Society proclaims to support equality and teaches that everyone should be treated with respect. However, popular culture only advocates and encourages respect in areas that are the foundation of its own social constructs. These social constructs typically are connected to coupling and marriage in America. Singles do not fit into this construct and in order to fit in singles must become coupled. Singles are a growing population in the United States and society should respect a temporary or permanent single status.
In a society that preaches tolerance and equality, the culture remains biased against the unmarried and singles of America. Popular culture discriminates against singles by promoting coupling and marriage from silly shows like The Bachelor and The Bachelorette, but the real damage against singles is through the media and science. Society needs to work on improving the image of single people in through popular media and in other mediums where singles remain marginalized. The solution is simple. Singles need to be treated with respect just like any other person that society tells people need to tolerate their lifestyle choice.
Respect for people and for people to make rational choices in their life is the foundation of society, but it is not given to people who are single. This needs to change. It is no one’s business to ask someone who is single twenty questions about their love life; if they are interested in someone, if they are dating, or why they need to find so that they can have children before they get too old to name just a few questions that are continually asked of singles. The demographics of America are changing with singles now making up 45% of the population. This fact alone should change the tone of society and of popular culture when it comes to talking about singles. Singles should stand up for themselves and articulate why they are currently single or why they have chosen to be a lifelong single.
There are a variety of singles that range from temporary singles, current singles, lifelong singles, single parents, widowers, and divorcees. This range makes it difficult for society to stereotype singles, yet that is what popular culture does to those who are unmarried. If American society is truly tolerant and believes in equality, then it needs to begin to respect the diversity of single people.
Views expressed in this article are the author’s opinions and do not necessarily reflect the views of Secure Single. It is intended for informational and educational purposes only. It is not investment or financial advice. James Bollen is the author of Thriving Solo: How to Flourish and Live Your Perfect Life (Without A Soulmate). Now available in paperback and for the Kindle on Amazon. Subscribe to Secure Single’s Substack for free!
Stereotypes are an “unfair and untrue belief that many people have about all people or things with a particular characteristic.” There are many false stereotypes about singles that is perpetuated by society and popular culture about single men and single women. Unmarried and Single Americans should work to change the negative stereotypes of single people by informing the culture and people when an opportunity presents itself.
Society stigmatizes and stereotypes singles that single women as being either sluts or whores. For women, being called a slut or a whore portrays that a woman dresses sexy in order to get with anyone she can only for the purpose of sex. The insult is then taken a step further when single women are called whores. This implies that single women can be bought off to perform sexual acts because they are not married or in a romantic relationship. These derogative terms used to describe single women, or women in general, should not be socially acceptable to call anyone but it is socially acceptable to call women a “slut” or “whore.” Each individual woman has different values and lives a unique life so society and people making broad generalization about why a woman may be single is offensive. Men are called other interesting things by society.
Society stigmatizes and stereotypes single men are being either criminals, perfectionists, lazy, or gay. These stereotypes reduce men across a perplexing range of characteristics from being an offender of some kind (possibly even a pedophile), too busy to date, too lazy to date, or that a man must only be physically and sexually attracted to women. Like single women, single men have reasons or circumstances for why they may be temporarily or permanently single but society stereotypes them for their single status.
As a single man who has never truly dated anyone, I have experienced many of the stereotypes and stigmas myself from a variety of people. I have been told that I should be careful as I get older to not interact with children and people who are underage because I am not married since parents may get the wrong idea about me. Also, once when a woman thought I was flirting with her at a bar. The woman came over and asked if I was texting my girlfriend, but once she learned that I was single and did not have a girlfriend she began to interrogate me. She proceeded to go through the several sexual orientations from asking if I was gay to if I was asexual since it was apparently odd that I was not dating and enjoyed being single. Needless to say, it is no one’s business to question singles why they are not dating and why they are single although it is socially acceptable to do so.
It is socially acceptable in modern society to critically stereotype and stigmatize the unmarried and singles and to grill them on the spot for reasons why they do not have a girlfriend or boyfriend. Society needs to stop encouraging people to act this way around single people. These stereotypes negatively reduce single women and single men to a damaging characteristic that society does not support and places it on singles. Society should stop single shaming and recognize the numerous reasons why someone may be single.
Views expressed in this article are the author’s opinions and do not necessarily reflect the views of Secure Single. It is intended for informational and educational purposes only. It is not investment or financial advice. James Bollen is the author of Thriving Solo: How to Flourish and Live Your Perfect Life (Without A Soulmate). Now available in paperback and for the Kindle on Amazon. Subscribe to Secure Single’s Substack for free!
America claims to be a nation of and for equality and opportunity for all people. There is a discrepancy regarding equality and opportunity when those who are married receive federal benefits, tax deductions, and other privileges receive that the single and unmarried do not get from the government. Unmarried and single Americans now make up 45% of the population and are a growing force in society, yet their various levels of government fail to recognize them as people.
The other 55% of the population are married or coupled in some form and the government recognizes them. It is time for Americans to step back and reevaluate gulf between living married and living single in the United States. Those who are married receive 1,136 federal government benefits that includes health care, financial, emotional, psychological, and children that singles will never see because of societal, legal, and political discrimination. Have you heard of family values? That is the basis of why couples and those who are married receive benefits from the government. These differences need to be discussed in the various societal spheres. Bella DePaulo and Rebecca Traister advocate for more government benefits to be provided to the single and unmarried – that will result in higher taxes – that is only one political position. Another political position, a Libertarian position, is to privatize marriage and to completely get the government out of the marriage business. This would get rid of the numerous local, state, and federal benefits that those who are coupled and married receive that those who are unmarried and single never will get back from the government. However, America is in the center, a middle ground should be found between the progressive, conservative, and Libertarian positions to find a solution and provide equal opportunity to the singles and unmarried of America. It is time that the Republican and Democrat Parties begin to have a serious discussion about rights. Where do rights come from? What is America’s foundation of rights (negative rights or positive rights)? Are rights given to citizens before government (negative) or by government (positive)? Where do single rights fit into the American system? It is time for society to recognize that “a person is a person,” no matter if they are unmarried, single, cohabiting, or married and that everyone is equal and should be treated equally under the law.
Singles and the unmarried make up 45% of the American population and need to be treated just like those who are married by the law. It is time for the unmarried and single population of the United States to take the power back which the government has bestowed upon the married with numerous privileges and tax benefits.
Views expressed in this article are the author’s opinions and do not necessarily reflect the views of Secure Single. It is intended for informational and educational purposes only. It is not investment or financial advice. James Bollen is the author of Thriving Solo: How to Flourish and Live Your Perfect Life (Without A Soulmate). Now available in paperback and for the Kindle on Amazon. Subscribe to Secure Single’s Substack for free!