There are many reasons why people are single. Some love being single. Some really just want to be in a relationship. For singles who desire a relationship; but who are currently single, they are single by circumstance. There is nothing wrong with being single and those are single by circumstance should wait until the right person comes along to date again.
Being single is often portrayed as being sad and lonely by the media and society. The single life’s values include independence and flexibility. Those who are single by circumstance can use the single life as a time of personal self-discovery, to learn more about themselves, and to prepare themselves for a future partner. While you are single, learn to take care of yourself and how to do basic home essentials from shopping to cleaning the house. This and other basic life skills that will better prepare you to assist your partner with household chores.
Those who are single by circumstance should take the opportunity of being single to learn more about themselves and go on life journey of self-discovery. The journey of self-discovery will allow singles to learn more about their likes, dislikes, and their life values. After you know what those you, you can determine if you are ready and find a compatible partner and want to no longer be single. This journey of self-discovery will help single prepare to find a compatible partner and they will know more about who they are as a person and mature in preparation for a potential life partner. Embrace your time as a single and prepare yourself for the one. Ultimately “the one” does not exist.
Soulmates are a myth. There are no soulmates. It is best to invest in yourself. If you choose to eventually date and marry, recognize that there is no perfect partner or spouse. “The one” is an illusion.
The single life provides flexibility and freedom. Singles can travel and explore the world while they are single by circumstance. Singles can also save, invest, and develop their professional skills to be able to provide for a partner and possibly a family. The single life is a great time to gain confidence and to build social skills so that you can talk and read nonverbal signals well from potential partners at social events. For those who are single by circumstance, take the opportunity and single life values to grow and mature in preparation for dating and finding a partner.
Ultimately, there is nothing wrong with being single and singles should not feel pressure to jump back into the dating scene. Those who are single by circumstance should be patient, focus on their career, and develop themselves and enter the dating scene only when they are ready and able to commit to a potential partner. Until that time comes, singles should enjoy the single life and not view being single as a negative life experience. Being single has plenty to offer and those who are single by circumstance can take advantage of all that the single life offers while single.
Views expressed in this article are the author’s opinions and do not necessarily reflect the views of Secure Single. It is intended for informational and educational purposes only. It is not investment or financial advice. James Bollen is the author of Thriving Solo: How to Flourish and Live Your Perfect Life (Without A Soulmate). Now available in paperback and for the Kindle on Amazon. Subscribe to Secure Single’s Substack for free!
Single and Lonely? How To Deal
“If you make friends with yourself you will never be alone...” Maxwell Maltz
You’re single and proud of it. While all your friends are out there getting married, starting families, and pairing up, you’re left standing there alone as the free bird. It should feel great, but for some reason, you may feel very feel more alone than ever. One thing you need to know is that you’re not alone.Companionship is great, but only if you’ve taken the time to truly love and accept yourself first and foremost can you then fully share yourself with another person. Too often, people rush into a relationship for the sake of having one. If you’re a free bird and feeling lonely, the best thing you can do is to find the root cause. Take your time in building the relationship you have with yourself. When you become solid with how you feel about yourself, in a positive manner, then you will watch as outside relationships with other people start to grow and become deep and meaningful – with family, friends, and coworkers.
Love will come when you are ready, and if you are out there looking for love, you will only attract the wrong people. When you feel most lonely, follow these steps to lead a more fulfilling life as a single person. Just as you start loving and enjoying your life to the fullest, you may stumble upon the next love of your life.
Here are 4 things to do when you feel lonely:
Attend Meetups
If you live in a city, you will most likely have Meetup groups in the area. Meetups are a great way to break out of your isolation and loneliness. Find at one or two meetups you can attend in a week. Search for groups that are relative to your likes and interests. Being a part of a group with similar interests makes it easy to find a connection with at least two or three people. With common interests, you’re bound to make friends. This is a great cure for loneliness. Go out with a positive attitude that you will make friends wherever you go!
Volunteer
It may be the last thing on your mind when you feel lonely and are comfy at home in your pj’s, however, a recent study noted in the Harvard Women’s Health revealed that volunteering helps people who donate their time feel more socially connected, ultimately warding off depression and loneliness. Giving back to the community is a great way to boost your happiness levels, and can help you make great connections with other people. Working with others builds rapport, and strengthens relationships. You might make a handful of friends at your next volunteering event! Simply Google volunteer opportunities in your area, or ask a friend who volunteers to let them join you. You always have options.
Adopt A Pet
Having a pet at home can be a great source of companionship. Dogs and cats are among the most popular domesticated pets to own. Not only are they great company, but most pets will love you unconditionally. After a long day, coming home to a pet can help reduce stress levels, and lend a loving and non-judgmental ear to listen – even though they may not understand what you are saying. Getting your words out to a pet can reduce your stress levels, simply because you are letting everything out that you have kept bottled up. Pets also take a lot of dedication and are a huge responsibility. Having to take care of a pet will keep you busy at home, which means your mind will have a moment to rest from the daily activities, and sit back to make some food for your pet. Your mind will have a moment to relax and switch hears while you are taking your pet out for a walk.
Realize That Not Everyone Is In A Relationship
After scrolling through the 5th Facebook post in a row about another wedding engagement, know that not everyone is getting married. According to Huffington Post, the average age of people getting married is from 27 – 29 years old, (http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2013/11/14/married-young_n_4227924.html). If you’re in your 20-somethings, don’t feel pressured. You definitely have the rest of your life ahead of you, and if you’re not ready to commit to something, that’s completely okay. You should always go forward in relationships at a pace you are comfortable with.
There are many remedies to help yourself from feeling lonely. If you don’t have a special relationship with someone yet, then continue to love your life – though, make sure you love and enjoy your life. Read the above statements, and apply some into your life. Positive people are attractive, needy people are not. Take this time while you are single to become the most interesting person you can be! You are not alone, to take your friends with you. The only remedy to change a current situation is to take action. Live your life to the fullest as a Secure Single, and feel good about who you are. While you are living your life, you may just meet the person of your dreams.
Views expressed in this article are the author’s opinions and do not necessarily reflect the views of Secure Single. It is intended for informational and educational purposes only. It is not investment or financial advice. James Bollen is the author of Thriving Solo: How to Flourish and Live Your Perfect Life (Without A Soulmate). Now available in paperback and for the Kindle on Amazon. Subscribe to Secure Single’s Substack for free!
Romance is heralded by poets, musicians, and in film and television as truly heavenly because you are able to spend the rest of your life with the one person whom you love. The problem with how love is portrayed in media and society is that is depicted as each person saving the other. It is also further depicted as the emotional and physical act of erotic love is all that is essential in life. However, if love is merely emotional and enjoying sex and everyone eventually is going to die alone, is love useful? Romantic love is useless because you only are able to enjoy the presence of the other without any truly beneficial outcomes in life.
What are the benefits of being in a romantic relationship with a significant other? When you go out now, you now have to pay for two people. You are now pay two times more than you would normally pay by living and going out by yourself as a single person. When couples also cook for two people they will also spend more money at the grocery store since they must buy more groceries compared to single people. If you go out with friends as a single person, you will normally split the check or pay for what you ordered. How about preparing for the future? Couples now have to plan for the future of a minimum of two people (if they wish to have children or not). A single person only has to save, invest, and plan for the future for oneself. Romantic love only deals with the needs of each other without practical benefits. Love is useless because it is an ideal.
From only examining those two examples above briefly, are they any advantages of being in a serious relationship rather than being staying single? It appears that there really is no real advantage. Romantic love, essentially, only provides someone whom you know intimately in many ways without providing any real benefits for life of the moment. Romantic love is useless because it unattainable and is not concerned with practical matters.
Ultimately, love is useless for many reason. Popular culture and society continue to place romantic love and marriage on a pedestal for the detriment of singles. Romantic love is useless because it does not provide any utility for the people in a relationship.