Headed home this Thanksgiving? Don’t fret if you’re single. We’ve got a survival guide on how to feel less pressured by your family interrogations. Remember that it is okay to be single. If your family is understanding, you will be just fine, if not, it’s time to pull those adulting pants up. Ready? Here we go!
Step 1: Plan Your Trip Home
Make sure wherever you travel this season that you are prepared to make a safe journey flying or driving home. On your prep list, make sure to have plans to be with your family most of the time, and to also call up your neighborhood friends so you can catch up and take a break from being at home too much.
Step 2: Stand In Your Truth
If you are single and reading this, be proud of who you are. Make sure that you are comfortable with yourself as you are, and that you don’t let anyone make you feel bad for being single. Student loans, self-discovery, and taking time to mature before getting in a relationship all factor into a patient single person. You should never rush to date someone, especially if you aren’t ready. Don’t let anyone push you.
Step 3: Combat Interrogations
Most millennials are single anyhow, and it is a different world today than it was for your grandparents and parents. You may need to remind your family of this, and also let them know that there are pressing economic factors of why most millennials are single. You may feel like you are at a debate, just take a deep breath – it will be over shortly.
Step 4: Take A Break
This is where planning to see your neighborhood friends comes in handy. If you’ve having a tough time adjusting to being back home and getting slack for your relationship, then call a friend. You can go for coffee, watch football, see a movie, or go for a walk.
Step 5: Workout
While this may seem counter intuitive, working out during the holidays will both keep you in shape while people are eating their 2nd’s and it will boost your endorphin’s – this will make you feel instantly better. Look great, feel great, and hey – be great. Look sexy while you are doing it, and be proud of your single self.
Now armed with knowledge, you will feel prepared to go home and be with your family as a secure single person. Feel proud of who you are and flaunt your stuff – you’re not tied down and you are as free as a bird to do as you please.
Stay securely single this holiday season,
Danielle
Views expressed in this article are the author’s opinions and do not necessarily reflect the views of Secure Single. It is intended for informational and educational purposes only. It is not investment or financial advice. James Bollen is the author of Thriving Solo: How to Flourish and Live Your Perfect Life (Without A Soulmate). Now available in paperback and for the Kindle on Amazon. Subscribe to Secure Single’s Substack for free!
Online Dating Horror Stories
When you’re single, you definitely know how to mingle. Going on dates is a fun thing – we get to meet other singles who also love to socialize. More than ever, in our current time, people are meeting online or through phone apps set up to help you meet and date someone from across the web. In fact, the online dating site eHarmony reports that there are 40 million Americans using online dating websites, where 27% are young adults, which is up 10% from 2013.
Online dating can be a fun experience and is a nice way to meet people. Now that online dating is becoming more common, people don’t have that stigma. However, just like any dating situation, there are a handful of horror stories from meeting people online.
Here are the top 5 online dating horror stories as pulled from BuzzFeed.com:
*All submissions below belong to BuzzFeed.com Secure Single is referencing and crediting all content submissions 1-5 below to Buzzfeed.com.
- Submitted by kiah4c
I went for a drink with a guy I had been chatting with online. He seemed pretty normal (good job, intelligent, funny). His first question on sitting down with our drinks was whether I was up for anal. I bypassed and watched him drink his body weight in shots before he started crying about his ex-girlfriend and then threw up down my shoulder when I was trying to walk him home. This was around 18 months ago, and he still messages me from time to time with a “hey,” or my favorite, “I miss you.”
- Submitted by KattieQ
I was once talking to this guy online and after a few hours of nice, PG conversation, he did a complete 180. He asked where I worked because I looked familiar… He said I looked like a girl from an amateur porn video. I knew that was not possible. He then asked if he could jerk off while we continued our normal conversation. After he tricked me into continuing the conversion for a few more minutes, I told him good-bye. Then he barraged me with dozens of lengthy messages asking to help him orgasm by telling him what he was doing was normal. Apparently, he had issues with disapproval and couldn’t finish without me telling him the simple letters “OK.” I never responded.
- Submitted by katet4dbf41478
I had been chatting with a guy on Yahoo Singles for a while, and we got along fairly well. When he asked me out to dinner I figured, sure, why not? It was singularly the most awkward and uncomfortable evening I have ever spent on a date. We spent our time attempting to make disjointed conversation… At the end of the evening we just simply said good night, and I figured that was the end of it. Approximately six months later, I received a message from his Yahoo account that roughly said the following: “Hi! This is X’s brother. This is going to sound really odd, but X is in prison for a few months (a big misunderstanding!) and I know he’d really like to hear from you. His address is through the ABC Correctional facility. Please write him!
- Submitted by estees2
I was speaking to this guy on Tinder, and after only a few minutes he asked me if I would marry him for $10,000. No joke. Apparently, he was a foreigner and wanted to become an American citizen. He couldn’t comprehend why I declined. He said, “Other people would do it for half the money!” I was like, “Not me, hun!”
- Submitted by Kris Woods (Facebook)
eHarmony matched me with my ex-husband…after we were divorced.
The online dating world is still early in development and should be taken with caution. If you are curious and want to learn more about people who meet their online date in person, check out episodes of Catfish.
If you do jump online and peruse the dating marketplace, just be safe and let your friends know what you’re up to. You could either have the next horror story from a first date, or you may meet the love of your life. According to www.pewresearch.org, 5% of committed married couples met online. Be safe either way and have fun with it. If you’ve got a profile online for a dating website, be authentic and ask friends to help you polish your profile to present you in the best and most original way. Have morals when you are online and know when someone on the other side crosses the line. Don’t be afraid to stop a conversation.
If you do have a hilarious or seriously horror-ish dating story, we would love to hear about it. Submit your comments below. Happy dating Secure Singles!
For more stats on online dating, check out StatisticBrain.
Views expressed in this article are the author’s opinions and do not necessarily reflect the views of Secure Single. It is intended for informational and educational purposes only. It is not investment or financial advice. James Bollen is the author of Thriving Solo: How to Flourish and Live Your Perfect Life (Without A Soulmate). Now available in paperback and for the Kindle on Amazon. Subscribe to Secure Single’s Substack for free!
It is important to define who singles are to separate singles from their married counterparts. This helps singles, and others, to better understand what they are discussing by using the term in the same way. Singles are anyone who is not married.
Merriam Webster defines single as simply “not married.” Simply stated; if you are not married, then you are single. This is true even if you are dating someone. A stable romantic or stable relationship with a partner with whom you are dating or living with still makes you single. This is because of the legal definition of marriage is the “union of a couples as spouses.” In the strictest sense, everyone is truly single until they get married. However, there is the additional complexity of how society and culture views couples who are not married.
In the age of social media; individuals can change their relationship status from single to a range of other categories that are recognized by people and society, but not by the law, with the click of a button. These options are recognized by people that live in a society that recognizes these as other alternative lifestyle choices. However, except for civil union, certain definitions of domestic partnership that are dependent on a state’s law may be closer to being considered unmarried and single rather than living together and in a marital type of relationship. For this reason, although cultural norms may recognize people as a couple or “In a Relationship” the individuals in most popular relationship categories are truly still single. These individuals are just a different type of single. They are singles who are in a relationship, or want to be in a relationship, of some kind that appears to be like marriage but is not marriage according to the law. While cultural understanding of what constitutes a couple compared to being single is not clear cut, there are other singles who consider being single as part of their identity.
Individuals who consider themselves to be happily single or do not plan on getting married are now recognized as being single by choice. There are different reasons why someone may be single by choice, which places individuals in different categories under this identification. An individual could have decided to be a lifelong single due to experiencing a series of bad and damaging relationships. An individual could have committed a religious vow that forbids them from ever getting married (this vow could require celibacy). An individual could aspire to achieve other life goals that makes remaining single the best option while dating, getting married, or having a family would be a hindrance. Ultimately, the range of reasons why someone will be single by choice will depend upon everyone’s personal experiences and life choices.
Despite the range of options that popular culture may consider to be couples, most of these relationship statuses are merely ways for people to cover up the fact that they are still single. Marriage, and certain civil unions and domestic partnerships, is the only way that someone will no longer be single. Although someone my change their social media status to being “In a Relationship” or “It’s Complicated” does not change the reality that they are in fact still single. Ultimately, with some exceptions, singles are anyone who is not married.