It can  be difficult being single when your friends, family, and society says you must date or get married. As someone who gets asks if I am seeing or am interested anyone, I understand how it goes. The most important thing you can do is to pursue what you love and point out that out to anyone who asks about you love life. Being single is great and you do not need a significant other. It is perfectly fine to be single and here are five ways to deal with people who pressure you to date.


Let Them Down Softly


Simply be nice. It is important to love family and friends, even though they can difficult to put up with. In this option, explain to whomever it is who is pressuring you to date that you are not interested in dating or have no urge to date. You can also describe how singles now outnumber the married population.


Dating Questions


When people ask you if you are seeing anyone, or if you are interested in anyone, they are implicitly telling you that your value as a person comes from being in a relationship. Single shaming is common in a society that places value on someone for their relationship status. There is more to life than dating or getting married. Let them know this and tell them how you enjoy spending your time instead of being in a relationship.


Relationships Do Not Give You Value as a Person


Society says your value as an individual is given to you by being in a relationship. This idea is false. An individual’s value is the same whether they are single, dating, or married. A person has intrinsic worth as an individual that cannot be taken given or taken away from them by another person. If someone is placing pressure on you to date, and you are not ready to date or you enjoy being single, tell them that you value yourself enough as a person that you don’t need to date.


A Relationship Does Not Complete Someone


Movies, television, and popular culture portray singles in a range of negative ways. Popular culture incorrectly believes that a person need to find another person to become complete. Society falls for the soulmate theory that singles are missing their other half that completes them and until they find that other person singles are incomplete. The soulmate theory hurts singles by placing pressure on them to date and to always be in relationships. This is problematic because singles who want to date may get into an unhealthy relationship to satisfy their friends and family while hurting themselves. Another problem with the soulmate theory and the idea that society pushes for singles to get into a relationship is that some people enjoy being single. The easiest thing to tell someone who is shaming you to be single and to date is to let them know that a relationship does not complete you and that the soulmate theory is a myth.


Some People Enjoy Being Single


The single life is a good life. It offers many benefits that are lost once someone begins to data or get married. There advantages of the single life include security, autonomy, flexibility, and diversity. Singles are secure in who they are and that the single life is worth living. Singles also recognize that the single life offers them autonomy to go and to do as they please without another person restraining them. The single life offers singles the flexibility to travel unrestrained and to live as they want unhindered by another person. There is also a diversity among singles from singles who recently got out of a relationship and who may want to date to singles who have chosen to be single. If you have no interest in relationships, the simplest answer is to tell your friend that you enjoy being single and that you have no interest in getting married. It is that easy.


The next time someone gives you a hard time for being single, tell them these five points and help them realize that the single life is a wonderful life.

Views expressed in this article are the author’s opinions and do not necessarily reflect the views of Secure Single. It is intended for informational and educational purposes only. It is not investment or financial advice. James Bollen is the author of Thriving Solo: How to Flourish and Live Your Perfect Life (Without A Soulmate). Now available in paperback and for the Kindle on Amazon. Subscribe to Secure Single’s Substack for free!
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James Bollen is the Founder and President of Secure Single. He is an entrepreneur and a content creator with the goal of helping all different types of singles to learn to thrive as a single person.
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