Society wants people to be charismatic and outgoing. Autistic people are often introverted and lack social skills. They are the opposite of those who do well in a society that advances extroverts. There is a dark connection between autism and suicide.
Autism And Suicide
Isolation
People with autism tend to isolate themselves. There are many reasons why they may do this. They do not want to be around the bright lights and sounds that come with going out. A person with ASD also becomes fixated on something. They spend all their time working on whatever their fixation is on.
Difficulty With Relationships
By spending time in isolation, many people with autism have difficulty with relationships. A person with ASD may not have many friends. This is because they prefer to spend time alone and usually have an inner monologue with themselves. The mind is always running.
Romantic relationships are complex for many people with autism. They lack the soft skills and the social graces to come across the right way to someone they may want to date.
Lack Of Social Skills
Someone on the spectrum lacks the social and soft skills people expect in everyday interactions. It could be something as simple as not standing too close to a person. But what seems evident to neuro-normative people is not apparent to a neurodiverse person.
The problem with social skills negatively affects an autistic individual’s ability to find stability. Job.
Difficulty Finding Stable Jobs
A vital part of getting a stable job is being able to pass interviews and then deal with office politics. Both of those are difficult for ASD individuals to do. My Disability Jobs writes, “at least 85% of adults that are autistic are unemployed and have a college education.” The high unemployment rate of autistic individuals affects their ability to have a stable income.
Interviewers are trained to treat an interview as a vetting process to determine which candidate best fits a company’s culture while bringing their skills. The lack of soft skills makes an interviewee with ASD come across as cold.
Hard Time Moving Up In Companies
Since many people with ASD have difficulty finding stable jobs, they are unable to move up in companies to increase their income. They lose access to traditional full-time work. Full-time jobs often include healthcare and retirement benefits. Many autistic people get stuck working dead-end jobs that can never pay the bills, which become more expensive as an adult.
Financial Problems
The inability to find stable jobs leads to financial problems. They have difficulty paying the bills. Many are unable to save and invest for their future. They end up in debt.
Financial stress is another common cause that leads to suicide. The combination of the problems that autistic individuals have in finding a job, being unable to cover their bills, and financial anxiety increases the risk of suicide for people with ASD.
As a result of financial problems and being unable to find a career to move up in, many fail to launch.
Failure To Launch
All of these can lead to a failure to launch once an autistic person reaches adulthood. Some may end up living with their parents. Others may get kicked out of where they rent and become homeless.
They fall behind financially, socially, and professionally. This failure to launch may make someone with ASD believe they are a failure. It may result in someone with autism to commit suicide.
Summary
The dark connection between autism and suicide comes down to people with autism lacking soft skills. The lack of social skills affects their personal and professional life. The result is being unable to launch and live a normal adult life.
Views expressed in this article are the author’s opinions and do not necessarily reflect the views of Secure Single. It is intended for informational and educational purposes only. It is not investment, financial, or legal advice. Consult with a financial or legal professional before making an investment or legal decision. James Bollen is the author of Thriving Solo: How to Flourish and Live Your Perfect Life (Without A Soulmate). It is now available in paperback and for the Kindle on Amazon.
Why do people not like therapists? Sometimes, therapists are just an expense to have a third party listen to your problems. Their advice or help is often generic and not worth the expensive price tag. Here are ten reasons why people do not like therapists.
Why People Do Not Like Therapists
They Tell You The Obvious
During sessions with a therapist, they tell you things you already know. You know you have problems (everyone does). Rather than providing practical advice to help you improve, they want you to come back to talk. It helps their bank account. You think it helps you, too.
Therapists Always Talk About The Same Things
The therapist you are seeing will likely return to the same surface issues that you brought up in past sessions. You only see them for thirty minutes to an hour. They cannot truly get to know you and the cause of your problems. It is in their self-interest to provide a solution to make it seem worthwhile. They want you to come back to talk more.
Give You Generic Sheets To Fill Out
Therapists give generic sheets to help clients with their problems. The issue with this is that you can find most of the information online by quickly searching. You can even find therapy sheets online. Why pay for a therapist when you can find similar information online yourself?
Work on yourself. Learn to do basic research. Stop overpaying for a therapist.
Limited Time Per Session
Your time is limited per session. This means that there is only so much time that a therapist can try to understand you. After they go through the recommended number of sessions, a therapist will start to offer solutions that may or may not help. They want you to think they are helping you, even if their help is not reaching your problem’s root.
Fake Connection
The connection feels fake. You are paying to be there. You spend your money for each session, hoping the therapists can help you. It is a professional relationship, not a familial relationship or a friendship. Rather than spend lots of money on a therapist, you could discuss some of these issues with a close friend or family member.
Vague Advice
There is only so much time in a session. A therapist only has so much experience in being able to give practical advice. Most of a therapist’s time is spent in sessions with other clients instead of researching self-development strategies or figuring out ways to work on oneself. Most of the worksheets they receive come pre-prepared. Because a therapist does not actively seek knowledge about personal development, their knowledge is vague and often unhelpful.
Schedule Another Session
It is in their interest to increase the amount of money that goes into their checking account. While they may provide a service that some people may find helpful, similar information can be found with some research online. There is no reason to spend much money on a counselor or a therapist. Learn to do a bit of research to solve your problems.
Dictate How You Should Feel About Something
A therapist is taught to think that there is only one right type of childhood or way to grow up. The reality is that everyone has a different experience. Everyone has issues with their friends, family, and co-workers. A therapist sells things in black and white when the world is grey.
Pragmatism and finding your solutions are preferable to spending lots of money on a therapist.
Dismiss Your Concerns
A therapist studies psychology. They are the therapist. They spent lots of money and likely went into debt to receive a degree in psychology. They are the expert in the room, not you. You know more about your circumstances than any therapist could ever know. Any concerns you may bring up in your sessions will be dismissed as unrelated or not backed by research.
The problem is that therapists are just glorified academics. They read lots of books while in school. They may deal with clients daily, but those interactions are very different from interacting with the reality that comes with the real world.
Everyone has problems. Everyone has issues. Everyone has concerns. To dismiss those concerns is to ignore the difficulties of being human.
Snitch On You If You Have Thoughts About Suicide
If you tell a therapist that you have the slightest idea of suicide ideation, a therapist will not have a problem writing you another prescription. They may even send a letter to the psych ward. Therapy is overly concerned with safety. Therapists do not want to get down to the nitty and gritty about why a person may be having those thoughts. They would instead take the easy way out than discuss the darkness and monster that each person hides.
It is simple. It makes them look good. The last thing any therapist wants is for a client to die on them. It would hurt their bottom line.
My Experience With Therapists
I have only seen two therapists. My experience with them has been that I was overpaying to talk to someone. They mostly told me things that I already knew. I was working to better myself anyway. I had become stuck due to following what the system tells people results in success. That system did not work for me. I wasted my twenties going to college and graduate school. My therapist did not want to hear about that. She thought college helped to lead to her personal success.
The therapists would give me generic worksheets. They would practice having conversations with me. I did not see the point of either of those. I could find that information online. I could go to a restaurant or a bar to talk to people. The problem is that there are better uses of my time and money than always spending money. My therapists encouraged me to live beyond my means at the time by telling me to go out. That is horrible self-development and personal finance advice. Yet, that is what my therapists recommended I do.
The only reason why I went to see therapists was because my family wanted me to. I hated every second of every session. The only good thing I got from one therapist was a diagnosis from a licensed therapist that I was autistic. However, the therapist made me take the same autism test that I had already done online for free. This time, I had to pay $90 for a thirty-minute session to get a proper diagnosis.
Solutions
The best thing to do is to invest in yourself. Therapists want you to work on your weaknesses. You likely already know what those are. There is no reason to pay someone else to tell you what those are.
Core problems that many people deal with are related to self-confidence, happiness, and personal finance. All three of those are connected.
Invest in yourself by starting a hustle or an online business. Go to the gym. Hone a skill that you know you lack. Seek to make yourself happy by setting and reaching goals.
There is no reason to pay a therapist to figure out things that you can solve yourself.
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Summary
Mental health has become a popular topic for the younger generation. The problem is, are they overpaying to see a therapist? How much does therapy help? From my personal experience, it is very little. That time and money would be better spent resolving issues for oneself. You likely already know your core problems. Why do you need to pay to talk to someone? Work on yourself and invest that money in yourself rather than in an overpriced therapist.
Views expressed in this article are the author’s opinions and do not necessarily reflect the views of Secure Single. It is intended for informational and educational purposes only. It is not investment or financial advice. James Bollen is the author of Thriving Solo: How to Flourish and Live Your Perfect Life (Without A Soulmate). Now available in paperback and for the Kindle on Amazon. Subscribe to Secure Single’s Substack for free!
Introduction
Depression and loneliness are a deadly combination. Loneliness is a growing issue as more people live alone. According to health insurance companies, there has also been a rise in major depression for Americans. The overlap between depression and loneliness contributes to social isolation. Loneliness and depression are growing problems that people deal with in their lives. Here are twenty ways how you can practically deal with depression and loneliness.
Depression and Loneliness
What Is Depression?
According to the Mayo Clinic, depression is a “mood disorder that causes a persistent feeling of sadness or loss of interest. Also called a major depressive disorder or clinical depression, it affects how you feel, think and behave and can lead to various emotional and physical problems.” Depression can make it difficult for you to function and do day-to-day activities and tasks. At its worst, depression can make you feel that life is not worth living.
There are different types of depression. One is short-term depression which will last only for a brief period. You may then never experience it again. The second is situational depression. You may share this when you move and don’t know anyone or are afraid of your big move. The final type of depression is long-term depression. Long-term depression is when you will have to deal with depression throughout your life.
As some people may call it, a person cannot just get out of depression or snap out of it. Depression is more than being sad or having the blues. If you experience depression, you may want to consider seeking out long-term treatment. People with depression will often discover that they will feel better with therapy, medication, or doing both to deal with their depression. Another way is to find ways to stay busy to take your mind off your depression by finding things you enjoy doing with your time.
Related Article: Know Your Enemy: Depression
6 Different Types of Common Depression
From my own experience, depression can also come from people not thinking they have a purpose for their life, so they go into cycles of depression. These cycles of depression could come from not meeting the goals you set for yourself, having trouble finding a job, and being unemployed. Or even being underemployed. Depression can make you feel and think that you don’t matter or that you are unable to contribute to society, which makes you think, “what is the point?” Or, “why am I here?” These thoughts then lead to a cycle of depression.
According to Harvard Health Publishing, there are six common depression types. Four types of depression affect both men and women, while two kinds of depression are specific to women. Major depression is when you lose interest in activities you once enjoyed and become consumed by a malignant dark mood. Persistent depressive disorder is a low mood depression that lasts for at least two years without reaching the intensity of major depression. Bipolar disorder is when someone experiences episodes of depression. Seasonal affective disorder (SAD) is a seasonal depression that starts as the days get shorter in the fall and winter months.
Two types of depression are unique to women. Women are at risk of experiencing perinatal depression and premenstrual dysphoric disorder (PMDD) because women’s reproductive hormones influence these two types of depression. Perinatal depression, or postpartum depression, is a depression that has minor and major depressive episodes during pregnancy or the first twelve months of delivery for women. Premenstrual dysphoric disorder (PMDD) is a severe form of premenstrual syndrome (PMS), which symptoms start after ovulation and at the start of menstruation.
Depression Symptoms
Since there are various types of depression, people could experience it once or throughout their lives. During the depression, there are symptoms of depression that will occur for most of the day. According to the Mayo Clinic, the symptoms of depression that you may experience during the day with depression include:
- Feelings of sadness, tearfulness, emptiness, or hopelessness
- Angry outbursts, irritability or frustration, even over small matters
- Loss of interest or pleasure in most or all normal activities, such as sex, hobbies, or sports
- Sleep disturbances, including insomnia or sleeping too much
- Tiredness and lack of energy, so even small tasks take extra effort
- Reduced appetite and weight loss or increased cravings for food and weight gain
- Anxiety, agitation, or restlessness
- Slowed thinking, speaking, or body movements
- Feelings of worthlessness or guilt, fixating on past failures or self-blame
- Trouble thinking, concentrating, making decisions, and remembering things
- Frequent or recurrent thoughts of death, suicidal thoughts, suicide attempts, or suicide
- Unexplained physical problems, such as back pain or headaches
For some people who deal with depression, the symptoms of depression can affect their daily lives. The symptoms covered below can make someone have problems performing day-to-day activities and tasks, such as studying for school, attending social events, and their relationships with friends and family. Depression can also make someone not want to
Along with these symptoms, depression can also cause other mental disorders. According to the Mayo Clinic, these are other disorders that depression can cause:
- Bipolar I and II disorders: Bipolar disorders are mood swings that range from highs (mania) mood swings that range from highs (mania) to lows (depression). It’s sometimes difficult to distinguish between bipolar disorder and depression.
- Cyclothymic disorder: The cyclothymic disorder involves highs and lows that are milder than those of bipolar disorder.
- Disruptive mood dysregulation disorder: This mood disorder includes chronic and severe irritability and anger with frequent extreme temper outbursts in children. This disorder typically develops into depressive disorder or anxiety disorder during the teen years or adulthood.
- Persistent depressive disorder: Sometimes called dysthymia (dis-THIE-me-uh), this is a less severe but more chronic form of depression. While it’s usually not disabling, the persistent depressive disorder can prevent you from functioning normally in your daily routine and living life to its fullest.
- Premenstrual dysphoric disorder: This involves depression symptoms associated with hormone changes that begin a week before and improve within a few days after the onset of your period and are minimal or gone after completion of your period.
- Other depression disorders: This includes depression that’s caused by the use of recreational drugs, some prescribed medications, or another medical condition.
Related Article: Depression in Ageing Singles: 5 Steps for Aging Singles to Apply in Their Daily Life to Thrive in Midlife as a Single Person
Drivers of Depression
There are a few main drivers of depression in people’s lives. For Millennials, depression has been blamed on social media, debt, and the economy. The Millennials came up age during a transition point in the economy. Yet, during this transition from the physical economy to the online digital economy resulting from the Dot Com Boom, they were encouraged to go to college. Career counselors and parents believed that to be the only way to succeed. By going to college, Millennials went into debt only to discover that after they graduated and could only get an entry-level job dead-end job where they could never work their way up in a company. While depression is a mental health problem, depression can also be caused by not having financial stability.
Many Millennials are depressed because they were sold a lie about college. They struggle to make ends meet due to college debt, working gig jobs, rising living costs in the United States, and now inflation with no financial stability. Being sold a lie about college and America’s poor economy forces Millennials to find new ways to make ends meet, which previous generations did not understand. This has led Millennials to take part in The Great Resignation. Since Millennials are not economically and financially secure, which are significant factors contributing to self-confidence and well-being, many have become depressed.
Related Article: 30 Reasons For The Great Resignation
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What Is Loneliness?
Loneliness is the distressing feeling of being alone or separated. Loneliness is the state of distress or discomfort that results from a gap between one’s desires for social connection and actual experiences. Loneliness is isolation when you have no friends or a community in your life, creating a feeling of sadness. However, it is vital to point out that you can live by yourself without feeling lonely. More people are experiencing the emotions associated with loneliness and experiencing a gap between what they currently have and what they want to have in their social life. Loneliness is also a state of mind.
Related article: What Is The Difference? Solitude Versus Tyranny
The Loneliness Epidemic
Key Point: [bctt tweet=”The Loneliness Epidemic is a growing problem in the United States and worldwide.” via=”no”]
Loneliness is the cause of the loneliness epidemic. There is a difference between solitude and loneliness. More people experiencing loneliness create the loneliness epidemic.
There are two critical reasons for the rise in loneliness today. The atomization of people has led to increased social isolation and loneliness. Social media is also a problem. Those are two recent components of a society that have made people more isolated and less involved in their communities. People rarely know their neighbors today compared to previous generations. Social media has helped drive the loneliness epidemic as people spend more time on their screens rather than interacting with people in real life. There are also health consequences that come from loneliness. The other reason is the atomization of people, which results from people becoming more divided today.
Related Article: The Ultimate Guide for How to Host a Housewarming Party
Health Effects Of Loneliness
Key Point: [bctt tweet=”Loneliness can be as dangerous to your health as obesity and smoking.” via=”no”]
Loneliness can negatively affect your health. Loneliness can result in depression or early death. It can be as harmful to your health as smoking or being obese. Depression and anxiety are two common mental health issues resulting from loneliness.
According to the CDC and studies done by the National Academy of Sciences, risks from loneliness and social isolation include the following:
• Social isolation significantly increases a person’s risk of premature death from all causes. This risk may rival those of smoking, obesity, and physical inactivity.
• Social isolation was associated with about a 50% percent increased risk of dementia.
• Poor social relationships (characterized by social isolation or loneliness) were associated with a 29% increased risk of heart disease and a 32% increased risk of stroke.
• Loneliness was associated with higher depression, anxiety, and suicide rates.
• Loneliness among heart failure patients was associated with a nearly four times increased risk of death, 68% increased risk of hospitalization, and 57% increased risk of emergency department visits.
Overlap Between Depression And Loneliness
There are overlaps in the negative health consequences resulting from depression and loneliness. Here is a shortlist of the similarities between depression and loneliness. Loneliness can lead to depression. Loneliness and depression both contribute to anxiety. Depression and loneliness both can lead to suicide. Loneliness and depression can both affect your social life. Depression and loneliness can also affect your ability to be active and exercise.
Related Article: The Loneliness Epidemic and the Social Media Paradox
How Can You Deal With Depression And Loneliness?
Key Point: [bctt tweet=”There are strategies that you can implement in your life to deal with depression and loneliness.” via=”no”]
There are many ways how you can deal with depression and loneliness. It will require you to work on your mental health and become social with people. This can be difficult to do depending on the type of depression you may have. Being social is also a vital solution to solving depression and loneliness. Below are twenty ways how you can deal with depression and loneliness.
20 Ways How To Deal With Depression and Loneliness
Make A Plan
Make a plan for how you will deal with your depression and loneliness. There are many different ways how you can deal with depression and loneliness. The main methods are to focus on your health and relationships and work on yourself. When you have a strategy for dealing with your depression or loneliness, you will have set a standard for yourself that you want to meet in your life.
Take Action
After you plan, you can start to do something about it by acting on your strategy. Action is better than inaction. It may be as simple as saying that you will get out of your bed and open up all the blinds in your house or apartment for depression. For loneliness, an example could be that I will talk to one person for a couple of minutes when I go to a social event.
Exercise
Another way is to exercise. Plan how many times you want to go to the gym a week. This will help you get more fit while regularly seeing people going to the gym. You can plan how often you want to go to the gym to work towards your fitness goals—the combination of exercise and seeing people will help with depression.
Diet
Along with exercise, diet is also essential to improve your mental health. A diet helps you to eat healthier food. When you practice a diet, it will help you to develop self-discipline. This is because you are setting a goal for yourself of what you want to accomplish. You can choose from many diets, with popular diets like the Mediterranean, Keto, Carnivore, French, and Vegan diets.
Go Outside
Instead of staying inside all the time, go outside. You can take a walk around your neighborhood. You could also go on a hike. It is healthy to get out of your house. This will help you get vitamin d from the sun while also seeing and interacting with people.
Mental Health
Depression is a mental health issue. Loneliness can lead to depression and unhealthy habits. For this reason, focus on your mental health. This will better help you to find ways to deal with depression. When you start to focus more on your mental health, you can improve your well-being and productivity.
Meditation
Meditation is a way that you can work to improve your mental health. Meditation helps with stress relief. It also will help to improve your attention and train your thoughts. Meditation can help to develop self-discipline because you are making time in your day to sit down and focus on your ideas for some time. Meditation can also help you to improve your emotional regulation. Meditation can also help you to improve your sleep.
Rest And Sleep
It is also essential to get enough rest and sleep. According to the Sleep Foundation, “growing evidence now suggests that poor sleep may induce or exacerbate depression” You can work to improve your sleep by having a bedtime to set yourself a sleep cycle. Another way is not to have caffeine, alcohol, or tobacco in the evening since they can affect your ability to get a good night’s rest. Another way to improve the quality of your sleep is to take melatonin before bed. You can find melatonin in liquid and capsule form, and you take melatonin about thirty minutes before bed.
Develop Coping Skills
You can also work to develop coping skills. There are unhealthy coping skills such as blaming other people, self-harm, comfort eating and using alcohol and drugs as a way for you to not deal with your emotions or problems. Healthy coping mechanisms distract yourself with healthy activities like exercise or getting outside, journaling, talking to a friend, venting your feelings, changing your mindset, and switching from negative to positive thinking. When you transition from negative to positive coping skills, you will become more productive in your life and feel better overall.
Positive Outlook On Life
Change from a negative outlook on life to a positive outlook on life. Your mindset and how you think about life directly affect your outlook on life. Negative thinking patterns will keep you trapped in negative thinking. You will continue to blame others for where you are in life instead of learning to take responsibility by working to overcome negative thinking and a fixed mindset. The alternative to negative thinking is positive thinking. Another option for a fixed mindset is a growth mindset. When you acquire positive thinking and a growth mindset in your life, you will discover that you will be better able to achieve your goals and be happier.
Time Management
Time management is another skill to learn. As you start to manage your time better, you will keep yourself busy throughout your day. If you are looking to work your time during your day better, there are productivity tools that you can use on your computer or near you to help you manage your time.
There are two productivity tools that I recommend that I ordered from Etsy. APKhome makes a dry-erase acrylic to-do list with a matching daily planner. UsefulPlanner makes a variety of time management pdf documents that you can use on your computer or print out. I recommend UsefulPlanner’s ADHD planner bundle for adults. If you are a small business owner, UsefulPlanner also makes a small business planner binder.
Church
You can go to church or whatever religious organization or beliefs you may have. This will help you to get out of your house and meet like-minded people in your community who share similar values as you. You will also find groups where you can be a part of your church. It could be a young adult group to a book club. A church, or what religious organization you may be a part of, is another way for you to meet like-minded people in your community.
Pets
Another good way to not be depressed or lonely is to have a pet. A dog, cat, or another type of animal gives you something you are responsible for in your life. Pets are beneficial to mental health. Pets can improve your mental health by making your feel less lonely, increase your sense of self-esteem and well-being, decrease stress, and give you unconditional love.
Related Article: 7 Reasons Why Singles Need To Have Pets And Why Pets Are Better Than A Significant Other
Stay In Touch With People
You can stay in touch with people in your life. It could be as simple as sending a text message to a friend or family member, asking how they are doing, and letting them know that you are doing all right. Some basic ways to stay in touch with people in your life are to send a text message, social media message, or email friends or family. You can also meet a friend for coffee or invite friends to your apartment or house.
Related Article: Friends Are The Family You Choose (Even If You Don’t Stay In Touch With A Friend)
Friends
While pets are good, friends are even better! Friends can help you deal with depression and loneliness. Unlike pets, people can talk to you. People also understand emotions. You can also meet with a friend to get coffee or your favorite place to talk about what is on your mind. Social connection is a critical part of human nature. If you have a best friend or a couple of friends you can talk to, consider yourself lucky.
Related Article: 3 Ways Singles Can Have Amazing Relationships With Their Friends In Daily Life
Family
Along with friends, spending time with your family can be a way to deal with depression and loneliness. You grew up with your family, familiar with your siblings and parents. No family is perfect, but they are related to you. You can get together with your family or spend more time socializing with them. If you live near your family, you could get together with them weekly or once a month to socialize with your parents or siblings.
Community
Humans are social creatures. As social creatures, being social is essential for your mental health. There are many different ways how you can find a community. You can go to a Meetup group in your area. You could go to a coffee shop. You could go to a bar or restaurant you want to visit. You could find local events in your area around your interests. You can also volunteer. These are just a few ways to get involved with your community.
Set Realistic Standards For Yourself
When it comes to depression and loneliness, it is critical to set realistic standards for yourself. These practical standards will challenge you to find ways to work on dealing with depression or loneliness. It could be something as simple as getting sunshine so that you don’t stay inside your house. As you begin to feel better, you can raise your standards to meet the goals you want to complete. But as with anything, start small as getting a little sunshine or smiling more often during your day.
Goals
Another way is to work to make goals for yourself. When you set goals for yourself, you have things you are working towards in life. Goals will give reasons to get up in the morning when you may be depressed or feel lonely. A simple goal could be getting up in the morning and leaving your house. You can also set goals for yourself that you want to work to achieve in your life.
Therapy
The final way is to consider seeing a therapist. A therapist is a professional who can help you deal with your depression. A therapist could also give you strategies to get out and meet people to deal with loneliness. There are various types of therapy to help you deal with depression, including Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT), Dialectical Behavioral Therapy (DBT), Light Therapy, Interpersonal Therapy, and Acceptance and Commitment Therapy (ACT). You can also learn to practice self-care strategies like leaving your house, talking to friends or family, exercising, or seeing a therapist.
Related Article: 5 Reasons Why Singles Need Therapy In Today’s Modern World
Conclusion
There are similarities and overlaps between depression and loneliness. Both can contribute to mental health problems and prevent you from wanting to interact with people. You have many ways to deal with depression and loneliness, from getting a pet, spending time with friends and family, or seeing a therapist.
Views expressed in this article are the author’s opinions and do not necessarily reflect the views of Secure Single. It is intended for informational and educational purposes only. It is not investment or financial advice. James Bollen is the author of Thriving Solo: How to Flourish and Live Your Perfect Life (Without A Soulmate). Now available in paperback and for the Kindle on Amazon. Subscribe to Secure Single’s Substack for free!
There are many problems that singles may deal with in their lives. Singles may feel pressure to date and experience stigmas attached to being single. Some may have experience dealing with mental health issues. Mental health can negatively or positively affect your life. There are many ways mental health can negatively affect your life and five ways to deal with mental health.
How Does Mental Health Affect Your Life? 5 Tips To Improve Your Life!
What Is Mental Health?
Mental health is defined as “the condition of being sound mentally and emotionally that is characterized by the absence of mental illness and by adequate adjustment especially as reflected in feeling comfortable about oneself, positive feelings about others, and the ability to meet the demands of daily life.” It is also the “health care dealing with the promotion and improvement of mental health and the treatment of mental illness.”
How Does Mental Health Affect Your Life?
Mental health can affect various areas of your life. Mental health includes your emotional, psychological, and social well-being. Mental health affects how you think, feel, and act in your life. Mental health will also decide how you interact and relate to other people in your life, handle stress, and how you act. It is vital to pay attention to mental health throughout your life, from childhood to adulthood.
When you have bad mental health, you will notice that it will affect your life. In contrast, when you have good mental health, you will feel better about yourself and be better able to achieve the goals that you have set for yourself.
Mental health can affect your life in many ways. Some problems that you may experience due to mental health issues are:
- It can make you feel sad or down
- It can make you unable to think clearly or reduce your ability to concentrate
- Mental health can contribute to excessive fears or worries, or extreme feelings of guilt
- Extreme mood changes from lows to highs and highs to lows
- Withdrawing from friends, family, and activities that you enjoy
- Significant tiredness, low energy, or problems sleeping
- Detachment from reality (delusions), paranoia, or hallucinations
- Inability to cope with daily problems or stress
- Trouble understanding and relating to people and situations
- Problems with drug abuse or alcohol
- Sex drive changes
- Excessive anger, hostility, or violence
- Thoughts of suicide
How Does Mental Health Affect Your Physical Health?
It is often thought that your physical and mental health are two different things. The two connect and affect each other. Your health is the state of the totality of your physical, mental, and social well-being.
Mental illness is a common problem. Did you know that one in five adults has a mental health problem each year? Mental health is often reduced to feeling depressed. However, mental health includes many different types of issues. Some mental health problems may affect your mood, while other mental illnesses will negatively affect your thinking and behavior. Some examples of common mental health problems are depression, anxiety disorders, schizophrenia, eating disorders, bipolar depression, and addictive behaviors.
How Does The Mind Connect To The Body?
How does your mental health affect your physical health? If you have poor mental health, it will affect your ability to do things beneficial for your physical health. It can also affect your ability to make the best decisions for your health. Your mental health can also affect your ability to deal with chronic illnesses.
When you intentionally or unintentionally neglect your mental health, it can lead to serious health consequences in your life. Some examples of how your mental health can negatively lead to awful health consequences are:
- Heart disease
- High blood pressure
- Weakened immune system
- Asthma
- Obesity
- Gastronomical illness
- Loneliness
- Drinking too much and drug abuse
- Suicide
Did you know that depression can cause fatigue, insomnia, and increased sensitivity to aches and pains due to abnormal function of the neurotransmitters in your brain?
5 Ways How You Can Improve Your Mental Health
The first way is that you can eat a healthy diet. The typical Western diet consists of a diet full of highly processed, high-calorie, and low-nutrient foods, which increase anxiety and depression. Avoid missing meals. When you skip a meal, it can lead to fatigue and an unhealthy amount of snacking during the day. You can eat more fruits, vegetables, nuts, whole grains, healthy fats and fish, and lean protein into your diet. A few common diets are the Mediterranean Diet, Keto Diet, Paleo Diet, and the Low Carb Diet.
The second way is to start to exercise regularly. When you begin to exercise regularly by going for walks or going to the gym, you will feel better. Exercise can also help you feel better in your daily life. Along with losing weight by doing cardio, lifting weights, or combining both, your brain releases endorphins and serotonin that can help decrease anxiety and depression.
The third way is to maintain a steady sleep schedule. When you have a poor sleep schedule, and you don’t get enough sleep, it has been found that a lack of sleep leads to depression, anxiety, and stress. The standard recommendation for adults is to get seven or more hours of sleep each night. If you have trouble falling and staying asleep when you go to bed, there are some things that you can be due to improve your sleep. You can relax before you go to bed. Another technique to improve your sleep before you go to bed is to lower or eliminate the amount of caffeine that you drink before you go to bed. You can also take a sleep pill and tea before bed to help you get a more profound and better sleep. The final way is to set a stricter sleep schedule for bedtime and stick to it. When you set yourself a schedule, you will also improve your self-discipline that you can apply to other areas in your life.
The fourth way is to get support. You can get support from your social circle. Your social circle includes your friends, family, and other members of your community. It is vital to have a social circle and a community to help prevent a decline in mental health. While mental health can be challenging to discuss with your peers and those around you, don’t be afraid to talk about it. If you have been isolating yourself rather than interacting with friends and your community, don’t be afraid to be social again.
The fifth way is to see a mental health professional. There are two main types of mental health professionals that you will find when you start to look into mental health. There are mental health professionals who can assess and treat you. The other type of mental health professionals can prescribe medications and monitor your mental health.
Many different mental health professionals do assessments and therapy. These professionals who evaluate and treat are psychologists, counselors, clinicians, therapists, and social workers. The second type of mental health professionals can prescribe and monitor medications you may need or be on to improve your mental health. There are six types of mental health professionals who can prescribe and monitor your medications. They are psychiatrists, psychiatric or mental health nurse practitioners, family nurse practitioners, primary care physicians, and psychiatric pharmacists. Figure out which professional will best meet your mental health needs. It is up to you to figure out the best type of mental health professional to deal with any mental health problems you may have. Don’t delay getting help if you think you need to talk to a professional. A mental health professional will help you work through your mental health issues and deal with your mental health problems.
Conclusion
Your mental health is vital to your health. What you think directly affects your body. If you have negative thoughts, you will be less optimistic about yourself and your future. The bottom line is that your mental health can directly affect your daily life.
Views expressed in this article are the author’s opinions and do not necessarily reflect the views of Secure Single. It is intended for informational and educational purposes only. It is not investment or financial advice. James Bollen is the author of Thriving Solo: How to Flourish and Live Your Perfect Life (Without A Soulmate). Now available in paperback and for the Kindle on Amazon. Subscribe to Secure Single’s Substack for free!
So you’re single with mental health problems, and you feel like you can’t have a relationship. You are certainly not alone. In 2017, there were 46.6 million adults living with mental illness.
That’s almost one in 5 people who struggle (and hopefully learn to manage) their specific condition.
Single With Mental Health Problems? You Can Have A Relationship!
If you’re single with mental health problems, it’s good to know what you’re dealing with.
Mental illness contains a variety of different disorders that can alter the way you feel, the way you think, and the way you behave. Many symptoms can affect singles (and those coupled up).
Here’s a list of symptoms of mental illness.
It comes from the Mayo Clinic.
- Depression, sadness
- Mood swings
- Withdrawal from people and activities
- Detached from the real world (hallucinations, paranoia, or having delusions).
- Can’t deal with stress
- Trouble sleeping or excessive tiredness
- Substantial feelings of shame, guilt or worry
- Alcohol or drug abuse
- Suicidal thoughts
- Change in sex drive
- Feeling angry or violent
- Physical pain that can’t
You could feel down about being single and think you have mental health problems. So if you are struggling with the issues listed above, please seek medical help and talk to a therapist to help you diagnose and manage any mental illness you may have.
How can mental health affect relationships?
If you or your partner have a mental illness, it can, of course, affect relationships. Many people in relationship overlook problems with mental illness. I was in a relationship with someone who had a mental illness, and I was scared to stir up the waters. I didn’t want to get yelled at by my pa, So I let things go and swept them under the rug.
Instead of addressing the problems, I ignored them. This isn’t the way to if you or your partner has a mental illness. So if you’re single with mental health problems and want a relationship, it’s essential for you to feel the best you can before you get into a relationship.
Have a discussion about mental illness at the right time
If you’ve got the bipolar disorder, you don’t need to put this in your Tinder profile. But if you have a few dates with someone and you feel like the relationship is moving forward, it’s essential for you to have a conversation about what you feel like and any issues that can come up.
You might wonder if a person with mental illness can get married
Of course, you can! But if you want to have a good relationship, it’s essential for both of you to be the healthiest you can be while keeping the communication lines wide open.
Mental illness can affect relationships, but you can work things out
But if two people have a commitment and want to work on the relationship, it’s always a good idea to talk to a professional independently and as a couple. If you have a connection and have a spouse, or you have a mental illness, your relationship can end up in divorce if you don’t address problems.
There was a study done on the aspects of marriage, divorce, and mental illness can break up marriages and relationships
That’s why it’s so important to seek help if you have a mental illness
Here are some resources for you if you’re single with mental health issues but want to have a partner
Mental Health America has a wealth of resources. If you are having a crisis, you can call 911, go to the emergency room and you can also call 1-800-273-TALK (8255) and speak to someone at their crisis center.
Here are the types of specialists who also help those with mental illness
Physician assistant (PA). These people are trained to identify mental illness and can treat disorders with the guidance of a physician.
Nurse practitioners have extra training as well to help people with mental illness.
Psychiatrists are doctors who specialize in treating mental health disorders. They prescribe drugs and are trained in counseling.
Social Workers can also help people with mental illness.
Psychologists have a degree in psychology and can counsel people. They do not, however, prescribe drugs.
You can find a truckload of therapists and psychiatrists here at Psychology Today
Summary
I hope this article has given you hope that you can heal yourself and find a great relationship! Mental illness affects many people, and there is someone out there for you.
Lots of Love,
Dina Colada
Views expressed in this article are the author’s opinions and do not necessarily reflect the views of Secure Single. It is intended for informational and educational purposes only. It is not investment or financial advice. James Bollen is the author of Thriving Solo: How to Flourish and Live Your Perfect Life (Without A Soulmate). Now available in paperback and for the Kindle on Amazon. Subscribe to Secure Single’s Substack for free!
The Loneliness Epidemic is a concern as loneliness grows around the world. However, depression is another factor in the Loneliness Epidemic. For those who have depression, it can increase the feeling of loneliness. You must first know your enemy, depression before you can work to defeat it and the Loneliness Epidemic.
Know Your Enemy: Depression
Know Your Enemy
You must know your enemy and yourself before you can successfully defeat your enemy which is depression. Sun Tzu writes in The Art of War “The art of war teaches us to rely not on the likelihood of the enemy’s not coming, but on our own readiness to receive him; not on the chance of his not attacking, but rather on the fact that we have made our position unassailable.” It is in the spirit of The Art of War that you can work to fight against depression. When you are prepared for it and know your enemy depression will be coming, you stand a better chance of defeating it because you have built a position on high ground for battle.
Depression
Depression, clinical depression or major depressive disorder, is common but is a serious mood disorder which includes excessive sadness, loss of interest in enjoyable things, and low motivation. Depression is a mental illness that most people do not understand unless they have it. Depression is much more than feeling sad, or feeling blue, as people many people generalize depression since they do not understand it. Depression can affect your ability to work, sleep, eat, and to perform everyday activities depending on how severe the depression is for someone. When depression is combined with loneliness, it can leave you with a feeling of hopeless and feeling dead in inside because you believe that nobody wants to spend time with you.
Signs of depression can be broken down into psychological and physical categories. Psychological signs that you may have depression include loss of interest in pleasure and activities that you enjoy, slower thinking along with poor concentration, and having thoughts that you are guilty and not worthy which can lead to suicidal thoughts. If you have depression and you experience depression to the point that you have suicidal thoughts than call the Suicide Hotline at 1-800-273-8255. The physical signs that you may have depression are a loss of appetite, loss of interest in sex, loss of energy, loss of sleep and sleep exhaustion or even oversleeping, and also slowed speech and activity.
Defeating The Enemy
Now that you know your enemy depression, it is time to create a battle plan to defeat it. Depression is tricky because it is a chemical imbalance. The first step to beating the depression is working to beat your negative thoughts that tell you that are unworthy by slowly introducing positive thoughts over time. A strategy to do this is Cognitive Behavioral Therapy. Medication along with Electroconvulsive Therapy along with exercise are also options. If you have depression, then look into options and talk to your doctor to better help you to deal with it and to work to resolve it.
Summary
The Loneliness Epidemic is a problem and depression can only make it the epidemic worse for people who have depression. Learn how to fight your enemy by knowing and understanding the root causes of depression and then work to defeat it. Work hard to study and know your enemy because then you can defeat depression in future battles and aim to win the war.
Views expressed in this article are the author’s opinions and do not necessarily reflect the views of Secure Single. It is intended for informational and educational purposes only. It is not investment or financial advice. James Bollen is the author of Thriving Solo: How to Flourish and Live Your Perfect Life (Without A Soulmate). Now available in paperback and for the Kindle on Amazon. Subscribe to Secure Single’s Substack for free!
Depression (and suicide) have been increasing among middle-aged people since 1999.
We’ll take a look at the unique mental health challenges of midlife concerning depression and 5 steps to cope with sadness, anxiety, and loss.
Last month, both fashion designer Kate Spade, 55, and celebrity chef/travel documentarian Anthony Bourdain, 61, committed suicide by hanging. News spread via traditional and social media, igniting a conversation about depression during midlife.
Depression In Ageing Singles: 5 Steps To Cope
The Center for Disease Control has reported a 30 percent increase in suicides in half of US states (1999 through 2015) and in 2016, close to 45,000 Americans died from suicide, which ranks among the top 10 causes of death in the U.S.
And the fastest growing demographic? Middle-aged Americans. Behavioral scientist Deborah Stone, who authored the CDC report noted the 45-64 age group makes up the largest proportion of the increase in suicides.
What’s driving this increase in suicide among midlife adults? And what can we do to cope with depression during midlife?
Licensed psychotherapist Stacy Kaiser, Editor-at-Large for Live Happy Magazine, says midlife is a time marked by many transitions, which may include changing relationships, such as divorce or loss of spouse, and for parents, less time spent with children. During midlife, many feel anxious about finances, aging, and unmet expectations.
Divorce and loss of a partner may increase these feelings, especially when the circumstances were unwanted or unplanned. “People are worried about the future; now, you’re not sure how you’re going to manage, which can cause a crisis,” explains Kaiser.
For the newly single, there may be anxieties about grey hairs, extra weight, and wrinkles if they consider re-entering the dating scene. “You’re not 20 anymore,’ says Kaiser. “You have aches and pains, less energy. It’s harder to lose weight and to keep it off. People have body image issues.”
The transitions of midlife are inevitable, as are feelings that may include anxieties about the future and sadness about changing circumstances, as well as depression. However, there are steps you can take to help you cope, says Kaiser.
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- Support: Surround yourself with people who have been there and who are not critical but supportive of what you’re going through. Look for an online support group.
- Reconnect with Your Passion: If you’ve stopped doing what you once loved, pursue those interests. Find a few single friends in similar circumstances if you prefer not to explore on your own. Finances an issue? Look for activities that don’t cost too much. Pursue fun activities that once gave you pleasure to combat a crisis.
- Set Goals. These should be long- and short-term. You don’t have to go it alone. Consult with a financial planner or a fitness trainer. Make tweaks and adjustments so change are more comfortable. Spend quality time with your kids or friends.
- Glass Half-Full. Try not to be the face of doom and gloom. Focus on what is working and on your positive attributes. Spend time with friends who are less critical. If you need a boost, find a professional therapist or coach to help you.
- Face Your Feelings. Do give yourself time for an “ugly cry” or to release anger. Find someone you can trust. We spend lots of time trying to put on a happy face but it’s okay to be sad, angry, hurt, or scared.
Summary
Midlife, especially after significant changes like divorce or loss of a partner, can be challenging. Moving through transitions, coping with depression, as well as the stresses, sadness, and worries about the future can be easier if you find people to support you and reconnect with the activities that once made you happy.
Set goals, whether professional, financial, or fitness, and celebrate successes. Express gratitude for what’s going well in your life but don’t feel guilty about an occasional bout of sadness, fear, hurt, or anger.