3 Ways Singles Can Have Amazing Relationships With Their Friends

In order to live a complete and fulfilled life, it is essential to have strong and deep meaningful relationships with the people who bring us up and bring out the best in us. Millennials are in the constant grind of completing college and getting established in the workforce. It can be a rat race, and our lives can be stressful and lonely. To combat those low-level feelings, we need a team of people we can count on emotionally. Good relationships bounce us backup after we have fallen. It is up to us to nurture and foster a loving environment for our relationships to become deep and meaningful. Here are three ways you can improve your relationships today!

Spend Time With Loved Ones 

Time flies by, so spend time with your friends. Make time to be with your friends and plan activities around relaxation, being in nature, and working out. Drinking is nice to do if it’s a special holiday or birthday, but alcohol tends to make things worse if you are working to improve relationships. Be present, be attentive, and stay focused. These are important relationships you need to work, to try your best to be completely present for each person who is special in your life. It’s important, and you need to be emotionally available to help your friends when they need you!

  Be Honest About Your Life Experience 

Too often, we keep secrets from others because we are afraid of what they will think. Take a moment to meditate on why you do this. Is it because you are afraid others will not like the real you? If so, why are you pretending to be someone else? Come as you are and welcome your authentic, non-ego self into the present. You will feel more comfortable in your skin. By being open and honest about your life experiences, you are being your authentic self. You are being, you! In truth, you will attract the right people if you are yourself, and if you are not being yourself then you will attract people who are not like you and may not ultimately approve of yourself. Be you, do your best, and know that you are a diamond!

Trust Your Friends 

Until proven differently, work hard to trust people you care about. It can be hard to trust if you grew up in a household where you weren’t loved, or even had a lover or friend you trusted deeply break that trust. To live complete, begin to trust again. Being hurt is temporary, so learn to let go and focus on what is happening now. Do not worry if you are uncertain of the future, you have absolutely no control over the future, you only have control over the current moment. Holding on to the past or worrying about the future will only keep you from loving and enjoying the present moment. Learn to let go, learn to trust, and learn to love life and enjoy it to the fullest. You are worthy of love and trust, so start today to show your friends you love them by trusting them completely.

 

Start today by intentionally making an active effort to do your best to improve relationships by being attentive and being your true self. When you open up and trust life, life tends to be there for us. Make sure you do your best every day, show up on time, make things work, and be happy. Every day is a new day for a fresh start. If is your life, so take back control today!

 

Views expressed in this article are the author’s opinions and do not necessarily reflect the views of Secure Single. It is intended for informational and educational purposes only. It is not investment or financial advice. James Bollen is the author of Thriving Solo: How to Flourish and Live Your Perfect Life (Without A Soulmate). Now available in paperback and for the Kindle on Amazon. Subscribe to Secure Single’s Substack for free!

Single By Circumstance: How To Grow While Single And Prepare For The One

There are many reasons why people are single. Some love being single. Some really just want to be in a relationship. For singles who desire a relationship; but who are currently single, they are single by circumstance. There is nothing wrong with being single and those are single by circumstance should wait until the right person comes along to date again.

Being single is often portrayed as being sad and lonely by the media and society. The single life’s values include independence and flexibility. Those who are single by circumstance can use the single life as a time of personal self-discovery, to learn more about themselves, and to prepare themselves for a future partner. While you are single, learn to take care of yourself and how to do basic home essentials from shopping to cleaning the house. This and other basic life skills that will better prepare you to assist your partner with household chores.

Those who are single by circumstance should take the opportunity of being single to learn more about themselves and go on life journey of self-discovery. The journey of self-discovery will allow singles to learn more about their likes, dislikes, and their life values. After you know what those you, you can determine if you are ready and find a compatible partner and want to no longer be single. This journey of self-discovery will help single prepare to find a compatible partner and they will know more about who they are as a person and mature in preparation for a potential life partner. Embrace your time as a single and prepare yourself for the one. Ultimately “the one” does not exist.

Soulmates are a myth. There are no soulmates. It is best to invest in yourself. If you choose to eventually date and marry, recognize that there is no perfect partner or spouse. “The one” is an illusion.

The single life provides flexibility and freedom. Singles can travel and explore the world while they are single by circumstance. Singles can also save, invest, and develop their professional skills to be able to provide for a partner and possibly a family. The single life is a great time to gain confidence and to build social skills so that you can talk and read nonverbal signals well from potential partners at social events. For those who are single by circumstance, take the opportunity and single life values to grow and mature in preparation for dating and finding a partner.

Ultimately, there is nothing wrong with being single and singles should not feel pressure to jump back into the dating scene. Those who are single by circumstance should be patient, focus on their career, and develop themselves and enter the dating scene only when they are ready and able to commit to a potential partner. Until that time comes, singles should enjoy the single life and not view being single as a negative life experience. Being single has plenty to offer and those who are single by circumstance can take advantage of all that the single life offers while single.

Views expressed in this article are the author’s opinions and do not necessarily reflect the views of Secure Single. It is intended for informational and educational purposes only. It is not investment or financial advice. James Bollen is the author of Thriving Solo: How to Flourish and Live Your Perfect Life (Without A Soulmate). Now available in paperback and for the Kindle on Amazon. Subscribe to Secure Single’s Substack for free!

4 Ways Single Introverts Can Learn To Become Social

How Do You Know If You Are An Introvert

There is a common misconception that introverts are shy and inequity to navigate the social waters. In fact, social skills can be learned. Introverts, like extroverts, can be social.Introverts tend to have different qualities than extroverts, mostly in conversation. Extroverts can dominate a conversation while introverts can take the back seat and observe. Among many characteristics, the Huffington Post outlines some common traits of introverts here:

  1. You find small talk incredibly cumbersome.
  2. You go to parties -– but not to meet people.
  3. You often feel alone in a crowd.
  4. Networking makes you feel like a phony.
  5. You’ve been called “too intense.”
  6. You’re easily distracted.
  7. Downtime doesn’t feel unproductive to you.
  8. Giving a talk in front of 500 people is less stressful than having to mingle with those people afterwards.
  9. When you get on the subway, you sit at the end of the bench -– not in the middle.
  10. You start to shut down after you’ve been active for too long.
  11. You’re in a relationship with an extrovert.
  12. You’d rather be an expert at one thing than try to do everything.

How To Become More Social As An Introvert


Naturally, if you are an introvert you may want to stay inside and not go out. However, if you are feeling the itch to develop your social side, here are some tips for you. Being social is completely possible for you.

 

At the next party you attend, have a game plan in mind. If you can, bring a friend or two, as it is easier to meet people when you are in a group. Take time to greet people that approach you, and don’t worry what happens after introductions, cause here is what you can do: Ask open ended questions. People enjoy sharing things about themselves, and when you allow a person the floor to talk, you can generally sit and listen, which is a strong quality of an introvert, and then respond with follow up questions, such as, ‘How did you get into that specific hobby?’, or ‘What interests you the most about this topic?’

 

When in doubt, ask the person about themselves, you may end up learning a lot about him or her. At the end of a conversation, politely thank the person for their time, and exchange your information, if allotted the opportunity. Repeat this process over and over again, until you have made your way around the room. You can do it!

How Becoming Outgoing Can Help You

Just because you are introverted doesn’t mean you have to miss out. Some of the most social people I know are introverted. You will benefit by being social because your brain will grow by developing your people skills. And, as an added bonus, being outgoing can help you in your career. When you are outgoing, you can build great relationships with people because you are willing to open up.

Tying It Together


Introverts can be social, just give yourself the chance if you happen to be one. Take time to develop your social skills, and practice having conversations with people. You May meet some great people! Now, get out there and do your thing. You can do it!

 

Views expressed in this article are the author’s opinions and do not necessarily reflect the views of Secure Single. It is intended for informational and educational purposes only. It is not investment or financial advice. James Bollen is the author of Thriving Solo: How to Flourish and Live Your Perfect Life (Without A Soulmate). Now available in paperback and for the Kindle on Amazon. Subscribe to Secure Single’s Substack for free!

Whoopi Goldberg Explains Why Women Prefer Being Single

Whoopi Goldberg on The View summarized a recent survey that found 61% of women prefer being single than to be in a relationship. The same survey found that only 49% of men prefer to be single.

The View hosts speculated that the reason why women prefer being single is because they are generally better able to take care of themselves and their living area while men generally learn those skills later in life. While it may be true that men may have more difficulty in learning to how clean and to care of their living space, it is a skill that can be learned by single men. Singles, both men and women, should know how to do basic household chores and how to shop for one person so they have the freedom of the single life.

“As it turns out, I am not normal and that is something that I have come to accept.” – Whoopi Goldberg

Whoopi Goldberg is correct. There is nothing wrong with being single, but society pressures singles to get married to feel normal and to be accepted by society. However, being single is becoming the new normal as people continue to delay marriage or decide that they do not want to get married. The single life is a good fulfilling life.
Views expressed in this article are the author’s opinions and do not necessarily reflect the views of Secure Single. It is intended for informational and educational purposes only. It is not investment or financial advice. James Bollen is the author of Thriving Solo: How to Flourish and Live Your Perfect Life (Without A Soulmate). Now available in paperback and for the Kindle on Amazon. Subscribe to Secure Single’s Substack for free!

Basic Self Defense Every Single Needs To Know

Knowing how to take care of yourself includes knowing how to defend yourself. Both women and men need to know the basics of self-defense in order to be more aware of their surroundings and their safety. We like to think all things are pretty safe, but there are multiple instances that surface on the news and media of people who have been assaulted in both private and public settings. Start to study the basics, practice them, and learn them to arm yourself with knowledge. Your skills may become useful when a situation arises.

Krav Maga Style

The most practiced method for self defense is the Krav Maga. According to the Krav Maga Institute, it is the official hand-to-hand combat system of the Israeli Defense Forces, where quick counter-attacks and brutal offensive techniques make it the ideal fighting style for dangerous and unexpected situations. This style of self-defense is the preferred system for U.S. military and law enforcement personnel.

5 Basic Self-Defense Moves

  1. Open hand strike.
  2. Kick to the groin.
  3. 360 or outside defense.
  4. Handbag grab or any aggressive grab.
  5. Attack from the ground.

Keep Yourself In Shape

In prepping to learn self-defense, I recommend taking professional classes from a self defense instructor alongside with working out at least 5 days a week. In your workouts, you should alternate running and lifting weights, this will help you body be in really good shape when you go to learn the self-defense techniques. Just like brushing your teeth, you will have to get into the habit of working out. It will keep you healthy. Workouts should be an hour or longer where you sweat hard and also get sore muscles, of course this is just what I recommend. Hiring a lifting trainer for the first month may be beneficial to you in order to learn how to do the techniques correctly.  Take care of your body, and it will take care of you. Your results from your workouts will build your self esteem.

Keep Your Mind Sharp

Media can be very influential, and that is why you will want to follow athletic men and women on social media. Watch YouTube videos of people who teach self-defense. You may learn new techniques from other people’s perspectives. You may also want to read a book on self defense. The physical aspect of self defense is just one part. Your mind is actually part of self-defense. By keeping on top of the latest media on self-defense, you can pair a strong mind with a strong body.

When you arm yourself with knowledge, you can be better equipped for most situations. Knowing self-defense is a very useful skill and can help protect you should the need arise. Keep current on your training, and read about self-defense as much as you can. You owe it to yourself to become even better at taking care of yourself. Go for more, you’re worth it!

Views expressed in this article are the author’s opinions and do not necessarily reflect the views of Secure Single. It is intended for informational and educational purposes only. It is not investment or financial advice. James Bollen is the author of Thriving Solo: How to Flourish and Live Your Perfect Life (Without A Soulmate). Now available in paperback and for the Kindle on Amazon. Subscribe to Secure Single’s Substack for free!
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