So many people assume if you’re an adult woman and single, then, well… something’s gotta be wrong with you. But I say— everything is just right. Your house, your career, and your life is precisely the way you like it. Here is how going through divorce turned on my alpha female superpowers!

Going Through Divorce Turned On My Alpha Female Superpowers

This is what it’s like living as a single alpha woman— having things your way

I’ve got plenty of single friends who are women. Most of the single ones have a dominant alpha personality in their day-to-day life. Some of the alpha females do have some short-term flings, romance, and relationships sprinkled in between their single living, but not all of them.

Women with alpha female characteristics often thrive on being single most of the time

I’ve got a few other women friends who are committed to a partner. They’re in long-term relationships that are tight-knit woven fabric. They swap kisses (or not), share meals, children, bills, properties, and even businesses.

Being in a relationship works for some women, some are OK with it, and for others, it’s a distraction

I’m a single alpha woman, and sometimes I think I want to be in a relationship— until I get myself into one. A lot of times I’m a loner.

I do like the company of a good man and love to go on casual dates. It’s fun and it’s also fabulous networking. Casual dating has extended my social circle, and I’ve met amazing men from around the globe. I am a single alpha, and right now, I like it that way. My parents might not understand it, and at times I don’t understand myself either. I wasn’t sure if I was an alpha woman or not you can take this quiz to find out.

Being a single alpha female can be confusing— especially if it’s not your “normal”

I like men. In fact, I love them. I love lots of them. Whether they’re men I meet in the grocery store, men I’ve gone on dates with or guys who are just friends, I just love the energy of men.

I love the ladies too, but I simply adore the complementary energy between myself and men who have the XY chromosomes on their side and their insides. It’s juicy.

I’m an alpha woman, but I didn’t always think that I was

I didn’t know how. And I didn’t have a clue what it meant to be alpha.

Sometimes I want to let someone else do the work, that’s part of the fun of dating. It’s helped me let go of the reigns a bit.  I can open the pickles by myself, but I don’t mind letting a man do it. 

When you’re a single alpha woman, you end up doing everything. Paying bills, running businesses, taking your kid to the emergency room at 2 am on a Monday (been there, done that a time or two). It’s nice to get a little help— sometimes.

Some women are alpha because we have to be that way

For me, it wasn’t natural, but now being an alpha female feels right.

I’ve finally stepped into my power and it has become second nature. But I can accept help when I need it.  

Maybe being alpha has been coursing through your veins since you were twelve years old. But in my case, it was learned. Being a passive beta woman was also something I learned as well in my formative years. I was used to letting other people be in charge, but it drove me crazy.

When I was in my 20s, I thought I needed a man. Alpha female personality traits had barely touched the surface of my life.

I was a beta female. I was a doormat. I would say yes when I wanted to say no— I didn’t know how to step into my power. I didn’t want to stir up the waters or piss anyone off or have any conflict whatsoever.

I didn’t know how to tap into my powerful feminine creative essence

In fact, power freaked me out.

Any conflict brought up fear and scared little bunny feelings that I didn’t know how to deal with.

However, when I went through a divorce, I learned how to be alpha.

Because I had to. Nobody was there to take care of me or support me.

I had to go it alone. I had the official title “head of household” on my tax forms.

I didn’t ask for child support. I didn’t fight for alimony. I also didn’t have any savings. I did, however, take my computer, a 1960’s desk chair, a shelf, my clothes, a few books, a mattress, and my enamel cookware when I hightailed it out the door.

I was scared shitless, but leaving was what I had to do. It was part of my path. It helped me realize that I didn’t have to have a man to make my way in the world.

Starting from scratch was hard, but I’m thankful I did it

I did a  lot of crying, and I did a lot of dating. I did a lot of soul searching. I soul gazed with myself in the mirror for two hours every day. I also got to learn about men and soul gazing into the eyes of all of my first dates. Being alpha doesn’t mean losing your feminine essence. It’s more about tapping into its power. 

Allowing people to see me and my desires was the first step of being a true alpha

And I discovered over the years that I wasn’t really a beta woman after all. I was an alpha female. It took me all these years to realize I don’t need anyone, and I can do it alone. Being single is OK, and being an alpha female is fabulous. It’s not scary forever if you trust yourself and allow your power to electrify your life, and keep your alpha friends close!

Lots of Love,

Dina Colada

Views expressed in this article are the author’s opinions and do not necessarily reflect the views of Secure Single. It is intended for informational and educational purposes only. It is not investment or financial advice. James Bollen is the author of Thriving Solo: How to Flourish and Live Your Perfect Life (Without A Soulmate). Now available in paperback and for the Kindle on Amazon. Subscribe to Secure Single’s Substack for free!

There are a few lucky souls who have a copacetic divorce, but for the rest of us, there is usually some type of drama involved. When you’ve got children, you’ve still got to deal with your ex and learn co-parenting after divorce peacefully. Or at least you can play the grown-up part with composure and even grace.

With 1.2 million divorces every year in the United States, there are going to be a lot of single mommas out there. You are not alone and can see more single mother stats here. You’re also not the only one with divorce drama. It’s painful, even if you are the one filing the papers first. There are going to be hurt feelings, and when this happens, defenses go up. 

Co-Parenting After Divorce— How To Deal With A Dramatic Ex

Co-Parenting After Divorce When There’s Resistance From Your Ex

Your ex wants what they want. The same goes for you. And a lot of times your ex wants to spend more time with the kids. He might also want to make you miserable by not giving you what you want.  

When it comes to co-parenting after a divorce, it’s wise to be the bigger person

Don’t talk smack about your ex in front of your kids no matter how rotten they behave.

Your five year old may seem like a more mature than that person (who used to act like a human) who is currently acting like a lunatic. Holding your tongue in front of the little ones is best. That person who could be committed is still their daddy.

Your good behavior is for the kids— and your sanity. And it could even create a blissful after divorce relationship down the road (even if you can’t imagine having a regular conversation with him yet).

Some people might think co-parenting with rules is the only way to go. But…

This could make you roll your eyes back in your head. You probably think your ex will never follow any rules. Or behave like a grown up. Ever. But if there is, or soon will be a judge involved in your divorce, you can place your Benjamins down on the betting table that there’s going to be some type of parenting schedule. Which is kind of like having rules when you were in middle school

So, stick to the co-parenting schedule if your ex is a high drama person

Or even if they are into any kind of drama for that matter.

If you have a co-parenting calendar with your ex and you’re both acting like adults flexibility is an excellent thing to have in your life. Sometimes things pop up. You might have a date and want your ex to cover you on Friday night.

Or your ex might have his yearly fishing trip with his best friends from college. When one person or the other does things just to get back at their ex, it hurts everyone involved.

If you’re the person causing problems by not bending (within reason of course), your kids will know that you’re the problem

And if your ex is the one who won’t swap a day, or take your kids to soccer practice when you’re driving Uber to pay for hockey cleats, your kids will also know this (no matter how young they are). They’ll feel the conflict in the air.

Do you want to know one of the best pieces of advice for co-parenting after divorce?

Of course, you do! It was one of the wisest things I learned from my therapist. She told me, “you don’t have to be friends, just be friendly.”

Summary

That’s it. When you see them be business friendly if you need to be that way. If there is any kind of drama with your ex, don’t participate. If they become enraged, hateful or have any other adverse actions, hang up the phone. Don’t respond to their nasty text message. Get in your car and drive away. Then go take care of yourself so you can be the best mom for your kids. There are joys to being single, but sometimes there are rough patches to get there.

Lots of Love,

Dina Colada

Views expressed in this article are the author’s opinions and do not necessarily reflect the views of Secure Single. It is intended for informational and educational purposes only. It is not investment or financial advice. James Bollen is the author of Thriving Solo: How to Flourish and Live Your Perfect Life (Without A Soulmate). Now available in paperback and for the Kindle on Amazon. Subscribe to Secure Single’s Substack for free!

Your first Mother’s Day as a single mom can be more than a challenge.  I know when you’re a single mom, Mother’s Day can give you some mixed feelings. I understand.

Because I’ve been a single mom for ten years to an incredible (almost) thirteen-year-old. He’s more than likely not going to shower me with gifts and make me breakfast on Sunday. But you never know.

First Mother’s Day As A Single Mom— Start Your Own Crying Club

I’m not dating anyone to pamper me as a single mother on Mother’s Day either

And I’m OK with that because gifts aren’t that important to me. They’re not my love language. Sure, it sounds great to get some presents, or mimosa in bed served in a ceramic mug made by my best friend,

But doing my own thing sounds divine too. Maybe I’ll spend it with my son, my mom or neither

I might sleep in. Binge on the Great British Baking Show on Netflix and gorge on peanut butter chocolate cupcakes. I enjoy my time alone even if it’s on Mother’s Day. But when you’re a newly single mom, it’s a different story. You want to be there every second. It’s hard to not feel special.

It is especially hard when it’s your first Mother’s Day as a single mom

I remember those just post-divorce times well. My family had basically been torn apart from what looked like the “perfect” nuclear family of three. After our divorce, we had a full twelve months of Jerry Springer level baby mamma/ daddy going to court kind of drama.

Thank God those days are long gone.

I promise if you’re a newly single mom, it does get easier. With a few simple tricks

Wisdom like “You don’t have to be friends with your ex, just be friendly.” This one saved me oodles of drama.

If you’re a single mother on Mother’s Day in the first year, well, there could be some tears going on, some confusion and straight up heartbreak from your (what feels like a broken) family.

But you will carry on and a single parent, and you will become a stronger person than you ever imagined

You’ll also be surprised to learn that being a single mom on Mother’s Day is the kind of times that give you mad wisdom, self-reliance and truckloads of badassery. Yeeessz!

Let me explain . . . If you’re just on your own, you might not feel like a badass yet (but you will eventually)

But if you let your feelings process (even if it hurts like hell— and it probably will), learning to process your feelings will help you become a woman that feels like you can conquer anything.

I mean, cry when you need to cry, and don’t stuff your feelings down. Ever

Crying is good for you. In Japan, they even have “crying clubs.” This is where people get together and sob it out. They watch sappy movies to get their juices flowing.

So if you feel like you’ve been holding back the tears, watch the Bjork flick Dancer in the Dark. Me and my friend Beth were the only people in the theater and we had our very own intimate crying club that night. You won’t believe what happens to Bjork.

If you’re at work and need to bust a tear, go to the bathroom

Most people don’t question that. And if a man sees your eyes getting watery, you can tell them it’s that time of the month. Most men won’t ask another question about too much woman information.

I’ve gone from the hot-mess to getting out of bed every day (yet sometimes it is with sloth-like slowness), but I still do it!

I’m to that feeling pretty damn good point. It’s taken a lot of therapy, mindfulness, meditation, good friends, brain entrainment, letting my creative genius flow and of course gallons of tears (every day for years).

I learned the hard way that holding back the tears only brings more pain later

Luckily I’ve streamlined the process of letting go of heartbreak, and good-old-fashioned can’t get out of bed depression, and (OMG! I think I’m going to die from a heart attack). And war-veteran style triggers. PTSD, anyone? Yep. I can check that one of my bucket lists (even though it was never actually on my bucket list).

Summary

So if you’re one of the single moms on Mother’s Day who doesn’t feel like you can run the world yet, let alone get out of bed and do laundry, do it anyway (but not on Mother’s Day). This is your day. Celebrate your awesome motherly qualities and know that you’re not perfect and you can only do your best. Do something nice for yourself and tell yourself that you will be OK. It’s your day and you can romance yourself and love your kids to the max!

Lots of Love,

Dina Colada

Views expressed in this article are the author’s opinions and do not necessarily reflect the views of Secure Single. It is intended for informational and educational purposes only. It is not investment or financial advice. James Bollen is the author of Thriving Solo: How to Flourish and Live Your Perfect Life (Without A Soulmate). Now available in paperback and for the Kindle on Amazon. Subscribe to Secure Single’s Substack for free!

Single mother statistics and demographics provide enlightening insight into the changing presence of single mothers in the United States and throughout the world. The Life of a Single Mother blog has compiled interesting data about the lives of single parents. Single mother statistics show a significantly increasing number of single mothers raising children in the U.S. In addition,  demographics show that single mothers face economic challenges.

Single Mother Statistics And Demographics

Single Mother Statistics: 1 in 4 Parents is Unmarried

Fifty years ago, fewer than one in ten parents living with a child was unmarried. Today, that number has grown to one in four. This statistic shows the growing sector of single-parent households.

Today, 15 million single mothers in the U.S. are raising 22 million children. One in five children in the U.S. is living with a single mom. The number of households led by a single mother has increased by 300% since 1960.

Where Do Single Parents Live?

An interesting statistic is that the country with the highest percentage of children 0-14 living with single parents in the U.K. About 26% of children in the UK live in single mother-led households. Across the world, 17% of children live with a single parent. Overall, 88% of those children live with single mothers.

Other countries with high percentages of single-parent households are Lithuania (25%) Denmark Latvia, and the U.S. (23%).

 Louisiana has the greatest number of single mother-led households. Other states with between 45 and over 50% of children born to unmarried mothers include Nevada, Arizona, New Mexico, Mississippi, Florida, South Carolina, and West Virginia. Mississippi has the greatest number of children born to unmarried women.

Single Mothers & Single Fathers

 Single mothers account for the majority of single parents in the U.S. In fact, 86% of single-parent families in the U.S. are led by mothers. While 19 million children under 18 are living with a single mother, only 3 million are living with a single father.

Single Mother Demographics and Issues 

Many single mothers face economic struggles. Approximately 2 in 3 work outside the home. However, 40% of working single mothers are employed in low wage jobs. 1 in 6 single mothers did not complete high school, which may keep them in low wage jobs. In addition, they often do not have access to paid family leave. About 2 in 3 of single mother-led households receive free or reduced-price meals.

Cost of Living for Single Mothers

Living expenses account for a high percentage of single mother incomes. Housing, childcare, and healthcare all make up for a large part of the single parent budget. 1 in 3 single mothers is spending half of her income on rent or housing. Childcare is also a great expense. In some states, single mothers spend half of their annual income on childcare. Close to 15% of single mothers do not have health insurance.

Demographics and statistics also show the high costs of parenting. For all parents, the cost of raising a child from birth through 18 is $233,610. This amounts to $13,000 per year. For single parents, living costs amount to a high percentage of income.

On average, single mothers spend 29% of the monthly budget on housing. For some parents, this can run as high as 50%. Other top costs include childcare/education (16%) and food (18%). However, some parents spend up to half of their yearly income on childcare. Transportation can make up to 15% of income.

Is There Any Hope?

Despite the challenges faced by many single parents, there are many success stories. President Barack Obama, Olympic swimmer Michael Phelps, and NBA player Kevin Durant were all raised by single mothers.

The statistics and demographics show us that the number of single parent-led households is increasing. However, single mothers especially need access to affordable housing and childcare. Policies that encourage education for unmarried mothers are also key so they can move beyond the trap of low-wage jobs.

Views expressed in this article are the author’s opinions and do not necessarily reflect the views of Secure Single. It is intended for informational and educational purposes only. It is not investment or financial advice. James Bollen is the author of Thriving Solo: How to Flourish and Live Your Perfect Life (Without A Soulmate). Now available in paperback and for the Kindle on Amazon. Subscribe to Secure Single’s Substack for free!

The Single Parent’s Anthem has gone viral. Maria-Theresa Sigua posted The Single Mothers Anthem on her blog, Maria’s Random Rants. She also shared The Single Parent’s Anthem on Reddit. The Austin, Texas woman is a mother of four.

The Single Parent’s Anthem

I’m the one who explained why you left, the one who dealt with their anger, their frustration and tears.

I have defended you because it’s better than telling them to give up on you.

And because it hurts less than hating you.

I have paid for all their flights to see you, and even some of yours, so you saw them at all.

I reminded you to call them on their birthdays, to text them during their bad weeks, and then pretended I didn’t.

But I am the one who has been there, since day one and every day in between.

I’m the full-time mother, the part-time father, their financial advisers, their #1 fans, their Lyft service, their advocates, their therapists, and their life teachers.

I planned all their birthday parties and checked off their Christmas lists.

I reemed them when they missed classes, praised them when they got As, and consoled them when they didn’t get the grades they thought they deserved.

Then I helped them look at colleges, filled out their financial aid, and edit their college applications.

I signed their car notes, reviewed their leases, scheduled all their appointments, taught them how to budget and even cook themselves dinner.

I have had the hard conversations with them, the ones about sex, heartbreak, adulting, and how to care for their mental health.

I watched and hurt with them for every single disappointment they’ve had since you left, and to be honest, even all the years before that.

I have taken all of their calls, including the scary ones that came in after 2am.

I picked them up, literally and figuratively, when they were lost.

I taught them about love and loyalty, and also what bull shit smells like.

And while you complain about child support, I creatively find ways to pay the other 90% of their expenses you think you shouldn’t have to cover.

I am the ride-or-die parent, the real-deal-superwoman-single mom, who has sacrificed much to give them lives that don’t lack, despite your absence.

So, when you ask me with callousness and undeserved annoyance, “What the hell do you want,” my simple answer is this –

Be a good dad, a better man.

Respect the mother of your children.

And show some gratitude that while our children may carry your name, they bear all of my heart.

Single mothers and fathers alike relate to Sigua’s experience.

One in Three U.S. Households Led by Single Parents

Sigua’s experience is mirrored in the homes of many single parents throughout the country. Many provide the financial and emotional support of their children. They have little, if any, support from their former partners. According to a 2018 Pew Research Center analysis, about 1 in 3 children in the U.S. are living with a single parent. Approximately 65% live with two married parents. One in five children living in a single parent household lives solely or at least in part with the mother. The percentage of children living solely with fathers is around 4%.

The Frustrations Of Single Parents

The challenges of single parents can seem insurmountable. A higher percentage of single parent households live at or below the poverty line. Resources, financial and time, are often stretched.  Parents like Sigua are frustrated that their children’s other parent is not involved in the children’s life. Parenting can bring tremendous challenges; single parenting, even more so. Sigua has tapped into the frustrations experienced by single parents struggling to raise children on their own.

Views expressed in this article are the author’s opinions and do not necessarily reflect the views of Secure Single. It is intended for informational and educational purposes only. It is not investment or financial advice. James Bollen is the author of Thriving Solo: How to Flourish and Live Your Perfect Life (Without A Soulmate). Now available in paperback and for the Kindle on Amazon. Subscribe to Secure Single’s Substack for free!

For single parents, Thanksgiving can be the kickoff to a season of emotional minefields. So whether you’re freshly divorced or been unpartnered for a while, how do you survive during the Thanksgiving meal and maybe even energized for Black Friday?

One of the harshest realities as a single parent is the first Thanksgiving you spend without your kids. If you’re divorced or co-parenting, you’ll typically be switching off years or perhaps midday. How do you get through the day without hiding under the covers with a heap of tissues?

Single Parents’ Guide To Surviving Thanksgiving

Friday Feast 

My first Thanksgiving as a single parent, I made a pact with myself to celebrate what I like to call “alternate side of the street” holidays. Who says you can’t feast on turkey and fixings on Wednesday or Friday?

New Traditions

If the thought of holidays sends you into a fit of regret and sadness, create new traditions with your kids. Regardless of whether your household includes two parents, a couple of kids and a dog, you’re still a family. You might try some new recipes or go for a Thanksgiving morning hike.

My first holiday season after divorce, my kids and I started a collection of travel ornaments. After Thanksgiving, we’d trim our little tree while we listened to holiday music and roasted chestnuts, which became our special celebration.

 Friends are Family

Feeling lonely? Invite single friends over for Thanksgiving dinner. Your guests might include coworkers, friends from the gym, anyone you can think of who may not have a place to go. Ask guests to bring a friend. You’re doing a good deed and may even meet someone new!

Map Out Holiday Shopping

Single parents can take advantage of some bonus pre-game shopping time. Enjoy an extra cup of coffee or our favorite beverage in your jammies while writing gift lists. Check out online deals in advance of Cyber Monday. If your kids are away, skip out for some late night shopping.

Celebrate You

Whether on Thanksgiving Day or throughout the year, take care of yourself. The stresses of being a single parent can be overwhelming. Treat yourself to some “me time,” whether it’s relaxing in a hot bath, reading a bestseller, binge-watching your favorite show, making time for your favorite workout or indulging in your favorite meal.

Serve Others

It’s easy to feel bad for yourself if you’re missing your kids. Start the day with a brisk walk or workout and volunteer to serve a meal on Thanksgiving. Sign up at Volunteer Match for opportunities in your area.

Practice Gratitude

Although this may seem like a cliche favored by yogis, focusing on what is going right with your life goes a long way to alleviate Thanksgiving Blues. Make a list of what makes you happy. Look at what you do have rather than what you’re missing. You may be surprised what a game-changer gratitude can be. And Giving Thanks is what this holiday is all about, right?

Views expressed in this article are the author’s opinions and do not necessarily reflect the views of Secure Single. It is intended for informational and educational purposes only. It is not investment or financial advice. James Bollen is the author of Thriving Solo: How to Flourish and Live Your Perfect Life (Without A Soulmate). Now available in paperback and for the Kindle on Amazon. Subscribe to Secure Single’s Substack for free!

The ABC sitcom Single Parents throws together a motley crew of parents thrown together because their second-graders are in the same class. As with most sitcoms, this comes replete with cheesy jokes. Only here, the lines get a pass because they’re told by precocious child actors.

Single Parents: Does The ABC Sitcom Get It Right? 

Single Parents is a pleasant enough diversion to unwind after a challenging day. (The kind filled with traffic, work, more traffic, and homework duty.) It’s kind of like dipping your spoon into a pint of Halo Top. Not exactly Haagen Dazs but it will do in a pinch. Television lite.

The attraction of Single Parents may be the message that we don’t have to do it alone. And friendship comes in a variety of packages.

The cast of this Wednesday night sitcom features Taran Killam (Will) as a sort of goofball born-again virgin. His wife left him with a young daughter who is the center of his existence. That is till the rest of the crew nudges him into adult life.

Leighton Meester (Angie) is a  mildly neurotic single mother raising a pretty neurotic son.

Kimrie Lewis (Poppy) plays a bookstore owner who pours a mean glass of wine. She’s the mother of a flamboyant son.

Jake Choi (Miggy) is a 20-something hipster who accidentally impregnated his high school BFF. He drags his newborn to sneaker pop-ups.

And the elder statesman of the bunch, Brad Garrett (Douglas), is a fifty-something dermatologist. His 26-year old yoga instructor wife died in childbirth. He’s fathering conniving twin daughters. (When he’s not meeting physician friends for juicy Porterhouses and scotch.)

The ensemble is rounded out by the kids, Marlow Barkley, Tyler Wladis, Devin Trey Campbell, Mia Allen, and Ella Allen.

Plot lines hit familiar circumstances. (Like how to hide from your daughter that you’re sleeping with her pediatrician.) As with many sitcoms, the writers sometimes play a heavy hand with stereotypes.

In one of the earlier episodes, Douglas and Angie dissuade Will from joining the married mom room parents. “There’s no way we’re doing anything you want,” dictates Douglas. Angie delivers what seems to be the hook of the show. “We’re single parents. We don’t volunteer. We just try and survive until a time in the day when it’s appropriate to open wine.”

Sure, raising kids on your own can be tough. (Even when there’s a co-parent to pick up some of the slack.) But it’s not about spending 24/7 hovering over kids. It’s also not a stream of rotating happy hours and Tinder dates.

Summary

The truth in Single Parents lies in the power of friendship. The first episode featured a running gag about “It takes a village.” Single parenting is not a function of surviving between oversized glasses of Cabernet. It’s thriving with the support of friends. It does take a village, as seen on TV.

Views expressed in this article are the author’s opinions and do not necessarily reflect the views of Secure Single. It is intended for informational and educational purposes only. It is not investment or financial advice. James Bollen is the author of Thriving Solo: How to Flourish and Live Your Perfect Life (Without A Soulmate). Now available in paperback and for the Kindle on Amazon. Subscribe to Secure Single’s Substack for free!

Politicians use single mothers as scapegoats in politics.

In politics, single mothers are a popular scapegoat. In fact, presidential candidates have had harsh criticisms for unwed parents. Here is a look at single mothers and politics, how single mothers went from scapegoats to being a power face in politics.

Single Mothers and Politics: From Scapegoat To Powerful Force

Breeding More Criminals

Rick Santorum blamed single mothers for a rising crime. “We are seeing the fabric of our country fall apart. It’s falling apart because of single moms. We have moms raising children in single-parent households simply breeding more criminals,” he wrote.

But Santorum didn’t stop there. In addition, he wanted to require single mothers applying for assistance to name children’s fathers. As a 2016 candidate, he opposed all abortion. Nevertheless, he referred to contraception as “not OK.“

Stop Making Babies

Rand Paul (R-KY), who sees mandated employer contraception coverage as a “violation of religious freedom,” thinks single women should stop getting pregnant. In fact, he’s said it might be “tough” to convince women to stop having children. “We’ve got to find out how to get that message across. It needs to come from ministers and people in the community and parents and grandparents to convince our kids to do something different,” the politician has said.

And Stop Glamorizing Single Moms

Mike Huckabee gave Bristol Palin a double free pass. However, he has also criticized single pregnant celebrities like actress Natalie Portman. Shades of Vice President Quayle’s critique of Murphy Brown.

Scarlett Letter

Likewise, Jeb Bush has had harsh words for single parents. In his 1995 book, “Profiles in Character,” he blamed single motherhood on the lack of shaming and ridicule. Moreover, in 2001, he signed a Florida bill requiring single mothers placing babies for adoption to publish their sexual histories in the newspaper. Incidentally, Marco Rubio voted for the “Scarlet Letter Bill,” as it has been referred.

Bush did not veto the bill, which was overturned after it was ruled unconstitutional.

Scapegoat to Powerful Force

In spite of this, single mothers have become a political force. Single mothers head over 80% of the 12 million single parent families in the U.S. (2017 US Census) Furthermore, an increasing number of single mothers are running for public office, including Texas congressional candidate Linsey Fagan.

The Bottom Line

Single parents are not Ronald Reagan’s “welfare queen.” We are divorced, widowed, single parents by choice. And we deserve to be represented instead of scapegoated.

Views expressed in this article are the author’s opinions and do not necessarily reflect the views of Secure Single. It is intended for informational and educational purposes only. It is not investment or financial advice. James Bollen is the author of Thriving Solo: How to Flourish and Live Your Perfect Life (Without A Soulmate). Now available in paperback and for the Kindle on Amazon. Subscribe to Secure Single’s Substack for free!