I want to share some confessions of a serial dater— From yours truly.
These 3 confessions of a serial dater are mine all mine. Yep. I’ve been on (gulp) hundreds of dates. My parents have learned to accept this about me.
My girlfriend even made me swear to a “no-dates-rule” while spending the weekend with her teenage daughter and I kept my promise. These are my confessions as a serial dater.
Confessions Of A Serial Dater: Singles Don’t Need Dating To Be Happy
Some might say I have a dating addiction.
I prefer to say I have more time on my hands than most as a self-employed person. Being an entrepreneur gives me the freedom to generally do what I want when I want.
There is something else that can give you loads of freedom. Stopping your swiping-dating addiction and spending some time dating yourself.
Breaking your serial dating addiction also gives you more time than you can imagine. It’s refreshing. I stopped dating for one solid month and it was one of the best choices I’ve ever made.
I have some confessions I’ve never shared with anyone around dating and some tips to help you stop if you have an addiction.
Confessions of a serial dater #1
I used to spend about four hours per day when I first got online—Responding to every man (or woman) that messaged me. I wasted days of my life doing this.
How to stop being a serial dater tip # 1:
Only send messages to people you are truly interested in meeting. Stop messaging every person that sends you the first message. You will have more time and flexibility in your life by making this one simple change.
It may piss some people off who are on the other end— But I hope you do yourself a favor and respect your time and their’s.
I spent 1460 hours sending messages to men (this is only one year’s worth and I’ve been online dating for about 10 years). That much messaging in one year equals 60.83 days of my life.
Wow. I can’t believe I spent that much time messaging people I didn’t meet and probably never will. I wonder what 60.83 days times ten years . . . Oh nevermind. I don’t want to know what I could have accomplished, I’m still catching up from all that wasted time.
Confessions of a serial dater #2
I went on dates with men I wasn’t interested in.
Research on dating was taking over my life. I’m a dating coach and writer, so this just seemed like a natural thing to do so I could blog about it. I finally realized that I didn’t need to have a partner to be happy and didn’t have to date all the time. I had also already done plenty of research in the dating field.
This was a Eureka moment for me. I could spend time getting to know myself instead of looking for happiness over dinner, drinks or coffee with a stranger.
How to stop being a serial dater tip #2:
Date yourself. When you learn how to be happy where you are— Your life will expand to horizons you’ve never dreamed of!
Confessions of a serial dater #3
Attention makes me feel good, and you probably like it too.
I’m an extrovert and get energy from meeting new people. But spending time alone helped me get in touch with my introvert side. This was a good thing. I learned how to focus on writing more because I wasn’t on a date every single night.
How to stop being a serial dater tip #3:
Take a break from getting too much attention from other people. Give yourself some attention instead.
I noticed when I was dating constantly (sometimes three dates in a day), I was focusing on quantity— Not quality.
Get yourself some quality dates with yourself once in a while. It’s good for your soul.
Some people I went out were used as time fillers (sorry guys!) until I talked to someone I really liked. Becuase, you know . . . attention. I like it. Now I like to give myself more attention than I used to do.
There was something I learned in my dating-less time. When I put my attention on my insides— Instead of looking for things (mainly dates) on the outside— My life became more enriched because I learned about myself.
When you take a dating break and start to date yourself— You can figure out what is important to you. Ask yourself some questions:
- What makes you tick?
- Hobbies— Which ones makes you happy?
- How can you make yourself feel fulfilled by yourself?
- What can you do to make yourself happy doing mundane things?
Then do the things that make your heart sing and do them often enough to give your batteries a good recharge.
I had spent so much time learning about men as a dating coach so I could catch a man and teach others how to do it— I had forgotten about myself in the process.
Focusing your attention on your insides will help you discover things about yourself that you never imagined. It’s like when you look at the stars you may see/feel/hear things that are unexpected.
Expect the unexpected when you date yourself. When you stop focusing so much on finding “the one” you just might find yourself.
Lots of Love,
Dina Colada
Views expressed in this article are the author’s opinions and do not necessarily reflect the views of Secure Single. It is intended for informational and educational purposes only. It is not investment or financial advice. James Bollen is the author of Thriving Solo: How to Flourish and Live Your Perfect Life (Without A Soulmate). Now available in paperback and for the Kindle on Amazon. Subscribe to Secure Single’s Substack for free!
Taking a dating break is a good idea because dating burnout is real. Swiping left, swiping right, sending and responding to too many winks, likes and messages can be exhausting. You’d rather shrink down and become a microscopic-sized person and dive into your cafe au lait than listen to another boring date at the coffee shop.
Although the reasons why you need a break might be unclear to you now — You know in your heart the dating madness must end. Instead of being inspiring, it feels like a waste of time.
Even if you are looking for love— Sometimes your heart and your soul need a reboot beforehand. If you don’t even want to comb your hair and brush your teeth before a date— It’s time to lay low.
If you want a girlfriend or a husband down the road, it’s not always the right time to look for love. It is fine to take a break and here are four reasons why singles can benefit from a dating break.
Singles Benefit From A Dating Break
There Are Lots Of Reasons You May Need To Be Taking A Break From Dating
- You may be in a funk.
- Your car needs an alternator— You can’t physically pick up your dates.
- The heartache from your past relationship isn’t over.
- You’ve seen Jim, Stan and Steve on all three dating sites you’re on. Digital marketing is your focus.
- Your three angel children take up too much of your time.
Although it doesn’t matter why you need some space, there are plenty of reasons why taking a break from dating is incredible for you.
It’s Better To Be Alone Than To Wish You Were Alone
Rather than settling for someone who seems OK, but doesn’t meet your criteria for a partner— It’s much better to wait until you find the right person to settle down with instead of settling.
Wait until the time is right and you are ready. What’s the rush? You, the person you are going to meet and the love you’ll share aren’t going anywhere.
Be patient with yourself. Love is infinite.
If you jump into a relationship with the wrong person, according to Psychology Today— If you have past trauma from a previous relationship— A new relationship can re-trigger feelings of disappointment, anxiety or depression.
So if you’re still grieving from the past, it’s smart to not jump into anything too soon.
When you are taking a break from dating you have time to be introspective and change things that don’t serve you.
Taking A Break From Dating Can Help You Stop Bad Habits
If you look at online dating apps because you’re bored, this will give you time to break the addictive pattern of swiping just to do something. You can fill your life with physical action and interaction— Not cyber-action.
Instead of swiping right on people with people you’re not interested in— You can commit the time you would have spent swiping— With yourself.
A Dating Break Is The Perfect Time To Reconnect With You
When was the last time you took time for yourself? One week? Six months? Or seven years? Single time is your time. Enjoy the possibilities.
If you’ve always wanted to go to the Florida keys— Go! You can do it alone and give yourself some sweet toes-in-the-ocean-time. Taking a breather is just what your single-soul ordered. It’s time for you to chill.
Or if you’ve ever dreamed of making pottery, —Sign up for a ceramics class. Get your glaze on and create something that will give you a sense of creativity and accomplishment. While you learn a new skill, you’ll also build your social network.
You can have tea time on Sunday afternoon. While you eat finger sandwiches, you can show off your psychedelic-coffee-beer-stein to your little friends. And that’s not all.
The Dollar Signs In Your Checking Account Will Grow
You’ll save tons of money by taking a break from dating. Meeting up and trying to impress someone you may never see again can take a toll on your wallet.
According to the Washington Post, in 2016 the average single dating American spent $1,596 on their dating life. Yowza. In some cities, it was hundreds of dollars more per year.
The cash spent on dating site fees, coffee bar tabs, restaurants, and rides to meet and pick up your date can take a toll on your wallet.
These are the cash things that are front and center. What about pedicures, visits to the salon, makeup, new clothes for dates and matching accessories? It all adds up.
Summary
Take your new found money and add up how much you would have spent if you had five dates this month. I’m guessing you could stash away a few bucks, stock up on socks for the year or have a dinner party with some new friends. Invest in something that will brighten your today or your tomorrow.
Being single is incredible. It’s your time to prove it to yourself!
Lots of Love,
Dina Colada
Views expressed in this article are the author’s opinions and do not necessarily reflect the views of Secure Single. It is intended for informational and educational purposes only. It is not investment or financial advice. James Bollen is the author of Thriving Solo: How to Flourish and Live Your Perfect Life (Without A Soulmate). Now available in paperback and for the Kindle on Amazon. Subscribe to Secure Single’s Substack for free!
Singles get into risky romantic relationships too often for the wrong reasons. Singles get into risky romantic relationships merely to not be lonely without realizing that relationships can be lonely too. Singles get into relationships to distract themselves from being single and to fit into the norms that society wants people to fit into with relationships. Risky romantic relationships are not the answer in life for singles. Singles should seek personal happiness and learn self-love instead of tying self-worth to risky romantic relationships.
Singles And Risky Romantic Relationships
Society equates romantic relationships with personal happiness. Dating and romance are a cause of stress, hurt, and emotional scars to singles who have experienced bad relationships. Romantic relationships can be risky because you make yourself vulnerable to the romantic interest. While there is nothing wrong with wanting to date, being in a relationship, or marriage, romantic relationships are placed on a pedestal. Society sends the message to singles that your value as a person comes from being in a relationship with someone when nothing could be further from the truth. Your value as a person does not come from dating, living with a partner, or from marriage. Your dignity as a person, single or not, is innate to you. Focus on developing yourself while single instead of getting lost by the distraction of a risky romantic relationship.
Romantic relationships are distractions. There are more important milestones in life than dating and marriage. Singles need to refocus from always pursuing being in a relationship to learning to enjoy being alone, personal development, and finding personal happiness. It is healthy to be alone so there is no reason to be a serial dater. It is important for singles to have life goals and to work to achieve those goals whether it may be improving your personal health to starting your own business. It is most important to learn to be happy with yourself and to seek what makes you happy in life. Your life has value without a partner and dating does not add to your natural self-worth as a person. Focus on yourself singles and learn to love you!
Romantic love is idolized and fetishized by society while self-love is placed lower by culture. Self-love is the key to learning to be at peace with yourself. Self-love means personal happiness because you have to lover yourself first before you can let others into your life as a friend or a significant other. Singles should strive for self-love and personal happiness instead of seeking to find it in risky romantic relationships. Once you are able to fully love yourself and to be happy with who you are, then you can truly begin to live as a single.
Summary
You can fully enjoy life once you begin to love yourself for who you are a unique person. There is nothing wrong with being single. Being single is a time of self-discovery and an opportunity to live life to the fullest without the distractions of a significant other. Singles should pursue self-love and personal happiness instead of chasing each risky romantic relationship after another. Choose to thrive as a single person today instead being distracted by a romantic relationship.
Views expressed in this article are the author’s opinions and do not necessarily reflect the views of Secure Single. It is intended for informational and educational purposes only. It is not investment or financial advice. James Bollen is the author of Thriving Solo: How to Flourish and Live Your Perfect Life (Without A Soulmate). Now available in paperback and for the Kindle on Amazon. Subscribe to Secure Single’s Substack for free!
Most of the people I know, or who I am “friends” with on social media, are dating or are married. I have no interest in dating and I am happily single. While some may think there is an obligation to date from social pressure and from single shaming, I choose to remain happily single. For anyone who asks why I am not dating and are surprised that being single is a good thing, I give them the bird. I am not looking for a relationship and here are ten reasons why I am happily single while everyone else I know is in a relationship.
10 Reasons I Am Happily Single In A Dating World
Freedom
I have the freedom to do what I want, when I want, where I want, and how I want twenty-four hours a day seven days a week three hundred and-sixty five days a year.
Flexibility
I have the flexibility to make my own schedule around my week and my priorities. I do not have to work around a significant other, or get a significant other’s permission, to do something. The flexibility of the single life also allows me to spend time helping others and to volunteer.
Security
I am a Secure Single. I know that my value does not come from being in a relationship or from marriage. I know that my value as a person is innate and that is true about everyone else too. It does not matter what their relationship status may be.
Travel
I have the ability to travel when I want to and to make trips to visit family, friends, or to see the world. Solo travel is really popular now and I am not afraid to travel alone.
Career
I am in my late twenties and I am focused on my career. This requires that I complete graduate school, study for information technology and cybersecurity certifications, and focus on making Secure Single the best that it can be for those who are single and unmarried. I also want to work to improve the poor state of cybersecurity by starting my own cybersecurity company in the future.
Diversity
There is a diversity among those who are single and unmarried that I need to continue to explore with Secure Single. There are people who are single by circumstance, single again (divorce, partner died, or a romantic relationship ended), single at heart, single by choice, celibate, and for religious reasons. The single life is more complex and diverse than society wants those who are single and unmarried to know. I want to continue to dig deeper into the diversity of the single and unmarried life.
Explore
The single life provides the opportunity for me to explore Denver and to explore new things without the restraints of being in a relationship. I would rather explore the world than be confined by a relationship.
Autonomy
I have the ability to direct my life as I see fit unrestrained by a significant other, a partner, or a spouse. I am able to govern myself as I see fit without being influenced by a romantic relationship that requires compromise between two people.
Experiment
I am able to experiment and try new things from recipes, restaurants, and testing different philosophies. I can experiment, test, and live my best life single.
Live
I am able to happily live my life single because there is so much more to life than dating and marriage. There are many ways to be happily single and unmarried. That will look different for me and it will look different for you. I am happily single because I am focused on my education, career, and I am not interested in dating and getting married at this time. I am happily single and I am currently single by choice.
Summary
Being single is fantastic and it is important to be happily single instead of believing that the single life is purgatory between birth, dating, and marriage. The single life is a wonderful life. Being single is awesome. If you are like me and have a majority of friends who are dating or married, choose to be happily single. Enjoy the single life and resist the pressure to date. I choose to improve myself while loving the single life. Do the same. I am a Secure Single who is happily single in one of the many forms that the single life can look like for singles.
Views expressed in this article are the author’s opinions and do not necessarily reflect the views of Secure Single. It is intended for informational and educational purposes only. It is not investment or financial advice. James Bollen is the author of Thriving Solo: How to Flourish and Live Your Perfect Life (Without A Soulmate). Now available in paperback and for the Kindle on Amazon. Subscribe to Secure Single’s Substack for free!
I don’t really know what’s wrong with the world, and how we got here, but I do know we can fix ourselves to be a better life position in financial health, physical health, and emotional health. Many of us experience traumas devastating heartaches that make it difficult us to love others, and that is when we are labeled ‘emotionally unavailable’. We want to work on ourselves and know that it is okay to be emotionally available, for now. To work past traumas and become more whole and complete people, we need to work on ourselves, to heal the past so we can be fully present to create the future that we make into a glorious and abundant life. We are worth it, and we can begin today to heal ourselves from emotionally unavailable to a whole and complete person today. Follow these three steps if you are single by circumstance and emotionally unavailable.
Take Inventory Of Yourself
This can mean writing down all the mistakes you have made, and to develop a way to forgive yourself. Let others know you are sorry for hurting them, if you have done so, and begin to treat yourself with kindness and compassion. This begins the healing process and helps you start to get to the root of why you are emotionally unavailable.
Start Going To Group Therapy
You will actually enjoy the process of going to group therapy. It is a way to be open and honest with yourself to others. We all have issues, and when we can talk about them it helps to release all the pent up hurts to clear the way for healthier thoughts and feelings to grow. It all starts with the willingness to release the past, and begin to think better thoughts about healthy, post[equity, and loving relationships. There are people all around us who have a balanced life. You can have it too. Group therapy helps us to release our feelings in a safe environment.
Do Things That Build You Up
Often when we are working to become emotionally available for our friends and family, doing activities with people that build us up help polish us into stronger and more confident people. Spend time with people that celebrate you and make you feel good, and in turn, celebrate your friends for their amazing characteristics and rejoice that you have good relationships. Friends make life a great place to live. In fact, when you do sports activities with friends, you build a memory that trend gens your relationships. When you do healthy activities and creative activities, you grow as a person.
From Emotionally Unavailable To Emotionally Available
Through all this, remember that it is possible to be emotionally available as a single person. You can begin being emotionally available when you are ready to build deeper and more meaningful relationships. It is possible for you to be able to connect with people, and to live a fulfilling life with others. You can begin today by following the simple process. Live the life you desire, and be a full single person. You can do it, and you can begin today to start the process. You are worth it!
Cheers,
Danielle
Views expressed in this article are the author’s opinions and do not necessarily reflect the views of Secure Single. It is intended for informational and educational purposes only. It is not investment or financial advice. James Bollen is the author of Thriving Solo: How to Flourish and Live Your Perfect Life (Without A Soulmate). Now available in paperback and for the Kindle on Amazon. Subscribe to Secure Single’s Substack for free!
There are many people who are single who may want to date, but they do not date people who want to have kids. Many millennials are already faced with student loan debt and are working to pay it off while getting their careers on track. It’s distracting thinking about dating, and even about starting a family. We all want what we want, but we must first be willing to work hard for it. Some people were lucky to be born with a silver spoon in their hand, or to have had their college paid for by their parents. When you have both emotions and have student loans to pay of, you have got to work hard and can’t; deal with any distractions. Every minute matters. Here’s the breakdown in three steps:
Student Loans
They really suck. Trade schools are smart to get into because you can instantly go to work with real skills that are marketable to the world. When You get a general degree, making yourself marketable is tougher. Picking up a side hustle, getting into sales, and starting your own company are great ways to begin to pay off your student loans. You want to work to pay off all your loans and get into a financial position where you can breathe.College is expensive, and not really worth it. Ugh!
Career Focused
Yes, it’s true that millennials are the largest age demographic to be single, unwed, and childless, but it is also true that due to the student loan debt we have we are geared towards making a living and paying it all off. It’s time to be responsible. It’s time to get focused in our careers. Kids and marriage can come later in life, but in your 20’s you have so much energy to make things happen. What you do NOW will affect the rest of your future. You Have to be so careful how you spend your time, and you have to work towards generating GOOD cash flow to set up your future to be bright.
Be Free From Kids
Why bring children into the world when the divorce rate is at 50% and growing, and we live in a world where people are afraid of commitment. Relationships are messy. We need to set things up to counterbalance these events from happening. Use birth control and don’t get emotionally involved. People don’t commit, so why have children with them, especially out of wedlock? Be smart, and be safe.
In order to love better and have a more liberated life, you have got to work hard for what you want. It may require more hours but hey it’s your life and you need to find a way to make it worth something. Get out of debt, focus on your career, and don’t mess around with non-committal people because relationships are messy as it is. When You focus on you, and are bettering your life, you are truly living and being in alignment with your true self and making every second count. There is not a minute to lose, so focus on your goals, write them down, take steps towards them every day, and make what you do count. You can do it, and you are worth it to make your dreams and goals happen! Go get it!
Cheers,
Danielle
Views expressed in this article are the author’s opinions and do not necessarily reflect the views of Secure Single. It is intended for informational and educational purposes only. It is not investment or financial advice. James Bollen is the author of Thriving Solo: How to Flourish and Live Your Perfect Life (Without A Soulmate). Now available in paperback and for the Kindle on Amazon. Subscribe to Secure Single’s Substack for free!
The fall and winter seasons are a time when singles are expected to find a significant other. This time is called cuffing season. It is called cuffing season because it is believed that singles desire to be cuffed or tied down to a serious relationship and to bring a significant other back home during the holidays. There is no reason why singles should be expected to become cuffed to someone during fall and winter to please their family or society during the holidays.
What Is Cuffing Season?
It is interesting that dating relationships equate to cuffs during this season. In contrast to the values of the single life, romantic relationships take away peoples’ freedom and flexibility to be with another person. By spending time with that person; they take time away from personal development, self-discovery, and improving their professional skills as an individual. The energy that would go into advancing yourself as a person are now spend wholly with someone else.
The hypothesis behind why cuffing season exists is because as the weather gets colder during the fall and winter months and people stay indoors more, they want to date someone to cuddle and spend time with instead of being alone. This is a fascinating theory for cuffing season because the number of social events increase during the fall and winter holiday season. Singles can find events to attend in there city and that does not require having a plus one. By spending time with others, the desire to get cuffed this holiday season may decline because it is healthy to be around people. There is also nothing wrong with watching Netflix and drinking hot cocoa on your couch in your house or apartment. It is actually healthy to spend time alone. Singles should not feel shame or pressure to get cuffed into a relationship.
Be Free During Cuffing Season
There is pressure to get cuffed and to have a date for New Year’s and Valentine’s Day. These are unhealthy expectations for singles. In fact, the pressure for singles to get cuffed for the holiday season is just wrong. Singles are now the majority of the American population and are a rising demographic in industrialized countries. Society’s assumption that people are best coupled stigmatizes singles and is singlism. The holiday season should be a time where people spend time with family and friends. There should not be pressure for singles to get date during cuffing season.
Singles should be happy and uncuffed during cuffing season because there is nothing fun about being tied down to a bad relationship. Singles should spend time exploring their city or going home to their families during the holidays instead of seeking out a romantic relationship. Remain free and uncuffed!
Views expressed in this article are the author’s opinions and do not necessarily reflect the views of Secure Single. It is intended for informational and educational purposes only. It is not investment or financial advice. James Bollen is the author of Thriving Solo: How to Flourish and Live Your Perfect Life (Without A Soulmate). Now available in paperback and for the Kindle on Amazon. Subscribe to Secure Single’s Substack for free!
There is a common idea held by society that when two people get together after 7 pm that it is a date. This misconstrues relationships into being things that they are not and affects friendships. Two people can meet after 7 pm who are friends to catch up and have a good conversation without it being a date. Here are seven reasons why any two people can meet up after 7 pm and it is not a date.
Work Gets In The Way So It’s The Only Time
One person may work long hours and they are not able to meet with their friends any other time of the day. Since they are busy with work and finishing what they need to do in their life, 7 pm works the best for the two friends to get together.
Friends Can Get Together Anytime
There are twenty-four hours in a day. Friends can meet anywhere at any time to have a conversation. 7 pm does not change the nature of the relationship. Time is an accidental cause while friendship is intrinsic. People can be hang out with friends after 7 pm without it being a date.
A Conversation Over Dinner
There are people who enjoy food who are known as foodies. These friends may want to visit the hot new restaurant in town and 7 pm is generally when restaurants are the busiest so it is the best time to get the complete experience. They can also try the menu and enjoy each other’s company. Again, not a date. Two friends who like good food.
A Conversation Over Drinks
Cocktail lounges and speakeasies are making a comeback. The best ones don’t open until 5 pm. Depending on the time of the week and schedules, 7 pm or later works best for two friends to meet to enjoy a well-crafted cocktail by a master mixologist.
Good or Best Friends
The friends who are willing to work with their friend’s schedule to meet later in the day most likely are good or best friends. They enjoy hanging out with each other and share enough mutual interests that they can have a great conversation anywhere and at any time of the day. The time of day does not dictate when friends can and cannot go out to a place to hang out.
Evenings Are More Interesting
Mornings and afternoon get together with friends often mean meeting for coffee or maybe a quick drink somewhere during happy hour. Those can both be great, but evenings and nights are when cities come alive and people start to have fun at bars and restaurants. After 7 pm is when people start to cut loose because they can finally relax after their day and have fun! This is when popular bars and night clubs start to get customers and it is a time for when friends can get together for a fun night.
Friendships Do Not End After 7 PM
Again, the time and the place where two people decide to meet after 7 pm does not dictate that it must be a date. The time could have been decidedly upon randomly or it could have been planned by the two friends for the above reasons. Excuse me, but I have to meet a friend for cocktails and it is after 7 pm. It is definitely not a date.
Views expressed in this article are the author’s opinions and do not necessarily reflect the views of Secure Single. It is intended for informational and educational purposes only. It is not investment or financial advice. James Bollen is the author of Thriving Solo: How to Flourish and Live Your Perfect Life (Without A Soulmate). Now available in paperback and for the Kindle on Amazon. Subscribe to Secure Single’s Substack for free!
Thanksgiving dinner is the first holiday dinner that singles will have to go to this holiday season where family, extended family, and friends will ask you questions that are on all of their minds. Why are you still single? When was your last relationship? Why are you not dating anyone? When are you going to have children? While people are single for different reasons, there is nothing wrong with being single. This is a conversation recipe for how to respond to your family and friends interrogating questions about why you have no significant other.
Why Are You Still Single?
Directions: You are single because you found that the single life has much more to offer compared to when you were dating x, y, or z. In fact, you don’t see why it is a problem. Why are you asking me why I am single, you are not asking them why they aren’t divorced yet or how their marriage is going?
Recipe Variations: You are taking a break from relationships right now. You are content being single and have found that it better than dating. Or, you are single by choice and are not interested in ever getting into a relationship. You respect their choice to stay married, get divorced, live with their partner, etc; why can’t they respect your choice to remain single?
When Was Your Last Relationship?
Directions: Insert the number of years since your last relationship, now describe the values of the single life and how you have found them to benefit you while being in a relationship constrained you from achieving your potential. You can also say how you enjoy being single and you don’t know when your next relationship will be, you may be on a break, or that you have no interest in dating anyone.
Recipe Variations: You can point out that singles are on the rise, millennials are delaying marriage, and relationships can be overrated.
Why Are You Not Dating Anyone?
Directions: Describe that the need to date and to become a serial dater is a repercussion of society’s dating industrial complex. There is no need for people to date to be in romantic relationships when friendships can actually be more worthwhile. The need to always date has driven people into a relationship hysteria and to not recognize that the single life is worth living. You are enjoying your time being single and being able to focus on developing yourself instead of having to take care of someone else.
Recipe Variations: Pick the dangers of dating and online dating, especially in light of all the recent sexual assault and abuse scandals. Consider adding a generous dash of sass, spice, or sarcasm about the dating industry and people always being in relationships as you want.
When Are You Going to Have Children?
Directions: You can say that you have never asked about their sex lives and whether or not they planned to have their children or if they are considering having more. How is this an appropriate question?
Recipe Variations: This is one of the more direct and uncomfortable questions to be asked, you are welcome to retaliate to the question as you think is best. The response range can range from a jalapeno to ghost pepper, dependent upon the context and tone of the person who asked it. There is nothing wrong with being childless. It is fine to be single and childless.
These are four short and easy conversation recipes to guide you through those awkward questions that family and friends love to ask singles at Thanksgiving. Please use a generous dash of the ingredients and spices of your choice when responding to each question as the circumstances require. Turn up the heat and watch these questions burn in flames.