it out on your computer or phone, rather, take a big piece piece of paper and a sharpie marker and write down exactly what you want. If you need time to think, take your time. Take all the time you need. This is, after all, you’re life. Taking the time to sit with yourself and write down your purpose in life is very important, and when you know your life’s purpose, you wont was a single sec-on doing things that don’t align with your goals.
5. Make and Keep Good Company
Take time to make friends and keep friends that love and appreciate you. Too often, we seek the approval from people who do refuse to give us the love at attention we deserve, or we seek to be fiers with people who don’t appreciate us. THis can stem from, (going to go a bit deep here), childhood issues and self esteem. Now that you are a fully functional adult, take time to make the decision to surround yourself with people who ONLY bring out the best in you. Why? Because you deserve good people in your life, because deep down, YOU know you are a good person.
6. Love yourself.
Whether you are newly single, chronically single by choice, or securely single, take this moment in time to truly appreciate yourself for the wonderful human being you are. Simply because you exist, you are 100% eligible to love yourself. Take time to work on improving your confidence within yourself, and take time to truly get to know yourself and love yourself.
7. Stick to your goals.
Find a friend who helps you work towards all your goals, and keeps you accountable. In return, help your friends keep herself/himself accountable. With all of your life goals planned out, work together as a team.
All New Year’s resolutions are directed at making you, a better you! Improve your self, inside and out, and your entire life will begin to improve. Stay secure my single friends, and remember, the world needs more secure single people.
Securely Single,
Danielle E. Brockman
Views expressed in this article are the author’s opinions and do not necessarily reflect the views of Secure Single. It is intended for informational and educational purposes only. It is not investment or financial advice. James Bollen is the author of Thriving Solo: How to Flourish and Live Your Perfect Life (Without A Soulmate). Now available in paperback and for the Kindle on Amazon. Subscribe to Secure Single’s Substack for free!
Popular culture presents being single in a negative light. Singles are pressured to date, marry, and find their soulmate. There are no soulmates. Yet, society tells singles that they cannot be happy until they are in a romantic relationship.
There are many reasons to enjoy being single. This is an incomplete list. Here are five reasons why being single is awesome!
Five Reasons Why Being Single Is Awesome
Focus On Yourself
You can begin to focus on yourself. You must know yourself before you can start to reach your goals. You will likely struggle to reach your goals if you do not know your strengths and weaknesses.
Once you know your strengths, you can learn your likes and dislikes. The things that you enjoy doing will help you.
You can then start to pursue your passion. What you obsess over will often overlap with your strengths.
You can then find a way to monetize your strengths, interests, and what you are passionate about. That is the perfect combination.
Solo Travel
You have the freedom to travel solo anytime you want. It could be simply visiting the nearest nearby town or city. You could plan a trip to see a nearby state. Or, you could rent or buy an RV to see your entire country.
You could also travel solo abroad. What countries have you always wanted to visit? Make a list. Make it one of your goals to see some of those countries before you die.
Traveling alone can help you develop confidence. You may spend the entire trip by yourself. Or, you could spend the trip traveling with a group.
Focus On Your Health
You can focus on your health. Health plays a vital role in your everyday life. Your health affects your productivity.
You can improve your physical health by regularly exercising, going to the gym, getting Vitamin D from the sun, and following a diet. These are some basic things that can help you to feel better about yourself. It takes time to lose weight and to follow a diet consistently. You will feel and look better when you do. Improving your health can positively affect your mental health.
Self-Love
You can practice self-love. There is nothing wrong with learning to love oneself. If you do not like who you are, you will most likely not enjoy life. This is because you will end up doing things that you hate. It may be a job. It may be hanging out with fake and negative people.
You can start to love yourself for the unique person you are. You have innate value as an individual. Once you start to live out self-love in your life, you can begin to develop self-confidence and experience happiness in your life.
You do not need a significant other to be happy. Your happiness does not come from other people. You are responsible for your own satisfaction.
Learning to love yourself, despite your flaws, is one way to live a happier life.
Financial Life In Order
You can work to get your financial life in order. You can learn to follow a budget. You can start to build an emergency fund. You can think long-term and save money for retirement. You can invest in the stock market.
Related – 15 Habits To Build Wealth For Singles
Summary
These are five reasons why being single is awesome! You can focus on yourself to reach your goal while becoming the best version of yourself. You can do that by improving your personal and financial well-being. You can also enjoy the freedom of being single to solo travel and see the world.
Views expressed in this article are the author’s opinions and do not necessarily reflect the views of Secure Single. It is intended for informational and educational purposes only. It is not investment or financial advice. James Bollen is the author of Thriving Solo: How to Flourish and Live Your Perfect Life (Without A Soulmate). Now available in paperback and for the Kindle on Amazon. Subscribe to Secure Single’s Substack for free!
The holidays are a time when singles return from college or from their busy lives to visit their family over the holiday season. This is also a time where there is pressure to bring home a significant other because of the expectations of family and friends to date. Instead, celebrate your singleness this holiday season. Here are five simple ways to celebrate being single this holiday season.
1. Alone Time Following Social Gatherings
The holidays are often filled with at least one family dinner where all the siblings and parents come around the table once a year to catch up. This often entails polite small talk and general questions about your life, which will normally include a question about your love life. Following catching up with your family, you normally will visit your cousins and grandparents if they live nearby.
After these various social gatherings; spend some time alone at your favorite coffee shop, lounge, or your personal hobby. One of the great things about being single is that you have the flexibility to do what you want after you are finished with your holiday social duties. Plus, you have no nagging boyfriend or girlfriend whom you must spend time with, introduce to your family, and show them the town where you grew up in. Spend time alone this holiday season and learn to enjoy your time alone.
2. Host Your Own Party
While alone time is important, it is also important for singles to learn how to be a good host. There are often plenty of holiday parties to attend during the holiday season. This year host your own party and invite your friends. A simple party consists of a few things:
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- Meat, cheese, vegetable, and fruit platters are an easy and filling choice.
- Antipasti with olives, variety of vegetables, and crackers.
- Winter cocktails, wine, and beer.
- Soda and nonalcoholic cocktails.
3. Treat Yourself this Holiday Season
Singles don’t have to worry about having to purchase an expensive gift for a significant other. Singles can decide to save and budget the money that would go towards buying a gift for a boyfriend or girlfriend or to spend it on something nice this season. Singles can treat themselves to a nice bottle of wine, update the wardrobe, or get tickets for an upcoming concert. Treat yourself and celebrate being single while you are at it.
Views expressed in this article are the author’s opinions and do not necessarily reflect the views of Secure Single. It is intended for informational and educational purposes only. It is not investment or financial advice. James Bollen is the author of Thriving Solo: How to Flourish and Live Your Perfect Life (Without A Soulmate). Now available in paperback and for the Kindle on Amazon. Subscribe to Secure Single’s Substack for free!
Maria Brink is the lead singer of the metal band In This Moment. In This Moment tackles interesting subject matter than most metal bands because the band has a female lead singer. Maria Brink is a single mother in the metal world as In This Moment is gaining a larger fan base. Maria Brink, while being a rock star, has learned to balance life on the road with raising her son as a single mother of metal.
Maria Brink has an adult son, but she had to learn to balance family life with touring with In This Moment. Early on in her career, Brink notes that when her son was younger she had to deal with her career and raising her son. As her son grew up and got involved in high school sports, she later would schedule tour dates around her son’s football season in order to attend the games. But when she was touring with In This Moment, she would stay in contact with his teachers to make sure he was doing well in school. In addition to being a single mother and staying involved with her son, Maria Brink is a female singer in the predominantly male world of rock and metal.
As one of the top front woman of metal, receiving an honorable mention by WatchMojo, Maria Brink provides theatrics with the hellpop and metal of In This Moment. The female voice provides an excellent contrast to the sometimes harsh sounds of rock and metal. However, since metal music is the genre of music most closely related to classical music in its form it works nicely. These strong women of metal also create a different image from the typical pop counter parts by tackling darker subjects and different themes than their male counterparts within the genre. In This Moment’s new album Black Widow tackles themes about societal standards for female beauty, love, and the role of women in society with a line about living behind a “white picket fence [in the suburbs]” (“Into The Darkness”, Black Widow).
Maria Brink may be one of the top front women in the world of rock and metal, but that is a debate for metal fans. In an interview, Brink explains that the lyrics she writes for In This Moment to “tell kids that they can believe in themselves and know that they can manifest anything in their lives.” As a single mother and a lead singer, Maria Brink provides a unique perspective in the world of music and addressing issues such as gender roles and human sexuality. If you are looking for to expand your musical horizons or to find new bands within the genre, In This Moment is worth checking out for the themes that the band addresses and for the lyrics and theatrics of Maria Brink.
hile the metal scene and metal music is not mainstream, the music tackles more important topics and issues than most pop music as Maria Brink does in Black Widow. Maria Brink owns here stage presence in a male dominated music scene. However, Maria Brink has also been able to work out the struggles of being a single parent, raising a son, and working on writing music and touring with In This Moment. Single parents and single mothers can learn from Maria Brink’s example by creating, planning, and incorporating a schedule and a list of priorities for the different areas of one’s life.
Maria Brink is the lead singer of In This Moment and a single mother. She may be a female rock star in the metal scene but she is a mother first to her son. Brink had to give up things and plan her schedule when her band toured around her son while working on her professional career as a musician. Single mothers, and single parents, can learn from her example by choosing what takes precedence in life and working to make them a reality.