The holiday season is the time of year where you may travel to see family or visit a significant other’s family. The bottom line is that the holidays bring on additional expenses when you are in a relationship. Here are five ways being single during the holiday season saves you money.
Money
It is no surprise that the holidays push for people to buy their friends, family, and significant others gifts. Seasonal holiday jobs appear during this season so that people can make an additional income to spend on gifts during the holidays. This holiday season save money instead of spending it on a significant other.
Travel
Travel is another major expense during the holiday seasons. Depending on your work schedule and your relationship with your family, you may not be able to or want to go back home for the holidays. While your family may be understanding, a significant other would put more pressure on you to visit their family during the holidays so that you can meet their family. The cost of going home during the holidays or visiting a significant other’s family include transportation to and from airports food and drink at the airport terminal, and flight tickets. There should be no pressure to travel during the hectic holiday season and being single gives you the opportunity to make your own decisions about where you want to spend your holidays.
Dining Out
Relationships are expensive, especially dating relationships, because you have to pay for another person when you dine out. It is no longer a meal and a drink. It is now two meals and two drinks. Food and drink quickly add up when going out. But if you went home with your significant other for the holidays, they want to take you to their favorite places in their city. This means that you will need to include additional money in your holiday budget to dine out with your significant other. However, by being single during the holidays, you only have to pay for yourself when you go out. If you want to save money, you can cut back on going out and put it towards gifts or put the money that would originally go towards dining out into your savings account.
Gifts
Gifts can be expensive depending on what type of gifts you like to give people. If you have a significant other who you want to impress at Christmas, you may buy them some nice jewelry or bottle of their favorite spirit. While some families want to cut back costs of gifts by doing a white elephant gift exchange, you may not be so lucky with your significant other’s family. Being single means that you can save money again by having to get gifts for your one family instead of for a significant other and their family too.
Holiday Parties
Holiday parties start around Halloween and peak during New Year’s, but won’t end until after Valentine’s Day. That means you may be go to parties with friends or a significant other at least once for each holiday. Depending on the type of party and where it is located, parties may require purchasing tickets in advance and events for holiday parties can get expensive. Instead of being pressured to go to holiday parties and spend money that you really don’t want to because of a significant other, embrace being single this holiday season and go to holiday parties that you want to or save money by not going to any parties.
These are the five most common ways that you will spend money during the holidays. If you are single and are not obligated to visit a significant other’s family this holiday season, be thankful because not being in a relationship is saving you money. Is being single during the holidays starting to look better now? Happy holidays and enjoy being single this holiday season!
Views expressed in this article are the author’s opinions and do not necessarily reflect the views of Secure Single. It is intended for informational and educational purposes only. It is not investment or financial advice. James Bollen is the author of Thriving Solo: How to Flourish and Live Your Perfect Life (Without A Soulmate). Now available in paperback and for the Kindle on Amazon. Subscribe to Secure Single’s Substack for free!
Single and Lonely? How To Deal
“If you make friends with yourself you will never be alone...” Maxwell Maltz
You’re single and proud of it. While all your friends are out there getting married, starting families, and pairing up, you’re left standing there alone as the free bird. It should feel great, but for some reason, you may feel very feel more alone than ever. One thing you need to know is that you’re not alone.Companionship is great, but only if you’ve taken the time to truly love and accept yourself first and foremost can you then fully share yourself with another person. Too often, people rush into a relationship for the sake of having one. If you’re a free bird and feeling lonely, the best thing you can do is to find the root cause. Take your time in building the relationship you have with yourself. When you become solid with how you feel about yourself, in a positive manner, then you will watch as outside relationships with other people start to grow and become deep and meaningful – with family, friends, and coworkers.
Love will come when you are ready, and if you are out there looking for love, you will only attract the wrong people. When you feel most lonely, follow these steps to lead a more fulfilling life as a single person. Just as you start loving and enjoying your life to the fullest, you may stumble upon the next love of your life.
Here are 4 things to do when you feel lonely:
Attend Meetups
If you live in a city, you will most likely have Meetup groups in the area. Meetups are a great way to break out of your isolation and loneliness. Find at one or two meetups you can attend in a week. Search for groups that are relative to your likes and interests. Being a part of a group with similar interests makes it easy to find a connection with at least two or three people. With common interests, you’re bound to make friends. This is a great cure for loneliness. Go out with a positive attitude that you will make friends wherever you go!
Volunteer
It may be the last thing on your mind when you feel lonely and are comfy at home in your pj’s, however, a recent study noted in the Harvard Women’s Health revealed that volunteering helps people who donate their time feel more socially connected, ultimately warding off depression and loneliness. Giving back to the community is a great way to boost your happiness levels, and can help you make great connections with other people. Working with others builds rapport, and strengthens relationships. You might make a handful of friends at your next volunteering event! Simply Google volunteer opportunities in your area, or ask a friend who volunteers to let them join you. You always have options.
Adopt A Pet
Having a pet at home can be a great source of companionship. Dogs and cats are among the most popular domesticated pets to own. Not only are they great company, but most pets will love you unconditionally. After a long day, coming home to a pet can help reduce stress levels, and lend a loving and non-judgmental ear to listen – even though they may not understand what you are saying. Getting your words out to a pet can reduce your stress levels, simply because you are letting everything out that you have kept bottled up. Pets also take a lot of dedication and are a huge responsibility. Having to take care of a pet will keep you busy at home, which means your mind will have a moment to rest from the daily activities, and sit back to make some food for your pet. Your mind will have a moment to relax and switch hears while you are taking your pet out for a walk.
Realize That Not Everyone Is In A Relationship
After scrolling through the 5th Facebook post in a row about another wedding engagement, know that not everyone is getting married. According to Huffington Post, the average age of people getting married is from 27 – 29 years old, (http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2013/11/14/married-young_n_4227924.html). If you’re in your 20-somethings, don’t feel pressured. You definitely have the rest of your life ahead of you, and if you’re not ready to commit to something, that’s completely okay. You should always go forward in relationships at a pace you are comfortable with.
There are many remedies to help yourself from feeling lonely. If you don’t have a special relationship with someone yet, then continue to love your life – though, make sure you love and enjoy your life. Read the above statements, and apply some into your life. Positive people are attractive, needy people are not. Take this time while you are single to become the most interesting person you can be! You are not alone, to take your friends with you. The only remedy to change a current situation is to take action. Live your life to the fullest as a Secure Single, and feel good about who you are. While you are living your life, you may just meet the person of your dreams.
Views expressed in this article are the author’s opinions and do not necessarily reflect the views of Secure Single. It is intended for informational and educational purposes only. It is not investment or financial advice. James Bollen is the author of Thriving Solo: How to Flourish and Live Your Perfect Life (Without A Soulmate). Now available in paperback and for the Kindle on Amazon. Subscribe to Secure Single’s Substack for free!
5 Ways To Celebrate Valentine’s Day Single
Valentine’s Day can be a painful “Singles Awareness Day” for the many who are not with a significant other. In fact, approximately 150 million Valentine’s Day cards are exchanged annually, making Valentine’s Day the second most popular card-sending holiday after Christmas.
It you’re single, understandably you might feel left out while you’re paired-up friends and family go out on date night to celebrate 15+ years of marriage, or their 7 year dating anniversary.
So how does a single person celebrate the famous international holiday in a non-traditional way, and walk away at the end of the day feeling a better and more confident person?
Here are 5 Ways To Celebrate Valentine’s Day as a Single Person:
- Treat Yourself
Take a moment to do something nice for yourself. While couples are out on dates spending a small fortune, take time to do something that is relaxing and pampering, or go purchase a gift you have desired. If you like having your nails done, head out to the local spa and do a mani-pedi, or get a facial. If you work out a lot, sign up for a massage. Take yourself shopping for a nice outfit you can wear on the town with your friends. Buy that video game set you’ve been eyeing. If you are feeling brave, order flowers to be sent to yourself at the office. You don’t have to say who they are from!
- Go out with your single friends. No one has to be alone on Valentine’s day. Just because it’s generally for people who are ‘in love’, doesn’t mean you can’t have fun with a good group of people. Take your single friends out to a karaoke bar, and sing your heart out. Nothing feels better than being out with good people who understand you. Being single gives you the opportunity to build great relationships with your friends. You have more time to do so when you are single – so give it a go!
- Remember that there is nothing wrong with you. Some people choose to be single, and some people have consequently become single. Take this moment to be proud of who you are, and remind yourself how beautiful of a person you are. Remember that you have talents to contribute to the world, and simply because you are single does not make you any less of a person. Build up your confidence, and feel good about yourself.
- Watch a romantic comedy on Netflix. Yes, this can make you more aware of your singleness, but it doesn’t have to. A funny romantic comedy can remind you about the positives of being single. At least you aren’t dating that lady next door with all the cats! Take a moment to laugh, and reflect on your life. Sometimes, being single can open up some of the best opportunities life has to offer. You have more freedom to pick up and start a new chapter anywhere you like, there are no strings. So sit back, and enjoy a laugh with a romantic comedy. There is no judging for Netflix and chill either – so have fun!
- Stay in and bake some goodies. Staying in every now and then can be a positive experience. Why not bake grandma’s secret chocolate cookie recipe? Studies show that cooking actually increases your happiness level, according to research reported by Psychology Today. If you’ve got the Valentine’s blues, bust out your cooking gear. In addition, your home will smell nice with freshly baked cookies.
This Valentine’s Day don’t feel left out if you’ve got no date. There are a lot of freedoms and positive aspects about being single. Celebrate this holiday in style, and be proud of your current relationship status. There is nothing better than being confident, especially when you are a Secure Single.
Views expressed in this article are the author’s opinions and do not necessarily reflect the views of Secure Single. It is intended for informational and educational purposes only. It is not investment or financial advice. James Bollen is the author of Thriving Solo: How to Flourish and Live Your Perfect Life (Without A Soulmate). Now available in paperback and for the Kindle on Amazon. Subscribe to Secure Single’s Substack for free!
Valentine’s Day is a day that modern culture has adopted to celebrate romantic love between couples who are dating, who are partners, or who are married. Despite society only acknowledging romantic and erotic love on Valentine’s Day, philia and agape are other types of love that provide single people an opportunity to celebrate Valentine’s Day this Sunday. Since there are other types of love besides erotic love, here are ten ways that single people can celebrate the single life and being single this Valentine’s Day.
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- Go out for drinks or get dinner with your best friend or a group of friends to celebrate philia.
- Study the different theories and types of love that philosophers, theologians, and socialists discuss and debate. Contemplate love with a fuller meaning and discuss with a friend or write a page about your finding and, possibly, new discoveries about the different types of love that Valentine’s Day fails to celebrate.
- Look into ways that you can give back to your community.
- Study and seek to attain the true eros that Plato considered by contemplating the nature of the Theory of Forms and the implications of it in life.
- Call you family members and tell them that you appreciate them, or at the very least try to reconnect and catch up with them.
- Consider being more respectful and showing agape love to people who you greatly disagree with in the heated areas of politics, religion, and ethics and decide to show them love. This will challenge yourself and will allow you to grow as an individual.
- Be active and go work out or try to get in touch with the beauty of nature by doing an outdoors activity.
- Do not feel sorry for yourself for not having a boyfriend or a girlfriend on Valentine’s Day and sit at home eating ice cream in your bed, couch, or living area.
- Acknowledge the fact that we are all born into this world alone and we will leave this world by dying alone.
- Do not read or watch any based upon Nicholas Sparks or romantic comedies.
This Valentine’s Day, celebrate the different types of love as a single person. Celebrate the love of friendship. Celebrate the love of community. Celebrate the love of humanity. Do not only think of Valentine’s Day as a couples’ holiday.
Views expressed in this article are the author’s opinions and do not necessarily reflect the views of Secure Single. It is intended for informational and educational purposes only. It is not investment or financial advice. James Bollen is the author of Thriving Solo: How to Flourish and Live Your Perfect Life (Without A Soulmate). Now available in paperback and for the Kindle on Amazon. Subscribe to Secure Single’s Substack for free!
The English language is an imprecise language compared to other languages, especially classical languages such as Greek. Love in the English language could mean a range of things from loving one’s wife or husband to loving chocolate. English does not clarify what type of love a person means when one says “love.” The Internet Encyclopedia of Philosophy expounds on this problem by explaining that because love is “broadly defined and hence imprecise, which generates first order problems of definition and meaning, which are resolved to some extent by the reference to the Greek terms, eros, philia, and agape.” Society celebrates Valentine’s Day as a day devoted to romantic love while dismissing philia and agape love in favor of erotic love.
Erotic love is the type of love commonly associated with love by modern society and the type of love that Valentine’s Day celebrates today. Erotic love, or eros, IEP explains “refer[s] to that part of love constituting a passionate, intense desire for something; it is often referred to as a sexual desire, hence the modern notion of “erotic” (Greek erotikos)”. However, the modern notion of erotic love is not what Plato had in mind in Phaedrus. When Plato talks about erotikos in Phaedrus he describes a love that is universally known by humanity and transcends a particular beauty of an individual. Practically, this means that an individual’s particular beauty points to the higher form of Beauty that is in the world of Forms or Ideas following Plato’s Theory of Forms. However, Aristotle’s conception of romantic love recognizes that there is a “special love two people find in each other’s virtues-one soul and two bodies” (Ibid). It is Aristotle’s version of romantic love between two people that is understood today by modern society and the kind that is being celebrated this Valentine’s Day. For most singles in the state of singlehood, romantic and erotic love is the type of love that one does not normally experience in life until a single person transitions from singlehood to a romantic relationship.
The type of love most singles experience is what the Greeks called philia. The classic Greek philosopher Aristotle elaborates upon philia in Rhetoric noting that “things that cause friendship are: doing kindnesses; doing them unasked; and not proclaiming the fact when they are done” (Rhetoric, II. 4). The love of philia is associated with appreciating ones’ friends, family, loyalties, and different communities that one is involved with in life. This means that there are different types and different levels of philia from having best friends, to family, and to professional work relationships. For single people, phila will be the most common love that singles will experience during single life. This Valentine’s Day, celebrate philia love with your fellow single friends by doing something different than what the modern holiday celebrates this Sunday.
Agape is the final type of love that the classical world separated from eros and philia. While philia distinguishes between different levels of friendships between people and eros is romantic –and devoted love to ideals—love between lovers or partners, agape “refers to the paternal love of God for man and of man for God” (IEP). Agape love is a universal love that applies to all of humanity. This is the Golden Rule to “do unto others as you would have them do unto you” and to love your enemies. This incorporates personal self-love with loving others. Everyone is capable and able to experience agape love by either a relationship with a spiritual entity or by showing love to all of humanity. Single people and married people can share and grow in agape love between friends and with people that they have never met as well as by showing respect between those who are single and those who are married. Love your neighbor as you love yourself.
Remember that Valentine’s Day only celebrates one type of love in a very narrow sense: eros. Single people should be able to celebrate the holiday too by celebrating philia love with their friends and family. Valentine’s Day should also be used to celebrate universal humanity and to apply the Golden Rule of to love others, and your enemies, as you love yourself on the holiday. These three distinct loves are often forgotten because the English language is imprecise. Reconsider the love that society celebrates on Valentine’s Day and celebrate philia or agape love instead this Sunday.