There are many people who are single who may want to date, but they do not date people who want to have kids. Many millennials are already faced with student loan debt and are working to pay it off while getting their careers on track. It’s distracting thinking about dating, and even about starting a family. We all want what we want, but we must first be willing to work hard for it. Some people were lucky to be born with a silver spoon in their hand, or to have had their college paid for by their parents. When you have both emotions and have student loans to pay of, you have got to work hard and can’t; deal with any distractions. Every minute matters. Here’s the breakdown in three steps:
Student Loans
They really suck. Trade schools are smart to get into because you can instantly go to work with real skills that are marketable to the world. When You get a general degree, making yourself marketable is tougher. Picking up a side hustle, getting into sales, and starting your own company are great ways to begin to pay off your student loans. You want to work to pay off all your loans and get into a financial position where you can breathe.College is expensive, and not really worth it. Ugh!
Career Focused
Yes, it’s true that millennials are the largest age demographic to be single, unwed, and childless, but it is also true that due to the student loan debt we have we are geared towards making a living and paying it all off. It’s time to be responsible. It’s time to get focused in our careers. Kids and marriage can come later in life, but in your 20’s you have so much energy to make things happen. What you do NOW will affect the rest of your future. You Have to be so careful how you spend your time, and you have to work towards generating GOOD cash flow to set up your future to be bright.
Be Free From Kids
Why bring children into the world when the divorce rate is at 50% and growing, and we live in a world where people are afraid of commitment. Relationships are messy. We need to set things up to counterbalance these events from happening. Use birth control and don’t get emotionally involved. People don’t commit, so why have children with them, especially out of wedlock? Be smart, and be safe.
In order to love better and have a more liberated life, you have got to work hard for what you want. It may require more hours but hey it’s your life and you need to find a way to make it worth something. Get out of debt, focus on your career, and don’t mess around with non-committal people because relationships are messy as it is. When You focus on you, and are bettering your life, you are truly living and being in alignment with your true self and making every second count. There is not a minute to lose, so focus on your goals, write them down, take steps towards them every day, and make what you do count. You can do it, and you are worth it to make your dreams and goals happen! Go get it!
Cheers,
Danielle
Views expressed in this article are the author’s opinions and do not necessarily reflect the views of Secure Single. It is intended for informational and educational purposes only. It is not investment or financial advice. James Bollen is the author of Thriving Solo: How to Flourish and Live Your Perfect Life (Without A Soulmate). Now available in paperback and for the Kindle on Amazon. Subscribe to Secure Single’s Substack for free!
There are many reasons why millennial women marry later in life. It could be due to the fact that women now, more than ever, have more opportunity in the workforce to create their fortunes. It may also be true that alongside the ambitious women are those with student loan debt. It could be possible that one of the reasons that women work so hard is that they want to make something significant of themselves and they want to be financially free. These are some of the reasons that influence single women remaining single longer and delaying marriage, which is the new trend.
With opportunity knocking at the door and financial freedom around the corner, women have began to blaze down the career path with relentless passion. Student loan debt is on the rise, and so is the cost of living. Women’s rights are also more liberated than ever, thanks to progressive women in history. Women who now have the opportunity to work more in higher and more advanced positions, and make a really good amount of cash flow to lessen and eliminate the burden of student loans.
With our minds preoccupied, marriage and family are far from our minds. It is true that some women want a family and aspire to be good mothers, but it is also true that that is not the only option available for women. Go after what you want. Start that business, work three or more jobs to pay off your debt, learn new skills that make you marketable in the marketplace.
Marriage used to be a union of economic security for women in previous generations, but now that is not the case because Marriage Rates Are Plummeting:
“The median age at first marriage is now 27 for women and 29 for men — up from 20 for women and 23 for men in 1960… Today an unprecedented portion of millennials will remain unmarried through age 40, a recent Urban Institute report predicted. The marriage rate might drop to 70 percent — a figure well below rates for boomers (91 percent),”
What’s more is that having student loan debt does in fact delay marriage. Here are the stats about student loans:
General Student Loan Debt Statistics
- Total Amount of Student Loan Borrowers: 44 million +
- Total Outstanding Student Loan Debt: $1.41 trillion +
- Average Federal Student Loan Default Rate: 11.8%
- Average Number of College Grads with Student loan Debt: 60%
- Average Debt Per Borrower: $27,975
- Average Debt Per Graduate: $16,723
- Average Debt Per Graduate Student: $57,600
- Average Debt Per Borrower at a Public School: $26,828
- Average Debt Per Borrower at a Private School: $30,281
- Department of Education’s Estimated Profit Over Next 10 Years: $127 billion
With student loans as a burden, and an economic climate of opportunity, it’s no wonder that women are taking advantage of having a career oriented life. To pay off your student loan debt and have a career you once could have only dreamed of, you can literally life the life you desire. Career oriented women are smart because they choose to make the most of their time developing into the best version of themselves.
Views expressed in this article are the author’s opinions and do not necessarily reflect the views of Secure Single. It is intended for informational and educational purposes only. It is not investment or financial advice. James Bollen is the author of Thriving Solo: How to Flourish and Live Your Perfect Life (Without A Soulmate). Now available in paperback and for the Kindle on Amazon. Subscribe to Secure Single’s Substack for free!
When you have rose colored sun shades on, it’s easy to fall for someone who is tall, dark, and handsome Looking at the bigger picture is difficult when you feel you’ve met the one. Sadly, when you’re caught up on how attractive and perfect another person is, you can miss a lot of those big red flags that can literally derail you from a trailblazing career. Your 20’s matter, each and every second, and a quick decision to date someone who is a complete dream boat could mean the loss of time and productivity. Personally, you should probably wait until your 30’s to date someone seriously because you may not know what you are looking for in a mate and people are generally fully matured by their 30’s. Besides, by the time you reach your 30’s, you’ve gotten most of your wild partying out, right? Here are 5 of the top reasons to stay single in your 20’s.
Avoiding Laziness
There is nothing more unattractive in dating someone who doesn’t seem to have the motivation and zest for life that you do. According to Men’s Fitness, 72% of women and 60% of men can’t stand a lazy partner. When you are working hard to learn more in order to earn more, dating a lazy and unmotivated person will seriously bring you down. Like the old adage goes, you are the summarization of the people you surround yourself with. As a word to the wise, you will need to be careful who you date, and if at all, go solo. No one really knows what they want in their 20s – we live to be at least 100 years old, so why make the mistake of dating someone long term and have to deal with them the rest of your life? Focus on making a living and establishing yourself first. Your 20s decade is a very critical time period in your life.
Dating Multiple Partners
Psychology Today deems one of the deal breakers in relationships or rather budding relationships, is when their partner is dating multiple people. Romance can be confusing enough, so when you dip your toes into the dating pool, it can be very overwhelming.
If you are dating, you may be on the fence with your partner on how serious or not you actually are in the relationship. There is a likely percentage of either point of seriousness occurring. The odds of you finding the ‘right one’, meaning mentally and physically compatible, is very slim simply because each person is so unique. When you date multiple people, drama can arise, especially when the one you like is dating multiple partners as well. The solution is threefold: hang in there, stay single, and be completely transparent. The 100% safety zone is staying single. It will alleviate potential stress, though there is no risk of finding ‘the one.’
Your Fitness
When you are dating, your partner may be more or less fit than you. If you take your health seriously, then you don’t mess around when it comes to morning schedules, gym workouts, and routine runs. It can be difficult or hindering when your partner doesn’t promote you. When you find someone who loves to work out as much as you do, then great! A team can accomplish much more than a person driving solo. Going back to how you become the people you surround yourself with, your health will be affected. Surround yourself with people who will build you up. Drop your partner if they’re not willing to take the steps to take care of themselves. Dating someone who does work out makes you healthier. Build up friendships with the people you go to the gym with, and go get buff!
All the decisions you make in your 20’s will seriously affect the rest of your life, more so than decisions in your 30’s, 40’s, and so on. Even if you’re single, live your life with a zest. Enjoy life, and love all that there is to offer. Surround yourself with smart and kind people. Invest in your education, invest in perfecting your craft at work, and save all the money you can for investing. You can make it through your 20’s alive and successful. Take the steps today!
Views expressed in this article are the author’s opinions and do not necessarily reflect the views of Secure Single. It is intended for informational and educational purposes only. It is not investment or financial advice. James Bollen is the author of Thriving Solo: How to Flourish and Live Your Perfect Life (Without A Soulmate). Now available in paperback and for the Kindle on Amazon. Subscribe to Secure Single’s Substack for free!
You’re a single 20 something, and you feel like you’re doing great. You’ve got a good job that is up and coming, you have a cat and dog, and you’ve managed to keep your houseplants alive. On top of that, you pay your bills on time, and always have a moment for happy hour with friends on the weekends. Your adulting grade is now an A+, but as you look over to your left and over to your right, you see something: your best friend is getting married, and your sister is now five months pregnant. Hmmm doesn’t it feel funny that your peers are developing families? Are you getting the subtle hints from your family and friends that you need more than just your Netflix subscription to keep you warm at night?
Don’t fret – we have all been there, and there is nothing to worry about.
You should wait until you are older to get married.The reasons range from being more sexually comfortable about yourself and what you want, from being financially stable and more in line with your career. We all know how much a bad relationship can fuck up your concentration at work, so wait and date until you know exactly what you want in a relationship – never settle because you don’t know when the right person will show up in your life. If you do settle, and Mr. or Mrs. Right walks into your life, you’ll know, and you’ll kick yourself in the teeth for not waiting just a bit longer.
On the subject of children, adults 35+ without kids are freer financially to have money to take care of themselves, their aging parents, and their future investments. A post on telegraph.co.uk describes a growing niche group, set up in 2014 by Kirsty Woodard, called Ageing without Children (AWOC) to raise awareness and provide support. There is a lot to be said about a woman who deliberately chooses not to have children, it is right up there with gender slurs. Older women without children generally receive a negative connotation from society. Women who choose not to have children are met with opposition from peers on why they made a choice not to procreate. Don’t let this get you down, there have been studies conducted that prove a positive trend in increased levels of happiness for people without children, and leading a more liberating and freeing adult life without the responsibilities of children.
People who get married young and have children miss out on truly getting to experience their young adult life, and tend to have resentments later in life for not ‘living it up’ or ‘sewing their wild oats.’ One great reference would be a famous book written by Paulo Coelho called The Alchemist. Actor Will Smith regards Coelho’s book as one of his favorites, which relates to the potency of the principles laced within the pages of the book. In the book, Coelho developed the concept of one’s legend. The premise of one’s legend is all about how a person with a vision should keep to their goals and visualize success in one’s life. In the story, it talks about a young man meeting women. The choice he has is between falling in love and staying with his proclaimed woman or continuing to pursue his legend. He receives divine guidance to pursue his legend. Otherwise, his married life would end in resentment as he would have chosen not to pursue his goals. The point is clear in this famous book: you need to fulfill your life and pursue your legend to mitigate any risk or resentment of one’s life.
When you see your friends getting married and having children, don’t fret. Some will end up divorced, and some will end up with expensive children who they are responsible for. If you are single and picked on for not following suit of the whole married with children, don’t fret.
Look the other way. From being more financially liberate, having less family responsibility, and being a generally happier person, there are actually a lot of positives about being single with no children. There is no wrong way to live life, just make sure you find your happiness. Stay secure, singles!
Views expressed in this article are the author’s opinions and do not necessarily reflect the views of Secure Single. It is intended for informational and educational purposes only. It is not investment or financial advice. James Bollen is the author of Thriving Solo: How to Flourish and Live Your Perfect Life (Without A Soulmate). Now available in paperback and for the Kindle on Amazon. Subscribe to Secure Single’s Substack for free!
A trend that started in the mid-2000s with singles buying jewelry to celebrate their singlehood is now reaching its height as single Millennials are buying themselves diamond engagement rings. Wedding jewelry has traditionally been meant only for a bride and groom, but the rise of singles has evolved past that convention. As Millennials begin to earn more money and continue to remain single, there is nothing wrong with unmarried Millennials treating themselves to nice jewelry. Singles should not be afraid to purchase jewelry that looks like wedding rings, but should be ready to answer questions about wearing bridal jewelry. Diamonds are single Millennials’ best friend and getting married is not required to own wedding jewelry.
Da Beers found that single Millennials are self-purchasing more diamonds for themselves. This new trend in the diamond jewelry market is not surprising. Singles continue to be a dominating and rising demographic while marriage is in decline in industrialized nations. Many well-known brands are still trying to understand the single demographic to market to them. They should consult Secure Single. Marriage rates are down. Divorce rates are up. Children being raised by single parents are up. The time to be single and unmarried is up. The time to be single is now.
Jewelry is meant to be a fashion statement and to celebrate yourself. So why not buy yourself an engagement ring or wedding jewelry, singles? No one needs to know that you are not getting married. If someone asks if you are engaged or married because you are wearing a ring that looks like an engagement ring, just be honest. You can say that you like the jewelry, but you are unattached. You have excellent taste in jewelry. A husband can wait. Love can wait. Men may not be necessary today. Men are not women’s best friend. Diamonds are a girl’s best friend.
Jewelry allows women, and men in limited circumstances, to present their personality to the world. It has also been connected to money, power, and prestige. Jewelry, especially diamonds and high-end jewelry, has traditionally been given as a dowry should the husband die so that the wife could have income to support herself. While dowries are no longer practiced today in many developed countries, a woman could sell jewelry should she for some reason have to pay off debts. Jewelry serves many important uses to the wearer but the most important attribute is displaying the individuality of the person who is wearing a piece of jewelry.
The single life provides autonomy, flexibility, security, and diversity so each single can determine how to best live their own individual life. Jewelry reflects the single life. There are a range of different types of jewelry that can be bought. Mass produced jewelry. Boutique jewelry. Cheap jewelry. High-end jewelry. Bespoke jewelry. The stones, cuts, metals, and customs designs are limitless as are the options that the single life provides to all singles. This trend of single Millennials purchasing bridal jewelry is not a cause of alarm, as demographics have changed and Millennials have started to come into money buying high-end jewelry is a reflection of where they are in life. If single Millennials have a great jobs, house, and other basic life necessities covered then purchasing jewelry is a wise choice. More singles should buy diamond and precious gemstone jewelry for themselves.
Being single means that you are in full control of your life. Singles who want to purchase fine wedding jewelry to wear should not worry about what other think. You are responsible for your choices and if you want high-end jewelry that has classically been meant for a bride, purchase it. Treat yourself! Buy fine diamond jewelry from “Tiffany, Cartier, Black Starr, Frost Gorham… Harry Winston” and don’t be afraid to flaunt your singlehood (“tell me all about it”).
Views expressed in this article are the author’s opinions and do not necessarily reflect the views of Secure Single. It is intended for informational and educational purposes only. It is not investment or financial advice. James Bollen is the author of Thriving Solo: How to Flourish and Live Your Perfect Life (Without A Soulmate). Now available in paperback and for the Kindle on Amazon. Subscribe to Secure Single’s Substack for free!
Many self-made billionaires, like Mark Cuban, started out in similar circumstances to your current walk of life, and in some cases, many of the self-made elites had worse off beginnings than you. The reason they are so successful is that they have developed an excellent work ethic. Mark Cuban shares his top tips for 20-somethings. It turns out that mastering these basic tips can pay dividends for your future self. You will be surprised at how simple these tips are — the top tips actually make a difference if you master the basics.
Never Underestimate the Power of Frugality
Sure you may have roommates in your 20-somethings, but take this time to pay off your student loan debt (if you have any), and save up as much cash as you can. If you have no family, dog, or car payments, take this time to work two jobs. Multiple sources of income are key. Where frugality comes into play is when you start to spend money defensively. Many millionaires and billionaires have amassed large fortunes due to their immaculate ability to watch where their money is going. Do not invest in anything that rots, depreciates, or rusts. Being frugal is one of the keys to building wealth. Don’t let the ‘keeping up with the Jones’s be an issue, having money in your pocket at the end of the day is king.
“It doesn’t matter where you live. It doesn’t matter how you live. It doesn’t matter what car you drive. It doesn’t matter what kind of clothes you wear, [and] the more you stress over bills, the more difficult it is to focus on your goals. The cheaper you can live, the greater your options.” — Mark Cuban
Take What You Can Get & Develop Your Side Hustle
In life you will have many opportunities to change your life. You have the responsibility to take the chances to make what you want to happen. You might not land your dream job right away, but that doesn’t mean you can’t appreciate providing value at a job you currently work at. If you work 40 hours a week, take some time do develop a side hustle which will improve your life in two ways: You will build essential business skills, and the work you do can become your passion that can turn you into a millionaire. Building your own company is a highly advised tool that can make you very wealthy – check into it.
When you find something you love, and the pay doesn’t matter, you’ve found the sweet spot to where your passion will pay dividends, and you will end up making a lot more money doing simply because your heart is in it. Business Insider blog contributor Richard Feloni notes that you need to prioritize your passion over your paycheck if you want to put yourself on a rewarding career path that allows you to thrive.
Be grateful for your current situation, and work like hell to make your dream come true. You will incur failure, but failure is only an indication of striving for the next big thing. Keep moving forward.
“If you love what you do so much that you are willing to continue to live like a student in order to be able to stay in the job, you have found your calling.”
— Mark Cuban
Be the Best You Can Be – In Any Situation
In your 20’s the majority of decisions you make will deeply impact your future, more so than the decisions you make in your 30’s and 40’s. Time is precious, and once you spend it, you can never get it back. Make a decision to be the best you can in any career, living situation, or relationship. When you put your best foot forward, there will be nothing to regret. Make the decision of excellence. When you do your best, you make it easier on the people around you to do what they need to.
If you’re working somewhere that is not your ideal career path, do your best anyway. When you’re outside of work hours, put in the time to develop your profession by doing your business development. Self-education will make you rich.
The above tips may be simple, but mastering the basics is key to your success. Starting in your 20-somethings with the right mindset and the initiation of developing your good habits will be the solid foundation for which you can succeed. Go forth and be amazing!
Views expressed in this article are the author’s opinions and do not necessarily reflect the views of Secure Single. It is intended for informational and educational purposes only. It is not investment or financial advice. James Bollen is the author of Thriving Solo: How to Flourish and Live Your Perfect Life (Without A Soulmate). Now available in paperback and for the Kindle on Amazon. Subscribe to Secure Single’s Substack for free!
In the first article; I defined technosexual and technosexuality as well as some of the basic types of sex technology. Those who identify as technosexual or those who like to use sex tech, who fall under technosexuality, face many of the same stigmas that singles do by society. Technology, particularly technosexuality, has increased the opportunities for singles to have sexual experiences by finding people online and with mobile applications. Computer and smartphones software applications have made it easier to connect with people to find whatever type of experience that a single may be looking for by simply using an application.
There are many different software applications on the mobile marketplace that targets those who are interested in using the technology to find sex. The most well-known is Tinder. It has been found that most of the people who use Tinder are actually in a relationship of some type, but that does not mean that eliminates singles from using the app. There are more apps than just Tinder that singles should consider using to find a steamy connection or to learn some sex tips. Singles that are looking for a casual fling, Down is the app for that (formerly called Bang With Friends). For singles who are looking to impress their next connection, there is Cosmopolitan’s Sex Position of the Day. For those singles who want to create a list of sex positions that they want to try, gamify their sex life, and learn some Kama Sutra there is Love Sparks. For those singles that want to keep track of their sexual conquests in case you catch an illness or get pregnant from one of your exciting nights as well as the type of sex that you had all on a discreet icon, Sexulator is the app for you. Finally, for singles that have limited time Pure is an app that lets you find a match and rendezvous for a one hour for some no-strings attached fun and the best part, the app will delete any messages or pictures that the correspondence send to each other once the one hour is up. These are only a few of the number of software applications that are available now for those singles who want to have some adult fun and find someone to join you.
Singles who are looking for a physical connection and want to make use of what technosexuality has to offer individuals today, be sure to check out some of these apps. The single life offers singles autonomy and flexibility to live their life how they choose and these software applications can be part of the 21st Century’s single’s lifestyle. Some singles may choose not to embrace these apps and technosexuality, which is perfectly fine. The growth of technology and the prevalence of smartphones mobile applications have brought technosexuality to the forefront of society and this makes it easier for singles to find the type of experience that they are looking for by simply downloading an app.
Views expressed in this article are the author’s opinions and do not necessarily reflect the views of Secure Single. It is intended for informational and educational purposes only. It is not investment or financial advice. James Bollen is the author of Thriving Solo: How to Flourish and Live Your Perfect Life (Without A Soulmate). Now available in paperback and for the Kindle on Amazon. Subscribe to Secure Single’s Substack for free!
Society portrays singles and the unmarried as being sad, lonely, and unsatisfied with their lives. However, the reality could not be farther away from this stigma and stereotype. Singles today outnumber those who are coupled or dating in industrialized countries and singles are deciding, or prolonging, staying single longer than ever before for many reasons. There are many reasons why the rise of the single and unmarried in society is a great thing and society should embrace singlehood and singleness instead of stigmatizing those who are single.
Singles are often shown as being alone and lonely. That is in fact false when compared to those who are couples. The unmarried are more likely to be engaged in their communities, civic groups, and public events as well as find more ways to be involved in their cities by finding different events and causes to attend and support compared to their married counterparts. Singles are also more likely to volunteer their time to coach, mentor, teach, counsel, and support causes and organizations that they want to assist to help others compared to couples. Singles have autonomy and flexibility that come with the single life. Singles don’t only help organizations through their volunteerism, but they also help their cities.
As the traditional family home goes, in its place are growing apartments and condos for one person. Where single and unmarried Millennials are moving to in cities often results in the growth of neighborhoods since they go out more and want to return to their house. This has led to the rise of neighborhoods in cities, and the rise of cities, where Millennials have moved to for work. This in turn has resulted in the growth of cities economies and of new types of restaurants and cafes that want to attract single Millennial customers. As single Millennials have brought about revitalization and growth in cities and their neighborhoods, single women have been able to contribute more to the economy as they have been able to enter the workforce.
Women have made considerable economic gains over the past decades with the success of feminist movements and as it has become acceptable to go to school and get a job. Today, only 14% of Millennial women are homemakers. Women are also projected to make up more than half of the United States work force by 2018. Single women share the values of the Millennial generation, according to a recent U.S. Census Bureau report, that places economic and educational success as more important than getting married and starting a family. These different factors have finally given women the freedom to not have to get married to have economic security. In the 21st Century, women can provide for themselves and attain financial freedom on their own without needing a man.
These sociological and economic changes have finally allowed singles to live full lives. Single is no longer a state where an unmarried individual must wait to mate. Being single today can now be a choice and not just a temporary state. As Millennials continue to delay and not consider marriage a necessary milestone, singles are able to live their fullest lives by making use of the autonomy and flexibility of the single life.
Views expressed in this article are the author’s opinions and do not necessarily reflect the views of Secure Single. It is intended for informational and educational purposes only. It is not investment or financial advice. James Bollen is the author of Thriving Solo: How to Flourish and Live Your Perfect Life (Without A Soulmate). Now available in paperback and for the Kindle on Amazon. Subscribe to Secure Single’s Substack for free!
The Secure Single Crew wants to wish all singles, and our followers, a Happy Easter and Eggs Benedict Day. Celebrate one, or both, holidays by having brunch. Singles can find a brunch place and eat alone or invite some friends to have a relaxing Sunday to catch up. After all, eating alone is on the rise.
Whether or not you celebrate Easter, holidays are usually a time to reconnect and to get together with friends and family. Being social is important for singles as Millennials have been found to be lonely and to have less friends on average compared to past generations. Relax today alone or with friends and find a brunch spot that you have been wanting to try to celebrate Eggs Benedict Day and Easter. Have a great Sunday and we look forward to providing more content that will help singles and the unmarried to flourish in life!
Best Regards,
James Bollen and the Secure Single Crew
Views expressed in this article are the author’s opinions and do not necessarily reflect the views of Secure Single. It is intended for informational and educational purposes only. It is not investment or financial advice. James Bollen is the author of Thriving Solo: How to Flourish and Live Your Perfect Life (Without A Soulmate). Now available in paperback and for the Kindle on Amazon. Subscribe to Secure Single’s Substack for free!