Beware These 5 Signs Of A One-Sided Friendship

Do you think you may be in a friendship that only goes one way? Beware these five signs of a one-sided friendship!

Beware These 5 Signs Of A One-Sided Friendship 

Everything Is About Them 

The person makes everything about them. They will only discuss their interests, hobbies, wants, and needs. The person makes no effort to listen to the other person.

When you decide to get together with that person, they often choose where to go and what to do. You may not have a choice in the matter.

In contrast, a sign of a good friend is they have empathy. They want to talk to you. They want to listen to you. They ask you questions. It is a two-sided friendship, not a one-sided friendship.

They Never Open Up 

Some people just have more of a difficult time opening up. It could be because they are introverted, they may be autistic, or it may be for any number of reasons. They may have difficulty expressing emotions or not want to tell them. It could also be that they do not know how to express feelings to others besides a strong emotion such as anger.

They are not interested in giving details about what is going on in their personal life. The individual’s inability to open up may have nothing to do with their feelings about your friendship.

In your personal interactions, the person will feel off or empty. It can make it challenging to connect with the person since you cannot clearly understand who they are and where they are coming from since they do not open up.

You Know You Cannot Count On Them 

You can never count on them. For anything. They cancel on you. They may tell you that they forgot. The person may be annoyed or angry at you. They have no problem telling people confidential information or stories you do not want to be told.

A good friend makes a point of getting together to talk and catch up. They will arrive on time or inform you if they are behind schedule.

They Do What Is Convenient 

They are never the ones to initiate getting together. You are the one who always texts or calls them to do something. The only time they may contact someone is if they need something. They are always asking for or expecting favors or something in return. To them, the friendship is transactional. The worst-case scenario is that this friend is using you.

A good friend does not manipulate you to their ends. They genuinely want to spend time together. It may be going out for coffee, drinks, or the park.

Behavior Follows A Pattern 

Some people may need more assistance from other people for mental health or personal reasons. They could be dealing with depression, be on the autism spectrum, or have a hard time getting along with people.

It is not a friendship if you find yourself doing all the work in the friendship and they never reciprocate. It is assistance. They may not be invested or interested in the friendship.

What Is Friendship?

According to the Stanford Encyclopedia of Philosophy, “Friendship… is a distinctively personal relationship that is grounded in a concern on the part of each friend for the welfare of the other, for the other’s sake, and that involves some degree of intimacy.” It simply means that you care about each other to some degree.

There are different levels of friendship, from an acquaintance to a lover to a spouse. The deeper and more intimate the friendship is, the more serious it will be. Many people may mistake an acquaintance for a friendship. In the social media age, many “friends” are really not your friends. They are merely connections on the Internet with random people.

Contrary to popular belief, ending a bad friendship is a sign of maturity for an individual. There is nothing wrong with blocking toxic and negative people out of one’s life. It is beneficial.

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Summary

The signs of a one-signed friendship may indicate that the person is toxic. It is best to avoid negative people. You could end the friendship with this person if it has always been one-sided.

Views expressed in this article are the author’s opinions and do not necessarily reflect the views of Secure Single. It is intended for informational and educational purposes only. It is not investment or financial advice. James Bollen is the author of Thriving Solo: How to Flourish and Live Your Perfect Life (Without A Soulmate). Now available in paperback and for the Kindle on Amazon. Subscribe to Secure Single’s Substack for free!

5 Strategies To End A Friendship

Are you wondering if you should end a friendship? Are you worried about having a conversation with your friend? Are you unsure of how to end a friendship? Here are five strategies to end a friendship.

Why Do People End Friendships?

People may end friendships for many reasons. People may not see a friend frequently enough, so they lose touch. You may experience a falling out.

You may no longer be interested in the same types of things as you want. You may have matured while your friend has not. There may be disagreements that the two of you could never work out that continue to arise in the friendship.

No matter the stories or experiences that you may have, you can decide which of these five strategies to end a friendship works best for you.

5 Strategies To End A Friendship

Social Media

You can talk to your friend over the social media on which your friend is most active. Social media is the most impersonal of the five. You want to describe to them why you want to end the friendship.

After you get them to understand your position on ending the friendship, you will want to block them across all your social media.

Text message

You can send your friend a text message. If your friend texts often, this may be the best way to contact them.

You can make your point. Answer any questions. You can then block your friends from social media and phone contacts.

Phone call

You can call your friend over the phone. You can know what you plan to talk to them over the phone.

You can prepare a script for the call that you can use. Telemarketers use scripts. You can apply this strategy to end a friendship.

Video Call

You can have a video call over Skype, Zoom, or on your phone or social media that allows for video calls.

A video call is a compromise between communicating via messaging and in person.

In-Person

You can have the conversation in person. An in-person conversation is the most direct way to end a friendship. You will have less control than being on a phone or social media. The exchange happens in real time.

The main benefit of ending a friendship in person is that you can read your friend’s nonverbal body language. Nonverbal communication plays a critical role in human communication. Understanding what your friend is saying non-verbally can help you better understand what they may think about you wanting to end the friendship.

Solutions

You want to utilize the medium that your friend is most active on. You want to have your reasons ready for why you want to end the friendship. You want to prepare for any pushback. You do not want to be afraid to stand up for yourself. If you have concluded that it is best to end a friendship, then unapologetically do it.

I have lost touch with my college friends. I blocked two of my former closest friends across my social media and on my phone. They were negatively influencing me. One would only talk about drinking and entertainment.

My other former friend was manipulative and used me to advance himself. He did that while saying that he was helping me.

Please be sure to be clear on your why. Stand up for yourself. Tell your former friend “No”. Walk away and start to live your best life.

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Conclusion

You will experience that friendships naturally end over time. You want to determine the reason why you have decided to want to end a friendship. It is up to you to determine how much you tell your friend. You could block them today across your social media and devices or choose to get together at a location of your choosing to end the friendship.

You will feel better about yourself once you end a friendship that does not benefit you. I know ending those two friendships immensely helped me. You can take the next step by choosing one of these five strategies to end a friendship today.

Views expressed in this article are opinions of the author and do not necessarily reflect the views of Secure Single. James Bollen is the author of Thriving Solo: How to Flourish and Live Your Perfect Life (Without A Soulmate). Now available in paperback on Amazon. Subscribe to Secure Single’s Substack for free!

On The Loss Of Trust In Friendship

Friendships fade over time. Loss of trust in friendship can play a critical role in a relationship ending.

On The Loss Of Trust In Friendship

Trust Is The Foundation Of Any Relationship

Merriam-Webster Dictionary defines trust as an “assured reliance on the character, ability, strength or truth or someone or something.”

Trust is the foundation of any relationship. It is earned. Trust can be easily lost and never recovered.

It does not matter if it is with a friend, family member, or an acquaintance. You have nothing without trust.

Trust is earned by institutions, too. People continue to lose faith in institutions. People and institutions can become toxic.

Signs Of A Toxic Friend

When you are not confident that your friend can help you or wants to spend time with you, there is no reason to stay friends. If a friend shows signs that you are in a toxic relationship. Consider ending your friendship with that person. Some telltale signs of a toxic friendship include:

  • You lose self-esteem and self-confidence.
  • You feel your friend attacks, demeans, and does not support you.
  • You struggle to be yourself around the toxic person.
  • You discover that you both bring out the worst in each other.
  • The toxic person blames you and never takes responsibility for their actions or choices.

Breach Of Trust

Another issue that may arise with a friend that can lead to losing trust in a friendship is when your friend breaches your trust. They may gossip about you. They may have told a secret to someone. They may have done something you consider unforgivable.

Since trust is so critical to any relationship, and they breached it, it is up to you to decide to end the friendship. You have a few options for ending a friendship:

  • You can block them across all your social media.
  • You can cut them entirely out of your life.
  • You can talk to them to discuss why you want to end the friendship in person or over a phone or Zoom call.

Cut That Friend Out From Your Life

If you identify one or more signs that someone in your life is toxic, cut them out of your life! It does not matter the reasons why you are friends. By being toxic, your friend has made you lose trust in the friendship. Ending a toxic friendship can help you to feel better about yourself.

Natural To Lose Friends As You Mature

There is nothing wrong with losing friendships as you become older. Your interests and skills naturally change. You may be connected and “friends” with people from college, but you never actually talk to them. If you move to another state or country for a new job, you will find new friends to develop a community.

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Conclusion

Contrary to popular thought, there is nothing wrong with ending friendships. That is especially true when you have lost trust in a friend. Make the wise choice. End the friendship. It will save you pain rather than working to keep the friendship going.

 

James Bollen is the author of Thriving Solo: How to Flourish and Live Your Perfect Life (Without A Soulmate). Now available in paperback on Amazon. Subscribe to Secure Single’s Substack for free.

5 Astonishing Causes Of Autism And Social Isolation

There are many reasons for the connection between autism and social isolation. A large part has to do with society and people’s expectations. People enjoy outgoing and charismatic people more than solemn and thoughtful people. Autistic people are most often in the second camp because of verbal and nonverbal communication issues. Autistic individuals eventually learn to become comfortable being outsiders and maximize their time in solitude. to work on their projects. They learn to accept that they can’t fit in with society. There are five primary causes of autism and social isolation.

 

Autism And Social Isolation

 

What Is Autism?

 

According to Autism Research Institute, “Autism is a developmental disorder with symptoms that appear within the first three years of life. Its formal diagnostic name is autism spectrum disorder. The word ‘spectrum’ indicates that autism appears in different forms with varying levels of severity. That means that each individual with autism experiences their own unique strengths, symptoms, and challenges.”

 

The Autism Spectrum

 

There is a range of autism. Some autistic individuals who are high functioning may be able to pass by people on the surface until they get into a conversation with someone. On the other end of the spectrum are autistic individuals who cannot fully function. They need other people’s help and assistance with daily tasks. They may hurt themselves by banging themselves or hitting themselves. There are yet others who are somewhere in the middle of this spectrum.

 

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15 Common Signs Of Autism

 

There are things that you can look out for to identify autism. The main symptoms of autism relate to verbal and non-verbal communication. There are fifteen common signs of autism:

 

  • Reduced eye contact
  • Differences in body language or lack of body language
  • Lack of facial expressions
  • Lack of eye contact
  • Lack of nonverbal communication
  • Not engaging in imaginative play
  • Repeating gestures or sounds
  • Repeating routines
  • Repetitive behaviors
  • Ritualistic behaviors
  • Tone of voice
  • Pragmatic language
  • Self-injury
  • Closely focused interests
  • Indifference to temperature extremes

 

 

4 Ways How Autistic Individuals Become Social Outcasts

 

Autistic individuals will usually become social outcasts. They lack the acceptable soft and social skills that are needed to gain approval from people and society. There are four ways how autistic individuals become social outcasts in society.

 

Society’s Focus On Soft Skills

 

There is an overemphasis on soft skills in society and by people. These are the very skills that autistic individuals lack. To succeed in life, they must find ways to deal with this enduring social expectation while trying to navigate as a social pariah in society. They eventually learn to become comfortable as social outcasts and spend time alone.

 

Society’s Expectation

 

Society is built around extroverts. It favors extroversion personalities. That is why you see people often gushing over celebrities, politicians, or well-known influencers. These people can understand emotions and manipulate them to their advantage. Since they can connect with people on an emotional level, people think that they are just like them, so they must be nice. These people must care about them. Autistic individuals may eventually learn to see through the facade of nice-sounding words, charisma, and good looks because it is part of a world that is alien to them. They learn to overlook society’s expectations and to embrace being society’s black sheep.

 

People’s Expectations

 

People often have those same emotions. People prefer extroverted and outgoing people to introverts. This is because most people think that what society says is the best way. People like to go along with the crowd and fit in. They want to please their friends or co-workers. People often focus on external validation. External validation comes from relationships and getting others’ approval of you. Autistic individuals learn that they can’t meet people’s social expectations, so they would rather spend time alone.

Related – 20 Ways How To Deal With Depression And Loneliness

Social Outcasts

 

Since autistic people lack the social skills and charisma to excite people, they often experience being outcasts. They cannot go along with the crowd because they stick out, even if they try to fit in. Eventually, autistic individuals learn that society and how the system is built are not for them. They must find their way to make do in a culture that highly values the things that autistic people lack. This may result in autistic individuals learning to enjoy spending time in solitude which society frowns upon.

Related – The Loneliness Epidemic and Social Media Paradox

 

5 Causes Of Autism And Social Isolation

 

Several factors can drive autistic individuals into self-isolation. Five causes contribute to autism and social isolation.

 

Poor Social Skills

 

Autistic individuals usually have poor social skills, a lack of nonverbal communication, and an inability to read body language; many may end up in social isolation. This is because it takes too much effort or is impossible to communicate verbally and non-verbally with people. This leads to many autistic individuals ending up in social isolation. It is easier for them not to deal with people who expect them to have a range of emotions and to be able to communicate those emotions or feelings to others fully.

Poor Verbal Communication

 

Autistic people may spend more time alone or experience social isolation for many reasons. It may not be worth the time to work to improve non-verbal communication skills because it does not make a difference. They can only marginally improve so much, but still, they stand out to people for their inability to read non-verbal’s. They will also stand out to others because of their monotone voice. They have difficulty fluctuating and changing the range of their voice to show a range of emotions or to stress particular points in verbal communication. As a result of these everyday problems, they may eventually stop trying to improve these soft skills that society places a premium on in their professional and daily life.

 

Poor Nonverbal Communication

 

This leads them to end up socially isolated. Instead, they would focus on their interests rather than deal with other people’s expectations that they know they cannot meet. Instead, they would find ways to become the best at that one interest rather than deal with others. Since they do not have the required verbal and social skills that society and employers expect, they have a higher unemployment rate. According to Good Autism School, “up to 70% of approximately 6 million adults with autism in the USA are struggling with unemployment or underemployment.”

 

Difficulty With Relationships

 

As a result of often having poor communication and non-verbal skills, autistic individuals have difficulty with relationships. This makes it difficult to make and maintain relationships. Autistic individuals have a hard time with relationships, be it with family to romantic relationships, because they come across as cold due to their monotone voice and poor non-verbal skills. Nonverbal body language accounts for 60% to 65% of communication. People place a premium on soft skills instead of the delivered information. Those are the very things autistic individuals have the most difficulty with, directly affecting their relationships.

 

Always Being In Their Heads

 

Autistic individuals often experience being in their heads. This means that their brain is always running. It seems never to stop. It can get even worse if they experience sensory overload from sounds or visuals. Since people are expected to have good soft skills, the interaction with people that autistic individuals lack may replay those interactions in their minds for what they should have done. These types of things make autistic individuals always live in their heads. The mind will run non-stop twenty-four hours a day, seven days a week, and three hundred sixty-five days a year. It never stops.

 

Autism And Solitude

 

Despite being socially isolated, many autistic individuals may learn to enjoy spending their time alone. What most people think of as scary or not normal, autistic people can learn to enjoy spending their time alone in solitude. They can use solitude to take advantage of the autistic symptoms by focusing and working on an interest in creative ways. Autistic individuals can spend time in solitude to master a skill and craft. They can be highly productive once they learn to utilize time management strategies to focus solely on a project. Autism, when appropriately managed, can become a superpower!

Related – What Is The Difference? Solitude Versus Loneliness

 

Conclusion

 

Social isolation is often thought of as a bad thing. The flip side of isolation is solitude. It is ultimately a matter of perspective and how someone views spending time alone. Autistic individuals have difficulty maintaining relationships because they lack the non-verbal and soft skills that people expect in social situations. For these reasons, they may enjoy spending time in solitude working on their projects because they don’t have to deal with people and society.

Views expressed in this article are the author’s opinions and do not necessarily reflect the views of Secure Single. It is intended for informational and educational purposes only. It is not investment or financial advice. James Bollen is the author of Thriving Solo: How to Flourish and Live Your Perfect Life (Without A Soulmate). Now available in paperback and for the Kindle on Amazon. Subscribe to Secure Single’s Substack for free!

15 Ways To Have A Thriving Social Life As A Single

Is it possible for you to have a thriving social life as a single? Absolutely yes! It will take some work, but you can have a social life as a single. You can develop a relationship with friends, people in your community, and the most important relationship, which is with yourself.

 

15 Ways To Have A Thriving Social Life As A Single

 

Rising Single Demographics

 

Contrary to how society portrays being single, it is not a dirty word. There is nothing wrong with being single! In fact, singles are a rising demographic! Currently, nearly 50% of adults in the United States are single. That roughly equals 127 million people! With that many people single, you can surely meet other people to have a thriving social life!

 

How You Can Have A Thriving Social Life As A Single

 

You have more time available to figure out where and how you want to spend your time as a single. Here are fifteen ways to have a thriving social life as a single.

 

Find A Hobby

 

You can explore a hobby. Explore a hobby. You can use your time single to try new things, including new hobbies. You could learn to knit. You could learn to build your computer. You could find new ways to make passive income. It should be something that you enjoy doing. A hobby should not be a source of stress. You can then use your hobby as a way to meet other people who also enjoy that hobby.

 

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Try New Things

 

Don’t be afraid to try new things. After all, this is how you figure out whether you like something. You can meet others who share the same interests and hobbies, share your same values, or share your same ambitions and goals. You can go to events in your area to meet new people. You could go to a bar, restaurant, or social event that sounds fun. You could go to a museum, see a ballet, or go to a concert. You could join a book club. You have many options. Just don’t be afraid to try new things. That is how you learn.

 

Find Likeminded People 

 

[bctt tweet=”Your five closest friends are a direct reflection of you. Are they who you want to be? Are they where you want to be in five or ten years?” via=”no”]

 

You can spend time with like-minded people. These will be people who share similar interests, beliefs, values, and worldviews. They will likely have similar views as you regarding politics, economics, and philosophy. They will probably be working towards similar life goals as you. You want to surround yourself with like-minded people who share your values and want to achieve the same things in life as you.

 

Nurture Quality Friendships

 

As you find like-minded people, you can start to nurture quality friendships. These are friendships that are important to you. You will likely want to nurture friendships with people who think and have similar values and goals as you. Your five closest friends are a reflection of you. Choose your friends wisely and ensure you are not friends with superficial people.

 

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Find A Mentor

 

Find a mentor in whatever it is that you may be interested in. It could be a business mentor. It could be a spiritual mentor. It could be a mentor from whom you can learn life lessons since a mentor is often older than the mentee. If you can find a mentor, it can save you lots of time and potentially save you from making horrible life decisions. The problem is that most people don’t have time to mentor someone because they have their problems to worry about.

 

Develop A Community

 

[bctt tweet=”You can be a part of many different types of communities, including health, spiritual, and professional communities.” via=”no”]

 

You can go to many places to begin building a community. A community will help you to make connections with people. Here are seven ways to begin to build a community around you.

 

Health Community

 

These are people who are interested in all things around health. They could be interested in naturopathy, Western medicine, Chinese medicine, or herbal remedies. If you enjoy these types of topics and discussions, you can look to find where these types of people meet.

 

Mental Health Community

 

You could also develop a mental health community. These are people who enjoy topics related to mental health. It could be therapy. It could be strategies to deal with mental health problems. They may also be interested in solutions to deal with mental health.

 

Related – How Does Mental Health Affect Your Life? 5 Tips To Improve Your Life

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Exercise Community

 

These are people who enjoy exercising and staying fit. They are interested in health as it relates to exercise. You could meet these people at your gym. You could meet them going out on a hike. You could also meet them during a yoga class.

 

Volunteer Community

 

Another way to meet people is by volunteering. You could volunteer for a non-profit. You could volunteer for a political campaign. You could volunteer at a church. You could also help your neighbor who lives next door or is in your neighborhood. Volunteering is another way to meet people.

 

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Spiritual Or Religious Community

 

If you are spiritual or religious, this is another way to get involved in your community. You can find a religious organization or church with groups you want to be a part of. You could help by seeing if they need any volunteers, or you could start your own group within the religious organization to meet other people.

Professional Community

 

Networking is vital to professional development. You can get involved with the professional community where you live. You can find Meetup networking events in your area. You could also go to the types of places that people with your professional background may be known to hang out at. You can also use online tools like LinkedIn to network with other professionals in your field. Networking is important.

 

Online Community

 

You can also build an online community. While an online community is not as beneficial to health as meeting people in person, there are still reasons to have an online community. You can make an online community by finding Facebook Groups where people who share your interests are a part of you. You can also find online professional groups on LinkedIn. In those groups, you can learn things from others or find information that may be useful to you. If you can, try to meet some of these people in these online groups in real life if any of them live near you.

 

Related – The Loneliness Epidemic and Social Media Paradox

 

Get To Know The People You Rely On For Food

 

You can also get to know the people you rely on for food. You could meet people at your local farmer’s market. You could get to know farmers in your area. You could also get to know ranchers near or around where you live. This can help you get locally sourced food while making relationships with your local farmers, ranchers, and food producers. These types of relationships can help you become less reliant on big grocery store chains in case of supply chain issues.

 

For example, you could buy a whole or half of a cow from a local rancher and split the cost between your friends. You could then store the meat in your freezer. You may even get it at a lower price than your big chain grocery store because you bought it in bulk from a rancher.

 

Local Harvest has a search bar on its website to help you find and connect with your local farmers, ranchers, and farmers’ market in your area.

 

Learn To Enjoy Solitude

 

[bctt tweet=”Solitude can help you to be more productive. Don’t be afraid of being alone in solitude.” via=”no”]

 

Ultimately, the most important relationship is the one with yourself. If you cannot spend time alone in solitude, you may want to try to learn to enjoy it. Solitude can help with creativity. It can make you more productive. It can free you from distractions. You will find yourself achieving your goals when you spend time in solitude. This is because you are not constantly spending time with other people. When you spend more time in solitude then, you will begin to accomplish your goals because you are focusing on yourself.

 

Focus On Yourself

 

Learn to focus on yourself. Always be looking to find ways to improve yourself. It could be learning new skills or continuing to hone a skill you have already mastered. It could also be finding ways to build new revenue streams, from starting a side hustle to finding creative ways to make passive income. It could be moving to a less expensive state or even a less expensive country if you have the income and mobility to do so. You can do more than society tells you that you can do. It would help if you focused on your goals. You can begin to focus on yourself to achieve what you want in life.

 

Conclusion

 

You have many different options for how you can have a thriving social life as a single person. You can make friends with like-minded people. You can find ways to get involved with your local community. You can also work on developing an intrapersonal relationship by spending time in solitude and focusing on yourself.

Views expressed in this article are the author’s opinions and do not necessarily reflect the views of Secure Single. It is intended for informational and educational purposes only. It is not investment or financial advice. James Bollen is the author of Thriving Solo: How to Flourish and Live Your Perfect Life (Without A Soulmate). Now available in paperback and for the Kindle on Amazon. Subscribe to Secure Single’s Substack for free!

Learn How To Remove Toxic People From Your Life Like An Expert

Toxic people can negatively affect you. For this reason, singles need to learn to set boundaries. Boundaries are the first step to dealing with toxic people. Singles can then start to recognize the warning signs of a toxic person. It is then up to you to implement the best strategy to expel a toxic person. You can learn how to remove toxic people from your life like an expert!

 

How To Remove Toxic People From Your Life

 

Why Singles Need To Avoid Toxic People

 

For singles, it is critical to avoid toxic people. Negative people can make you think poorly about yourself. These people can be anywhere in the lives of single people. Toxic people can manipulate, gaslight, and use you to reach their ends while blaming you for everything. You may know someone from work to a friend who may be a toxic person. Toxic people are everywhere.

 

Singles must learn to identify and avoid negative people since they do not help them to improve themselves. Start by learning to set boundaries for people and yourself. Boundaries will increase your productivity while also limiting whom you interact with daily. You can learn to identify the different types of toxic people. Then it is up to you to decide how you want to remove toxic people from your life.

 

Who Can Be A Toxic Person?

 

A toxic person can be an acquaintance, co-worker, friend, or family member. It is up to you where you want to draw the line when setting boundaries in your life with each toxic person. It will depend on your relationship with the toxic person. For example, you are more likely to be able to stop spending time with a toxic acquaintance compared to a toxic family member. When you eliminate toxic people from your life, you will become more positive and increase your productivity.

 

Why You Need Boundaries With Toxic People In Your Life

 

Boundaries are a critical part of life to develop. Boundaries allow you to set boundaries for other people. You can also set boundaries for yourself. Boundaries will let you work on self-improvement by improving your relationship, digital life, financial life, mental health, and time management. You will also force yourself to decide whom you want to spend your time with, which will help you to decrease the time spent with toxic people.

 

Relationships

 

You can learn to set boundaries with people in your life. This applies to everyone in your life, whether they are toxic or not. However, for toxic people, it is crucial to limit your interaction with them. You can set boundaries by limiting the amount of time you spend with a toxic person. You can set boundaries by starting to tell them “No.” You can stop always answering phone calls and let them go to voicemail.

 

Digital Life

 

You can also learn to change the conversation. This will allow you to control the conversation instead of the toxic person. You can also prioritize your email or messaging inbox. Only respond to people who add positivity to your life. There is no reason to respond to your work emails on the weekend or to every email you receive. The same thing goes with your social media. There is no reason to respond to all your messages. Only respond to the ones that apply to you—set boundaries for your digital life.

 

 

You can’t remove the toxic and damaging people from your digital life. You can set digital boundaries. Digital boundaries will help you to make time for the people who matter to you most. There is nothing wrong with hiding, blocking, or unfriending people. You can even do a combination of both, especially when it comes to toxic people. Start to set digital boundaries today!

 

Financial Life

 

You may have friends who always like to go out. They want to do things like going out to eat, going to bars, going to the movies, buying the latest fashion trends, or seeing the latest live performance at the performing arts center. While nothing is wrong with that, you need to set boundaries if you can’t afford to keep up with your friends. You can start to limit your interaction with your friends who live a lavish lifestyle. They may or may not be able to afford the lifestyle they put on the appearance of living. Limiting your interactions with these friends will improve your financial life.

 

 

This will also help you learn to manage your money better. A good strategy is to calculate what the necessities cost each month by living a minimalist lifestyle. You can start by learning how to budget your money using websites, and apps like You Need A Budget (YNAB), PocketGuard, Goodbudget, Mint, and EveryDollar. You can then learn the difference between active income and passive income. As you get more advanced, you could consider starting your own business, which is the natural way how people build wealth, according to Robert Kiyosaki’s ESBI Quadrant. Once you have enough money, you can reinvest it into another venture, invest it into the stock market, or speculate.

 

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Mental Health

 

Your emotional life is critical to your well-being. If people in your life negatively affect your mental health by increasing mental health problems such as anxiety disorders, eating disorders, mood disorders, personality disorders, trauma disorders, stressor-related disorders, and psychotic disorders, then limit your interactions. This will spend time with people who help your mental health. This will make each day more enjoyable.

 

 

Toxic people can negatively affect your mental health. A negative person will make you question your decisions and actions. Toxic people are often controlling and manipulative. As a result, they can make you depressed or anxious when you associate with them. Avoid toxic people as much as possible to improve your mental health.

 

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Personal Health

 

Your health is vital to your well-being. However, if you allow people who encourage bad health habits, you may want to consider if they are worth spending time with. It could be a sign they are a negative person too. Some unhealthy habits could be excessive drinking, excessive eating, oversleeping or not getting enough sleep, dependence on drugs, and relying on caffeine.

 

 

According to a 2007 study, when you are in a relationship with a negative person, you increase your risk of having heart disease, diabetes, and metabolism issues. Toxic people can negatively affect your health. Negative people can also get you to develop bad habits which will affect your health. Harmful people only make your health worse.

 

Time Management

 

Another critical life skill is time management. Prioritize your life and the tasks you need to get done. Plan ahead of time what tasks you need to finish. Organize your living space which will help you to manage your time better. An organized room allows you to think more clearly. Now, start to organize and manage your time. Set boundaries for when you need to complete a task or project. Learn to say “no” to people and things that get in your way. Set goals for yourself and work to reach them. Start with small goals, then work to make the dreams bigger over time.

 

 

People, especially toxic people, can take away your valuable time. That is why you need to set boundaries with people, particularly harmful people, by telling people “no” to manage your time better. When you start to tell toxic people “no,” you will begin to develop self-confidence too. Time management is about setting boundaries for yourself and others. Poisonous people are time wasters.

 

Warning Signs Of A Toxic Person

 

There are signs of a toxic person to keep an eye out for in your relationships. Here are five warning signs of a toxic person.

 

Don’t Respect Boundaries

 

The first sign is that they do not respect the boundaries you have set for them. This is precisely why limits are critical. It is one test to identify a negative person! Toxic People disregard the boundaries you set for them because they expect you to do what they want even if you already told them no. Toxic people have no issues stomping on you to get what they want.

They Are Always Right

 

The second sign is that they are always right. Toxic people believe they can never be wrong. They think they are better than others and above everyone else. They will use people to meet their ends. They will have no problem continuing to use you if they know that they can get away with it.

 

They Always Blame Others

 

Third, toxic people always blame you for everything wrong in their life. A poisonous person never takes responsibility for their choices or actions. Instead, they blame others for their bad feelings and circumstances. You will find yourself on the defense when they ask you questions or accuse you of things you never did. Toxic people love to blame others.

 

They Never Apologize

 

The fourth sign of a toxic person is that they never apologize. Since toxic people believe they are always right, they see no need to ever apologize to you or anyone else. A negative person has no problem manipulating you to get what they want. They believe they are always in the right.

 

They Lie

 

Fifth, they are always lying to you. They are habitual liars. Toxic people have no problems being dishonest because they think they can get away with it. They have never paid any consequences for it, so they have no problem exaggerating facts, stories, or making something up to make you feel bad or to get what they want. You will never know if the stories they are telling are true. It doesn’t matter because they are telling you the story to get a reaction out of you or to use you in some way.

 

Types of Toxic People

 

You need to be aware of the many different types of toxic people in the world. You won’t know if you need to remove someone from your life if you can’t identify a toxic person. Here are some of the main types to keep an eye out for and be able to identify. Below are five main types of toxic people.

 

Jealous And Judgmental Person

 

The first type of toxic person is jealous and judgmental. This type of negative person dwells on self-hate. They are never happy, especially with their friends and the people around them. The jealous and judgmental types come off to people as being judgmental, critical, or a gossiper.

 

Drama Queen Or King

 

The second type love to create drama or to attract attention to themselves. There is always something going wrong. They can find a way to make something go wrong if there isn’t. Or, they won’t be afraid to exaggerate to make something appear wrong. This toxic person only cares about receiving your support, sympathy, and empathy. However, they never want to hear advice or ways to improve themselves. A drama queen or king is a complainer. They live for drama.

 

Control Freak

 

The third type of toxic person is the control freak. These toxic people love to control people, activities, things, and anything they can control and micro-manage. They will always argue, berate, and tell you that you are wrong if you disagree with them. These toxic people will suck your emotional and mental health like a vampire.

 

The Destroyer

 

The fourth type of toxic person is the destroyer. They will destroy everyone’s feelings, emotions, ideas, and thoughts without a second thought. The destroyer does not respect you or anyone else. They don’t view other people as their equals. The destroyer thinks they are smarter, more intelligent, or a better person believes they are superior to everyone else.

 

Narcissist

 

The fifth type of toxic person is the narcissist. Narcissists love to always talk about themselves or just have someone listen to them so they can hear themselves. They will interrupt you. They won’t let you talk. A narcissist is not interested in asking you questions or hearing about you. They never shut up. Narcissists are self-centered and will never pay attention to you or your needs.

 

How To Deal With Toxic People

 

If you know a toxic person, you must learn to tell them no. Stop letting them use, abuse, and take advantage of you. It would help if you started to stand up for yourself. You need to retake control of your life! Tell them no! Stop associating with them! Block them! Delete them from your life!

 

How to Remove Toxic People From Your Life

 

You have five main options for removing toxic people from your life. Your first option is to block them on all of your social media, phone, and from your life. This is the most direct approach. However, this can’t be done for everyone in your life, particularly with a family member.

 

Have The Conversation

 

Your first option is to have a conversation with them in person. A conversation in person will allow you to show non-verbal body language and have a long conversation with the person you are looking to end a relationship with. It will also give them the ability better to explain themselves from their words to their actions. You can plan to have this conversation in a public place. Depending on how bad the person has been to you in the past, you may want to consider recording the discussion until the relationship is ended and you no longer have any connections with them.

Have A Phone Call

 

Your second option is to have a phone call with the negative person. This option is less personable compared to an in-person conversation. This is another choice if you have known the person for a shorter time or are not very close to them. The phone still allows them to pick up on specific emotions, although they won’t be able to pick up on non-verbal communication over the phone. This is an option for a somewhat serious friend with whom you may want to end on good terms by having a conversation, but who is a toxic person.

 

Social Media Conversation

 

Your third option is to have a text message, chat over your favorite app, or chat on social media with the negative person.  You can have a conversation with them over an app or chat. Similar to text messages, your tone and non-verbal communication is lost in the medium. If this is how you are connected or know the person, this may be the best or your only option. Have a chat conversation with them, explain your side, then end the relationship with your toxic friend.

 

Block Them

 

The fourth option is to block them on all your accounts that you are connected with them. You may have many social media accounts. Unfriend them. Block them. Delete them from your contact lists on your email and phone, then block them. Blocking people on social media is a powerful tool. Use it, especially for negative people.

 

Tailor The Methods To Work For Your Personal Situation

 

Your final option is to combine the best methods for removing toxic people from your life depending on if you view the relationship are essential to ending on friendly terms or if you can immediately sever the relationship with the toxic person. You could hide or block them on social media, but you may still need their phone number for work or if it is someone in your family. You will still need to set aside time to have a discussion with them to work to find ways to improve the relationships. During that discussion, you will want to put any boundaries for yourself and them for the relationship.

 

Bottom Line

 

It is ultimately up to you how you want to remove a toxic person from your life. These are five strategies to eliminate a toxic person from your life. It is now up to you to decide which method works best.

 

Conclusion

 

Toxic people contribute negativity to your life. They drain you of happiness. They demotivate you from working to reach your goals. You must learn to set boundaries, recognize toxic people, tell people no, then remove them from your life. It is up to you to follow the steps to expel a negative person from your life.

Views expressed in this article are the author’s opinions and do not necessarily reflect the views of Secure Single. It is intended for informational and educational purposes only. It is not investment or financial advice. James Bollen is the author of Thriving Solo: How to Flourish and Live Your Perfect Life (Without A Soulmate). Now available in paperback and for the Kindle on Amazon. Subscribe to Secure Single’s Substack for free!
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