I believe it’s important to take care of your curiosities and bucket list items as a single before opening up a new chapter as a person in a committed relationship. It has been said many times that you have more autonomy and freedom as a single person, than you do in a relationship with compromise. You may have heard about the horror stories of people who got too serious too fast in a relationship and ended up imploding their own by suppressing their curiosities that a person may have never fulfilled before entering into a committed relationship. As an anecdote to cheating, risky behavior, or downright dangerous acts, relieving yourself of these five things may be just the key to saving yourself from heartache should you enter a committed relationship. So with that in mind, let’s break down the five most important things to do before you get into a committed relationship. Here are five life experiences singles should have before a relationship.
5 Life Experiences Singles Should Have Before A Relationship
Travel
This goes without saying, but I will say it anyway: see as much of the world before you go and settle down. The true you can travel the world with your S.O., but it can be a lot more difficult when you have a family. Travel. See places you have never seen before. Go and find adventure out in the world. Talk to other people who also travel and visit exotic places in packs. You will be more well-rounded and live a richer and fuller life.
Work Your Ass Off
Yes, you should definitely do this. You have more free time now than you ever imagined right now as a single. Work your ass off now to set the future for your 30’s and 40’s. It may seem like a long time away, but the time will come when you reach those age groups. Work your ass off now to save money, make money, and also take EXTREMELY good care of your body. It is the only house you have to live in. When You work your ass off, you build a good work ethic. An extremely handy skill that all intelligent business owners will revere.
Hook Up With That Person You Think Is Hot
See that hot guy or girl across the room? Secretly you want to hook up with them, get their number, or have an engaging conversation with them. Don’t be shy. You could have the opportunity of a lifetime in front of you and feel fulfilled if you go over and talk with them. It may even be a friend that deemed you ‘friend-zoned’. Give it your all — life is seriously too short to go about being too scared to try anything. If it turns out to be a simple ‘no’ from the receiving end, you will at least know that you explored the opportunity and increased your odds because you asked. If you get a ‘yes!’, lady luck is on your side – only because you had the courage to get out there and try. Go for it!!
Adore Friends Babies, Hand Them Back
Some of us want kids, and some of us don’t. That’s quite alright. But that doesn’t stop you from adoring your new baby nephew or supporting your best friend with a new baby girl. The matter of the fact is that the baby is not your responsibility – yay! Good news for you: you can be supportive, show your adoration and appreciation for new life, and hand it back shortly after coddling the newborn. Wa-la! You are now free to go about your business. Breathe because you are still free.
Discover The REAL You!
Too often in life, I feel that people live their daily lives without connecting deeply with others, simply because they do not know enough about themselves. Take this time while you are single to FIX yourself, find yourself, nurture yourself, and link the wounds from the mistakes you made earlier on. The good news about being single is that you have so much time to yourself to learn about yourself. I have made countless mistakes in society and learned a lot. I wouldn’t take back any lesson learned for anything, as each stupid mistake I have made has taught me about the world and how I relate to myself. Discover the real you. Learn how you bleed, show your true colors, and be proud of it. Your vibe will eventually attract your tribe. So stand up, dust yourself off, and be the beautiful, strong, passionate, wonderful person you were made to be. And remember, to human is to err.
Satisfy your hunger beforehand, and you will lead a more fulfilled, and perhaps have some better stories to tell your S.O. if or when the time comes. For now, signing out. Stay secure, singles!
Cheers,
Danielle
Views expressed in this article are the author’s opinions and do not necessarily reflect the views of Secure Single. It is intended for informational and educational purposes only. It is not investment or financial advice. James Bollen is the author of Thriving Solo: How to Flourish and Live Your Perfect Life (Without A Soulmate). Now available in paperback and for the Kindle on Amazon. Subscribe to Secure Single’s Substack for free!
How Do You Know If You Are An Introvert
There is a common misconception that introverts are shy and inequity to navigate the social waters. In fact, social skills can be learned. Introverts, like extroverts, can be social.Introverts tend to have different qualities than extroverts, mostly in conversation. Extroverts can dominate a conversation while introverts can take the back seat and observe. Among many characteristics, the Huffington Post outlines some common traits of introverts here:
- You find small talk incredibly cumbersome.
- You go to parties -– but not to meet people.
- You often feel alone in a crowd.
- Networking makes you feel like a phony.
- You’ve been called “too intense.”
- You’re easily distracted.
- Downtime doesn’t feel unproductive to you.
- Giving a talk in front of 500 people is less stressful than having to mingle with those people afterwards.
- When you get on the subway, you sit at the end of the bench -– not in the middle.
- You start to shut down after you’ve been active for too long.
- You’re in a relationship with an extrovert.
- You’d rather be an expert at one thing than try to do everything.
How To Become More Social As An Introvert
Naturally, if you are an introvert you may want to stay inside and not go out. However, if you are feeling the itch to develop your social side, here are some tips for you. Being social is completely possible for you.
At the next party you attend, have a game plan in mind. If you can, bring a friend or two, as it is easier to meet people when you are in a group. Take time to greet people that approach you, and don’t worry what happens after introductions, cause here is what you can do: Ask open ended questions. People enjoy sharing things about themselves, and when you allow a person the floor to talk, you can generally sit and listen, which is a strong quality of an introvert, and then respond with follow up questions, such as, ‘How did you get into that specific hobby?’, or ‘What interests you the most about this topic?’
When in doubt, ask the person about themselves, you may end up learning a lot about him or her. At the end of a conversation, politely thank the person for their time, and exchange your information, if allotted the opportunity. Repeat this process over and over again, until you have made your way around the room. You can do it!
How Becoming Outgoing Can Help You
Just because you are introverted doesn’t mean you have to miss out. Some of the most social people I know are introverted. You will benefit by being social because your brain will grow by developing your people skills. And, as an added bonus, being outgoing can help you in your career. When you are outgoing, you can build great relationships with people because you are willing to open up.
Tying It Together
Introverts can be social, just give yourself the chance if you happen to be one. Take time to develop your social skills, and practice having conversations with people. You May meet some great people! Now, get out there and do your thing. You can do it!