5 Reasons Young People Leave Romantic Relationships Behind

In a society that wants people to date, marry, and reproduce, the idea of men and women not wanting to date seems counterintuitive. Why are people deciding to leave romantic relationships behind? Here are five reasons why people choose to leave romantic relationships behind.

Leave Romantic Relationships Behind

Leave romantic relationships behind and invest in yourself. Everything is likely going to continue to become more expensive. The 20th-century way of doing things often does not work in the 21st century. These are some reasons why people decide to leave romantic relationships behind.

Working Long Hours

People now work long hours just to be able to make ends meet today. Yet, many people in the United States do not have an emergency fund or even a thousand dollars to cover an emergency. There is a point where if a person can no longer enjoy some of the basic things that previous generations have enjoyed, then why work long hours for horrible pay? It is a reasonable action when a person is not optimistic about the future.

Never Being Able To Afford A Home

Redfin recently reported a person must now be in the six-figure club to afford a home. Owning a home has been the cornerstone of what has been called the “American Dream,” which has become the American Nightmare. For many who make under six figures a year, the hope of owning a home is beyond their reach.

Rising Cost Of Living

Along with no longer being able to afford a home, the cost of everything continues to rise due to inflation. Food prices are rising. Health and car insurance premiums are rising. Utilities are rising.

The middle class is being squeezed and shrinking. The working and lower classes were already having difficulty getting by, but now it is nearly impossible to survive without going into debt.

Lower Living Standards

If someone tries their best just to get by and live as minimalistic a life as possible to avoid debt, they must drastically lower their living standards. Even then, someone may not be successful. A medical emergency, a car accident, or another unforeseen problem may arise that is out of one’s control.

Millennials and Gen Z are moving back in with their parents. The hope of ever being financially independent for some young people is becoming a real concern.

Unable To Provide For Oneself

There is no reason to consider a romantic relationship if someone cannot provide for oneself. Financial security plays a vital role in self-confidence. Personal finance is essential in being able to take care of oneself. Yet, society intentionally does not teach young people the basics of personal finance. The result is a failure.

You must make enough money to put food on the table for yourself. You must be able to pay your bills. Find ways to eliminate unnecessary spending by following a budget. Live below your means. Pay off any debts. Save money. Find ways to invest and grow your money and net worth.

Financial independence is one way to develop self-confidence. There are three levels of financial freedom.

Solutions

The old way of going to college and hoping for a good-paying job no longer works. You want to focus on your strengths, find a niche, and work to build an online business. There is no guarantee of success. Begin by working to turn a side hustle into an online business. You can add passive income streams to your business.

If you are good at writing, start a website or a Substack (or both). If you are good at sending a message through images, post on Facebook, Twitter, and Instagram. If you are good at video, start a YouTube or TikTok channel. If you are good with audio, create a podcast. Once you earn enough money, you can utilize all these different platforms. Until you can hire people and it is just you, focus on your two or three best platforms.

The best investment is in yourself. There is nothing wrong with leaving romantic relationships behind to focus on oneself. Romantic relationships can be an external distraction. One’s life should be in order before adding a spouse or children if that is what someone wants.

Society prepares people to be mediocre. You can be exceptional. But you must first decide to accept self-responsibility and invest in yourself.

Secure Single recommends:

Summary

There is nothing wrong with deciding to leave romantic relationships behind. It is best to work on oneself. The current state of the economy and financial security is an incentive to invest in oneself. Find ways to increase your income and reach your goals. You can continue to listen to society or invest in yourself.

Views expressed in this article are opinions of the author and do not necessarily reflect the views of Secure Single. James Bollen is the author of Thriving Solo: How to Flourish and Live Your Perfect Life (Without A Soulmate). Now available in paperback on Amazon. Subscribe to Secure Single’s Substack for free!

7 Types Of Self-Investment

There are many distractions you can focus on: romantic relationships, politics, and the news. Instead of focusing on external distractions, begin to invest in yourself. Self-investment is the best way to thrive.

7 Types Of Self-Investment

Self-investment means that you invest in yourself. There are many ways to do that:
• Self-education
• Personal finance
• Self-development
• Learn to cook
• Health
• Relationships
• Monetize your passion

Self-Education

Self-education plays a more critical role in one’s life than the education system. Self-study allows a person to learn more about what they find interesting. Self-education is one characteristic of self-made millionaires.

You can become a master of a topic or field through self-study. No fancy overpriced college degree is required.

Related – 12 Reasons Why Young People Should Not Go To College

Personal Finance

Personal finance plays a critical role in people’s daily lives. Master the basics of personal finance before working to move on to more advanced strategies to increase your income. The basics are:

  • Stay out of debt
  • Live below your means
  • Follow a budget
  • Spend less money than you make each month
  • Save money
  • Invest money
  • Build an emergency fund
  • Find ways to increase your income
  • Build passive income streams

Start with the basics. Once the basics are done, focus on more advanced personal fiancé strategies like building passive income streams and starting an online business.

Related – 50/30/20 Budget Versus 60/30/10 Budget

Self-development

Self-development is concerned with working on oneself. Ultimately, each person must decide what is most important to them. A range of skills fall under the category of personal development:

  • Hard skills
  • Soft skills
  • Interpersonal relationships
  • Intrapersonal relationship
  • Managing money
  • Time management
  • Develop a growth mindset
  • Resiliency
  • Mindfulness
  • Practice gratitude

Learn To Cook

Learn to cook. Cooking is a way to save money. It is cheaper to make a meal for oneself than go out to eat or buy pre-prepared food. Start to use the kitchen more. Find and make simple recipes. Freeze the leftovers.

Health

Health is critical. There are many reasons to pay attention to personal health. When your health is terrible, you may be unable to work or be productive. Some ways to focus on health are:

  • Regularly exercise
  • Go to the gym
  • Go for a daily walk
  • Get enough sleep
  • Get exposed to the sunlight for Vitamin D
  • Regularly see a doctor
  • Follow a healthy diet
  • Lose weight
  • Autophagy

Relationships

Relationships play a vital role in one’s life. The range of relationships include:

  • Acquaintances
  • Friends
  • Colleagues at work
  • Professional relationships (LinkedIn and professional networking)
  • Community
  • Family
  • Romantic relationships
  • Relationship with oneself

You must decide which relationship you want to focus on during each period of life. It will change as you mature and reach different life goals. There are times when it is best to develop oneself, while other times you may want to work to build a community around you where you live.

Find Ways To Monetize Your Passion

Jobs come and go, but you may never be out of work if you can find ways to monetize your passion. You will also enjoy work and want to do it each day. The Internet has made it easier to discover your interests. You no longer need to go to college, study, get a degree, and hope it works out. You can learn from people online by watching videos and purchasing digital courses.

You can then work to build your online presence. Build a business around a passion in a niche. People may eventually find you. You can then make money from:

  • Advertisements
  • Merch
  • Digital products
  • Physical products
  • Services
  • Subscriptions
  • Royalties

Secure Single recommends:

Summary

Self-investment is the best investment you can make. Focus on your health, learn to cook, master the basics of personal finance, cook for yourself, prioritize your health, develop relationships, and work to monetize your passion.

Views expressed in this article are opinions of the author and do not necessarily reflect the views of Secure Single. James Bollen is the author of Thriving Solo: How to Flourish and Live Your Perfect Life (Without A Soulmate). Now available in paperback on Amazon. Subscribe to Secure Single’s Substack for free!

Chipotle Raises Prices: 3 Simple Burrito Recipes For One

CNBC reports that Chipotle plans to raise prices again. You can learn to make your own burritos at home if you are a Chipotle burritos fan. As Chipotle raises prices, try these three simple burrito recipes for one!

Chipotle Raises Prices: 3 Simple Burrito Recipes For One

Chicken Burrito

  • ¼ pound cooked boneless chicken breast or thighs
  • ¼ medium yellow onion
  • ¼ medium red bell pepper
  • ½ of a garlic clove
  • ¼ of a medium lime
  • 1 sprig of fresh cilantro
  • ¼ can of pinto beans
  • ¼ cup warm cooked white rice
  • 1/8 teaspoon kosher salt
  • ¼ teaspoon vegetable oil
  • ¼ teaspoon taco seasoning (homemade or store-bought)
  • ¼ cup shredded cheese of choice or Mexican blend cheese
  • 1 large flour tortilla
  • 1 tablespoon sour cream
  • 1 tablespoon guacamole
  • 3 tablespoons jarred salsa

Instructions

  1. You can chop, shred, or dice the chicken breast or thigh. Measure one-quarter pound of chicken on a kitchen scale.
  2. Trim and cut a quarter of the onion and bell pepper. Mince the ½ clove of garlic. Finely grate the zest of ¼ of a medium lime. Juice a quarter of the lime. Chop the one sprig of fresh cilantro. Drain, rinse, and measure out a quarter can of pinto beans.
  3. Place the lime zest, cilantro, lime juice, ¼ cup of cooked warm rice, and 1/8 teaspoon kosher salt into a small bow. Stir and combine ingredients in the bow.
  4. Heat ¼ teaspoon vegetable oil in a large skillet on medium-high. Let the vegetable oil simmer. Add your onion and bell pepper. Sauté until the onion and bell pepper are golden brown and tender, about four to five minutes. Transfer the ingredients to a plate.
  5. Return the large skillet to the stovetop. Reduce the heat to medium-low. Add your beans, garlic, chicken; use any remaining lime juice, ¼ teaspoon taco seasoning, and 3 tablespoons of salsa. Simmer in pan until the liquid evaporates, and the ingredients are entirely heated through. One to two minutes. Now, remove the pan from the stovetop.
  6. Set one large flour tortilla on a microwave-safe plate. Cover with a slightly damp paper towel. Heat up in the microwave until warm, roughly thirty seconds.
  7. Now, dress your tortilla. Layer your ¼ cup of shredded or Mexican cheese, ¼ cup warm white rice, ¼ pound of chicken breast or thigh, place ¼ yellow onion and bell pepper, 1 tablespoon of sour cream and 1 tablespoon guacamole, and 1 tablespoon of salsa across the warm tortilla. Add more toppings as desired. Fold the burrito in half. It is now ready to serve!

Beef Burrito

  • ¼ pound cooked ground beef
  • ¼ medium yellow onion
  • ¼ medium red bell pepper
  • ½ of a garlic clove
  • ¼ of a medium lime
  • 1 sprig of fresh cilantro
  • ¼ can of pinto beans
  • ¼ cup warm cooked white rice
  • 1/8 teaspoon kosher salt
  • ¼ teaspoon vegetable oil
  • ¼ teaspoon taco seasoning (homemade or store-bought)
  • ¼ cup shredded cheese of choice or Mexican blend cheese
  • 1 large flour tortilla
  • 1 tablespoon sour cream
  • 1 tablespoon guacamole
  • 3 tablespoons jarred salsa

Instructions

  1. Measure out ¼ pound of ground beef.
  2. Trim and cut a quarter of the onion and bell pepper. Mince the ½ clove of garlic. Finely grate the zest of ¼ of a medium lime. Juice a quarter of the lime. Chop the one sprig of fresh cilantro. Drain, rinse, and measure out a quarter can of pinto beans.
  3. Place the lime zest, cilantro, lime juice, ¼ cup of cooked warm rice, and 1/8 teaspoon kosher salt into a small bow. Stir and combine ingredients in the bow.
  4. Heat ¼ teaspoon vegetable oil in a large skillet on medium-high. Let the vegetable oil simmer. Add your onion and bell pepper. Sauté until the onion and bell pepper are golden brown and tender, about four to five minutes. Transfer the ingredients to a plate.
  5. Return the large skillet to the stovetop. Reduce the heat to medium-low. Add your beans, garlic, ground beef; use any remaining lime juice, ¼ teaspoon taco seasoning, and 3 tablespoons of salsa. Simmer in pan until the liquid evaporates, and the ingredients are entirely heated through. One to two minutes. Now, remove the pan from the stovetop.
  6. Set one large flour tortilla on a microwave-safe plate. Cover with a slightly damp paper towel. Heat up in the microwave until warm, roughly thirty seconds.
  7. Now, dress your tortilla. Layer your ¼ cup of shredded or Mexican cheese, ¼ cup warm white rice, ¼ pound of ground beef, place ¼ yellow onion and bell pepper, 1 tablespoon of sour cream and 1 tablespoon guacamole, and 1 tablespoon of salsa across the warm. Add more toppings as desired. Fold the burrito in half. It is now ready to serve!

Pork Burrito

  • ¼ pound pork chops or pork shoulder (carnitas)
  • ¼ medium yellow onion
  • ¼ medium red bell pepper
  • ½ of a garlic clove
  • ¼ of a medium lime
  • 1 sprig of fresh cilantro
  • ¼ can of pinto beans
  • ¼ cup warm cooked white rice
  • 1/8 teaspoon kosher salt
  • ¼ teaspoon vegetable oil
  • ¼ teaspoon taco seasoning (homemade or store-bought)
  • ¼ cup shredded cheese of choice or Mexican blend cheese
  • 1 large flour tortilla
  • 1 tablespoon sour cream
  • 1 tablespoon guacamole
  • 3 tablespoons jarred salsa

Instructions

  1. Measure out ¼ pound of pork chop or carnitas.
  2. Trim and cut a quarter of the onion and bell pepper. Mince the ½ clove of garlic. Finely grate the zest of ¼ of a medium lime. Juice a quarter of the lime. Chop the one sprig of fresh cilantro. Drain, rinse, and measure out a quarter can of pinto beans.
  3. Place the lime zest, cilantro, lime juice, ¼ cup of cooked warm rice, and 1/8 teaspoon kosher salt into a small bow. Stir and combine ingredients in the bow.
  4. Heat ¼ teaspoon vegetable oil in a large skillet on medium-high. Let the vegetable oil simmer. Add your onion and bell pepper. Sauté until the onion and bell pepper are golden brown and tender, about four to five minutes. Transfer the ingredients to a plate.
  5. Return the large skillet to the stovetop. Reduce the heat to medium-low. Add your beans, garlic, pork chop or pork shoulder; use any remaining lime juice, ¼ teaspoon of taco seasoning, and 3 tablespoons of salsa. Simmer in a pan until the liquid evaporates, and the ingredients are entirely heated through—about ten to twenty minutes for the porkchop and pork shoulder. Check with a meat thermometer to make sure the meat is fully cooked. Now, remove the pan from the stovetop.
  6. Set one large flour tortilla on a microwave-safe plate. Cover with a slightly damp paper towel. Heat up in the microwave until warm, roughly thirty seconds.
  7. Now, dress your tortilla. Layer your ¼ cup of shredded or Mexican cheese, ¼ cup warm white rice, ¼ pound of pork chop or pork shoulder, place ¼ yellow onion and bell pepper, 1 tablespoon of sour cream and 1 tablespoon guacamole, and 1 tablespoon of salsa across the warm. Add more toppings as desired. Fold the burrito in half. It is now ready to serve!

Secure Single recommends:

Conclusion

Prices continue to rise due to inflation. Cooking at home is one of the best ways to save money rather than spending money going out. You can enjoy these simple burrito recipes for one and skip spending money at Chipotle. You could instead save that money or find a way to make the money you would have spent going out to work to find ways to increase your income.

Views expressed in this article are opinions of the author and do not necessarily reflect the views of Secure Single. James Bollen is the author of Thriving Solo: How to Flourish and Live Your Perfect Life (Without A Soulmate). Now available in paperback on Amazon. Subscribe to Secure Single’s Substack for free!

What Is Childfree?

You may be wondering, do I have to have kids? Do I need to have children? What is childfree? Here is a look at what it means to be childfree.

What Is Childfree? 

Childfree means that you have no kids. You can be single and childfree. A couple could also be married and childfree.

Why Would Someone Choose To Be Childfree? 

It could be a lifestyle choice that singles or even couples choose. There are some single who may have no interest in dating or marriage. Those single may be single by choice or celibate.

A couple may agree that they do not want to have children. Or, a woman may be infertile and unable to have children.

Childfree As A Lifestyle Choice 

Being childfree is a lifestyle choice. Here are five reasons why someone, or a couple, may decide to be childfree.

Environmental 

There are environmental reasons why someone may decide to be childfree. They may be worried about bringing a new child into the world due to concerns about climate change. They may not want to have a child who will contribute to waste, which will negatively affect the planet. The Environmental Protection Agency found:

  • Food waste was estimated at 63.1 million tons in 2018.
  • Plastic products were estimated at 35.7 million tons in 2018.
  • Municipal waste was estimated at 292.4 million tons.

If someone cares deeply about nature and wants to care for Mother Earth, they may decide to be childfree.

Costs Associated With Raising Children

The cost of living, education, transportation, food, and other expenses continue to become more expensive. Most Americans already live paycheck to paycheck. It is no secret that raising children is expensive.

Due to the financial costs of having children, someone may choose to be childfree to save or invest money so that they can live.

Noise Pollution

Children can be loud. Someone may decide to be childfree so they do not have to put up with the noise pollution from children.

May Not Want To Raise Children

Someone may have no interest in wanting to raise children. They may not view themselves as good with kids or the parenting type. A couple may decide to live together or be married but never want to have children.

May Be Infertile

A woman may be infertile. Or, a woman may be past childbearing age. Even if she wanted to have children, she may no longer be able to have children.

Individual Or A Couple’s Choice

It is ultimately up to everyone to make their own choices. Each person then is responsible for their decisions. A single or a couple may have their reasons for choosing to be childfree. People have the freedom to decide how they want to live their lives.

Secure Single recommends:

Conclusion

These are only some reasons why people may choose to be childfree. It is up to each person to determine if they want to have children. Some single men and women may have no interest in having children or even getting married. Someone, or a couple, may do it for financial or personal reasons. Childfree, in essence, means simply just not having children.

Views expressed in this article are opinions of the author and do not necessarily reflect the views of Secure Single. James Bollen is the author of Thriving Solo: How to Flourish and Live Your Perfect Life (Without A Soulmate). Now available in paperback on Amazon. Subscribe to Secure Single’s Substack for free!

12 Ways Popular Culture Idealizes Marriage

Are you curious about how society idolizes marriage? No matter why you may be single, you can thrive as a single person. You can make the most of being single. Here are twelve ways popular culture idealizes marriage.

12 Ways Popular Culture Idealizes Marriage

The One

Popular culture spreads the myth that every person has a soulmate. A soulmate is someone you are meant to be with, no matter what. This myth is perpetuated through fairy tales, Disney movies, and the dating industrial complex. Soulmates do not exist.

There is no “one” person for you. You are the only person you need.

True Love

Popular culture also pushes the concept of true love. This follows from the soulmate myth. The idea of true love is that you can only love one person. The reality is that you may be compatible with multiple people. You can think of The Prince Bride, among other cultural concepts, of pushing true love.

 Prince Charming

There is then the myth of Prince Charming. Prince Charming rescues the princess or damsel in distress from the monster that has captured her. She will then marry her Prince Charming.

The whole concept of Prince Charming is ludicrous. Every man has his flaws. There is no perfect person, yet society wants you to believe that there is someone who will come to rescue you.

There is no one coming to save you. Be it Prince Charming or someone else. You are responsible for rescuing yourself from your current situation.

Damsel In Distress

The damsel in distress is a woman who often has been taken by a villain. She is distressed because she is living in a tower or imprisoned. She is a captive to the villain or monster that has captured her.

The damsel in distress must wait for Prince Charming to rescue her. The problem with this is that it makes women weak. It makes women think there is a Prince Charming. It also makes people think they must wait for someone to rescue them rather than take action to free themselves from their situation.

No matter your circumstances, you can practice self-responsibility and work to improve your situation.

Princess

The princess is another familiar archetype in Disney movies and fairy tales. She often wishes for her Prince Charming to rescue her from her singleness. She does not want to be a princess. She wants to be a queen sitting beside her queen.

The problem is to be a queen, she must marry. You can live an extraordinary life without getting married.

Wedding Dress

The wedding dress has long been associated with purity—a virgin bride. As a result of the hookup culture, hookup apps, and the normalization of hooking up, this is no longer the case. Someone you may marry may not be pure, let alone a virgin. Yet a bride can wear the dress on the day of the wedding.

It does not matter why you decide to marry someone, but the traditional concept of what the wedding dress symbolizes continues to become more archaic. That is a consequence of what popular culture has deemed acceptable behavior. It does not matter who is wearing the dress as long as you love the person, yet the wedding dress has long been a vital symbol to showcase a woman’s purity to her husband on her wedding night.

Find A Beautiful Bride

Prince Charming is told that he must find a beautiful bride. This results in two main problems. Men start to succumb to unrealistic beauty standards. Men want every woman to be a supermodel or at least a seven to a ten.

For women, they must do everything that they can to present themselves unrealistically to men. This requires women to buy makeup, get boob jobs, and other things which they believe will make them more beautiful.

Society’s emphasis on beauty is problematic. While caring about one’s appearance is worthwhile, it can be taken overboard. You no longer are doing it for yourself. You are doing it to please other people, Big Beauty and Big Wedding, to get a date or to get married.

It is best to be true to yourself. You could save and invest that money rather than spend it on beauty and other temporary products.

Proposal

Engagements and proposals are another major event. People are told to celebrate when someone is proposed to. It does not matter if it is a friend or a celebrity.

They were proposed to, so you must be happy. You must celebrate them by liking their proposal and engagement posts on social media.

Wedding

Weddings are celebrated as one-in-a-lifetime events. Never mind that divorces are becoming more common. Yet you are told to celebrate the bride and the groom’s wedding.

You are encouraged to plan your schedule around two people you may never see again after their wedding day. They may not be together a couple to a few years after attending their wedding. Weddings have become expensive, overrated, and not worth the time and money to attend.

Marriage

Marriage continues to decline in popularity. What is the point of committing yourself to another person when you could enjoy life alone? What about the risks that come with divorce?

Modern society has made it so that it is best not to marry. This is fine because you can live an extraordinary life as a single person.

White Picket Fence

Once you are married, you are told to build a white picket fence around your house. You then are advised to have two-and-a-half children. It does not matter if you can afford your house or the children.

You must reproduce. Your needs do not matter. You must care more about reproducing than caring for your own needs.

Happily Ever After

Happily ever after is another myth that society pushes onto singles. It follows from the belief in finding your soulmate, marriage, and the white picket fence. You are told to find the right person, purchase the right house, then have children. You will then be happy.

You do not need to marry to be happy. You can be happily single. You can enjoy a single life. You can live your best life without marriage, yet popular culture tells you that is impossible.

Secure Single recommends:

Summary

Popular culture pushes many myths upon singles, from soulmates to marriage being the only way to happiness. The reality is that you can invest in yourself to reach your full potential. It is best to invest in yourself rather than focus on others. Whether you want to date or marry eventually, focus on yourself and work to reach your goals instead of placing dating and marriage on a pedestal.

Views expressed in this article are opinions of the author and do not necessarily reflect the views of Secure Single. James Bollen is the author of Thriving Solo: How to Flourish and Live Your Perfect Life (Without A Soulmate). Now available in paperback on Amazon. Subscribe to Secure Single’s Substack for free!

5 Strategies To End A Friendship

Are you wondering if you should end a friendship? Are you worried about having a conversation with your friend? Are you unsure of how to end a friendship? Here are five strategies to end a friendship.

Why Do People End Friendships?

People may end friendships for many reasons. People may not see a friend frequently enough, so they lose touch. You may experience a falling out.

You may no longer be interested in the same types of things as you want. You may have matured while your friend has not. There may be disagreements that the two of you could never work out that continue to arise in the friendship.

No matter the stories or experiences that you may have, you can decide which of these five strategies to end a friendship works best for you.

5 Strategies To End A Friendship

Social Media

You can talk to your friend over the social media on which your friend is most active. Social media is the most impersonal of the five. You want to describe to them why you want to end the friendship.

After you get them to understand your position on ending the friendship, you will want to block them across all your social media.

Text message

You can send your friend a text message. If your friend texts often, this may be the best way to contact them.

You can make your point. Answer any questions. You can then block your friends from social media and phone contacts.

Phone call

You can call your friend over the phone. You can know what you plan to talk to them over the phone.

You can prepare a script for the call that you can use. Telemarketers use scripts. You can apply this strategy to end a friendship.

Video Call

You can have a video call over Skype, Zoom, or on your phone or social media that allows for video calls.

A video call is a compromise between communicating via messaging and in person.

In-Person

You can have the conversation in person. An in-person conversation is the most direct way to end a friendship. You will have less control than being on a phone or social media. The exchange happens in real time.

The main benefit of ending a friendship in person is that you can read your friend’s nonverbal body language. Nonverbal communication plays a critical role in human communication. Understanding what your friend is saying non-verbally can help you better understand what they may think about you wanting to end the friendship.

Solutions

You want to utilize the medium that your friend is most active on. You want to have your reasons ready for why you want to end the friendship. You want to prepare for any pushback. You do not want to be afraid to stand up for yourself. If you have concluded that it is best to end a friendship, then unapologetically do it.

I have lost touch with my college friends. I blocked two of my former closest friends across my social media and on my phone. They were negatively influencing me. One would only talk about drinking and entertainment.

My other former friend was manipulative and used me to advance himself. He did that while saying that he was helping me.

Please be sure to be clear on your why. Stand up for yourself. Tell your former friend “No”. Walk away and start to live your best life.

Secure Single recommends:

Conclusion

You will experience that friendships naturally end over time. You want to determine the reason why you have decided to want to end a friendship. It is up to you to determine how much you tell your friend. You could block them today across your social media and devices or choose to get together at a location of your choosing to end the friendship.

You will feel better about yourself once you end a friendship that does not benefit you. I know ending those two friendships immensely helped me. You can take the next step by choosing one of these five strategies to end a friendship today.

Views expressed in this article are opinions of the author and do not necessarily reflect the views of Secure Single. James Bollen is the author of Thriving Solo: How to Flourish and Live Your Perfect Life (Without A Soulmate). Now available in paperback on Amazon. Subscribe to Secure Single’s Substack for free!

Singles Do Not Need An Artificially Intelligent Boyfriend Or Girlfriend

Relationships continue to get more complicated and weirder. Instead of dealing with someone ghosting you on Tinder or another dating app, you can have an artificial intelligence significant other. Here are five reasons singles do not need an artificially intelligent boyfriend or girlfriend.

What Is Artificial Intelligence?

IBM summarizes that “At its simplest form, artificial intelligence [AI] is a field, which combines computer science and robust datasets, to enable problem-solving. It also encompasses sub-fields of machine learning and deep learning,” IBM then breaks artificial intelligence further down into three main categories:
• Weak AI pr Artificial Narrow Intelligence (AGI)
• Artificial General Intelligence (AGI)
• Artificial Super Intelligence (ASI)

Most of the talk around AI refers to the number two, general artificial intelligence. ChatGPT has grown this discussion. As AI evolves, the question is how it will influence human relationships.

What Types Of Artificial Intelligence Partners Are Available?

If you search online, you can find AI sex dolls, even AI boyfriends and girlfriends. This is the next step in moving away from human relationships. Social media has eroded and commoditized “friendships.” Intimate relationships are moving from personal sexual experiences to buying an AI sex doll, interacting with cam models, or an artificially intelligent significant other on your computer or device.

How Could Sexbots Help Singles Realize Sexual Fantasies?

The Next Web summarizes that sexbots allow for the following:

  • First dates
  • Safe sex
  • Happy endings

The reason is that you can create your own experience with your sexbot. The Next Web breaks down Bloom further, which is an erotic audio platform. The erotic audio stories are designed to work with sex tech toys. You can create your sexual journey and story with your sexbot without worrying about sexual diseases that could come with an actual sexual partner. Instead, you could choose to opt for artificial intimacy.

5 Reasons Singles Do Not Need An Artificially Intelligent Boyfriend Or Girlfriend

It Is A Digital Relationship

You will likely be paying to enjoy the façade of a digital relationship compared to a real relationship. It is now different from “friends” on social media, but this AI says it is your boyfriend or girlfriend. Companies have created a set of 1s and 0s to make singles think they must date… even if it is with AI.

Spend More Time Online

Because of the significant other label, you may want to spend more time with your AI boyfriend or girlfriend. This is problematic. You are wasting valuable time that you could spend improving yourself on your computer, app, or other device to interact with artificial intelligence. You can likely cancel your subscription or account, i.e., AI relationship, anytime. Ending an actual relationship is more complicated.

Friends With Benefits

AI is digital. Unless you have dropped a few grand for an artificially intelligent sex doll, even then, it is still just a sophisticated doll and piece of technology. It may be able to warm up to make it “feel real.” But it will still feel very different from an actual sexual experience.

Waste Of Time

Rather than spending time with a natural person, as a friend or sexually, you are deciding to spend it with a form of computer science (see AI definition above.). If you want sex, you could go to a bar to hookup, use a hookup app, or pay virtual satisfaction from an e-boy or e-girl on every growing range of camming sites.

Free And Premium Camming Sites

You could use free and premium camming sites rather than interacting with an AI boyfriend or girlfriend. You could interact with a cam mode for free on some camming sites like Chaturbate, while others provided a more premium experience like Live Jasmin. It ultimately depends on your budget, sexual desires, and how much you will spend for your moments of pleasure.

It Is Up To Each Single

It is ultimately up to everyone to decide how they want to utilize technology. That applies to camming technology to access e-boys and e-girls to design your AI boyfriend or girlfriend. People are single for a variety of reasons. Each person is on their journey and wants something else regarding a relationship, be it a temporary emotional connection to marriage.

Time And Money

It is ultimately up to you to determine whether an artificial boyfriend or girlfriend is worth your time and money. The same principles apply to spending valuable time and money on camming sites like Only Fans, Chaturbate, and Live Jasmin.

You could save and invest your money rather than spend it on a few minutes of pleasure tipping a cam model or getting to know your AI significant other. You could save money to grow your emergency fund, put it in a money market account, or invest it in the stock market. You could even decide to start your own online business.

By saving and investing your money, you could decide to think long-term rather than on a temporary pleasure. The ability to think long-term is a vital role to success.

It is ultimately up to you whether or not you want to surrender your short-term carnal desires to an artificial significant other or cam model or invest in your future. The best investment is in yourself.

Your time and money are vital assets. Learn to use them wisely to better yourself.

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Conclusion

It is up to you whether or not you want to invest your time and money into an artificially intelligent partner. If you find some value in it, that is all right. The same applies to someone who views it as wasting time and money.

The best investment is in yourself, not following the latest technology trends. Focus on yourself, and you will discover that you can begin to reach your goals. Romantic and sexual relationships can distract you from achieving your full potential. You can say “no” to romantic and sexual relationships to better yourself.

Views expressed in this article are opinions of the author and do not necessarily reflect the views of Secure Single. James Bollen is the author of Thriving Solo: How to Flourish and Live Your Perfect Life (Without A Soulmate). Now available in paperback on Amazon. Subscribe to Secure Single’s Substack for free!

On The Loss Of Trust In Friendship

Friendships fade over time. Loss of trust in friendship can play a critical role in a relationship ending.

On The Loss Of Trust In Friendship

Trust Is The Foundation Of Any Relationship

Merriam-Webster Dictionary defines trust as an “assured reliance on the character, ability, strength or truth or someone or something.”

Trust is the foundation of any relationship. It is earned. Trust can be easily lost and never recovered.

It does not matter if it is with a friend, family member, or an acquaintance. You have nothing without trust.

Trust is earned by institutions, too. People continue to lose faith in institutions. People and institutions can become toxic.

Signs Of A Toxic Friend

When you are not confident that your friend can help you or wants to spend time with you, there is no reason to stay friends. If a friend shows signs that you are in a toxic relationship. Consider ending your friendship with that person. Some telltale signs of a toxic friendship include:

  • You lose self-esteem and self-confidence.
  • You feel your friend attacks, demeans, and does not support you.
  • You struggle to be yourself around the toxic person.
  • You discover that you both bring out the worst in each other.
  • The toxic person blames you and never takes responsibility for their actions or choices.

Breach Of Trust

Another issue that may arise with a friend that can lead to losing trust in a friendship is when your friend breaches your trust. They may gossip about you. They may have told a secret to someone. They may have done something you consider unforgivable.

Since trust is so critical to any relationship, and they breached it, it is up to you to decide to end the friendship. You have a few options for ending a friendship:

  • You can block them across all your social media.
  • You can cut them entirely out of your life.
  • You can talk to them to discuss why you want to end the friendship in person or over a phone or Zoom call.

Cut That Friend Out From Your Life

If you identify one or more signs that someone in your life is toxic, cut them out of your life! It does not matter the reasons why you are friends. By being toxic, your friend has made you lose trust in the friendship. Ending a toxic friendship can help you to feel better about yourself.

Natural To Lose Friends As You Mature

There is nothing wrong with losing friendships as you become older. Your interests and skills naturally change. You may be connected and “friends” with people from college, but you never actually talk to them. If you move to another state or country for a new job, you will find new friends to develop a community.

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Conclusion

Contrary to popular thought, there is nothing wrong with ending friendships. That is especially true when you have lost trust in a friend. Make the wise choice. End the friendship. It will save you pain rather than working to keep the friendship going.

 

James Bollen is the author of Thriving Solo: How to Flourish and Live Your Perfect Life (Without A Soulmate). Now available in paperback on Amazon. Subscribe to Secure Single’s Substack for free.

Surprising Reasons I Have Always Been Single And Never Dated

There is pressure for single people to date and marry. Despite that pressure, here are seven surprising reasons I have always been single and never dated.

Surprising Reasons I Have Always Been Single And Never Dated

Time

Romantic relationships require time. I have never been into the pickup culture or one-night stands.

You need to plan time for dates. You must make an effort to spend time with a significant other. You have to deal with a romantic relationship’s emotional and other issues.

I have always focused on things like growing this website and my career. Those are perfectly fine reasons to remain single in the modern age. It does not make sense to consider dating, let alone getting married, if you cannot support another person, let alone a family.
Education

I made the mistake of believing the myth that college was required to have a career. College was all right. My undergraduate degree in Political Science did not help me at all jobwise. I had the same experience with graduate school.

My biggest mistake was deciding to go to graduate school. I later discovered I had one class left to graduate with my Master’s in Information and Cybersecurity. But, after going through a few interviews, I later found out that no employers wanted to hire me because I did not come from the proper work background.

That is just one example that attending college and getting a fancy degree in something will not help you to be successful career-wise. You must be able to pass interviews, have good social skills, and be able to bullshit employers. All of which I have never been good at.
College and graduate school did not help me build a career. The best thing I ever did for my career was start this website and focus on self-education.
Self-education is better than any overpriced fancy college degree.

Related – 12 Reasons Why Young People Should Not Go To College

Career

I have always been ambitious and entrepreneurial. I initially believed I must attend college to get a good job. That is the old way of becoming successful. The new way to become successful is to create and sell content.

I was unaware of this when I started this website in December 2015. I am now working to write a series of books and improve this website. All of which is backend work that no one sees.

I would have never been a good fit for a regular job. I do not get along with most people. I do not like group settings. I am better off working with myself and managing freelancers when I need to delegate work.

Related – 9 Reasons Why You Want To Hire Freelancers With An Online Business

Open To Opportunities

I have been open to new opportunities. An opportunity may have been learning a new skill, traveling, or trying something new. I have no problems with taking calculated risks. Opportunities and taking risks are two of the best ways to learn. You learn by taking action, not by reading from a college textbook.

Lack Of Social Skills

I have always been more introverted. I do not have great social skills. I would probably be in the bottom fifty percent when it comes to soft skills. This is one reason I have always had difficulty moving up in a traditional career. Employers place too much emphasis on social skills.
Social skills often play a vital role when it comes to relationships. If you come across as socially awkward or uninterested, even if you are, it will be interpreted that way. For this reason, I have always tried to improve my skills, even though I know I will never be among the top percentile of verbal and non-verbal communicators. Those skills also play a vital role in business relationships.

Related –Life As A Single Woman Uber Driver [The Give Economy Experience]

Speech Issues

I have always had speech issues and a lack of social skills. I have had speech therapy since kindergarten. I have largely improved since then, but compared to the top ten to thirty percent of people, I am not very persuasive and cannot verbally get my point across to someone. This has primarily affected my role in the types of traditional jobs I have been able to get.

I have mostly worked randon gig jobs, sales jobs, and other entry-level positions, despite my “higher level education.” Social skills and speech are critical in ascending in regular companies, which I have never had. Today, it is all about your connections, who you know, and being able to talk your way through an interview to get a good-paying job. Employers seem today to care more about how good of a bullshitter you are compared to if you are proficient.

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Conclusion

This is not to say that I may never date or marry, but I have other priorities and things to work on first. The Internet has created ways to make money outside of the regular nine-to-five working for an employer. My website has allowed me to learn how to make money online. I would never have been a great fit for a medium to large business. It ended up working out for me.

No matter your situation. Know that you have options. The riskier option is usually better, but society will discourage you from taking it. Society wants you to be mediocre. Choose to be exceptional.

James Bollen is the author of Thriving Solo: How to Flourish and Live Your Perfect Life (Without A Soulmate). Now available in paperback on Amazon. Subscribe to Secure Single’s Substack for free!

List Of Activities For Singles During The Month Of October

Are you looking for some ideas of what to do for October? Here is a list of activities for singles to do during the month of October.

List Of Activities For Singles During The Month Of October

Horror movies

It is the month of October. Horror movies are coming back to the theaters. You can go and watch a horror movie alone or with friends. You could also watch some of the classic horror movies at home. You could invite friends to watch classic horror movies or have a horror marathon.

I have always enjoyed horror movies. My favorite modern horror movie series is the Saw series. I will probably watch Saw X since it has received good reviews once it is available online. I am not a fan of movie theaters. The original Saw movie is now a horror movie classic.

Pumpkin Patch

You can go to a pumpkin patch. You could go alone or with friends. You can find a pumpkin at the pumpkin patch. You can then take it home for charge to put out for Halloween.

Hayride

You can go on a hayride. Many of the same places that have a pumpkin patch will often have a hayride.

Carve A Pumpkin

You can carve a pumpkin. You can then put it outside of your apartment or house.

Pumpkin Carving Contest

You could host a pumpkin carving contest. Invite your friends over. Have a prize for the best carved pumpkin.

Haunted Corn maze

You can go to a haunted corn maze. You can find a corn maze near you. There will often be a regular and a haunted corn maze. You could go alone or with your friends.

Haunted House

You can go to a haunted house. You can research to see if there is a haunted house where you live. If you live in a major metropolitan area, there may be a variety of haunted houses. There can be haunted houses that have different scare levels. You can then go to the haunted house, the horror you can handle.

Halloween Party

You can host or go to a Halloween party. You can host your own Halloween party by inviting your friends over. You can choose a horror movie theme. Or, you could have a customer contest for the best Halloween outfit. If you do not want to host a Halloween party, one of your friends may. You can then attend their party.

Halloween Drinks And Cocktails

You could make Halloween drinks and cocktails. These are spookily-themed drinks that you can enjoy during October. You could host your friends for a Halloween cocktail party or embrace your inner mixologist. Halloween cocktails include:

  • Red Devil.
  • Monster Slush.
  • Jason Takes Manhattan.
  • Black Cat.
  • Children Of The Corn.
  • Glowing Green.
  • Witch’s Brew Cocktail.
  • Pumpkinhead.
  • Vampire’s Kiss.
  • Candy Corn Martini.

Halloween Parties Downtown

You can look for Halloween parties in your town or city. These will most often take place downtown. Your friends may also be hosting their own Halloween parties.

Bars often host Halloween parties. If you cannot host or attend a friend’s party, you may be able to find an event downtown. Some Halloween parties may be adult-only. Be sure to do your research before buying a ticket for a Halloween party in your city.

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Conclusion

These are some of the activities for singles to do during the month of October. You can do these events solo or with friends. You may have your own Halloween or October traditions. If so, let us know what they are in the comments below!

James Bollen is the author of Thriving Solo: How to Flourish and Live Your Perfect Life (Without A Soulmate). Now available in paperback on Amazon. Subscribe to Secure Single’s Substack for free!
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