Trina sings about being single again in her hit “I’m single again.” And with over 7 million views, you know you’re one of literally millions. Whether you’re a newly single man at 40 or a woman in her 50s who is single again for the thirteenth time, being a secure single, you’ve probably had your fair share of single life whether you like it or not. When the breakup wounds are fresh, life can seem downtrodden for sure. There are lots of questions.
How did I end up single again?
Well, there could be lots of reasons you’re single again, and it’s probably not even your fault. Or at least that’s what we like to tell ourselves after it happens. Especially if we’re the ones, who got dumped. Let’s take it from a man’s perspective first. At Marie Claire, there were several reasons listed why a guy could break up with you.
Why did he break up with me?
You both want different things, or you’re just not at the same place in your life. Maybe you don’t trust him, and he can’t handle that so you’re single again. There could be an emotional or even physical affair that played a part of the breakup with either of you.
Maybe your core values aren’t lined up. Like you want kids, and he doesn’t. Or you want to get married, and he wants to get freaky with more than one person. Of course, there is some overlap when it comes to women breaking up with men. So let’s go there now.
Why did she break up with me?
You cheated, you don’t follow through, or you try to fix things when she just wants you to listen. Maybe she doesn’t feel connected because you don’t look her in the eyes when you talk and you’re single again. Or perhaps you treat her like she’s your mom instead of her lover. It could be that her friends or family don’t like you.
There are plenty of reasons why people break up, and you’re left wondering how do I get used to being single?
If you’re scared to be single or are just confused about being newly single there’s no time like Valentine’s Day to learn more about relationships (and why they never seem to work out). That’s why I became a dating coach. I had some many relationships and breakups I lost count.
You might think being single again is the end of your social life, but it can just the beginning
When you’re down— the only place to go is up. Unless you need to lie in bed for a couple of days and cry some gut-wrenching tears. And when you do cry it can help you feel better. According to Judith Orloff’s article “The Healing Power of Tears,” Biochemist and “tear expert,” Dr. William Frey said emotional tear contain stress hormones and toxins. You’ll also get the benefit of releases endorphins which are feel-good hormones.
So being single on Valentine’s Day doesn’t mean you have to go out and have a get drunk blowout with your compadres. If you’re newly single after long term relationship makes sure you take it easy on yourself. You don’t have to go out just to show your friends you’re doing “great” after your breakup.
When you’re newly single, it’s perfectly reasonable to shut yourself in for a while, just make sure you don’t miss out on the rest of your life. Give crying a try and have a cuppa tea. There can be a joy after being single again, and with the help of a Secure Single, you can have a place to turn to get the best advice so you can live your very best single life!
Lots of Love,
Dina Colada is a contributing author at Secure Single LLC. You can connect with her at DinaColada.com for loads of dating advice and profile makeovers or on Instagram.