There are many ways to spend time alone. The differences in how you spend time alone come down to how you think and feel alone. There is an essential difference between alone and lonely. Society views spending time alone as bad yet fails to differentiate between solitude versus loneliness.
Solitude Versus Loneliness
Solitude
What is solitude? Solitude is the act of being alone or remote from society. Solitude is a state of spending time on your own without being lonely, and it can lead you to self-awareness. It is the state of being able to be alone without being lonely. Solitude is a positive way of being alone. You can use solitude as a time for self-reflection. Solitude is a time for contemplation and to think about yourself and the world. Thinking, asking questions, and having peace in your mind is right. Deep thinking can lead to increased productivity and creativity.
There are different ways that you can have solitude. You can experience solitude in nature. You can experience solitude through spirituality and meditation. You can have solitude by taking some time to read a book or contemplating life. Solitude is positive because you choose it. You can use solitude as a time to refresh yourself, pursue something you are interested in learning, or developing a skill. You can use solitude to build self-awareness and continue developing yourself into the person you want to be.
There are also benefits from solitude. Solitude helps to increase productivity because you spend time focusing on finishing one thing. This time in solitude boosts your productivity, and studies confirm the connection between productivity and solitude. Solitude can help to increase your creativity and by decreasing your distractions. People are more productive and creative when they work in an office or a private space than a space with an open floor plan because of solitude. Solitude improves your psychological well-being. When you learn to spend time alone, you develop solitary skills that make you mentally stronger. When you spend time alone, studies have found that people are happier, have better life satisfaction, and have lower levels of depression. Being alone can also help you to improve your relationships. When you spend time alone in solitude, you develop more compassion for people.
In contrast, you develop an “us versus them” mentality that comes with spending time with family, friends, and colleagues. Solitude is a way for you to get to know yourself. When you spend time in solitude, you separate yourself from outside influences. You don’t have to worry about someone else’s emotions. As you get to know yourself more, you continue to get more comfortable in your own skin and who you are, and you start to get in touch with your authentic self. Once you know who you are, you can begin to plan your life by setting aside time and goals to reach your aspirations, dreams, and goals.
Loneliness
Loneliness is a distressing experience that occurs when that person perceives a person’s social relationships to be less in quantity, and especially in quality, than desired that leads to a state of distress or discomfort that results when one perceives a gap between one’s desires for social connection and actual experience. There is a loneliness epidemic, and it has been amplified by lockdown loneliness during the Covid pandemic. Loneliness is isolation and is a negative state. In contrast to the solitude which you choose, loneliness is forced upon you.
There are adverse effects of loneliness. The health effects of loneliness have similar consequences to smoking, obesity, lack of access to healthcare, and lack of physical activity. The results of loneliness are premature mortality. Chronic loneliness can also be experienced when someone lacks the mental, emotional, and financial resources to go out and social interaction with others to meet social needs. Chronic loneliness also happens when someone does not have a social circle to reach out to and interact with in your life.
You don’t need to be alone to experience loneliness. Loneliness can be experienced in public when people surround you. It can also happen to people who are married with their spouses and children. Loneliness can also be experienced when people in a public space surround you. A 2019 Pew Research Center survey found that more than 6,000 adults in the United States linked loneliness to overall dissatisfaction with one’s community, family, and social life. The quality of life declines from loneliness. The loss in life quality is because loneliness negatively affects the immune system and “fight or flight” mentality from stress.
If you are dealing with loneliness, you can find a roommate to have a social company living alone. Another option is to find cohousing options where you live. Cohousing allows you to interact with different people where you can have shared dining, recreational spaces, and laundry in the housing building. You can also work to build a community if you do not have one. You can have a community by going to events to find people who share your values or going to a place to meet people.
Conclusion
There is a difference between solitude and loneliness. Singles can use solitude to reflect, contemplate, and focus on productivity and creativity. Singles can avoid loneliness by having a community and becoming comfortable spending time alone with themselves.
Views expressed in this article are the author’s opinions and do not necessarily reflect the views of Secure Single. It is intended for informational and educational purposes only. It is not investment or financial advice. James Bollen is the author of Thriving Solo: How to Flourish and Live Your Perfect Life (Without A Soulmate). Now available in paperback and for the Kindle on Amazon. Subscribe to Secure Single’s Substack for free!
Singles pursuit of solitude is healthy and natural
It is often thought that alone equates to loneliness, when they are in fact opposites of each other. It is healthy to spend time alone in solitude. American society neglects solitude in pursuit of various goals that often result in self-alienation. Singles can begin to leave society’s isolation, even in a crowd for the pursuit of solitude. Singles pursuit of solitude results in five core benefits from spending time alone. Here is a look at singles pursuit of solitude alone.
Singles Pursuit Of Solitude Alone
Discipline
Singles pursuit of solitude teaches discipline. Society focuses busyness and fads. Society’s focus makes it so singles miss what truly matters in life as an individual, as a community, and on a spiritual or religious level. Discipline reveals what really matters in life by unveiling what is hidden in the pursuit of something that is greater than ourselves (whatever that may be). Singles in the pursuit of solitude can also apply discipline to other areas of life.
Productivity
Singles pursuit of solitude increases productivity. Solitude removes life’s distraction with the intention to pursue a goal or objective. This leads to complete attention on a task which results in higher productivity.
Self-Discovery
Singles pursuit of solitude gives singles the opportunity for self-discovery. This is a time that lets you think for yourself instead of jumping on the band wagon with your friends for validation. The single life is a time to grow as an individual and to love life.
Critical Thinking
Singles pursuit of solitude allows you to develop critical thinking skills. Consider modelling you life after Socrates who famously said, “All I know is that I know nothing.” This attitude leads to viewing things through more of an objective lens to evaluate according to merits and logic to determine if something reflects the world as it truly is or is malarkey. Ultimately, the most important skill that anyone can learn is critical thinking in order to think for oneself and to question authority.
Relationships
Singles pursuit of solitude leads to better quality relationships with others. How so? You have spent time alone in solitude so you better understand who you are as an individual and have thought critically about your values and the world. This will influence who you choose to spend time with and to appreciate your relationships with others following your time in solitude.
Summary
Solitude is vital to thrive as a single and to discover yourself. Disconnect from the digital world and spend time in contemplation. Schedule a time for solitude amidst life’s busyness to refocus, refresh, and reevaluate. Singles pursuit of solitude is important to lead a healthy life and to question a society that makes coupling singles ultimate life goal.
Views expressed in this article are the author’s opinions and do not necessarily reflect the views of Secure Single. It is intended for informational and educational purposes only. It is not investment or financial advice. James Bollen is the author of Thriving Solo: How to Flourish and Live Your Perfect Life (Without A Soulmate). Now available in paperback and for the Kindle on Amazon. Subscribe to Secure Single’s Substack for free!
Singles can develop life skills by learning to spend time alone.
Being able to spend time alone and to enjoy dining out by yourself is a valuable life skill. It is often thought that it is best to go out on a date or with friends rather than by yourself. It has been found that solitude is healthy and that dining alone is on the rise. Despite what others may say; here are five reasons why there is no shame in eating, dining, and spending time alone.
How Spending Time Alone Can Develop Life Skills For Singles
Talk And Meet New People
The best part about being single is you are able to visit new restaurants, bars, clubs, and venues by making use of the freedom of the single life. When you go out, you can always be open to talking and meeting to new people. Singles can make the most of going out alone by improving conversations skills with people that they meet at a restaurant or bar. Take a chance and start up a conversation with someone if you overhear that you have something in common and see what happens.
Learn to Enjoy Time Alone
It is important to learn to enjoy being able to spend time alone. It has been found that solitude is healthy. Spend more time alone and savor solitude. You don’t always need to go out with friends to have a good time. Singles definitely do not need to date to be happy and to have when going out to a restaurant or bar. Pull up a seat for one at the bar or ask for a table for one.
Realize You Don’t Need to always Go Out With Another person or Friends
Your friends, family, and acquaintances may say that you should always find friends or a date to go with when going out, but you don’t! The only person you need is you! You are free to explore new places on your own time because you may never do it if you decide to wait and to plan around your friends schedules. Take charge today singles and explore with your time alone!
Grow In Confidence
While society and people stigmatize spending time alone and doing things alone, it will allow you to grow in confidence. It teaches confidence because you do not have to wait on others to do something that you want to do. You can do it when you are available. You will also grow in confidence because it is up to you to handle situations as they arise and to meet new people by having conversations at the different places you visit alone. Don’t fear doing things by yourself, embrace it and choose to grow in confidence by developing your skills to handle time alone.
Develop Yourself
Being single is the time to develop yourself as an individual. This is the time to travel, explore, study, and to question prevailing thoughts and opinions about what life should be and look like. Take your time being single to develop yourself as a whole person by training the mind, heart, and body to become the best version of who you can be in life. It is up to you to take the reins and to develop yourself. There is no better time to do that then while you are single and by learning to enjoy spending time alone in solitude.
Views expressed in this article are the author’s opinions and do not necessarily reflect the views of Secure Single. It is intended for informational and educational purposes only. It is not investment or financial advice. James Bollen is the author of Thriving Solo: How to Flourish and Live Your Perfect Life (Without A Soulmate). Now available in paperback and for the Kindle on Amazon. Subscribe to Secure Single’s Substack for free!
Whether you’re an introvert or not, everyone at one point or another have experienced moments of solitude to themselves. Understanding that spending time with yourself in moderate amounts is a form of relaxation and not a form of isolation.
In fact, spending time alone allows you to unwind and recharge your mental and physical batteries. In an article written in the New York Post, society views people who are successful as those who are masters at multi-tasking. When we book our calendars full of meetings, there is no time to relax. The constant stress resulting from lack of downtime can be an addiction a downward spiral in one’s mental and physical health.
Contrary to popular belief, there are a lot of psychological health benefits that result from spending time in solitude.
Surprising Benefits Of Spending Time Alone In Solitude
Slow Down And De-Stress
In a recent article on Oprah, Katrina Kenison states that solitude can cure what ails you. When we move in a fast paced world, all of the stress can build up and result in health impairments. Too much stress can harm our mental health, as well as our body’s well being. When we pause and turn off the noise, we can let ourselves relax. Relaxed people are generally at peace with themselves, and tend to be happier. In fact, studies find that happier people live longer. Life is too short anyhow, so why not lead a happier and less stressed life? Give it a go!
You Have Time Reflect and Redirect Your Life
This is all about reflecting on your life, your relationships, your career, and your health. Are you living the life you want to live? A great way to decompress is to write in a journal. The Huffington Post recently noted in an article that when you write you begin to feel mindfulness, while your stress and frustrations fade into the back. When you journal, you also have the opportunity to write down your goals, which significantly increases the likelihood of accomplishing your goals, in comparison with those who do not write down their goals.
Solitude Allows Time To Schedule and Builds Discipline
When you have to yourself, you can pull out your daily planner and coordinate time to work out, meet with friends, and also incorporate time to yourself. Perhaps you can plan a trip to the mall, schedule a massage, or even a visit to the hair salon for a new look.
Grooming is a great way to pamper yourself, and though you will be around people, you can still go solo. When you make the time each week to plan out your month ahead, you build self-discipline. According to Success Consciousness, self-discipline does not mean being harsh toward yourself or living a limited, restrictive lifestyle; it means that you have self-control, which is a sign of inner strength and control of yourself. Self-discipline gives you the power to stick to your decisions and follow them through, without changing your mind, and is one of the most important requirements for achieving goals.
Good self-control means keeping promises to friends, maintaining a budget, actually saving money, and not eating those cookies after 10 pm at night.
Taking a moment or two to yourself every week will allow you the time to reflect upon your life, de-stress your body, renew and pamper yourself, and get organized on where you want to spend your time. Take back control of your life, and get focused on what really matters. If you’re single, then all the more time you have to dedicate to improving your time as a single person, no matter what length of time you stay single. It’s time to get organized. Let us know your favorite way to decompress in the comments below.