For someone to decide to commit one’s life to living as a single person comes across as bizarre and absurd in a society that loves and adores couples. As I wrote in my post concerning Valentine’s Day about the different types of love, eros originally was understood in the classical world was an act of an individual to devote oneself to a higher cause. Today the individual is often hailed as the center of all of life. The opposite of this that can also be seen often is that society as a whole, a collective, is the ends of an individual. Both of these, while having aspects of truth, neglect the call of an individual to commit themselves to something beyond oneself. Individuals may choose the vocation of singleness in order to devote oneself to that higher calling, an ideal, as eros was traditionally understood to mean in the classical world.
I was at an event in Denver, Colorado called Pint with a Priest that is held at Platt Park Brewing Company in Denver, Colorado by Our Lady of Lourdes Parish in January. At the event someone asked the priest if there is a vocation to living a single life. The priest’s short answer was that an individual must decide commit oneself to live a life that one chooses, but in so doing must also seek for ways to contribute to the common good. This answer demonstrates that there is nothing wrong with being single or living the single life. Some people may choose to get married. Some people may choose to remain single. It ultimately is a personal decision about how an individual decides how is the best way for one to life one’s life.
Whether married or single, an individual chooses one of the main two options should still contribute to the common good of society. For married couples, the family is the foundation of society as Aristotle writes in Politics:
First, then, there must be of necessity be a conjunction of persons who cannot exist on the one hand, male and female, for the sake of reproduction… on the other, the naturally ruling and ruled, on account of preservation…. [this leads to how] the household first arose… [because] the household is the partnership for the needs of daily life… [and this] partnership arising from the union of several villages that is complete is the city” (II 2-8, p 35-35).
Family is prior to the city, or society, and the political institution of government. It provides future citizens and individuals who will contribute to the economy and society. If one or both individuals of the couple work as well, they also contribute economically to society through their work. By having children and working is how couples normally contribute to the common good. However, single people who do not have children — with the exception of single parents– should find an ideal to devote themselves to if they commit their lives to the vocation of singleness.
Aristotle is concerned with how a polity comes about in the Politics and for this reason focuses on bringing and upbringing of children since the family comes before the city and nation according to the classical view. For this reason, Aristotle does not expand on the other two classical understanding of the purpose of marriage. Aristotle was concerned with the question of human flourishing, or eudaemonia, and its connection to virtue. This was why he wrote about marriage and its connection to the creation of society. Following Aristotle’s explanation above about how the state comes about, there are two other parts to the classical understanding of marriage. These are love and spousal unity. The classical view understood marriage with these two parts of marriage -love and unity- along with the generation and upbringing of children was a natural cause of the love between the couple. It was understood according to certain classical philosophers, particularly Aristotle, that society was made of multiple families and that the family unit was the foundation of society. (Secure Single plans to write future articles presenting different views on marriage since the classical view is only one view among many).
In the classical world, this meant devoting one’s life to the higher ideals of philosophy. An individual would practice and seek to attain Truth by studying philosophy or becoming a priest at a temple to one of the classical gods. Forms of this are still found today where an individual decides to commit ones life to the Church by becoming a priest, a religious order, or by becoming a monk in various religions found in both the East and West. However, someone who decides singleness as a life choice does not need to become a monk or a priest to live a life of singleness.
In the modern world, an individual can decide to devote oneself to a cause or a community that one is passionate about to better the world and society as a whole. (Secure Single plans to write future articles presenting different views on how best to live the single life since there are more than one view). Some examples could be for a single person to volunteer one’s time to help the poor, to volunteer one’s time to a variety of causes from civil rights movements to helping communities get clean water, or to devote one’s life to business or politics as ways for an individual to give back to society and the common good. An individual’s particular worldview will inform the ways that one will decide to contribute to one’s particular society and to the common good in the society in which one lives. Once an individual has found the cause or community that one is passionate about, one needs to seek to spend a majority of one’s time to that cause. In this day and age, that can be physically going to a place or helping out by getting the word out about an issue in the variety of mediums available today that the Internet provides that are accessible to most people around the world. Time and commitment to a cause or community is the key, along with passion for the subject matter to living a life of singleness.
The reason why a single person may decide wants to give oneself to more than just one’s daily routine is if an individual believes there is a greater and common good that one should contribute to as a person. This would entail that this particular individual holds to the classical view of arête that there is a proper function of a thing. Arete simply means that there is a proper function for how to use a thing, for instance the purpose of scissors are to cut, and similarly this would means that humans have a proper function as well as human nature. The classical ideal of vocations recognized marriage, priesthood, or giving oneself to religious life and for singles who choose to follows this classical understanding the single life of singleness naturally follows from the classical conception of arête.
The classical world and classical philosophy was very concerned with how one ought to live. The modern world and modern philosophy was not concerned with that question but with simply how to live life. Remember, eros for Plato did not mean romantic love, but rather, it was the goal to seek and to understand through reason all that True, Beautiful and Good and than to live life after attaining the knowledge of the higher forms. This is because this Eros is more than just romantic love, eros is devoting oneself to a higher ideal. It is according to this classical view that a single person should use one’s skills to help a community, cause, or issue that one is passionate about in life. Singles who choose a life of singleness should commit oneself to the classical understanding of eros by devoting themselves to a cause above oneself.
Views expressed in this article are the author’s opinions and do not necessarily reflect the views of Secure Single. It is intended for informational and educational purposes only. It is not investment or financial advice. James Bollen is the author of Thriving Solo: How to Flourish and Live Your Perfect Life (Without A Soulmate). Now available in paperback and for the Kindle on Amazon. Subscribe to Secure Single’s Substack for free!
Valentine’s Day is a day that modern culture has adopted to celebrate romantic love between couples who are dating, who are partners, or who are married. Despite society only acknowledging romantic and erotic love on Valentine’s Day, philia and agape are other types of love that provide single people an opportunity to celebrate Valentine’s Day this Sunday. Since there are other types of love besides erotic love, here are ten ways that single people can celebrate the single life and being single this Valentine’s Day.
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- Go out for drinks or get dinner with your best friend or a group of friends to celebrate philia.
- Study the different theories and types of love that philosophers, theologians, and socialists discuss and debate. Contemplate love with a fuller meaning and discuss with a friend or write a page about your finding and, possibly, new discoveries about the different types of love that Valentine’s Day fails to celebrate.
- Look into ways that you can give back to your community.
- Study and seek to attain the true eros that Plato considered by contemplating the nature of the Theory of Forms and the implications of it in life.
- Call you family members and tell them that you appreciate them, or at the very least try to reconnect and catch up with them.
- Consider being more respectful and showing agape love to people who you greatly disagree with in the heated areas of politics, religion, and ethics and decide to show them love. This will challenge yourself and will allow you to grow as an individual.
- Be active and go work out or try to get in touch with the beauty of nature by doing an outdoors activity.
- Do not feel sorry for yourself for not having a boyfriend or a girlfriend on Valentine’s Day and sit at home eating ice cream in your bed, couch, or living area.
- Acknowledge the fact that we are all born into this world alone and we will leave this world by dying alone.
- Do not read or watch any based upon Nicholas Sparks or romantic comedies.
This Valentine’s Day, celebrate the different types of love as a single person. Celebrate the love of friendship. Celebrate the love of community. Celebrate the love of humanity. Do not only think of Valentine’s Day as a couples’ holiday.
Views expressed in this article are the author’s opinions and do not necessarily reflect the views of Secure Single. It is intended for informational and educational purposes only. It is not investment or financial advice. James Bollen is the author of Thriving Solo: How to Flourish and Live Your Perfect Life (Without A Soulmate). Now available in paperback and for the Kindle on Amazon. Subscribe to Secure Single’s Substack for free!
The English language is an imprecise language compared to other languages, especially classical languages such as Greek. Love in the English language could mean a range of things from loving one’s wife or husband to loving chocolate. English does not clarify what type of love a person means when one says “love.” The Internet Encyclopedia of Philosophy expounds on this problem by explaining that because love is “broadly defined and hence imprecise, which generates first order problems of definition and meaning, which are resolved to some extent by the reference to the Greek terms, eros, philia, and agape.” Society celebrates Valentine’s Day as a day devoted to romantic love while dismissing philia and agape love in favor of erotic love.
Erotic love is the type of love commonly associated with love by modern society and the type of love that Valentine’s Day celebrates today. Erotic love, or eros, IEP explains “refer[s] to that part of love constituting a passionate, intense desire for something; it is often referred to as a sexual desire, hence the modern notion of “erotic” (Greek erotikos)”. However, the modern notion of erotic love is not what Plato had in mind in Phaedrus. When Plato talks about erotikos in Phaedrus he describes a love that is universally known by humanity and transcends a particular beauty of an individual. Practically, this means that an individual’s particular beauty points to the higher form of Beauty that is in the world of Forms or Ideas following Plato’s Theory of Forms. However, Aristotle’s conception of romantic love recognizes that there is a “special love two people find in each other’s virtues-one soul and two bodies” (Ibid). It is Aristotle’s version of romantic love between two people that is understood today by modern society and the kind that is being celebrated this Valentine’s Day. For most singles in the state of singlehood, romantic and erotic love is the type of love that one does not normally experience in life until a single person transitions from singlehood to a romantic relationship.
The type of love most singles experience is what the Greeks called philia. The classic Greek philosopher Aristotle elaborates upon philia in Rhetoric noting that “things that cause friendship are: doing kindnesses; doing them unasked; and not proclaiming the fact when they are done” (Rhetoric, II. 4). The love of philia is associated with appreciating ones’ friends, family, loyalties, and different communities that one is involved with in life. This means that there are different types and different levels of philia from having best friends, to family, and to professional work relationships. For single people, phila will be the most common love that singles will experience during single life. This Valentine’s Day, celebrate philia love with your fellow single friends by doing something different than what the modern holiday celebrates this Sunday.
Agape is the final type of love that the classical world separated from eros and philia. While philia distinguishes between different levels of friendships between people and eros is romantic –and devoted love to ideals—love between lovers or partners, agape “refers to the paternal love of God for man and of man for God” (IEP). Agape love is a universal love that applies to all of humanity. This is the Golden Rule to “do unto others as you would have them do unto you” and to love your enemies. This incorporates personal self-love with loving others. Everyone is capable and able to experience agape love by either a relationship with a spiritual entity or by showing love to all of humanity. Single people and married people can share and grow in agape love between friends and with people that they have never met as well as by showing respect between those who are single and those who are married. Love your neighbor as you love yourself.
Remember that Valentine’s Day only celebrates one type of love in a very narrow sense: eros. Single people should be able to celebrate the holiday too by celebrating philia love with their friends and family. Valentine’s Day should also be used to celebrate universal humanity and to apply the Golden Rule of to love others, and your enemies, as you love yourself on the holiday. These three distinct loves are often forgotten because the English language is imprecise. Reconsider the love that society celebrates on Valentine’s Day and celebrate philia or agape love instead this Sunday.
Views expressed in this article are the author’s opinions and do not necessarily reflect the views of Secure Single. It is intended for informational and educational purposes only. It is not investment or financial advice. James Bollen is the author of Thriving Solo: How to Flourish and Live Your Perfect Life (Without A Soulmate). Now available in paperback and for the Kindle on Amazon. Subscribe to Secure Single’s Substack for free!
Modern society and dating websites adore the concept of the soul mate theory. It allows for easy promotion and marketing while responding to clients concerns for matchmakers when someone does not find a suitable date. Hollywood and television love the soul mates too because it an easy story. The usual soul mate story in media is an easy formula: boy meets girl, boy likes girl, girl likes boy, girl/boy gets separated, and but despite inevitable odds they both end up successfully getting together! Despite society’s fascination with the soul mate theory, what is the origin of this popular theory that enthralls individuals, the media, and society? The Soul Mate theory can be traced to Plato’s Symposium where he philosophizes about love and his friend Aristophanes. It is Aristophanes who presents the Soul Mate theory as an origin story for the human race and who is responsible for this theory that now plagues society.
Aristophanes’ Soul Mate theory goes like this. There were three different types of round beings. One type was male connected to male. The second type was female connected to female. The third was androgynous with a male connected to a female. This round creature had to roll around like a ball in order to move around and across the Earth. One day, as is common in classical mythology, these round creatures decided to attack Zeus up on Mount Olympus. They lost. Zeus cursed them initially by splitting them in half. This created a problem for these creatures. The problem was that their split halves desired connection and sought their original missing half in order to become whole again. But the secondary problem was that they could not truly connect with their other half the first time because their sexual organs were on the back of their bodies. Zeus with all his mercy, or really just desiring more worship, was kind to the creatures that would become the human race and made the placement of mankind’s sexual organs in order that they may have pleasure, procreate, and produce more children who would worship Zeus. He also gave humans a torso, a belly button, and nipples. (This story also answers the question of why both sexes of human have nipples.) Since the human race could now reproduce after finding there other half, Zeus would ultimately receive more worship as the human race multiplied on earth Zeus was satisfied.
If the Soul Mate theory is the foundation of romantic relationships and the romantic ideal of love, then it would make more sense to remain single. Remaining single is the better option statistically, if this myth were true. Secure Single is more concerned with the practical application of this theory for couples and singles in society, but for those mathematically inclined who still want to hold on to idea of the “the one” you can read this article by BrainPickings to learn that the odds are never and cannot work in your favor with this theory. Additionally, in Aristophanes’ story the other half would eventually die after wondering aimlessly around the world if it was unable to find “the one” part that completed the original whole. Despite the fact that it would die if unable to find “the one”, the better option and use of time would be to enjoy life, succeed in what the one half thinks is valuable in life, and just enjoy the single life rather than spending one’s entire life seeking the lost half from Zeus’ curse upon humanity.
The single life provides different social and life benefits than does being in a romantic relationship or seeking “the one” in life. The single life gives an individual freedom to go and act as one pleases in life without an attached other person. This allows an individual to move around, without having to worry about a missing half and travel freely from location to location without having to be worried about the concerns or input from the other half. Finally, it also allows for an individual to spend time how one wants rather than having to go out to bars, restaurants, speed dating events, and join an online dating website in order to increase a person’s utterly hopeless odds in finding, meeting, and falling in love with “the one.”
The next time you are watching a movie, shows, or reading a book where two star struck and star crossed lovers miraculously end up together, you can thank Plato’s friend Aristophanes’ for his story from the Symposium. Since finding love in life is the focus of the story and finding one’s soul mate ultimately completes a person according to society, the option of being single should presented equally in society and in the media. Regardless, the soul mate origin story is entertaining and preposterous. Secure Single is pretty sure that there are enough couples in society that the human race will continue without any problems and single people can contribute to society in their own ways without having to worry about angering Zeus.
Views expressed in this article are the author’s opinions and do not necessarily reflect the views of Secure Single. It is intended for informational and educational purposes only. It is not investment or financial advice. James Bollen is the author of Thriving Solo: How to Flourish and Live Your Perfect Life (Without A Soulmate). Now available in paperback and for the Kindle on Amazon. Subscribe to Secure Single’s Substack for free!
How I Met Your Mother was a long running show that ran for nine seasons. The show follows Ted Mosby as he seeks his one true love in New York City while he tells his children how he met their mother twenty five years in the future in 2030. In the meantime, Ted hangs out with his best friends Barney Stinson, Marshall Eriksen, Lily Aldrin, and Robin Scherbatsky at a local bar as he dates other women, sleeps around, and is overall an insecure single man. After he discovers completes his love story he finally whole and secure as a person. There are many popular shows that portray single people as being anxious in the state of singlehood and unsure of themselves until they date someone and get married do they become confident but How I Met Your Mother is the strongest instance in television. Single people should be aware of how singles are stereotyped in television shows, particularly romantic comedies, and not accept the media’s propaganda that the single life is bad.
How I Met Your Mother depicts the single life inconsistently throughout its nine seasons while stereotyping singles as either players, nerds, or workaholics. Barney Stinson is the successful and confident womanizer who enjoys the single life because he can freely sleep with any women. In contrast, Ted Mosby is the architect nerd who is lonely and unable to enjoy himself despite receiving recognition in New York City for a building that he designed. Ted is miserable as a single person and is only happy when he is a romantic relationship. Robin, similar to Ted, is a successful is pursuing a career in the news and eventually becomes a successful newscaster but she never is fully happy until she gets back together with Ted in the final episode of How I Met Your Mother. The single life and singlehood is a mess in How I Met Your Mother. Time to break it down the components for single men and single women.
For single men, television portrays singles either as being a shallow libertine or a competent boob (what Barney calls Ted a boob once while they are at a strip club). In this way, television sends two contradictory messages about single men. Single men are sophisticated womanizers and are able to get any woman that they want because they are charismatic and know exactly what to say or are pathetic imbeciles. There is no middle ground. Further, How I Met Your Mother characterizes Barney as living a hallow life until he briefly marries Robin where he finds brief fulfillment from his promiscuous life. In contrast, Ted is a boring single architect who does not know his way around women. How I Met Your Mother, through Ted, suggests that single men are incompetent when it comes to talking or dealing with women in real romantic relationships. In addition, with the Ted typecast, single men are unable to balance a work life with a romantic life unless they are casually sleep around with women or find the mysterious “One.”
For single women, the message from How I Met Your Mother through Robin is similar to Ted, but in an ironically opposite way. Robin is always searching for a successful romantic relationship, but her job and dream of becoming a successful newscaster always get in the way of promising potential suitors. The reason why How I Met Your Mother depiction of single women through Robin is ironic is because of mainstream feminism argues that women do not need a man to be happy and can find happiness in their work; yet the How I Met Your Mother sends the contrary message to single women. Robin does not achieve full happiness until she finally gets married to Ted at the end of the show despite becoming a star newscaster in New York City. Television likes the idea of women being strong and independent that mainstream feminism seeks to provide to women in society yet television shows such as How I Met Your Mother are more concerned that single women are ultimately most satisfied with life once they are married and find the “One.”
How I Met Your Mother sends contradictory messages about the single life to both single men and single women. Single men are either extremely successful and skirt-chasers or boring weenie geeks. How I Met Your Mother displays single women as aspiring to find happiness in work and by reaching their way to the top, but are in reality unable to find that happiness until they marry a man. Numerous examples abound in the media from television to movies of single men and single women stereotypes, but How I Met Your Mother is the clearest example from the media and singles should take a stand against the typecasting of single people in the different types of media.
Views expressed in this article are the author’s opinions and do not necessarily reflect the views of Secure Single. It is intended for informational and educational purposes only. It is not investment or financial advice. James Bollen is the author of Thriving Solo: How to Flourish and Live Your Perfect Life (Without A Soulmate). Now available in paperback and for the Kindle on Amazon. Subscribe to Secure Single’s Substack for free!
The Oracle of Delphi was a Priestess in the ancient Greek city of Delphi. The inscription of the maxim was written the Temple of Apollo at Delphi and was visible to worshippers as they entered the temple and a favorite maxim repeated often by the classical Greek philosopher Socrates. The maxim “Know Thyself” means that it is important for individuals to understand oneself and one’s nature and after one understands oneself, then one can understand the nature of other people. The Greek maxim is as applicable today as it was in about 10th Century B.C. For singles in the state of singlehood, “Know Thyself” is helpful because one should know one’s strengths and weaknesses before entering into a relationship and in life.
It is important that am individual is aware of one’s strengths in personal, romantic, and professional relationships. Strengths are the abilities that one has and uses every day. An individual should accurately gauge one’s strengths and act upon them. After an individual assesses and is aware of one’s strengths, then one has become more aware of oneself and of one’s realistic capabilities in life. These strengths can than be applied to a variety of relationships in daily life.
Likewise, it is important that an individual knows one’s weaknesses. In contrast to knowing one’s strengths, one should know one’s weaknesses because they are skills that one lacks knowledge or expertise. Further, it displays to others that one has humility and one does not seek to control all aspects of something by oneself because one knows and understands one’s limits. Similarly, knowing one’s weaknesses in life will make one more attractive to an employer or in different contexts of personal relationships in singlehood.
When it comes to personal or romantic relationships, it is wise for an individual to know one’s strengths and weaknesses in life. This knowledge will create meaningful discussions and show to your friend, or romantic partner, that you know what you able to do proficiently as well as you are not able to do by yourself. Communication, verbal and nonverbal, is essential to any type of relationship. If you want to succeed in professional, personal, and romantic relationships in life, then it is important as a single person to “Know Thyself.”
In the year 2016 A.D., there are still many lessons that modern civilization can learn from classical Greece. For single people, it is paramount that one learns what one’s strengths and weaknesses are in life. This will help in professional and work life when applying for jobs or when a boss asks if you can successfully finish a new job by a deadline. This knowledge will help when working on personal projects for solving problems in daily life or helping friends because you can communicate about the things that you enjoy and that you dislike doing because you know your skill set. For romantic relationships, you are able to articulate to your romantic partner what skills and knowledge you bring to the relationship and learn to work better as a team. The Temple of Apollo in Delphi taught a wise maxim to visitors of the temple to “Know Thyself” and single people today should apply this aphorism throughout one’s life.
Views expressed in this article are the author’s opinions and do not necessarily reflect the views of Secure Single. It is intended for informational and educational purposes only. It is not investment or financial advice. James Bollen is the author of Thriving Solo: How to Flourish and Live Your Perfect Life (Without A Soulmate). Now available in paperback and for the Kindle on Amazon. Subscribe to Secure Single’s Substack for free!
It has been 2016 now for nearly two weeks. The tradition of making New Year’s resolutions is more common in the West than in the East, but both hemispheres take part in the tradition. New Year’s resolutions will vary from person to person and the goals that each person seeks to achieve for the next year. Secure Single has made a list of sixteen New Year’s resolutions that single people should consider making, or acting on, in 2016.
- Write down who your five closest friends are and stay connected with each about both the good and bad things happening in life.
- Ask someone who you think is interesting to coffee, lunch, or dinner and get to know that person more as a friend. (Asking a single person to do either of those things does not necessarily make it a date.)
- Write down two, five year, and ten-year goals for your life that you want to achieve and work on making them become reality.
- Volunteer at a food bank, soup kitchen, or for a cause that you want to spend your time giving back to your community.
- Call your parents and siblings once a month.
- Do not use your phone at the table when you are with others for coffee, lunch, or dinner.
- Do not go out to eat as much and learn how to cook.
- Learn how to successfully keep a budget and work on paying off any debt that you may have this year.
- Explore your city or town.
- Clean and organize your house or apartment.
- Read a book that you have been meaning to read.
- Read, respect, and consider the opposing sides arguments on topics and subjects that you disagree and learn how to respectfully make your case with those with whom you disagree about politics, philosophy, and religion.
- Get the recommended amount of sleep (7 to 10 hours).
- Arrive to work, events, and meetings on time.
- Take an online class or get lessons on a subject that you want to learn.
- Spend less time on Facebook, Twitter, Youtube, or [insert favorite social media here].
Views expressed in this article are the author’s opinions and do not necessarily reflect the views of Secure Single. It is intended for informational and educational purposes only. It is not investment or financial advice. James Bollen is the author of Thriving Solo: How to Flourish and Live Your Perfect Life (Without A Soulmate). Now available in paperback and for the Kindle on Amazon. Subscribe to Secure Single’s Substack for free!
Society pushes on single people that they are only valuable to society if they are dating or married. There is nothing inherently wrong with this since human connection is important, but there are different degrees and different types of human love. On a deeper level, though, society neglects and underplays the importance of friendship in individuals’ lives in favor of romance and erotic love. Robert Waldinger, in a Ted Talk, explains that Harvard University conducted a study that found people who had social connections and close friendships lived longer than people who were lonely and who isolated themselves from human connection. Contrary to society’s portrayal of single people, singles have the ability to form a close community of social connections and human relationships that have been found to make individuals live longer. Singles should seek to find a core community to form various levels of social connections with other people.
Society and the media often portray singles as being lonely and isolated. It is important that single people have a core group of friends that they can talk to and interact with in life. Further, it is important that singles become confident in their singlehood by attending different events in their home city or town, even if they are unable to find a friend to go. It is healthy that everyone, but especially singles, should leave the house or apartment for social interaction. Physical interaction with others has been found to increase how long one will live and one’s overall health. Social media can both help singles to find events attend, but it can also help lead to further isolation.
In the age of the Internet and social media, virtual relationships have become common. It has changed how we interact, in both good and bad ways, with others. On the positive side, it can find events in their town or city that relates to their interests to meet new people and to interact with more people. On the negative side, social media can become a virtual reality where people spend all of their time without interacting with another physical person. Use social media as a tool to get out of the house or apartment to meet new people. Websites such as Meetup and Facebook events that Facebook recommends are great ways to meet new people with similar interests and to build a community. In addition to social media to find events, singles should find be involved in communities. Single people should strive be involved with a community such as their family, church, community, events, hobbies, or causes that one cares deeply about to form friendships. Singles should have a few close friends and build a community in order to combat against society’s stereotype of singles as being lonely.
After getting involved with a core community, begin to develop a couple of close friendships. The quality of one’s close friendships will influence how long one will live. Single people can develop these close friendships, whether they are living a life of singlehood or a life of singleness. One does not need to be dating or need a romantic relationship to develop this level of friendship. Society, the media, and Hollywood say the contrary. In the age of social media where a single person can have thousands of friends on social media, social science research has found that individuals’ can have at most five close friends. Ultimately, a single person needs close friends for the benefits of personal health and to build a strong community.
Social and human interaction is important and provides many personal health benefits to individuals. Singles should find people and communities that they enjoy hanging out to have social interactions with other people. Social media is a great tool to discover new events that may be interesting and to meet new people at different events. With a society that portrays singles as being lonely and isolated, it is vital that single people show otherwise by seeking out events that they enjoy and to find a core community that they want to help while developing close friendships with a few friends.
Views expressed in this article are the author’s opinions and do not necessarily reflect the views of Secure Single. It is intended for informational and educational purposes only. It is not investment or financial advice. James Bollen is the author of Thriving Solo: How to Flourish and Live Your Perfect Life (Without A Soulmate). Now available in paperback and for the Kindle on Amazon. Subscribe to Secure Single’s Substack for free!
December 2015 is nearing an end as January 2016 becomes nearer every day. The different holiday parties are winding down for the busy holiday season, but New Year’s is the final big celebration for 2015 to bring in 2016. It can be difficult to host parties as a single person. If you have never hosted a party before, below is a list of ten things to make sure to have prepared before and at the time of the event. Here are ten ways to make hosting a holiday or New Year’s party easier as a single person.
- Greet all of your guests who come, welcome them to the party, and take their coats. Be a good host.
- Fill a punch bow with your favorite punch or eggnog for the holiday event for the primary drink for the party. Provide wine and beer for guests at the party too.
- Clean and organize everything at your place before your guests arrive to the party that you are hosting.
- Buy or make your own vegetable and fruit trays. Make your own or pre-order a meat and cheese platter for the number of guests to attend the party.
- Provide crackers, chips, and salsa and Guacamole for snacks for guests.
- If you have time to cook, cook easy party recipes such as stuffed peppers, cheese and crackers, and bacon-wrapped apricots with sage. Be sure to cook ahead of time!
- Play music to the event festive to create the right atmosphere for the event.
- Provide water and soda for guests at the event who do not want to drink alcoholic beverages.
- Clean your place ahead of time, especially the living area and the bathroom. Decorate you apartment or house with simple decorations that you can find at your favorite grocery store, store, or the dollar store.
- Send out invitations, email or Facebook event invites, at least two weeks ahead of time so that people are aware of the event and can plan to attend the event.
Views expressed in this article are the author’s opinions and do not necessarily reflect the views of Secure Single. It is intended for informational and educational purposes only. It is not investment or financial advice. James Bollen is the author of Thriving Solo: How to Flourish and Live Your Perfect Life (Without A Soulmate). Now available in paperback and for the Kindle on Amazon. Subscribe to Secure Single’s Substack for free!
The holiday season can be a rough time of the year. It is a time of travel. It is a time of seeing and talking to those family members or old friends that you only see one time a year. The holidays are busy with baking, cooking, and eating with family and relatives. If you are in a romantic relationship, then you will have to meet all of your significant other’s family members eventually during this season. The holidays, even as a single person can be tiring, that is why Secure Single has compiled a list of ten thoughts on being single during the holidays:
- Be confident in your independence as a single person! Don’t have a boyfriend or girlfriend? So what! Celebrate your singlehood or singleness. Be a secure single!
- Celebrate the holidays and bring in the New Year exactly how you wish without having to compromise by negotiating with a significant other!
- You don’t have to visit your boyfriend or girlfriends family over the holidays. Hang out with your favorite friends and don’t worry about going out during the holiday season to do the things that you want to do!
- Spoil yourself by getting exactly what you want for Christmas!
- Have fun around the mistletoe at holiday parties since you don’t have a significant other.
- Have fun! Do crazy things in a Santa Morphsuit in your city or your favorite bar. Have a friend who wants to join you? Be a Santa and Elf duo! You can purchase the morphsuits here:
- Don’t want to travel home or to a significant other’s place during the holidays? You don’t have to because you are single and not tied down in a romantic relationship!
- You are responsible for your own happiness. Another person cannot help you find what makes you truly happy since they are not you!
- You don’t have to decorate for the holidays if you don’t want to.
- You don’t have to answer questions about your current relationship, how things are going, where you see it going, and if he/she is ‘the One’ since you are single.
