These are fifteen habits to build wealth for singles. These habits affect different areas of your life. If you start to implement them, you can build wealth over time.
15 Habits To Build Wealth For Singles
Live Below Your Means
First, live below your means. This will allow you to save more money. You must know what it costs to live each month for your necessities. There is nothing wrong with driving a used car, renting a smaller apartment than you can afford, or living with your parents if it is a step to help you toward financial freedom.
[bctt tweet=”It is fine to live below your means. Popular culture and social media messages tell you always to have the latest, greatest, or biggest thing. ” username=”@secure_single”]
Track Your Expenses
Second, track your expenses and follow a budget. When you know where your money goes, you are less likely to waste your money on things you do not need.
A 2019 survey found that Americans spend at least $18,000 yearly on non-essential costs. It has also been found that Americans spend over $300 a month on impulse purchases. So many Americans spend on non-essential items and impulse purchases because they must follow a budget and track their expenses.
You can also follow simple methods like the using the envelope method. You use different envelopes to break your expenses into categories: groceries, utilities, entertainment, et cetera.
Recommended – Self-Validation For Singles
Lifestyle Inflation
Third, be aware of lifestyle inflation. While inflation continues to be a problem and is likely not going away anytime soon, lifestyle inflation is another problem. You do not need to keep up with the Kardashians, the Joneses, or your neighbors. You may have a neighbor that looks like he has his life together.
He may have a nice house in a great neighborhood while driving an expensive car, but he may be in debt to pay for it. While his lifestyle looks nice, he cannot afford his lifestyle. Many people do this to make themselves look better to their friends.
You do not need a fancy house or fancy cars to live. That is just the lifestyle glamorized by movies and social media influencers.
[bctt tweet=”You don’t need to keep up with others. There is no reason for you to try to please people. Living within your means and focusing on reaching your goals is best.” username=”@secure_single”]
Being Cheap Versus Frugal
Fourth, understand the difference between being cheap versus being frugal. There is a vital difference between being cheap and being frugal. When you are cheap, you eliminate things from your life that could help to improve your productivity, efficiency, and quality of life. Frugality is simply cutting out the things that you do not need from your life.
When you are frugal, your spending and budgeting habits help you reach your financial goals. You also want to consider the long-term life of your purchases. This can help you decide if it may be worth investing more money to buy from a brand or product with a reputation for lasting longer.
It is up to you to figure out what things are worth investing more. There are certain areas of life where you may decide to upgrade while you are OK with buying a less expensive product or service in another area.
Avoid Debt
Fifth, avoid debt. The financial system is a debt-based model, which means it wants to get as many people into debt as possible to keep the system going. Many of the common ways that the system gets people into debt are:
- Student loans by going to college.
- Credit cards.
- Car loans.
- Mortgage.
- Buy now, pay later, where someone pays for something in parts.
The problem is that depending on where you may live, you need to know the basic costs of living each year. Your essential costs are food, energy, and housing.
These are seven steps to get out of debt if you have debt.
Don’t Max Out Your Credit Cards
Sixth, don’t max out your credit cards. Credit cards are convenient. Yet, the high-interest rates quickly add up, which can make you into debt if you do not pay your credit card off each month. It is in the credit card company’s interest that you continue to borrow rather than pay in cash. The primary way that credit card companies make money is by charging interest and having many different types of credit card fees. This is why credit card companies want you to sign up for a new credit card or will raise your maximum amount each year.
Credit card companies also entice you to use their service by saying you get airline miles, discounts, and other conveniences. It could be beneficial if you use the things already that the companies use to sign up for their card and pay your credit card off each month. Otherwise, credit cards are a way to make you spend money you don’t have and spend more than you allocate each month with your budget.
[bctt tweet=”It is best to follow a budget and limit your use of credit cards. You could only pay for things in cash or with a debit card. ” username=”@secure_single”]
Self-Learning
Seventh, focus on self-learning. Self-education is the most important thing that anyone can do. However, this is looked down upon in a society that encourages people to attend college. The foundation of the education system is obedience and respect for authority.
Self-learning is what most millionaires and people who started their businesses did. Instead of going through college, most dropped out of college or never attended college. They found another way by discovering what they enjoyed learning about, then found a problem that needed a solution.
There are many ways to learn today that will be less than the cost of attending college. You can read a book. You can read an article on a website. You can watch videos or listen to a podcast on a topic you find interesting.
[bctt tweet=”You want to find ways to apply your skills and use them to increase your income. ” username=”@secure_single”]
Recommended: 12 Reasons Why Young People Should Not Go To College
Create Multiple Income Streams
Eighth, work to create multiple income streams. You can find ways to create multiple income streams. The traditional way has been to invest in the stock market. However, you can build income streams today using the Internet in many ways.
The reason why it is critical to build multiple income streams is so that you can become financially resilient. Some ways that you can make income streams include:
- You could self-publish and write a book.
- You could write a workbook or journal.
- You could start a newsletter on Substack.
- You could start a YouTube Channel.
- You could create merchandise to sell for your business or something you want.
- You could sell jewelry or other crafts on Etsy.
- You could create a digital course to sell.
The bottom line is that there are plenty of ways to make new income streams to help you become more financially resilient. Some of these even are passive income streams. You can then direct the extra money you make to invest into starting a business, reinvesting into another product, or investing in the stock market or real estate.
Understand Your Taxes
Ninth, understand your taxes. You want to understand your taxes to find ways to save more of your money legally. This will mean that you will determine where your dollar goes rather than the government deciding where your tax dollars will be spent.
The IRS takes away a third of your earned income each year. That means the first four months of every year is money the government takes from you. None of the money you make during those four months goes into your pocket.
Death and taxes may be the only sure things in life, but you can take steps to keep more of your money:
- You can see if your company provides a 401(k). This can help to reduce your taxable income by the total amount you invest into your employer’s 401(k).
- Tax loss harvesting – If you made some investments that have gone south and don’t think you will be able to profit from them, you could sell. This will help offset the other gains you made in the stock market and reduce the taxes you must pay.
- If you want to start a business, consider incorporating it as an LLC, S- Corporation, or a C-Corporatio It will depend upon the business venture and if you will have a business partner(s). Each of them has different business structures. As a business owner, you can find ways to reduce your liabilities while protecting yourself legally.
These are perfectly legal ways to save more of your money that can help you build wealth. You must have a good accountant, especially if you are a business owner.
Retirement Accounts
Tenth, learn about the types of retirement accounts. Different types of retirement accounts are another common strategy you can use to invest in your future. You can utilize these accounts to reduce and defer your tax liabilities. These are five common types of retirement accounts:
- Individual Retirement Account (IRA) – An IRA is a tax-favored account that allows you to invest in stocks, mutual funds, ETFs, bonds, and other investments. You can contribute up to $6,000. If you are 50 or older, you can contribute up to $7,000.
- Roth IRA – You can invest up to $6,500 a year, and the amount you invest in that account is tax-free at 59.5. Contributions to a Roth IRA are made from after-tax dollars, and any profit from a Roth IRA will never be taxed again.
- Traditional 401(k) – You can contribute a maximum of $22,500 a year into a 401k. You will not be taxed on the money you contribute to a 401(k) until you reach the age of 59.5. You are deferring taxes with each contribution each year which helps you to save money long term.
- Self-directed IRA (SDIRA) – A self-directed IRA allows you to invest in a private company or real estate. You can get a higher rate of return along with greater diversification with a self-directed IRA. You must also have a custodian with a self-directed IRA. While you can get a higher return with a self-directed IRA, you have more risks.
- Health Savings Account – A health savings account can help cover medical expenses. Any contributions, withdrawals, and appreciation are tax-free with a health savings account. You will want to make sure that you are eligible before you apply. The maximum you are allowed to contribute to an HSA is $3,650.
Between these five retirement account options, you are potentially removing tax liability on upwards of $32,850 a year. That money can is then saved and compounded over time as you put money into the account for when you reach 59.5. The result is a large sum of money to help you during retirement.
Move To A Less Expensive State Or Country
Eleventh, you could also move to a less expensive state or country. This relates to point number two. You could live in a costly city or move to a less expensive state.
You can save on income taxes by moving to a more tax-friendly state. You can also save on property taxes. Some of the top tax-friendly states are:
- Florida
- Wyoming
- Texas
- Tennessee
- North Dakota
- South Dakotas
- Nevada
- Louisiana
- Alabama
- Oklahoma
You could also decide to move to another country. I discuss why it is good to have a Plan B in my post on the Five Flags Theory. The simple answer is that you can have a second residency outside of your home country, have a second passport, and reduce your cost of living. This could also be used to triage the dollar while it remains the world’s reserve currency to enjoy a higher standard of living abroad that you may be unable to enjoy in the United States.
Recommended – 3 Ways To Increase Your Value As A Single Person
Plan For The Worst
Twelfth, plan for the worst. You can plan for the worst by being prepared as possible. While many people do not enjoy paying for insurance, it can help cover themselves for an unplanned disaster.
Regular tracking and planning help to mitigate disasters. You can apply risk mitigation to different areas:
- You can see a doctor regularly and have your insurance cover part of it.
- Another option for a traditional doctor is a naturopath. A naturopath will work to find natural solutions to resolve your health issues so that you can eventually stop popping your prescription pills.
- You can continue to make yourself more valuable to your employer by studying for certifications, arriving on time, and showing your employer that you want to move up in the company and industry.
- If you have reached the top of your field, you could move to a different area or consider starting your own business.
- You can ensure your car is in peak condition by servicing it regularly.
- You can ensure that your car is adequately insured, and you can have AAA insurance in case your car breaks down for some reason.
- You can get house insurance to cover your house. It will usually cover the estimated value of the items and the value of your home. You can also obtain flood insurance if you live in an area where you experience floods.
- You can find an insurance agent and talk to them to get a plan that meets your specific needs.
- You can have an emergency fund to cover a year’s worth of expenses. I like to call an FU fund so you can still cover your expenses for a year in case an emergency happens or you need to find a new job.
You can schedule a time to have these done each year so that they are automated. You can set them on your calendar and forget about them. You will receive an alert on your phone, email, or computer reminding you of your appointment.
Value Your Health
Thirteenth, value your health. Like self-education, your health plays a critical role in maintaining wealth. There is a saying that your health is your wealth. Some ways to pay better attention to your health include following a diet, drinking enough water daily, and exercising. You can use a water filter to filter out chemicals and toxins in the water, and you could use something like a Burkey water filter.
You could switch from regular fruits, vegetables, and meats to organic or locally grown foods. This will decrease your exposure to chemicals in the food you buy at the grocery store.
You could resolve specific health problems, and it could be as simple as losing weight and regularly going for walks or the gym. A regular doctor won’t discuss these options, but alternative medical professionals can help you to find ways to resolve your health issues naturally. This could end up helping you to save money so that you are on fewer prescriptions and could help to decrease your health insurance costs.
Set Goals
Fourteenth, set goals. You want to set goals for yourself. Your goals will depend on your interests and what you want your future to look like. SMART goals are an excellent way to develop a goal you want to reach. SMART stands for:
- Specific
- Measurable
- Achievable
- Relevant
- Time-bound
You want to create a specific goal that you can achieve over a set period of time. This will allow you to determine if you are successful or not. You can then have different types of goals:
- Short-term goals
- Medium-term goals
- Long-term goals
[bctt tweet=”Short-term and long-term goals overlap to increase productivity. ” username=”@secure_single”]
Plan For Your Future
Finally, plan for your future. If you don’t have a plan, you will be part of someone else’s agenda. It is that simple. You must have a plan, and you must have goals. Some things may delay when you can achieve a goal, but it does not prevent you from finishing what you set out to achieve.
You can start right now to make a plan to improve your financial future. It could be coming up with a strategy to leave the job you hate. It could be working to make a second or third-income stream. You may decide that you want to start your own business.
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Summary
These habits can help singles build wealth. It takes time to build wealth. Most people want to get rich quickly without realizing that it took most millionaires and billionaires time to build up their net worth to where it is today. It took them time and resources to create a business, or businesses, that produced products or services that people wanted that made them wealthy.
Views expressed in this article are the author’s opinions and do not necessarily reflect the views of Secure Single. It is intended for informational and educational purposes only. It is not investment or financial advice. James Bollen is the author of Thriving Solo: How to Flourish and Live Your Perfect Life (Without A Soulmate). Now available in paperback and for the Kindle on Amazon. Subscribe to Secure Single’s Substack for free!
The message that popular culture sends is for singles to find their soulmate. Society overemphasizes romantic relationships and external validation. When you focus on external validation, you care more about what people think about you instead of reaching your goals. Self-validation is the answer for singles.
Self-Validation For Singles
Society Focuses On External Validation
There are six ways that society wants you to focus on to receive external validation. These distract you from being able to improve yourself.
Relationships
Relationships can be distractions. That can be true for both friendship and romantic relationships. When you get your value from others, you allow yourself to more easily succumb to pressure to do things you may not want. You will find yourself doing things you may not otherwise have done to seek another person’s approval.
Social Pressure
Society wants you to fall for social pressure. This pressure can come from relationships with people who you put on a pedestal and who tell you what to do. These people include celebrities, influencers, and politicians. It can also come from friends and loved ones.
[bctt tweet=”Social pressure is a form of conformity. It is best to go against the crowd.” username=”@secure_single”]
Entertainment
You can be distracted today in many ways that take away your valuable time and attention. Social media, video games, and streaming videos, and reading or watching the news are forms of entertainment. These distract you from being able to be productive.
Being A Consumer
As a consumer, you receive value from the things you buy. You think you must always have the latest tech gadget, clothes, or items being marketed to you on social media or by a podcast.
Another way that is done is that you think you must be like the Kardashians, Joneses, or your neighbors who have cool cars and live in nice houses. You think you must have the same lifestyle as someone else even if you cannot afford it. This makes you a consumer of things that you cannot afford. You then go into debt.
Victim Mentality
The victim mentality is a negative source of external validation. Instead of receiving your value directly from something, you receive it from something you don’t have. You think you are a victim because you don’t have or claim not to have the same things as others (rights, money, status, rights, or whatever is considered a current problem).
People with a victim mentality claim victimhood status and push off self-responsibility to someone else to solve a problem. The problem could be real, imaginary, or made up to push an agenda. By doing this, people refuse to change their mindset from a negative mindset of victimhood to a positive growth mindset. This makes people think they are victims, mainly because they were taught it going through the higher education system or listening to an influencer say they are a victim. They cannot better themselves.
This then creates a death spiral where you cannot improve your life. You think the things popular culture says are a part of society make you a victim. You remain in a continual state of victimhood rather than improving yourself. You buy the lies that society tells you.
Attention
You choose where to direct your attention. You can choose to direct it and receive it from things externally or focus on internal validation. When you focus on something, you give someone or something your time. Your time and attention are valuable.
4 Ways Singles Can Experience Self-Validation
These are four essential ways that singles can experience self-validation.
Self-Confidence
Self-confidence is critical. Without self-confidence, you will likely find yourself being a people pleaser. If you are not confident, you won’t stand up for yourself. Self-confidence and standing up for yourself can help you in many areas of your life.
You will be more willing to take risks and do things independently when you are confident that your actions are correct. Some people may tell you what you are doing is crazy or out of line because they don’t think it will succeed. Your confidence will help you to succeed.
Priority Management
You can start to manage your priorities. When you manage your priorities better, you will make better use of your time each day. What you prioritize becomes your time. You will manage what you give your attention to.
[bctt tweet=”The combination of being aware of your priorities, time, and attention can help you achieve success.” username=”@secure_single”]
Goals
You can reach your goals when you make better use of your priorities. You will determine the most critical priorities needed to achieve an ambition. You will start to become more confident as you realize an objective. It is up to you to set goals to increase your value as a single person.
[bctt tweet=”You can work both hard and smart to achieve your goals. Success does not happen overnight.” username=”@secure_single”]
Celebrate Your Achievements
When you reach a goal, you can celebrate your achievement. There is nothing wrong with celebrating an accomplishment for the hard work, time, and energy it took to accomplish something you wanted. Celebrating accomplishments is healthy. Gamification is psychologically rewarding. Gamification taps into intrinsic value by helping to build your self-esteem and self-confidence. It can help you to want to reach your goals when you celebrate both your small and large wins.
Recommended: How Self-Discipline Can Improve Your Life
Summary
It would help to decide where you want your validation to come from. It can come from other people. Or, it can come from you reaching your goals. You can also choose to have a victim mindset or a growth mindset. It is up to you.
Views expressed in this article are the author’s opinions and do not necessarily reflect the views of Secure Single. It is intended for informational and educational purposes only. It is not investment or financial advice. James Bollen is the author of Thriving Solo: How to Flourish and Live Your Perfect Life (Without A Soulmate). Now available in paperback and for the Kindle on Amazon. Subscribe to Secure Single’s Substack for free!
How does mindset affect success? More than you may think. What you think about directly connects to how you view the world and whether you can achieve success. Three main minds affect whether or not you succeed. Two are harmful and affect you psychologically, holding you back from success; the third can help lead you to success. This is how mindset affects success.
How Mindset Affects Success
Victim Mindset
[bctt tweet=”There are three common mindsets: victim mindset, fixed mindset, and growth mindset. ” username=”@secure_single”]
First is the victim mindset. The person who has a victim mindset believes that they are a victim. Someone may claim to be a victim for real, imaginary, or made up to push an agenda. No matter which of the three reasons it may be, the person ultimately chooses to be a victim.
They consider themselves to be the victims of actions by others. The actions may or may not directly affect them, but they claim victimhood.
Some common signs of the victim mindset include:
- You always claim victimhood and claim to be a victim of something.
- Real
- Imagined
- Made up to push an agenda.
- You blame others for your problems.
- You enjoy sharing your tragic stories with others to get a reaction from them.
- You refuse to improve your life because you believe you are a victim.
Those who have a victim mindset then want the wrong to be corrected, most often through coercion through an institution, particularly government laws, and regulations. Rather than finding a way to deal with the problem themselves, they often want to use force on another person or organization that disagrees with them.
The victim mindset has become popular today because if you claim victimhood for something, you can gain the acceptance of popular culture and a segment of the population. This can then be used as social currency within those circles.
An example of the victim mindset may be if you are poor, you blame income inequality or things that may contribute to income inequality. You continue to blame external things (wealthy people, central banks, cost of living) to claim victimhood status instead of finding ways to stop being poor. Deep inside, you may secretly enjoy the attention that being a victim gets you from others.
The victim mindset is different from the fixed mindset in that the person always thinks they are a victim, while someone with a fixed mindset believes they cannot do something.
Fixed Mindset
The second is the fixed mindset. Someone who has a fixed mindset thinks they can’t do something. They either continue to make excuses or believe they can’t learn a new skill. They suffer from can’t syndrome. Rather than thinking that they can learn a new skill or improve themselves, people with a fixed mindset remain stuck where they are.
The fixed mindset is the one that is most often taught in the education system. Students are taught that there is only one way to solve a problem. They can either pass or fail a test. They want to get good grades to please their professor and get recommendations for when they apply for jobs after college.
Some signs that you have a fixed mindset include:
- You give up easily.
- You expect rewards without effort.
- They want to be rewarded without putting in the hard work.
- You allow setbacks to get in your way of finishing something.
- You believe that you have failed, so you stop.
An example of a fixed mindset is someone who says they can’t make more money. They make up excuses for not finding ways to increase their income. A person with a fixed mindset continues complaining rather than actively finding ways to make extra money or new income streams. They get in their own way.
A critical difference between the fixed and growth mindsets is that someone with the fixed mindset believes they cannot better themselves. They repeatedly say that they can’t do something.
Growth Mindset
Third is the growth mindset. People with a growth mindset challenge themselves to learn new things and skills, and they focus on self-improvement.
Some signs of the growth mindset are:
- You embrace challenges.
- You accept constructive criticism and negative feedback.
- You equate rewards with the effort you put into a project.
- You learn from your failures.
- You never give up.
An example is someone who is poor. Instead of blaming something external or thinking they can’t do something, they will find a way to make more money and increase their income. They could start a side hustle, get a second or third job, or learn to make passive income. They will put in the time and work to achieve their goal of wanting to make more money.
[bctt tweet=”A growth mindset can help you solve problems, achieve goals, and get where you want to be. It would help if you took action, did not give up, and did not expect to be rewarded unless you did the work. ” username=”@secure_single”]
Recommended – How To Use Failure As A Learning Experience
Summary
There are three common mindsets: victim mindset, fixed mindset, and growth mindset. It is up to you to decide which one you want to affect your psychology and life. You can change your mindset, but it will take time.
Subscribe to Secure Single’s Substack to get more powerful self-development strategies.
These are three ways to increase your value as a single person. The critical point is that your value does not come from a romantic relationship or other people.
3 Ways To Increase Your Value As A Single Person
Internal Validation
[bctt tweet=”Internal validation is more important than external validation. ” username=”@secure_single”]
First, you should focus on internal validation, not external validation. Society wants you to focus on external validation through dating and gaining value from others. It can also come by getting likes on your social media posts. You may think you must keep up with the Kardashians and Joneses,’ but there is no need to.
Internal validation is the opposite. You get internal validation when you set and achieve goals. You can receive internal validation when you complete a project. You focus on improving yourself in every area of your life, from your health to relationships to finances. It is up to you to become the best version of yourself. You are the only one who knows what your goals are. It is up to you to reach your goals.
Self-Education
Second, you can focus on self-education. Education does not come from receiving a fancy overpriced piece of paper by attending a university. It comes from you learning about the things that you are interested in learning about. It does not matter what it may be. It has become easier and less expensive to learn as a result of the Internet. You can now learn from people who have a track record and can present information to you that you would otherwise not have come across by reading articles online, watching videos, pictures, pdfs, and purchasing digital courses.
You know what you’re interested in. If you do not, you can learn. What you are passionate about can help you in other areas. Today, you can even find ways to monetize your interests and skills with the Internet.
[bctt tweet=”The best investment is in yourself. The best education is your own education. Never stop learning!” username=”@secure_single”]
Increase Your Income
Third, find ways to increase your income. Inflation is not going away. You better plan to find ways to deal with that issue by building more income streams.
The traditional options are to get a second or third job, but you will continue to trade your time for money with that option. Another strategy is to find ways to make passive income. Passive income streams do take longer to build. But you only need to create them once. You can then continue to add to them. Some passive income streams include:
- Advertising revenue by running ads on a website, YouTube Channel, and other platforms where you can run ads.
- Affiliate marketing. You can find products and services that meet the need of your audience and customers.
- Self-publish an e-book and book on Amazon.
- You can create and sell your own products or services.
- There are lots of options to do this through the Internet today.
It is ultimately up to you to determine what best works for you. What worked for someone else likely won’t work for you since they have a different skill set. You must know your strengths starting out. Once you have a team around you, you can scale up faster.
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Summary
Society wants you to be distracted and get your attention from others. The critical point is that your self-worth does not come from others or social media. You can get validation by reaching your goals. You can then find ways to learn new skills online to continue to develop. Rather than allowing your income to remain stagnant, you can work to find ways to create passive income streams.
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Society says you must date and marry, but everyone is single: here’s why!
Everyone’s Single: Here’s Why
[bctt tweet=”Everyone is born single. Everyone dies single. It is up to you to decide what happens in the period between your life and death.” username=”@secure_single”]
Everyone is single because everyone is born single. Everyone dies single. It does not matter if you date or marry. You may have some relationships between birth and death. Everyone is, first and foremost, an individual.
You are two separate people. Even if you are dating or married. Each person must deal with unique wants, needs, and problems. That fact does not go away no matter what society may tell you.
It is up to you to make the most of your time on earth as an individual. You can choose to let life go by or be a person of action. It is up to every single person to decide how they want to live their life.
You will also die alone. If you are lucky, you may die with some loved ones beside you. You cannot take the things you have in this world, including any loved ones. From dust, you were made, and to dust, you shall return.
For these reasons, making the most of every day is critical.
Carpe Diem (Seize The Day)
Since you are born single and die single, you can begin to seize the day. You can live by starting to capture every moment of every day. The best way to start this is to practice self-discipline, learn time management skills, and work to achieve your life goals.
It is up to you to take control of your life and realize your goals. No one else will do it for you. You must practice self-discipline, accept self-responsibility, and learn time management skills to get what you want.
Self-Discipline
You can start by taking action rather than watching life go by. That will require you to practice self-discipline. You do not have a schedule for your day when you are undisciplined or have plans for your life. This is why self-discipline is critical. You can start small until discipline becomes a habit. Some small ways to practice self-discipline include: writing down three to ten tasks you want to get down each day, going to bed and waking up at consistent times, writing down goals you want to achieve, and coming up with a plan to realize your goals.
There is an overlap between self-discipline and time management. The first example will be explained further below.
Self-Responsibility
You can then start to take self-responsibility for your life. Society wants to make people dependent upon “authorities,” “leaders,” and “experts.” They do what other people tell them to do. This makes people think that they do not need to accept responsibility. They can go through life without any consequences.
You can start to take responsibility for your life. When you start to take accountability, you will start to surprise yourself with what you can do. You will begin reaching the goals you wrote down but forgot about. You will eventually start to be able to do the things you want to do. You will begin to become creative rather than doing what you are told. Some things which can come from starting to trust in yourself are:
- Find ways to create passive income.
- Lose weight and reach your gym goals.
- Decide to eliminate toxic and negative people and surround yourself with people who share your interests and values.
- Start to focus on internal validation.
- Practice self-control to help you to reach your goals.
Time Management
Time management is also vital since we have the same twenty-four hours a day and three-hundred-and-sixty-five days a year. It is up to you to decide how to use your precious seconds of every day. You can use your time to improve yourself or remain stuck where you are.
An excellent strategy to better use your time is to list daily tasks. This will help you to follow a schedule. You can start small by aiming to achieve three goals during your day. You could begin by waking up earlier, working on something that will improve your life in some way (find ways to increase your income, regularly exercise, et cetera), and running any errands you may have to do. Waking up earlier and going to bed later will give you more hours in your day, allowing you to get more tasks done. You can make your schedule of things to do each day. You can then also break your time into seven categories:
- Top three priorities for tomorrow (feel free to add more).
- Tasks for me to do tomorrow.
- Your to-do list with everything that you need to get done.
- Tasks that I need to do soon.
- It’s unimportant and can be done when I get to it.
- Your shopping list.
- You can write down any notes which will help you.
Memento Mori (Remember You Will Die)
It is also critical for you to remember that you are mortal. One of my favorite reflections is memento mori which translates to “Remember you will die.” You do not know when you will die. It could be today, tonight, tomorrow, or sometime in the future. You do not know.
[bctt tweet=”You must make the most of your life and achieve your goals until you draw your final breath.” username=”@secure_single”]
Recommended – The Power Of The Disagreeable Personality
Summary
It is natural to be single, and this is because everyone is, first and foremost, an individual. You do have relationships with people in your daily life, from acquaintances to family, but you are the one who is responsible for making decisions. Your choices will directly affect you.
That is why it is vital to begin to value your time, practice self-discipline, and self-responsibility to help you to achieve your goals.
Views expressed in this article are the author’s opinions and do not necessarily reflect the views of Secure Single. It is intended for informational and educational purposes only. It is not investment or financial advice. James Bollen is the author of Thriving Solo: How to Flourish and Live Your Perfect Life (Without A Soulmate). Now available in paperback and for the Kindle on Amazon. Subscribe to Secure Single’s Substack for free!
[bctt tweet=”There are three main ways to learn: from history, from others, and your mistakes.” username=”@secure_single”]
The third way is the most challenging way to learn, but it often makes you learn your lesson so that you then want to learn from the first two in the future.
Failure is the best teacher because you decide to confront and learn from your failure or continue to repeat your mistakes. If you intend to learn from your failures, you are on your self-improvement journey. Many stories show how failure can help you discover what you want to do and what you are passionate about.
These are five ways how to use failure as a learning experience.
Jacob Warwick’s Story
Jacob Warwick is one story. He had no idea what he wanted to do after graduating high school. Warwick found himself always working odd jobs and hours to pay his bills. He was an entry-level journalist at NBC News in his early 20s. He later learned video editing, which taught him about digital marketing at Discovery.
He eventually landed the marketing strategist role through hard work, determination, and learning digital marketing strategy by working for many startups. He ultimately found himself working in Silicon Valley, where Xerox hired him as a young director of marketing.
Jacob Warwick would later go on to become the CEO and co-founder of Discover Podium. He went from working odd jobs and having no idea what he would do to having a company that makes millions of dollars in revenue. Warwick discovered that his passion was digital marketing, to use his marketing talent later to connect people and leaders with jobs they love doing.
Failure can help you in the same way if you learn from your failures.
5 Ways How To Use Failure As A Learning Experience
Teaches You What Not To Do
First, failure teaches you what not to do. You can decipher what you should not do because you could not complete the task, project, or skills you were working toward. You may not be suited for what you were trying to do. Or, maybe you were going about it incorrectly and needed to find another way.
Rather than remaining stuck in your ways, you need to find a solution. Whatever you were doing was not working, and you had to find a creative solution to resolve the problem that was giving you trouble.
Learn From Past Failures
Second, you can learn from your past failures. Rather than viewing your failures as something you could not do, you can view them as a chance to learn more about yourself. You may not be the best at whatever you are working on. That may be a sign that you should move on to something else.
Learning from your failures instead of being angry about your mistakes shows maturity.
Give You Ideas For What To Do
Third, your failures may give you ideas for improving yourself or a project you are working on. You will have tried things that you know you are not good at, don’t enjoy, and don’t have the skills to do. This could eventually keep pushing you by giving you ideas to try something different until you discover what you are passionate about it and skilled at.
Better Version Of A Project
Fourth, failure can help you make a better version. You may have to go through one-hundred different versions of the same project to create the final rendition finally. The first version of something is always flawed. The same applies to learning from mistakes and failures.
[bctt tweet=”Each mistake is an opportunity to learn from and to work to improve yourself.” username=”@secure_single”]
Make You Not Want To Repeat Past Mistakes
Finally, failure makes you want to avoid repeating past mistakes. You will want to prevent yourself from repeating your past failures. You will remember what your core failures were. After learning from your mistakes, you will take precautions to ensure they do not happen again. You will learn better habits, organization skills, or anything to limit your chances of failing.
Failure Teaches You Success
Failure can teach you success. Once you have learned from your mistakes, you know what not to do. If you are willing to learn, mistakes can benefit your future. That knowledge can help you in future projects so that you know the best practices rather than doing things incorrectly.
The lessons from past failures can be used as a ladder to work your way up to success or choose to stop. You learn resiliency by not giving up and learning from your mistakes. Determination is a characteristic of many successful people. You can continue despite your failures until you can solve the problem you have been trying to resolve.
Recommended – What Is Self-Confidence And Why Is It Important?
Summary
There is nothing wrong with failure. It is one of the three main ways how you learn. Failure can be the most demanding teacher, but it can teach you excellent lessons if you are willing to pay attention. You can then apply those lessons to other areas of your life.
Views expressed in this article are the author’s opinions and do not necessarily reflect the views of Secure Single. It is intended for informational and educational purposes only. It is not investment or financial advice. James Bollen is the author of Thriving Solo: How to Flourish and Live Your Perfect Life (Without A Soulmate). Now available in paperback and for the Kindle on Amazon. Subscribe to Secure Single’s Substack for free!
How can self-confidence help you? Why do you want to be confident? What is self-confidence and why is it important?
Society does not want you to be confident because you are easier to control. When you have self-confidence, you will stand up to authorities and know you can do what you want. Self-confidence is freeing.
What Is Self-Confidence And Why Is It Important?
What Is Self-Confidence?
[bctt tweet=”Self-confidence is belief in oneself. Self-confidence is having or showing great faith in oneself or one’s ability.” username=”@secure_single”]
When you believe in yourself, you will more likely stand up for yourself and achieve your goals.
You will allow other people to trample over you when you do not have confidence.
Self-confidence is a form of internal validation. You validate yourself each time you improve yourself in little ways. Confidence is critical in self-development and helping you realize personal ambitions.
Why Is Self-Confidence Important?
When you lack confidence, it will be easier for people to use and manipulate you. You will also suffer from being a people pleaser and social conformity. Instead of having the confidence to stand up for yourself, toxic people know they can use you. You will do what they want because you haven’t learned to tell people “no” yet.
[bctt tweet=”Simply being able to tell someone “no” is a sign of self-confidence because you show that you value your time and can stand up for yourself.” username=”@secure_single”]
3 Reasons Why Self-Confidence Is Important
How Can Self-Confidence Help You
Self-confidence can help to better your life in many ways. These are three ways self-confidence can help you.
3 Ways How Self-Confidence Can Help You
Set And Achieve Goals
You will want to set and achieve goals. When you are confident, you can prioritize completing tasks that will help you to achieve goals. You can then work to accomplish the steps that must be done to realize your objective.
You can begin by setting realistic goals for yourself. It could be getting up each morning at 6 am. You can then work towards developing more advanced plans, such as I want to make six figures a year, then increase it to seven figures. I want to lose my belly fat.
You can learn how to become productive. You can create a schedule that will help you realize your objective. You can break your goals into short-term, medium-term, and long-term.
[bctt tweet=”You can then practice self-discipline and time management to achieve those goals. Before you know it, you will have accomplished your first goal.” username=”@secure_single”]
Stand Up For Yourself
You will start to stand up for yourself. You will stop letting other people use you and manipulate you. If you have been the person that allowed others to use you for too long, then once you start to stand up for yourself, you will feel much better.
You will primarily spend time with people who share your values and goals. You will only spend time with people you find interesting and working toward similar objectives. You will begin to slowly let the people who you longer find interesting or who are from your past fade away.
You can create boundaries with people. You will decide where to draw the line with toxic and negative people. Some toxic people you can eliminate from your life. There may be some negative people you may have to put up with at work or some social events, but you may be able to find ways to limit your interactions to the bare minimum.
You will start to tell people “no” and not allow people to push you around. This can help you to let manipulative and controlling people dictate your life. When you tell these types of people “no,” you can regain your precious time. You will then have more time to focus on yourself to achieve your goals.
[bctt tweet=”Taking back your life first requires you to stand up for yourself.” username=”@secure_single”]
Better Yourself
When you are confident, you will work to better yourself in every area of life. You are secure in who you are. You do not need validation from others. This can help to improve your health, relationships, and finances.
You will take more ownership of your health. You know that you can make a plan to deal with a health issue or to lose weight. You can do research online or meet with a professional. You will come up with a strategy to better yourself when it comes to your health.
You will start to take control of your relationships. You will eliminate toxic people who only add negativity to your life. You will become pickier about the people you spend time with. That is because you will value your time more. You will want to spend time with people working towards the same things.
You will work to come up with a plan when it comes to your finances. You may want to get out of debt. You may want to find ways to increase your income. You may want to make passive income. You may want to retire early.
[bctt tweet=”Self-confidence is the key to many things. Once you become confident, you will do things that you thought were impossible. You will begin to surprise yourself.” username=”@secure_single”]
Recommended – Why Inflation Won’t Go Away In 2023
Summary
Self-confidence is critical to self-development. It can help you to stand up for yourself, better yourself, and work to achieve your goals. You can tell people “no” to get more of your time back. You will feel better about yourself when you are confident.
Why do people obey? While this is a deep topic that can go into psychology, societal pressures make people unquestionably obey. These are six reasons why people obey.
6 Reasons Why People Obey
Psychology Of Obedience
There are many reasons why people obey. The psychology of obedience is built into human behavior. People are naturally social creatures, and societal pressures can influence people to comply even when it goes against their self-interest. Many areas of society make people obey, making them think they will face societal consequences if they don’t. Many people will choose to conform to the influence of popular culture rather than embrace and become confident in themselves as individuals.
Societal Pressures
Six main societal influences train people to obey others rather than think for themselves.
Raised To Obey
Parents raise children to obey, and they are often not taught to distinguish when disobeying is okay. People are taught from a young age to defer to others simply because they are older, teach, have fancy titles by their name, or are in a position of authority. This trains people from early on that there are people who are better than them merely because they have a position of authority that society has arbitrarily deemed worthy of respect.
[bctt tweet=”Once you mature and ask critical questions, you may discover that those popular culture tells you to respect are the most unworthy of recognition.” username=”@secure_single”]
Education System
Starting from a young age, people are taught to obey without question. This often begins in kindergarten and continues up to the higher education system. They are told to respect teachers. The education system trains people to get ready to become employees. They are told what they must do to do well in a class. Students think that doing well on quizzes and tests to please their teachers and professors means they will do well in life. This creates obedient and conformist people rather than individuals who can think for themselves and do things independently without instructions.
Religion
Religion plays a role in obedience. If someone believes that disobeying is often considered wrong if they do something immoral, they become concerned that they have sinned or angered the deity or deities that are part of their religion. They fear being condemned in the afterlife for disobeying.
Rather than being able to see certain things in shades of grey, everything becomes black and white. Right and wrong. If they do something wrong such as disobeying someone in a position of authority, they think they have committed a sinful act that whichever deity they may worship condemns. Disobeying means they are not living a virtuous life which could have implications for them after they die.
Status Quo Bias
Some people need help dealing with or do not like change. This means that someone will stick to the status quo in one’s daily life or when it comes to more significant societal issues. People obey rules without question because they know that if they depart from what is established, they may be viewed as disobedient or even break the law.
There is little to nothing to lose when someone always tries to follow the rules. Some people want to do everything by the books and follow the same routines and rules because it is a safe choice.
Surveillance State
The surveillance state intrudes into the everyday lives of ordinary people. When you know everything you do is on record, you are likelier to obey and follow the rules without question. With all the data collected about people today with the Internet and digital records, you know that your actions, voice, fingerprints, and face are in a database somewhere. Anything about you that you may say that goes against the status quo could be used against you at any time.
[bctt tweet=”“An unjust law is no law at all.” – St. Augustine of Hippo” username=”@secure_single”]
Laws And Regulations
Laws and regulations can also contribute to making people obey. Many people don’t want to be seen as breaking the law, yet the United States is the most regulated country in the world.
The coercion from laws, regulations, and mandates uses the psychological tool of reward power. People obey and follow the rules because they want to be rewarded for their good behavior.
An example is not jaywalking across the street when no car is coming because you are worried you will get a ticket.
Many people who don’t want to break the law unknowingly do break the law. The average American breaks three laws a day. It is ridiculous to aim to be a good upright model citizen.
Recommended: Why Inflation Won’t Go Away In 2023
Summary
There is nothing wrong with questioning authority. It can be healthy to disobey. Question authority and think for yourself. You can take back your life today by not always obeying and letting people control you. You are the one responsible for your life, no one else.
Views expressed in this article are the author’s opinions and do not necessarily reflect the views of Secure Single. It is intended for informational and educational purposes only. It is not investment or financial advice. James Bollen is the author of Thriving Solo: How to Flourish and Live Your Perfect Life (Without A Soulmate). Now available in paperback and for the Kindle on Amazon. Subscribe to Secure Single’s Substack for free!
Society avoids self-discipline. Popular culture is obsessed with pleasure and living in the moment. People often do not want to learn to practice discipline, even though it is critical to becoming successful. If you do not form the habit of self-discipline, you will be less likely to achieve your goals. That is because self-discipline is the foundation of success. There are fundamental ways in how self-discipline can improve your life.
How Self-Discipline Can Improve Your Life
Self-Discipline Is Foundational To Self-Improvement
[bctt tweet=”Self-discipline is the foundation on which you build your daily habits. Discipline is how you work to develop yourself and improve your skills continually.” username=”@secure_single”]
There are many ways that you can practice self-discipline. It could be waking up and going to bed at a consistent time. It could be working on completing five to ten daily tasks to get you closer to accomplishing your goals. It could be exercising regularly or following a diet.
You will only want to be disciplined if you know what you are working toward.
You can start by listing one to three things you want to improve. You could want to make more money. You may want to make passive income. You may want to lose weight. You could want to have six-pack abs. You may want to improve your communication skills. You could work to develop better relationships with friends and family.
Motivation Follows Self-Discipline
Self-discipline is the good habits that you build to help you to succeed in reaching your goal. Motivation then follows discipline. It would help if you had something that you are working toward. You will remain stuck without motivation because you won’t have any incentive to focus on personal development.
Motivation is the internal drive that pushes you to want to succeed. Proving that you can do something you have always wanted is most important. That is internal validation.
Internal validation is more important than external validation. You are doing something because you want to, not because you seek validation from others. Most people are more worried about what other people think about them. This has become a problem with social media. Internal validation is essential to develop because you should want to achieve goals. You can improve yourself, from your health to your finances.
Choose a goal you want to work toward, then become disciplined and motivated to reach it to validate you.
Recommend: Why Inflation Won’t Go Away In 2023
Take Action
Action is the first step to achieving a goal you have set for yourself. Without action, you will continue to remain stuck where you are. It will be a dream, not a goal. The best type of action is imperfect action. Nothing needs to be or will ever be perfect. You can tweak the final parts of a project to make it look nice later. The car engine and parts build a car. The exterior paint job only makes the car look appealing.
Create Actionable Steps To Achieve Your Goals
Once you are motivated and disciplined, you can work to create actionable steps to achieve your goals. You can list out the steps needed for you to realize a goal. You may only need three steps if it is a small goal. If it is a larger goal, you may need over ten steps to accomplish it. An example of a small goal could be writing an article a week. To achieve this goal, you must:
- Be disciplined enough to do it each week.
- Research and come up with a topic to write about.
- Sit down and write enough words to cover an article topic.
- Edit the article.
- Publish the article on one or multiple platforms.
Short-Term To Long-Term Goals
[bctt tweet=”You can list short-term, medium-term, and long-term goals you want to accomplish.” username=”@secure_single”]
Your discipline and time work together to help you attain your goal. Discipline and time are vital resources you must learn to manage to help you achieve a goal. They work together because you must often be disciplined to manage your time better. You can practice self-discipline and use your time to reach your different goals.
A short-term goal is something that you want to accomplish within a period of a month to one year. It could be starting a website, YouTube Channel, or something else you may be interested in. It could be learning a new skill to go deeper into a subject. These are usually more straightforward projects or something that requires you to get started to complete the goal.
A medium-term goal requires more time to complete. It could take you one to three years to finish a medium-term goal. These are medium-sized projects that you spend more time on. An example could be writing a book or creating a digital course.
A long-term goal will take longer to finish. It could take four to ten years, depending on the plan. A long-term goal could be writing a book series. It could be taking a series of courses online. It could be working to build an online business to make it sustainable.
You can work on all three of these types of goals simultaneously. You can use your short-term goals to build upon your medium to long-term goals once you become organized and have a process. A process of systematizing can help you to complete faster the following things that you want to do.
Find Yourself Reaching Your Goals
Once you become disciplined and consistently practice time management, you will complete your goals. This will give you a sense of accomplishment. You will start developing self-confidence because you know you can reach your goals. You will then be more incentivized to go after the other goals that you have on your list.
Summary
You must first develop self-discipline into a habit to achieve any life goals. Without discipline, you will continue to wonder why you stay stuck. When you combine self-control with action, you will realize your goals.
Views expressed in this article are the author’s opinions and do not necessarily reflect the views of Secure Single. It is intended for informational and educational purposes only. It is not investment or financial advice. James Bollen is the author of Thriving Solo: How to Flourish and Live Your Perfect Life (Without A Soulmate). Now available in paperback and for the Kindle on Amazon. Subscribe to Secure Single’s Substack for free!
“There’s no such thing as luck. Luck is where preparation meets opportunity.” ~ Unknown
“There is no such thing as luck, merely opportunity meeting preparedness.” ~ George S. Patton
“Luck is what happens when preparation meets opportunity.” ~ Seneca the Younger
“I say luck is when an opportunity comes along and you’re prepared for it.” ~ Denzel Washington
“I’ve found that luck is quite predictable. If you want more luck, take more chances. Be more active. Show up more often.” ~ Brian Tracy
You may recognize some similarities in these quotes. Instead of luck being perceived as mythical that you have no control over. Luck is when the right things happen that you have put in the hard work for, resulting in a positive impact. It did not happen by chance. These are the five things you control that determine luck.
5 Things You Control That Determine Luck
Preparation
The first step is proper preparation. You can first prepare by becoming familiar with whatever topic or skill you find interesting. You then want to work to master that topic or skill. It will take you time, but eventually, you will become a subject matter expert on the topic you spent hundreds, if not thousands, of hours learning about.
You can then discover other related skills you may want to learn to continue improving yourself and be a subject matter expert. Depending on your knowledge and skills, this can later turn into opportunities. While you lay the groundwork, don’t be afraid to take chances.
Take Chances
The second step is to take chances. Taking risks is how you get things that others people don’t. The greater the risk, the higher the potential return. Every opportunity you take may not pay off, but you may still learn something from it. At the very least, you may learn a practical skill that you can use later on.
Risks are needed because that is another way that you learn. You are putting yourself out there for others to see, which will attract haters to you, but you are doing something while others continue to do the safe thing. It can also open doors that can turn into opportunities.
[bctt tweet=”The best way to learn is by doing something in the real world rather than theorizing and discussing abstract ideas. Leave the abstract concepts that won’t improve your life to academics. Focus on and invest in yourself.” username=”@secure_single”]
Opportunities
The third step is to be open to opportunities. As you prepare by always continuing to learn and improve your skillset, you are preparing yourself for opportunities that could come your way. It could be someone messaging you over LinkedIn who wants to talk to you, which could later spin off into a business idea. It could be discovering ways to turn your thousands of hours of work into passive income streams.
An opportunity could be an idea that comes to you in the middle of the night. It could be you sending or receiving an email from someone who can introduce you to someone. It could be taking a digital course where you learn another income generation strategy.
It could be talking with someone in a social media group that leads to the two of you working together on a project that is larger than both of you. That project could end up giving both of you a purpose more significant than what you had before doing what you were doing before.
You could decide to start something other people say you should not do.
You are open to the opportunity rather than turning it down. You act on the opportunity. You say “Yes” to the options instead of “No.” You can control the opportunities by responding to them when they come your way.
Be Active
The fourth step is to be active. This does not mean being as active as in exercise, although that can help you think more clearly. You can be active every day by working to achieve your goals. You may need to write a blog post daily, make YouTube and TikTok videos, grow your presence on social media, and always find ways to build what you are working toward. You want to be active where people are today, primarily by being involved online.
The problem is many social media platforms today, so you must figure out where to direct your time, attention, and energy. You want to be most active on the things that you have control over. Those things you want to work to grow as large as you can are the ones you have the most control over and best fit your strengths.
You can be active by directing your energy into growing the project that you are working on. It may not blow up overnight, but each little thing that you put out there is going out could reach someone. All of the energy that your directed can eventually snowball into a successful giant project because you never gave up. You put in the work each day. It may not have felt like it, but you started from nothing and then began to multiply until it was the point where it skyrocketed.
You don’t necessarily need a huge audience to succeed. It never hurts to work to grow it to as big as you can, though.
Show Up
The final step is always to show up. This requires you to develop self-discipline, time management skills, and never give up.
Self-discipline is critical to success because you practice self-control by directing your energy to things that could lead to the best results. You do the same things every day throughout the week. This can eventually become a habit.
Time management can help you to succeed. You can create a list of tasks you need to complete the next day and list five to ten tasks. The list can be a combination of small, medium, and tasks. Small tasks could be going to the grocery store to paying your bills. A medium task could be filming a video or writing an article. A large task would be a project that could take six months or longer to finish, like writing a book, creating merchandise, or creating a digital course to sell.
You can direct your energy where it will lead to the best return on your investment. That will require you to know and understand your strengths. When you are first starting, you will have to put in the sweat equity until you can make money from what you do. You always want to do something for yourself, especially something you enjoy and are good at. After all, you must pay the bills, save, and plan for your future.
“If you’re good at something, never do it for free.” – The Joker
Bonus!
You will be an exciting person to talk to because you took a different path than most people. People will more likely want to talk to you because you probably are working on a new project, discovering new ways to do something, and decided to take risks when everyone else took the safe option.
By taking these five steps, people will want to talk to you because they can learn things from you, and you may be viewed as unusual. In a society that wants everyone to be mediocre and creates hurdles that trap you, being unconventional is a superpower. There is nothing wrong with being weird.
Summary
Most people contribute to luck where hard work, showing up daily, and always being open to opportunities come together. You then want to find ways to monetize them. In the Internet Age, you have many options outside the traditional job route.