I’m sure you’ve heard the Jess C Scott saying, “Friends are the family you choose.” We’ve all heard it because if you have a good friend or two, you know the feeling. You put yourself out there for them, and they would do the same.
Friends Are The Family You Choose
Family isn’t always blood
Even though your ancestors DNA runs deep in your veins, real friend’s souls are connected to yours. It’s like they’re in your blood. When you put your friend as your “in case of emergency,” contact you know they’re a keeper.
Real friends want to help you
A true friend wants to pick you up in the middle of the night when your car breaks down. And not because they’re obligated. It’s just what friends do. That’s the friends are the family you choose meaning.
The best thing about friends is that you don’t have to be friends with them if you don’t want to be. You can stroll on down the path without them, but there’s not much fun when you go it alone.
But the choice is yours to have friends or not.
I choose friends
The good kind. Not the bad kind.
The best kinds of friends don’t pressure you to do things you don’t want to do.
One of my best friends was buying a new car. So we went to the dealer together. I wanted to make sure she made it there in her black sedan that had a leaky gas tank and a passenger door you had to open from the outside.
On that 32 mile drive, she gets out of her car at the toll booth. Smoke was rolling out from under the hood.
So I moved toward her car, and pushed it to the side of the road with my sleek “modern.” 2010 Honda CRV. At least my baby could push another little car 47 feet up the way into the grass.
I do have one thing to say. It was not a perfect situation
Even if things aren’t going great and you still show up— That is a sign of true friendship. You stick through the rough patches.
I was feeling hella stressed out
I had work deadlines that were due that day. In fact, in a few hours (this is one of those articles). And on the way to the dealer, I had also gotten a message about some major typos in one social media post and an article.
My anal Virgo tendencies made me feel like I could never write again. The work wasn’t up to someone else’s (nor my own) standards. I could feel the blood pulsing in my veins.
I was managing the overwhelming stress to the best of my abilities
So needless to say I was a bit checked out during the entire car buying celebration. I tried to give the occasional smile and head nod to her and the salesman. I did at least keep a panic attack at bay.
But I had my own writer armageddon stuff to deal with
I was busy on my phone trying to wrap my head around the social media post that I created. I quoted “Oparah,” instead of Oprah. I spelled the name of one of the most famous women in history wrong for God sake.
And I know how to say spell Oprah. That’s the frustrating part
How could I be happy for my friend while I had this Instagram-shattering typo that I currently did not have the power to change?
I needed that damn password (but I didn’t have it). So all of Instagram was there to witness the embarrassment of my client’s misspelling of Oprah. This extra “a” was detrimental to a simple 1080×1080 pixels turquoise quote box.
Oh, you can bet people messaged the business telling them the proper spelling of the women who would have a good chance of getting elected for President.
How embarrassing
You might as well just kill me now. I hope you understand sarcasm while you read this because I’m a very satisfied and stable person 99.97 percent of the time.
Summary
But I digress. I felt like my career as a writer was crumbling faster than an improperly baked shortbread cookie. But there I was. With my friend because she is my friend. I thought she needed me. And she would have done the same thing.
Lots of Love,
Dina Colada
Views expressed in this article are the author’s opinions and do not necessarily reflect the views of Secure Single. It is intended for informational and educational purposes only. It is not investment or financial advice. James Bollen is the author of Thriving Solo: How to Flourish and Live Your Perfect Life (Without A Soulmate). Now available in paperback and for the Kindle on Amazon. Subscribe to Secure Single’s Substack for free!
I talked about feeling old, and now I want to move onto the next step. Whether you’re 29 or 87, it’s always good to learn how to look younger and feel great! You can!
How To Look Younger Than Your Age Without Plastic Surgery
So, you want to know more about how to look younger (and feel younger), besides not telling people your real age?
First, what are some questions you might have about how to feel young again? When people get older, many of us question ways to turn back time and feel like a kid again. Like How can I look younger at 40 naturally? How to feel young again? How can I feel younger and have more energy? We’re going to cover some of these wrinkle busters right now!
How can I look younger at 40 naturally?
Keeping your age under wraps was my first tip. That is one of the best-kept secrets. When nobody knows your age, they won’t say things like, “Someone her age shouldn’t wear a skirt that short.” Or “She looks good for her age.” Or even worse, “She’s only 32? Wow, I thought she was at least in her forties.”
So when you’re single, it’s good for your self-esteem to feel good about yourself. Many women go under the knife to have “perfection.” I want you to feel good about the way you look and feel. But plastic surgery has a lot of fo risks associated with it.
If you want to look younger there are common risks with plastic surgery
According to Stanford Health Care here’s a bulleted list
- Difficulty with wound healing
- Bruising
- Excess bleeding
- Infection
- Anesthesia issues
- Surgery problems
There are other options to look and feel younger without going under the knife.
Another way to feel young again is to drink water (and lots of it). UWHealth states that your skin is an organ that needs fluid. Duh. I thought this was a no-brainer. I met a college girl who was going to go buy concealer (because she had bags under her eyes). We talked about water. She said, “I don’t like to drink it much because I have to pee all the time.”
Yeah, maybe you’ll be an inconvenience for a couple of minutes to walk down the hall. But your body will appreciate the support you give it with some cold H2O. Bags be gone!
What else can you do to look younger?
When you shower or take a bath, your pores are more open, and your skin allows better absorption. So after you’re finished apply moisturizer ASAP. You might need to test several products out until you find the one that is best for your skin. I love to use all natural products personally. In my opinion, I look and feel younger because I keep my body hydrated 95 percent of the time.
What happens if you’re not hydrated?
Wrinkles. Dry skin. Tight skin. Flakes. Ick. Keep yourself hydrated, please :).
Summary
Water also helps remove toxins from your body, absorption of nutrients, and keeps your blood moving. The Cleveland Clinic says if you feel tired or low on energy, not drinking the recommended 8 glasses a day. Water will keep your body feeling great! So whenever you want to grab that soda, opt for the healthier choice. Your body will thank you for it!
Lots of Love,
Dina Colada
Views expressed in this article are the author’s opinions and do not necessarily reflect the views of Secure Single. It is intended for informational and educational purposes only. It is not investment or financial advice. James Bollen is the author of Thriving Solo: How to Flourish and Live Your Perfect Life (Without A Soulmate). Now available in paperback and for the Kindle on Amazon. Subscribe to Secure Single’s Substack for free!
The Loneliness Epidemic is a growing problem as people are becoming increasingly lonely in the United States and around the world. While the problem of loneliness is a problem which people face whether they are single, in a relationship, or married there are ways to deal with loneliness. These are twelve tips to help those who are dealing with loneliness on how to beat loneliness and the Loneliness Epidemic.
12 Ways How To Beat Loneliness And The Loneliness Epidemic
How Singles Can Beat Loneliness
Accept Loneliness
The first step with anything is to accept it. Accept that loneliness is real. It is also important to know that loneliness and social isolation increases your risk of an early death according to studies by 50%.
Recognize Loneliness
Learn to recognize the different characteristics which are associated with loneliness. You are able to feel loneliness. Loneliness will ruin your sleep and sleep cycle. Loneliness can also lead you down a path of bad and self-destructive habits. It can also affect your mental health.
Nurture Relationships
Relationships can be difficult since your friends work and may have a different schedule, but work to schedule a time to meet with a friend. You can do this by reaching out to your friends to schedule a time to meet for coffee, lunch, drinks, or to do something that you both enjoy doing together. You can also start conversations with and connect with your neighbors where you live. You can also find like-minded people who share the same interests as you by looking for community by joining a group or club.
Practice Positive Self-Talk and Self-Love
Talking and thinking negatively about yourself will only increase loneliness and not help you feel better as a person. Learn to love yourself and to accept who you are as a person.
Find a Hobby
Find something that you enjoy doing and focus on doing that when you are feeling lonely. There are a number of different things that you can do as a hobby. If you don’t have one and don’t know where to start, begin here.
Focus On Others
Focus outwardly on the needs of others rather than on yourself. This will help to refocus you towards other people and to be better tuned to what people are saying through their body language, conversation, and their aspirations.
Find A Community
If you do not have a community, then you should find one because it is an important way to beat loneliness.
Be Persistent
Be persistent in working to get together with friends, community, volunteering, and getting outside to interact with other people. Make this a goal to work towards to help to defeat the feelings of loneliness.
Always Show Up
Always show up to events that you plan to attend that are of interest to you. Do not miss an event because you do not feel well because that feeling is what you are working to get past. Show up to meet new people and to interact with others.
Volunteer
A great way to work to get over loneliness is to give time back to your community by volunteering. Find an organization that you support and volunteer to help the organization to achieve its goals while helping your community.
Kindness
Practice kindness to others. This will take the inward focus on yourself and direct it outwards towards other people. This will help to make you feel less lonely because you are not solely focused on yourself but on others.
Seek Professional Help
If your loneliness is especially bad and you suffer from other mental heal issues such as depression, then seek professional help. A professional counselor or therapist can better help you to work towards overcoming isolation, loneliness, and depression. It will take work but it will help you in the long run.
Summary
The Loneliness Epidemic is a problem despite being an age of constant connection with social media. If you are suffering from loneliness, whether you are single or in a relationship, practice these twelve tips and consider a counselor or therapist if it is bad enough that it affects your daily life. Loneliness is, unfortunately, common today so do not be ashamed if you suffer from loneliness because you are not the only one today.
Views expressed in this article are the author’s opinions and do not necessarily reflect the views of Secure Single. It is intended for informational and educational purposes only. It is not investment or financial advice. James Bollen is the author of Thriving Solo: How to Flourish and Live Your Perfect Life (Without A Soulmate). Now available in paperback and for the Kindle on Amazon. Subscribe to Secure Single’s Substack for free!
If you’re 30 and feeling old, get over yourself already, you’re not even close. If you’re 60 and feel 30, you should get a molten chocolate cake or a cookie for having that kind of mindset. When it comes to aging, it has so much to do with your thoughts and how you take care of yourself.
30 And Feeling Old Already? Do This Today To Defy Age Forever!
Is 36 years old?
According to YouGov research, 36 years old is the ideal age overall. For wisdom respondents to a survey picked 51 for wisdom and 29 for health. But I wholeheartedly disagree. I believe whatever age you are is the perfect age for you, and no matter your age, you can still feel young. Like the 95-year old woman (who walks with a cane) bungee jumped a whopping 500 feet.
You can’t change your age, so enjoy the next milestone
So you might as well make the best of it. There can be depression about aging and there are things you can do. Before I turned 16 I was counting down the days until I could get the keys and crank out the old maroon Oldsmobile on the highway. I’d say things like only 987 more days to go! I couldn’t wait to slam down that gas pedal and have freedom besides my legs and my BMX bike with no gears. Those hills were a killer. 16 was a big year for me and I still love to drive.
Then the anticipation built for the next big number. 18. This meant becoming an “adult.” I went to a WVU when I was a wee babe of 17, and I wasn’t doing much adulting. I was acting like an unambitious college kid who got her first credit card because there was a free 2-liter of soda involved. That was about my speed.
I wasn’t having old age feelings then (and still don’t)
Next up . . . 21, of course. You know, so I could buy beer. I was living in a party school that usually ranks in the top 5. That happened, and I bought a drink or two and don’t remember much about my 20s. I was thinking up until I was about 36, “When the hell are they going to stop carding me?”
Then I would say, “When are people going to stop carding me at the Discount Den or Krogers?” That happened until I was about 36 and people slowly stopped asking me for my ID. I thought, “Why the hell aren’t people carding men now?” I wanted to be a different age, and it was usually an older age.
Now I’m happy where I am, and still, have that young look (with a few more wrinkles). And I’m OK with that.
How can I defy my age naturally?
The first thing to do is to stop telling people how old you are. It’s none of their business. The worst part of giving away your age is people start aging you. I’m happy being 33 and single, and I hope you are too.
How to look younger at 30, 40, 50 and beyond
Dr. Christiane Northrup talks about never giving up your age on Kate Northrup’s site. Ever since I heard this trick in slowing down the aging process, I feel better than ever before.
I found people online complaining about being 26 years old and feeling like they aged ten years in the past three. So they would feel like they were the ripe old age of 36. Dr. Chrisiane Northup is the go-to expert for women living an ageless life. When people ask me how old I am, I always give the same answer.
I’m 33 every year— My age will never change
It’s going to stay that way. I’ll be 90 years old telling the grey hairs and young whippersnappers how old I’m not. On the flip side, there are 32-year-olds that feel 20. Then there’s another guy that said he started feeling old at the age of 19, and over the hill by age 27. That’s unbelievable! Wait till you’re 80, my man.
Summary
One of my best friends is 60 and is in the best shape of his life. We’re talking riding his bike 100 miles in a day kind of incredible shape. There are things you can do to look and feel younger and I’m going to share those soon. But for today, don’t’ you dare tell anyone how old you are. Your life will be better because of it!
Lots of Love,
Dina Colada
Views expressed in this article are the author’s opinions and do not necessarily reflect the views of Secure Single. It is intended for informational and educational purposes only. It is not investment or financial advice. James Bollen is the author of Thriving Solo: How to Flourish and Live Your Perfect Life (Without A Soulmate). Now available in paperback and for the Kindle on Amazon. Subscribe to Secure Single’s Substack for free!
Colorado is an up and coming state. It has been an important state in the craft beer and distillery movement. It is also a growing city for information technology and startups. It has been ranked among the top ten cities in the nation to live. Denver combines the best of the East Coast and the West with a metropolitan city which has classy cocktail lounges, clubs, and nice restaurants while providing easy access to the mountains for outdoor activities. For singles who enjoy both the city and the mountains, then Denver is a great city for you. This solo travel guide to Denver’s neighborhoods provides an overview of the hottest neighborhoods to check out when you visit.
A Solo Travel Guide To Denver’s Hottest Neighborhoods
Denver’s Hottest Neighborhoods
Highlands
The Highlands is where singles want to go if they want to experience the trendy Denver neighborhood. It features hip restaurants, renovated houses and bungalows, and Little Man Ice Cream which is a Denver staple during the warm weather months. Denver Beer Co is located in the Highlands, try the Graham Cracker Porter, as well as a three-story flagship REI store.
RiNo
RiNo is the River North Art District. This part of Denver combines urban charm with industrial renewal. RiNo features jazz clubs, renewed warehouses and factories, restaurants, and brewpubs. RiNo was event named one of the top ten neighborhoods in the United States by The Lonely Planet.
LoDo
LoDo is Lower Downtown and it is Denver’s oldest neighborhood. Some of the city’s finest restaurants, galleries, shops, and boutiques are located in LoDo. LoDo is home to many businesses from startups to finance to information technology companies and the capitol building is located nearby on Capitol Hill. Be sure to visit Larimer Square which is the oldest historic district during your LoDo visit in Denver.
Capitol Hill
Capitol Hill combines history with hip restaurants. The Brown Palace is the oldest historical hotel in Denver and it is located in the Capitol Hill neighborhood. The Molly Brown House is another historical building located in the neighborhood. But blocks away are nightlife spots such as the Black Box. If you enjoy history along with having a good time, you won’t want to miss this neighborhood during your solo travel trip to Denver.
Cherry Creek
Cherry Creek is the swanky neighborhood in Denver. It is home to the Cherry Creek Mall, multi-million dollar mansions, and high-end restaurants and boutiques. If you love people watching, shopping, and fine dining along with the arts then you will have to visit the most exclusive neighborhood in Denver.
Where To Stay During Your Solo Travel Trip To Denver
Denver and the surrounding area have a range of cabins and vacation rentals available for singles who are planning a trip to Denver. Plan a trip through All The Rooms to find the perfect place to stay during your solo travel trip to Denver. If you enjoyed this solo travel guide to Denver’s neighborhoods, plan your next trip to San Francisco or New York City with the other guides we have for singles.
Views expressed in this article are the author’s opinions and do not necessarily reflect the views of Secure Single. It is intended for informational and educational purposes only. It is not investment or financial advice. James Bollen is the author of Thriving Solo: How to Flourish and Live Your Perfect Life (Without A Soulmate). Now available in paperback and for the Kindle on Amazon. Subscribe to Secure Single’s Substack for free!
If you hate being single, and you feel like it’s a condition that you want to banish for eternity, you might change your mind after reading this. If you’re one of those people, who are happiest in a relationship, it can be really frustrating and lonely at times. But there are ways you can turn your singleness into something magical instead of a crummy sob story.
If You Hate Being Single And Want To Get Married [MUST READ]
If you hate being single, well . . . it’s better than getting struck by lighting
You’re single. Your status doesn’t need to be repaired. It doesn’t matter if you’ve been single for years or even just a couple weeks. If you’re looking for that perfect partner, sometimes the lies you tell yourself can bog down your energy and hold you back from what you want.
Saying things to yourself like “I’m more likely to get struck by lightning than I am to find a boyfriend,” it’s not true. It’s a lot easier to find a partner unless you want to go out into the field with
If you live in the U.S., according to National Geographic, only one and seven hundred thousand people are struck by lightning. I’m pretty sure that in that group of 700,000 people you could find someone to partner up with. Dogs go down a little bit during your lifetime with a 1 in 3000 chance to get struck by lightning. Between 1959 and 2003 there were 3696 recorded deaths by this electric and rare wonder in the U.S.
Want to know the odds of you getting married?
At Business Insider they analyzed data from the U.S. Census Bureau’s Population Survey of all U.S. households. It investigated different social and economic areas of people’s lives. In their article that used a public microdata sample created from the Minnesota Population Center.
By analyzing the estimated amount of people who were married, divorced, widowed, and separated at different ages. In 2016 it was found at 53.3% of those who were 30 years old had been married. On the flip side in 1962, 50% of 21-year-olds have been married. And 90% of the thirty-year-olds have been married.
So if you’re not married yet and you’re over 30, don’t worry about it because the trends are dropping in the marriage department, until later in life. You are not alone. There are plenty of singles out there in your age bracket. In fact, there are loads!
If you hate being single but do want to get married someday, there are a few simple steps you need to take to make it happen.
Make yourself happy first
Being a happy person helps attract other happy people into your life. If you’re down in the dumps, would you want to meet someone who feels like you? Probably not. So do whatever it takes to feel good.
Tell yourself a different story
Instead of saying, “I hate being single but I hate dating,” change the wording around just a little bit. Start with something small. Shift the sentence to “I like being single, and I like dating.” so much of what we say affects our outer world. So start saying more positive things. You don’t have to love being single and you don’t have to enjoy dating, but you might actually get to that point.
Keep an open mind
Of course, you want your needs to be met. But you might have specifics and your perfect partner list that aren’t important. Things like hair color, having a specific job, height, and eye color. Sure you might love tall blondes with blue eyes. What happens when the right woman comes your way who’s 5 foot 2 curvy and brunette? What would happen, then? If you just walked away from a woman because she wasn’t your perfect 10?
Don’t sit around
Take action today. Do whatever it takes to make your life happy and fulfilled where you are right now. Take a trip to New York City. Join some clubs, engage with friends and family, or go to the dog park and get some of that furry unconditional love from other people’s dogs if you don’t have one. Learn about your love language and get your love tank filled.
Summary
Being single when you don’t want to be can hold you back — only if you have the wrong mindset. You are the only person who can change the way you think, and that will change your life. If want something different in your life, you’ve just got to go after it!
Lots of Love,
Dina Colada
Views expressed in this article are the author’s opinions and do not necessarily reflect the views of Secure Single. It is intended for informational and educational purposes only. It is not investment or financial advice. James Bollen is the author of Thriving Solo: How to Flourish and Live Your Perfect Life (Without A Soulmate). Now available in paperback and for the Kindle on Amazon. Subscribe to Secure Single’s Substack for free!
Whether you’re traveling for a girls weekend or a 10-day solo vacation, you’ve got to know where to stay in NYC, because it matters! Every neighborhood has a different vibe that will be perfect for you (or not ideal for you). You’ll want to think about where the subway stations and bus routes are located if you’re not taking an Uber. If it feels overwhelming, don’t worry, just ask any New Yorker, and they’ll be happy to direct you to the right station and where to get your metro card.
Where To Stay In NYC For Singles — Find The Hot Spots For Singles
Well-known neighborhoods of New York
There are five main areas or boroughs in the city. Brooklyn (my personal fave!), Queens, Manhattan, the Bronx, and Staten Island. Public transportation is amazing in the city, and it’s easy to get anywhere if you want to stay in New York City on a budget and still experience the expensive parts of town. I’m going to stick with the main touristy places in this article, and where you’ll find lots of other singles.
Queens
Queens is the home of PS1 Art Gallery, great food and diverse culture. I stayed here during Hurricane Irene in 2011. Hopefully, you pick a travel time that’s much better than my stay that year!
Brooklyn
It’s like a big city home away from home and is my favorite neighborhood in New York City. This area of the city has beautiful murals, great music and an art scene which is especially fabulous for singles. If you like coffee or clubs, this is the place to meet some hip millennials and entrepreneurs.
Manhattan
Manhattan Is probably the most famous area of the city. It’s where you’ll find Central Park, Times Square and of course, the Ripley’s Believe It Or Not Museum! You’ve got to see the oddities there! You’ll find people playing drums on 5-gallon buckets, and there are plenty of ethnic food trucks.
If you like lots of people, this is the place to go. Even though it’s a bougie part of town, there are still some cheap hotels in New York City and even hostels. Hostels are a great place to stay if you’re traveling solo. It’s an easy way to meet other guests and make new friends.
Next, we’re going to help you figure out more specific areas you might want to check out based on what kind of experience you’re looking for.
If nightlife is your bag, the Meatpacking District is a happening place
Williamsburg has new bars, and dance clubs, and so does the Hell’s Kitchen area.
Your perfect solo vacation is surrounded by food dreams, check out SoHo and Tribeca
This is the place for famous chefs and many star reviews on Yelp. From ethnic to classic, you’ll never go hungry here, and you’ll meet lots of positive singles!
Sightseeing in NYC
The best place is in Midtown. There are plenty of shows (the musical, theatrical kind), and super famous buildings you won’t want to miss.
Want trendy NYC?
Then the Bowery is for you. Here you’ll find the New Museum (we’re talking avant-garde), fancy art galleries plus food all over.
The Theater District is perfect if it’s your first time in NYC
It crowded and convenient. There are loads of great places to stay, and it’s easy to walk to the famous Fifth Avenue, shows, and shopping. Don’t miss the Time Warner Center either!
Summary
I hope this has been helpful for your singles trip to the Big Apple. And if you’re a big traveler, you might want to check out our travel guide to San Francisco for singles too!
Lots of Love,
Dina Colada
Views expressed in this article are the author’s opinions and do not necessarily reflect the views of Secure Single. It is intended for informational and educational purposes only. It is not investment or financial advice. James Bollen is the author of Thriving Solo: How to Flourish and Live Your Perfect Life (Without A Soulmate). Now available in paperback and for the Kindle on Amazon. Subscribe to Secure Single’s Substack for free!
Technology is a wonderful thing. It has created through innovation and ingenuity the Internet, computers, and more simple things like the washer and dryer. However, technology is replacing conventional sex in the bedroom and has taken over what has long been perceived as the traditional roles of women. Men who have no interest in getting married can thank the rise of technology which will beat Moore’s Law for providing the technology to clean your house to having an artificially intelligent sex doll. Technology has changed the traditional roles of women which is beneficial for both single women and for the single men going their own way.
Technology Has Changed The Traditional Roles Of Women
How Technology has Changed the Traditional Roles of Women Today
In pre-historic society, women were gatherers while men were hunters. This was how the distribution of labor worked to help the tribe or community. The role of men as hunters and women as gathers continued for centuries, but technology has helped to provide a way for women to focus on business and to escape the role of the homemaker. Technology has also allowed men to no longer need a gatherer to find produce or to go shopping to provide for the everyday needs of the family, tribe, or community. Technology has changed the traditional roles of women and this is good for both men and women. Women no longer need to be gatherers. Women can pursue their passions and life goals without having to mary today. Women can be thankful for technological innovations which have helped to change the traditional roles of women to pursue what they really want to do in life instead of having to marry and have children.
How Technology Benefits Single Men
For men, technology allows men who have given up on women to have access to automated technology which improves their daily lives. There are smart vacuums which can be scheduled to vacuum your apartment or house. There are smart refrigerators which will remind you that you need to buy more milk or an item which is running low in your refrigerator. You can keep your house or apartment secure with a smart lock and security cameras. Why have a wife when you can have smart devices like Amazon Alexa? Information technology is also a booming and growing field for careers for both men and women.
Technology also allowed for the innovation of meal delivery services such as Grubhub which deliver food from restaurants to the customer to meal delivery kits like Home Chef. These services make it simple for single men, and singles in general, to enjoy a great healthy meal without the hassle of a significant other. You can order the meal what you want and have delivered directly to your address or choose the meal plan which best fits your diet and budget.
Sex tech is now very much a thing and is not going away any time soon. There are, of course, also camming websites. There are also artificially intelligent sex dolls which are becoming more realistic each year as the technology improves. There is no reason for someone who is single to date or to marry with the advancement of technology today to clean or to have sex.
The combination of technology, services, and sex tech have changed and replaced the traditional role of women when it comes to relationships. Men can now go their own way and fully rely on themselves. Men can also choose from the range of technology and services which best fits their desired needs and lifestyles.
Related – Singles Do Not Need An Artificially Intelligent Boyfriend Or Girlfriend
Summary
There is no reason for single men to propose and hope to hear “I do” because technology and these services will continually deliver and meet your daily needs. Want to order take out? There’s an app for that. Want to make meals without the hassle of going to the store? There’s a service for that. Want to experience pleasure? There are cam sites, sex dolls, and sex tech for that. Technology has changed the traditional roles of women and women benefit from technology because they are able to pursue careers without having to marry. Whether you are part of men going their own way or just someone who is single by choice, this is great news because technology can better help you live a fulfilling and pleasure filled single life.
Views expressed in this article are the author’s opinions and do not necessarily reflect the views of Secure Single. It is intended for informational and educational purposes only. It is not investment or financial advice. James Bollen is the author of Thriving Solo: How to Flourish and Live Your Perfect Life (Without A Soulmate). Now available in paperback and for the Kindle on Amazon. Subscribe to Secure Single’s Substack for free!
Panic attacks are one of the worst things a person can go through. I know because I used to get them— often. I learned how to deal with a panic attack alone and so can you.
How To Deal With A Panic Attack Alone (In The Middle Of The Night!)
When you’re single, you have to know how to deal with a panic attack alone (because you probably don’t have a choice)
Before I went through my divorce, I didn’t think panic attacks were real. I dated a guy in college who would have his so-called “panic attacks.” I thought he was just being overly dramatic. He was a full-blown artist after all and couldn’t even work because of these attacks. I thought he was a wee-bit wimpy and a lot bit lazy. I had no idea the scope of the pain and fear that came along with these I-feel-like-I’m-gonna-die panic attacks. OMG. You just want to crawl in a hole and make the pain go away.
What causes panic attacks in the first place?
Sometimes getting triggered causes panic attacks. For me, it was the ding of multiple nasty text messages from my ex at 3am, 6am, 2pm. 7pm and on and on. Even if my granny were texting me, I would get a panic attack. This was back in the flip phone days, and I couldn’t change my ringtone or text alert sounds. That was my first trigger.
Some people don’t even know why they have them. Others get triggered by specific situations such as getting on a plane or speaking in public. For some, it could be leaving the house. It’s primal stuff in your body that causes a cascade of fear-hormones that pump up your heartbeat, make it hard to breathe, make you sweaty or frozen. So if you’re single now, you’ll want to know how to get out of your primal triggered brain and into your evolved human mind. . .
How to deal with a panic attack while alone?
First notice the symptoms (that won’t be too hard, it’s like a hot flash, when you feel it, you know it’s happening).
Practice controlling your breath. Do this when you do not have a panic attack too. It’ll help you manage it when a panic attack rears its fiery dragon head into your chest. You can practice yoga, mindfulness, and just be aware of your breath.
You can also learn to relax a little better using progressive muscle relaxation (where you tense and relax your muscles)
This technique is easy to use and will help you release tension like nobody’s business. Here are simple instructions at the University of Michigan.
Another step to know how to handle a panic attack alone is to stay off the caffeine, smoking, and alcohol
One of the things I remember when I used to get them is that I would freeze because I was terrified that I was going to have a heart attack. I thought for sure I would die almost every time they occurred, but I didn’t’.
Another thing you can do is to move your body
Stretch, take a walk to help release that energy and when you’re done, make some warm chamomile tea. Holding something warm in your hands will give you something else to focus on. Being present and mindful of my body, my breath, and my surroundings helps tremendously.
Even though I felt like I had one foot in the grave (many times) I’m still here and doing great! And I know now if I feel one coming on, I’ve trained myself to manage it with these techniques before it spirals out of control— and so can you! Single people can do anything that couples can do!
Lots of Love,
Dina Colada
Views expressed in this article are the author’s opinions and do not necessarily reflect the views of Secure Single. It is intended for informational and educational purposes only. It is not investment or financial advice. James Bollen is the author of Thriving Solo: How to Flourish and Live Your Perfect Life (Without A Soulmate). Now available in paperback and for the Kindle on Amazon. Subscribe to Secure Single’s Substack for free!
There are a few lucky souls who have a copacetic divorce, but for the rest of us, there is usually some type of drama involved. When you’ve got children, you’ve still got to deal with your ex and learn co-parenting after divorce peacefully. Or at least you can play the grown-up part with composure and even grace.
With 1.2 million divorces every year in the United States, there are going to be a lot of single mommas out there. You are not alone and can see more single mother stats here. You’re also not the only one with divorce drama. It’s painful, even if you are the one filing the papers first. There are going to be hurt feelings, and when this happens, defenses go up.
Co-Parenting After Divorce— How To Deal With A Dramatic Ex
Co-Parenting After Divorce When There’s Resistance From Your Ex
Your ex wants what they want. The same goes for you. And a lot of times your ex wants to spend more time with the kids. He might also want to make you miserable by not giving you what you want.
When it comes to co-parenting after a divorce, it’s wise to be the bigger person
Don’t talk smack about your ex in front of your kids no matter how rotten they behave.
Your five year old may seem like a more mature than that person (who used to act like a human) who is currently acting like a lunatic. Holding your tongue in front of the little ones is best. That person who could be committed is still their daddy.
Your good behavior is for the kids— and your sanity. And it could even create a blissful after divorce relationship down the road (even if you can’t imagine having a regular conversation with him yet).
Some people might think co-parenting with rules is the only way to go. But…
This could make you roll your eyes back in your head. You probably think your ex will never follow any rules. Or behave like a grown up. Ever. But if there is, or soon will be a judge involved in your divorce, you can place your Benjamins down on the betting table that there’s going to be some type of parenting schedule. Which is kind of like having rules when you were in middle school
So, stick to the co-parenting schedule if your ex is a high drama person
Or even if they are into any kind of drama for that matter.
If you have a co-parenting calendar with your ex and you’re both acting like adults flexibility is an excellent thing to have in your life. Sometimes things pop up. You might have a date and want your ex to cover you on Friday night.
Or your ex might have his yearly fishing trip with his best friends from college. When one person or the other does things just to get back at their ex, it hurts everyone involved.
If you’re the person causing problems by not bending (within reason of course), your kids will know that you’re the problem
And if your ex is the one who won’t swap a day, or take your kids to soccer practice when you’re driving Uber to pay for hockey cleats, your kids will also know this (no matter how young they are). They’ll feel the conflict in the air.
Do you want to know one of the best pieces of advice for co-parenting after divorce?
Of course, you do! It was one of the wisest things I learned from my therapist. She told me, “you don’t have to be friends, just be friendly.”
Summary
That’s it. When you see them be business friendly if you need to be that way. If there is any kind of drama with your ex, don’t participate. If they become enraged, hateful or have any other adverse actions, hang up the phone. Don’t respond to their nasty text message. Get in your car and drive away. Then go take care of yourself so you can be the best mom for your kids. There are joys to being single, but sometimes there are rough patches to get there.
Lots of Love,
Dina Colada