Marriage and politics have a long history of sleeping together.
Politics is a dirty game, yet those who advocate against the unmarried and childless have played the political game the best over the past few decades. They have done this by letting marriage and politics get in bed together to pass laws and regulations to further their own goals. However, it seems that this political faction is not satisfied with already having more than a thousand laws that benefit married couples in place, they want to now take a stand against those who are single and childless or childfree. There is always a problem when pork barrels are used in politics to win political support, but it is especially politically incestuous when marriage and politics sleep together to push preferred policies and regulations on to those who are single and unmarried to benefit couples.
The Problem When Marriage And Politics Get In Bed Together
Corruption of Marriage and Politics
While both the Democratic Party and the Republican Party are corrupt in their own unique ways, the incestuous relationship between marriage and politics crosses both political aisles but it gets the most coverage on the right side of the political aisle. Rather than be open to the reality that singles and the unmarried are on the rise, this political faction is focused on creating more laws and policies to promote the family according to how that faction understands family. It is more concerned about the family collective rather than the individual. Married couples already get tax benefits from extra deduction to child tax credits to home sales along with retirement benefits which include IRA contributions and Social Security. Rather than asking politicians and the government for more while attacking those who are childless and childfree, a solution to level the playing field for both those who are single, unmarried, and married is to abolish all of the benefits the married receive from the government.
A way to make the political system more equitable towards those who are unmarried and married is to end the incestuous relationship between marriage and politics starts by looking outside of the government for solutions. This would mean working to decrease and eventually eliminate government benefits and provisions for married couples. By getting rid of these marriage benefits and provisions which the government has in place for married couples, it would no longer make the state favor couples over singles. The next step would be to allow those who want to get married to marry where they want whether it is by a church, an organization which performs marriages, or by the local government. This would increase the options for people who want to get married rather than the federally mandated promotion of marriage which is the current status quo between marriage and the state. These solutions would make the political system fairer towards both married couples and those who are single and unmarried. It would also end the forty plus year’s incestuous relationship between marriage and politics.
Marriage and politics have a long history of being politically incestuous to further the agendas of both institutions. It is time to work to end the pork barrels and porking between these two which has gone on for too long. By working to get rid of the marriage benefits and provisions which the state provides to those who are married; it would make both singles and those who are married equally before the law, before the state, and to each other. This would also provide a range of options for those singles who want to eventually marry by getting the federal government out of the marriage business and give the power back to the states and local governments, then churches and other organizations can decide what types of marriages they want to perform. Overall, more marriage options would and arrangements would be available for those who may want to marry. Marriage is not about receiving special privileges and a special status from the state, it is about a union between two people. Singles and the unmarried can work together to make the government treat them equally under the law by ending the lewd relationship between marriage and politics.
Views expressed in this article are the author’s opinions and do not necessarily reflect the views of Secure Single. It is intended for informational and educational purposes only. It is not investment or financial advice. James Bollen is the author of Thriving Solo: How to Flourish and Live Your Perfect Life (Without A Soulmate). Now available in paperback and for the Kindle on Amazon. Subscribe to Secure Single’s Substack for free!
Getting married and having a fairytale life is not exactly what happens when you enter adulthood. So many women have dreams manifest from their childhood of getting married to Prince Charming and living in a castle. The marriage fairytale myth hurts singles and couples alike. There is divorce, infidelity, long weeks of endless work climbing the corporate ladder, and everything else in between. The marriage fairytale that many women still believe about a magical white wedding followed by a happy ending is bullshit.
Why Do Single Women Still Believe The Marriage Fairytale Bullshit?
As children, we were brainwashed by all those Disney movies with the same story outline: the princess gets rescued by a handsome prince with a gazillion dollars. What kind of subconscious bullshit is this? Teaching our children today that this is how society works is completely the wrong way to go the game of life. It imposes that women should wait for men to do everything and that men have to take full responsibility for providing for women. The cultural ideas have already begun to tip, hence the fact that there is more stay at home dads and women breadwinners. It’s 2018 – let’s wake up and smell the roses. Women are nearly fifty percent of today’s workforce and are leading even more badass careers today thanks to the women who have paved the way in relentless sociopolitical battles throughout history. Single women need to get over the silly marriage fairytale myth and embrace that the future is female.
Getting married is a terrible idea for many reasons, with divorce being a biggie. Although the divorce rate is falling, the reason for this is because millennials are putting off marriage because they are not financially ready, haven’t found ‘the one’ , and are not ready to settle down yet. Getting a divorce is one of the most stressful events that can happen in your life, along with moving, changing jobs, and losing a loved one. Save yourself the emotional drama, and get down to business. It’s time to focus on improving yourself and getting ahead in your career. Stop believing the marriage fairytale myth bullshit now women.
Did I mention how big of a distraction getting into a relationship is? When you are young and have a lot of energy, you should be working your ass off to make a good career for yourself and to create a better future for you. Don’t waste your time rolling the dice with a risky person who could be the biggest waste of your time. Stay true to you. Wait till you are in your mid-30’s or so. Make your own money, get your own car, pay your own bills, and remember that a man is not a plan. Get up and walk out away from the marriage fairytale romance women. Choose to accept the real world where the world and relationships are messy and being single is great instead of the marriage fairytale bullshit.
Summary
Have you heard of the double standard, as well? If you are a woman and get married, you just became the maid, the cook, the babysitter, the lander, and the full-time employee with a full-time weekly job. There is still a discrepancy with the pay gap and the responsibilities at home are still in the women’s court; however, men are becoming more involved with home responsibilities. Forget all the extra responsibilities, and take care of you, because you are number one! Take care of yourself, work out, eat healthy, save money, and become confident in who you are and double down in succeeding in your profession. Hold your breath this spring while love is in the air, you owe it to yourself to look out for you and become the best version of yourself, today! Give up on the marriage fairytale myth today!
Securely yours,
Danielle
Views expressed in this article are the author’s opinions and do not necessarily reflect the views of Secure Single. It is intended for informational and educational purposes only. It is not investment or financial advice. James Bollen is the author of Thriving Solo: How to Flourish and Live Your Perfect Life (Without A Soulmate). Now available in paperback and for the Kindle on Amazon. Subscribe to Secure Single’s Substack for free!
Engagement season is over. Wedding season is here. The wedding industrial complex remains alive and well. Singles who have friends and family members who are getting married this summer can see the wedding industrial complex in action as they shop and plan for their white wedding. The wedding industrial complex affects singles who want to get married by creating a list of requirements of what a wedding must have to have a memorable day. Summer is approaching and it brings the wedding season and the wedding industrial complex as brides and grooms plan their weddings.
Wedding Season And The Wedding Industrial Complex
The wedding industrial complex consists of everything that newly engaged couples are told that they need to have a memorable wedding. The list includes the wedding dress and tuxedo for the bride a groom, dresses and tuxedos for the wedding party, finding and paying for an event to perform the wedding ceremony, a location for new couple and their guests, a dj or live band, and providing food and drinks for the newlyweds bridal guests. The wedding industrial complex cost newlyweds $30,000 to $80,000 each year. While marriage is a good thing, it is problematic that couples believe that they needs to spend the average income that someone earns in a year to have a fairy tale white wedding. It is a special day, but it should not cost the newlyweds or their families an arm and a leg to pay to marry two people.
The wedding industrial complex encourages the soulmate theory by promising newlyweds that marriage is everything they will hope for so couples need to make a big ordeal from the engagement to the wedding. The engagement ring being the symbol of an engaged couples dates back to 1477, but it did not become popular until 1947 when De Beers launched the “A Diamond is Forever” campaign. This campaign, like the wedding industrial complex, created a need to a diamond engagement ring and other wedding sectors followed suit to create a need for couples to purchase wedding products and services. By connecting a product or service with true love and marriage, the wedding industrial complex was born. It is now part of a society that pushes dating, marriage, and Disney fairy tales on singles from birth.
Summary
Singles can resist and fight the dating and wedding industrial complex by first acknowledging that they are real. Singles who have friends and family who are getting married, tell them and let them know that there is no reason why they need to spend the median household income in the United States on a wedding. Singles can also learn facts about being single and educate others that the single life is a great life. Summer is near singles and summer brings wedding season and the wedding industrial complex.
Views expressed in this article are the author’s opinions and do not necessarily reflect the views of Secure Single. It is intended for informational and educational purposes only. It is not investment or financial advice. James Bollen is the author of Thriving Solo: How to Flourish and Live Your Perfect Life (Without A Soulmate). Now available in paperback and for the Kindle on Amazon. Subscribe to Secure Single’s Substack for free!
If you’ve noticed the increasing number of singles, women especially, it is because more often than not women prefer to stay single, rather than get into a time consuming and committed relationship. Single women are on the rise, marriage is on the decline, and it’s because we are focused on our goals.
Sorry, not sorry, the percentage of married couples is on the decline. The reason is that women in this day in age have more freedom than ever, and more opportunity than our past counterparts who paved the way and made these times possible. Women are starting companies and reinventing themselves through education and blazer focused career paths. We, myself included, do not depend on anyone other than ourselves to take care of ourselves. And with that, the world is our oyster, and we can get everything we want with the right attitude and work attitude.
Similar to men, women like the free reign of the single life. It is a walk that 99% of us go through, and some of us stay in. It all breaks down into values. But there is no denying that the independence of women is on the rise. Instead of rearing families, we women now satisfy OURSELVES first. Single women are deciding to put their careers and education first over getting married and having children today.
5 Reasons Why Single Women Are Not Getting Married
Personal Freedom is Everything
The thought of being single, drinking cocktails with the gals, wearing high heels, and having ‘no-strings-attached’ sex is fun. We have more time to ‘play’ and get down to business in our careers by starting a company or two. People in general lead happier lives when we work towards what WE want. This is the formula for a happy life. A securely single woman will make time for herself without feeling obligated to anyone else. Did someone say, Free Bird?
Career-Oriented Single Woman
Many women face the choice between being a career blazer and making well over $100,000K a year salary or raising a family doing thankless tasks. Freedom or slavery? I’ll take the $100,000K freedom 100% of the time. Focus on your goals and get a strong sense of fulfillment through your work. Similar to how men want to focus on their career before getting committed, women can do JUST THE SAME. More power to the V! The importance and reward of hard work should never be underestimated.
Personal Fitness Goals
More and more secure single females want to be able to achieve their personal goals and figure themselves out before they get into a relationship. How often do we hear of mothers ‘letting themselves go‘ to put their families first? Fuck that. You should never ‘let yourself go’. Complaining kids cure? Go for a run. You will get in shape, feel sexy, build mental toughness, and feel EXTREMELY good after you sweat. Everyone respects a person who takes care of themselves. DON’T fall into the ‘I want a family’ trap. Don’t have kids and don’t get married unless you have achieved all your goals. Know yourself, and know your worth. You are capable of SO MUCH. Become independent before you settle down with someone.
Happiness
Some securely single women are not interested in getting married, especially when they are trailblazing. Meeting and exceeding your goals in your career and fitness levels will make you happy because you will feel in control of your life. So many times, I date men that get mad at me for working long hours and not putting them first. Yes, the company is nice, but it is distracting. Cut out everything that distracts you, and don’t put anyone ahead of you. It may sound selfish, but if you do not look out for yourself, NO ONE ELSE WILL.
No Strings Attached Sex
Thanks to the sexual revolution, women can have sex through the dreary and horrible responsibility of raising a child. No offense here, men, but you are not committed enough. There are so many single mothers out there who’ve had men abandon them and their babies. Fuck that. Just have sex without the intent of starting a family. And if the guy turns out to be psycho, you can let him go without a ‘minnie-me!
Summary
To lead a happy life, go forth and focus on accomplishing your career goals, fitness goals, and finance goals. Make your life what you want it, and have fun while doing it. Your life will be less stressful and complicated when you are a secure single woman who is in control of your career, health, and finances. Go and be a badass!
Securely yours,
Danielle
Views expressed in this article are the author’s opinions and do not necessarily reflect the views of Secure Single. It is intended for informational and educational purposes only. It is not investment or financial advice. James Bollen is the author of Thriving Solo: How to Flourish and Live Your Perfect Life (Without A Soulmate). Now available in paperback and for the Kindle on Amazon. Subscribe to Secure Single’s Substack for free!
Marriage is idealized and has become an idol by people and by society. This is seen with the cuffing and engagement seasons. Here are the top ten ways how culture idealizes marriage.
Top Ten Ways Culture Idealizes Marriage
The One
The idea of The One is a fantasy that there is a perfect person out there for you. This ideal works nicely for Hollywood and romantic comedies because there is always a happy end at the end of the film. Real life is more complicated, relationships are messy, and this belief will hurt future romantic relationships.
True Love
True love means perfect romance. Utter perfection. Romantic love is divine. It is the goal of people to find true love to complete themselves. Only The One can do this. Do you live in The Matrix or in fairy tales? We didn’t think so either.
Prince Charming
For women, you are told to wait to meet their Prince Charming by Hollywood and by the media. Their handsome prince will rescue them from being single, be your true love, and then they will finally get their happily ever after.
Finding a Beautiful Bride (Damsel in Distress)
For men or Prince Charming, you must find and rescue your beautiful blushing bride to be from whatever monsters in their life they may be facing before they ride off together into the sunset for their happily ever after.
Proposal
The proposal is a cultural practice to show the person that you intend to marry by making a memorable and a big show for the announcement.
Wedding Dress
The bride’s dress is meant to celebrate that one life milestone and the dress being white was traditionally used to symbolize purity. It is a must-have because society and the wedding industry requires it because it is what every woman has dreamed about since birth.
Wedding
Weddings are meant to be big events to celebrate the newly married couple, their new life, and the Paramount of marriage. The big display places pressures on singles to get married as well with the bridal bouquet toss caught by the next person to get married.
Marriage
The theme continues. Marriage has been elevated to the be all and end all for people in society. The idealization of marriage makes it the only way to become fully accepted by your family and society. This hurts singles by making singlehood and singleness viewed as bad while marriage is good.
Happily Ever After
After you have found The One and gotten married, then you will have your life’s happy ending that is your life’s silver bullet. That is what happily every essentially means. This leads people to believe that their life will be happy and without problems after they get married and marry The One, which is not true. Since marriage is associated with happily ever after, being single is equated to sadness and loneliness.
White Picket Fence
After you get married and have your happily ever after, you will get your white picket fence and 2.5 children and live a fantastic wonderful life free of trouble with your true love.
Summary
These are the ten main ways that society and popular culture raises marriage to the miracle of social drug that it simply is not. Society idealizes and fetishizes marriage into something that can only be found in fairy tales and movies. The next time that you are watching a movie or discussing relationships with someone, be aware of these ten things, and don’t fall for society’s trap. Be realistic singles and enjoy being single.
Views expressed in this article are the author’s opinions and do not necessarily reflect the views of Secure Single. It is intended for informational and educational purposes only. It is not investment or financial advice. James Bollen is the author of Thriving Solo: How to Flourish and Live Your Perfect Life (Without A Soulmate). Now available in paperback and for the Kindle on Amazon. Subscribe to Secure Single’s Substack for free!
There are many people who are single who may want to date, but they do not date people who want to have kids. Many millennials are already faced with student loan debt and are working to pay it off while getting their careers on track. It’s distracting thinking about dating, and even about starting a family. We all want what we want, but we must first be willing to work hard for it. Some people were lucky to be born with a silver spoon in their hand, or to have had their college paid for by their parents. When you have both emotions and have student loans to pay of, you have got to work hard and can’t; deal with any distractions. Every minute matters. Here’s the breakdown in three steps:
Student Loans
They really suck. Trade schools are smart to get into because you can instantly go to work with real skills that are marketable to the world. When You get a general degree, making yourself marketable is tougher. Picking up a side hustle, getting into sales, and starting your own company are great ways to begin to pay off your student loans. You want to work to pay off all your loans and get into a financial position where you can breathe.College is expensive, and not really worth it. Ugh!
Career Focused
Yes, it’s true that millennials are the largest age demographic to be single, unwed, and childless, but it is also true that due to the student loan debt we have we are geared towards making a living and paying it all off. It’s time to be responsible. It’s time to get focused in our careers. Kids and marriage can come later in life, but in your 20’s you have so much energy to make things happen. What you do NOW will affect the rest of your future. You Have to be so careful how you spend your time, and you have to work towards generating GOOD cash flow to set up your future to be bright.
Be Free From Kids
Why bring children into the world when the divorce rate is at 50% and growing, and we live in a world where people are afraid of commitment. Relationships are messy. We need to set things up to counterbalance these events from happening. Use birth control and don’t get emotionally involved. People don’t commit, so why have children with them, especially out of wedlock? Be smart, and be safe.
In order to love better and have a more liberated life, you have got to work hard for what you want. It may require more hours but hey it’s your life and you need to find a way to make it worth something. Get out of debt, focus on your career, and don’t mess around with non-committal people because relationships are messy as it is. When You focus on you, and are bettering your life, you are truly living and being in alignment with your true self and making every second count. There is not a minute to lose, so focus on your goals, write them down, take steps towards them every day, and make what you do count. You can do it, and you are worth it to make your dreams and goals happen! Go get it!
Cheers,
Danielle
Views expressed in this article are the author’s opinions and do not necessarily reflect the views of Secure Single. It is intended for informational and educational purposes only. It is not investment or financial advice. James Bollen is the author of Thriving Solo: How to Flourish and Live Your Perfect Life (Without A Soulmate). Now available in paperback and for the Kindle on Amazon. Subscribe to Secure Single’s Substack for free!
Tim Keller of Redeemer Presbyterian Church in New York City explains the Christian concept of being single and how the Bible offers a theology of singleness. Pastor Keller describes how this is a unique worldview. Christianity is set apart in that it was the “very first religion or worldview that held up single adulthood as a viable way of life” (Hauerwas, S. 1991).
Theology Of Singleness
Western civilization idolizes individualism and self-realization and views marriage as something to get after reaching a certain point in life. Marriage becomes a means of self-fulfillment and an idol. Eastern civilization idolizes the family and makes everything revolve around it. Family becomes an idol. Christianity uniquely views singleness because there is no obligation to get married. Marriage is understood as a temporary earthly institution until the second coming with the new heaven and new earth. For singles who choose to get married, marriage is a sacrament meant to be an act of service. Christianity drastically changes both how marriage and singleness should be viewed by its followers. It also emphasizes that marriage will never give you everything you seek in life, which a person can find in Christ. This view is different from the world’s, of which Christians are called to be set apart from the world while remaining in the world.
Singles are not freaks until they get married. On the contrary, singles have a vital role in society, the church, and the family of God. Christianity’s understanding of singleness is unique because it acknowledges that being single is excellent. Singles can focus on God without being distracted by an earthly husband or wife. During the early church, widowed people would have to get married again to be cared for, but this view of singleness allowed widows to find a home in the church. Christianity says that it is okay to be single. Being single is a viable option. After all, Jesus and Paul were both single. Jesus, the perfect human being, was single and unmarried.
Paul is straightforward in 1 Corinthians 7 that a spouse can become an idol, and marriage can be made into something selfish. This upends marriage because relationships are supposed to be about service instead of self-fulfillment. In contrast, being single allows you to develop friendships and serve others. Singleness is a great gift. It frees single Christians from wanting to please their husband or wife instead of seeking to please the Lord. Christian singles should seek to grow closer to God and pursue God instead of finding a spouse to fulfill them on earth. Singles should not be pressured to get into relationships or to get married because Christianity offers an alternative worldview and a theology of singleness that makes it alright to be single in a world of couples.
Christian singles must be aware of the theology of singleness that the Bible teaches and that Paul articulates in 1 Corinthians about being single. Christians should seek to become closer to God. The single life offers that opportunity since a spouse and marriage can become idols and means of self-fulfillment instead of God. Single Christians must recognize this as they decide if they want to get married by realizing that Christianity teaches it is good to be single.
Views expressed in this article are the author’s opinions and do not necessarily reflect the views of Secure Single. It is intended for informational and educational purposes only. It is not investment or financial advice. James Bollen is the author of Thriving Solo: How to Flourish and Live Your Perfect Life (Without A Soulmate). Now available in paperback and for the Kindle on Amazon. Subscribe to Secure Single’s Substack for free!
There are many reasons why people are single. Some love being single. Some really just want to be in a relationship. For singles who desire a relationship; but who are currently single, they are single by circumstance. There is nothing wrong with being single and those are single by circumstance should wait until the right person comes along to date again.
Being single is often portrayed as being sad and lonely by the media and society. The single life’s values include independence and flexibility. Those who are single by circumstance can use the single life as a time of personal self-discovery, to learn more about themselves, and to prepare themselves for a future partner. While you are single, learn to take care of yourself and how to do basic home essentials from shopping to cleaning the house. This and other basic life skills that will better prepare you to assist your partner with household chores.
Those who are single by circumstance should take the opportunity of being single to learn more about themselves and go on life journey of self-discovery. The journey of self-discovery will allow singles to learn more about their likes, dislikes, and their life values. After you know what those you, you can determine if you are ready and find a compatible partner and want to no longer be single. This journey of self-discovery will help single prepare to find a compatible partner and they will know more about who they are as a person and mature in preparation for a potential life partner. Embrace your time as a single and prepare yourself for the one. Ultimately “the one” does not exist.
Soulmates are a myth. There are no soulmates. It is best to invest in yourself. If you choose to eventually date and marry, recognize that there is no perfect partner or spouse. “The one” is an illusion.
The single life provides flexibility and freedom. Singles can travel and explore the world while they are single by circumstance. Singles can also save, invest, and develop their professional skills to be able to provide for a partner and possibly a family. The single life is a great time to gain confidence and to build social skills so that you can talk and read nonverbal signals well from potential partners at social events. For those who are single by circumstance, take the opportunity and single life values to grow and mature in preparation for dating and finding a partner.
Ultimately, there is nothing wrong with being single and singles should not feel pressure to jump back into the dating scene. Those who are single by circumstance should be patient, focus on their career, and develop themselves and enter the dating scene only when they are ready and able to commit to a potential partner. Until that time comes, singles should enjoy the single life and not view being single as a negative life experience. Being single has plenty to offer and those who are single by circumstance can take advantage of all that the single life offers while single.
Views expressed in this article are the author’s opinions and do not necessarily reflect the views of Secure Single. It is intended for informational and educational purposes only. It is not investment or financial advice. James Bollen is the author of Thriving Solo: How to Flourish and Live Your Perfect Life (Without A Soulmate). Now available in paperback and for the Kindle on Amazon. Subscribe to Secure Single’s Substack for free!
Whoopi Goldberg on The View summarized a recent survey that found 61% of women prefer being single than to be in a relationship. The same survey found that only 49% of men prefer to be single.
The View hosts speculated that the reason why women prefer being single is because they are generally better able to take care of themselves and their living area while men generally learn those skills later in life. While it may be true that men may have more difficulty in learning to how clean and to care of their living space, it is a skill that can be learned by single men. Singles, both men and women, should know how to do basic household chores and how to shop for one person so they have the freedom of the single life.
“As it turns out, I am not normal and that is something that I have come to accept.” – Whoopi Goldberg
12 Ways Popular Culture Idealizes Marriage
Are you curious about how society idolizes marriage? No matter why you may be single, you can thrive as a single person. You can make the most of being single. Here are twelve ways popular culture idealizes marriage.
12 Ways Popular Culture Idealizes Marriage
The One
Popular culture spreads the myth that every person has a soulmate. A soulmate is someone you are meant to be with, no matter what. This myth is perpetuated through fairy tales, Disney movies, and the dating industrial complex. Soulmates do not exist.
There is no “one” person for you. You are the only person you need.
True Love
Popular culture also pushes the concept of true love. This follows from the soulmate myth. The idea of true love is that you can only love one person. The reality is that you may be compatible with multiple people. You can think of The Prince Bride, among other cultural concepts, of pushing true love.
Prince Charming
There is then the myth of Prince Charming. Prince Charming rescues the princess or damsel in distress from the monster that has captured her. She will then marry her Prince Charming.
The whole concept of Prince Charming is ludicrous. Every man has his flaws. There is no perfect person, yet society wants you to believe that there is someone who will come to rescue you.
There is no one coming to save you. Be it Prince Charming or someone else. You are responsible for rescuing yourself from your current situation.
Damsel In Distress
The damsel in distress is a woman who often has been taken by a villain. She is distressed because she is living in a tower or imprisoned. She is a captive to the villain or monster that has captured her.
The damsel in distress must wait for Prince Charming to rescue her. The problem with this is that it makes women weak. It makes women think there is a Prince Charming. It also makes people think they must wait for someone to rescue them rather than take action to free themselves from their situation.
No matter your circumstances, you can practice self-responsibility and work to improve your situation.
Princess
The princess is another familiar archetype in Disney movies and fairy tales. She often wishes for her Prince Charming to rescue her from her singleness. She does not want to be a princess. She wants to be a queen sitting beside her queen.
The problem is to be a queen, she must marry. You can live an extraordinary life without getting married.
Wedding Dress
The wedding dress has long been associated with purity—a virgin bride. As a result of the hookup culture, hookup apps, and the normalization of hooking up, this is no longer the case. Someone you may marry may not be pure, let alone a virgin. Yet a bride can wear the dress on the day of the wedding.
It does not matter why you decide to marry someone, but the traditional concept of what the wedding dress symbolizes continues to become more archaic. That is a consequence of what popular culture has deemed acceptable behavior. It does not matter who is wearing the dress as long as you love the person, yet the wedding dress has long been a vital symbol to showcase a woman’s purity to her husband on her wedding night.
Find A Beautiful Bride
Prince Charming is told that he must find a beautiful bride. This results in two main problems. Men start to succumb to unrealistic beauty standards. Men want every woman to be a supermodel or at least a seven to a ten.
For women, they must do everything that they can to present themselves unrealistically to men. This requires women to buy makeup, get boob jobs, and other things which they believe will make them more beautiful.
Society’s emphasis on beauty is problematic. While caring about one’s appearance is worthwhile, it can be taken overboard. You no longer are doing it for yourself. You are doing it to please other people, Big Beauty and Big Wedding, to get a date or to get married.
It is best to be true to yourself. You could save and invest that money rather than spend it on beauty and other temporary products.
Proposal
Engagements and proposals are another major event. People are told to celebrate when someone is proposed to. It does not matter if it is a friend or a celebrity.
They were proposed to, so you must be happy. You must celebrate them by liking their proposal and engagement posts on social media.
Wedding
Weddings are celebrated as one-in-a-lifetime events. Never mind that divorces are becoming more common. Yet you are told to celebrate the bride and the groom’s wedding.
You are encouraged to plan your schedule around two people you may never see again after their wedding day. They may not be together a couple to a few years after attending their wedding. Weddings have become expensive, overrated, and not worth the time and money to attend.
Marriage
Marriage continues to decline in popularity. What is the point of committing yourself to another person when you could enjoy life alone? What about the risks that come with divorce?
Modern society has made it so that it is best not to marry. This is fine because you can live an extraordinary life as a single person.
White Picket Fence
Once you are married, you are told to build a white picket fence around your house. You then are advised to have two-and-a-half children. It does not matter if you can afford your house or the children.
You must reproduce. Your needs do not matter. You must care more about reproducing than caring for your own needs.
Happily Ever After
Happily ever after is another myth that society pushes onto singles. It follows from the belief in finding your soulmate, marriage, and the white picket fence. You are told to find the right person, purchase the right house, then have children. You will then be happy.
You do not need to marry to be happy. You can be happily single. You can enjoy a single life. You can live your best life without marriage, yet popular culture tells you that is impossible.
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Strategies For Singles To Survive A Recession
Summary
Popular culture pushes many myths upon singles, from soulmates to marriage being the only way to happiness. The reality is that you can invest in yourself to reach your full potential. It is best to invest in yourself rather than focus on others. Whether you want to date or marry eventually, focus on yourself and work to reach your goals instead of placing dating and marriage on a pedestal.
Views expressed in this article are opinions of the author and do not necessarily reflect the views of Secure Single. James Bollen is the author of Thriving Solo: How to Flourish and Live Your Perfect Life (Without A Soulmate). Now available in paperback on Amazon. Subscribe to Secure Single’s Substack for free!