Involuntary Celibate

An involuntary celibate is someone who is single but wants to have sex.

Involuntary celibacy has been in the news  because of the Toronto Van Attack and an underground online community of people who call themselves incels. However, for every normal form of something there will be a radical form too. Incels have something that is common for some singles, involuntary celibacy, and have radicalized not having a sex life. If you are an involuntary celibate, that does not make you an incel. There are singles who want to have a sex life, but who currently do not have an active sex life. Singles who are involuntary celibate should not feel ashamed for not having a sex life since there are many ways to find sex today. These are three ways an involuntary celibate can get an active sex life.

3 Ways An Involuntary Celibate Can Hook Up

Involuntary Celibate


You can find anything you want on the Internet. If you can’t find it on the Internet, it may be on the Deep Web or Darknet. For those who are an involuntarily celibate, the Internet provides sex sites along with hookup sites. There is really no reason to be an involuntary celibate if you are looking for sex today. Top Internet sex sites include LiveJasmin, ImLive, EvilAngelLive, LivePrivates, and Joyourself. These websites charge per minute and allow models to make their own rates.


For an involuntary celibate who is looking for a more personal encounter or to add passion to life, there are sex hookup sites. The top Internet hookup sites include Ashley Madison, FriendFinder-X, NoStringsAttached, XMatch, Adult Friend Finder, iHookup, Passion, and Get It On. These hookup websites range from offering a free base membership to charging $50 a month to access the website’s users.  The Internet offers many ways for an involuntary celibate to connect with someone for a night of passion.

Involuntary Celibate


There are a range of apps that singles can use to find sex as an involuntary celibate. These apps will work for Android, iOS, or both. Tinder is the most well-known app for hooking up, but there are many more that singles can utilize. Bumble is another popular app that allows you to find friends as well as to standard hook up. Happn is an interesting app that tracks your location with other users within a thousand feet of you so that you can see how many times you have encountered the person and connect over the app. For those who are looking for a more professional app, there is Coffee meets Bagel. CMB gives a suggestion a day and then when there is a match between two users allows eight days for the users to meet after chatting over the app. For those singles who identify as gay or bisexual, Grindr is an app that allows you to view user profiles to mingle and hook up with others in the community. While apps are useful for finding someone to meet with or hook up with, hooking up with someone you find attractive in real life is always a great option too.

Involuntary Celibate

Night On The Town

There are many places where you can hook up with someone as an involuntary celibate. These places include bars, restaurants, parties, and clubs. The way to get someone’s attention while you are having a night out requires preparation, conversation, and commitment. The first step is to have good hygiene and to be well-groomed in all the right areas. That means yous should take a shower, apply deodorant and cologne or perfume, and shave any facial hair as well as your nether regions. You will next want to dress to impress. For men, wear a nice pair of jeans or slacks with a dress and a blazer. For women, you can wear anything from a dress to a skirt to jeans with a range of tops for your night out on the town. Ultimately, dress in what makes you comfortable and meets the dress code of the location. Research your bar or talk to your friends to know which bars attract singles. Those bars will be the best places to increase your chances for a successful hook up.


The best places to find someone to hook up with are normally popular and happening places downtown. Invite one or two friends who are confident and who have had success in the past with hook ups to be your wing men or wing woman to help you meet your goal for the night: get laid. You will then need to attract the person’s attention who you are interested in by using nonverbal body language and see if the person of interest returns nonverbal signals back to you. Once you have caught someone’s attention who is interested in you, buy them a drink. If they are with friends, get their attention by buying a round for their friends too. Buying a round of drinks is only a way to get their attention and to make them aware of your presence at the bar.


Once they have accepted your drink , you can now go over and introduce yourself to the person of interest who has sent reciprocal nonverbal communication back to you. You can start by engaging in small talk about the music playing and ask what they do. If it is obvious that they are into you, then you can give compliments on what they are wearing and ask more personal questions about their hobbies, interests, and topics that arise in the conversation. After you have determined their level of interest in you, you need to read their body language to decide if they want to potentially hook up with you. You can test if they are into you by making physically intimate moves by touching their hair, face, shoulder, and waist. If they are not interested, apologize and say that you misread their body language and move on. However, if they are interested and return the displays of affection than be confident and invite them back to your place or get a room in a nearby hotel. If the hook up is successful, always remember to have safe sex.

Involuntary Celibate

These are three common ways to find someone to hook up with to no longer be an involuntary celibate. It will require you to explore the Internet or to download an app, be confident, and to be able to read nonverbal communication. Singles need to be confident and enjoy being single. Hooking up as a single is a way to revel in the single life. Remember, just because you may be an involuntary celibate does not make you an incel and there are many ways to find someone to hook up with for sex.


Secure Single provides a forum for a diverse variety of perspectives, ideas, experiences, and resources and does not take official stances. All writers speak exclusively for themselves. Concurrently, any quotes, shares, reposts, interviews, etc. do not imply endorsement by Secure Single LLC or its curators. Now go live your best single life!
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James Bollen is the Founder and President of Secure Single. He is an entrepreneur and a content creator with the goal of helping all different types of singles to learn to thrive as a single person.
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