There are many reasons for the connection between autism and social isolation. A large part has to do with society and people’s expectations. People enjoy outgoing and charismatic people more than solemn and thoughtful people. Autistic people are most often in the second camp because of verbal and nonverbal communication issues. Autistic individuals eventually learn to become comfortable being outsiders and maximize their time in solitude. to work on their projects. They learn to accept that they can’t fit in with society. There are five primary causes of autism and social isolation.
Autism And Social Isolation
What Is Autism?
According to Autism Research Institute, “Autism is a developmental disorder with symptoms that appear within the first three years of life. Its formal diagnostic name is autism spectrum disorder. The word ‘spectrum’ indicates that autism appears in different forms with varying levels of severity. That means that each individual with autism experiences their own unique strengths, symptoms, and challenges.”
The Autism Spectrum
There is a range of autism. Some autistic individuals who are high functioning may be able to pass by people on the surface until they get into a conversation with someone. On the other end of the spectrum are autistic individuals who cannot fully function. They need other people’s help and assistance with daily tasks. They may hurt themselves by banging themselves or hitting themselves. There are yet others who are somewhere in the middle of this spectrum.
Popular – The Myth of Toxic Masculinity in a Gynocentric Social Order
15 Common Signs Of Autism
There are things that you can look out for to identify autism. The main symptoms of autism relate to verbal and non-verbal communication. There are fifteen common signs of autism:
- Reduced eye contact
- Differences in body language or lack of body language
- Lack of facial expressions
- Lack of eye contact
- Lack of nonverbal communication
- Not engaging in imaginative play
- Repeating gestures or sounds
- Repeating routines
- Repetitive behaviors
- Ritualistic behaviors
- Tone of voice
- Pragmatic language
- Self-injury
- Closely focused interests
- Indifference to temperature extremes
4 Ways How Autistic Individuals Become Social Outcasts
Autistic individuals will usually become social outcasts. They lack the acceptable soft and social skills that are needed to gain approval from people and society. There are four ways how autistic individuals become social outcasts in society.
Society’s Focus On Soft Skills
There is an overemphasis on soft skills in society and by people. These are the very skills that autistic individuals lack. To succeed in life, they must find ways to deal with this enduring social expectation while trying to navigate as a social pariah in society. They eventually learn to become comfortable as social outcasts and spend time alone.
Society’s Expectation
Society is built around extroverts. It favors extroversion personalities. That is why you see people often gushing over celebrities, politicians, or well-known influencers. These people can understand emotions and manipulate them to their advantage. Since they can connect with people on an emotional level, people think that they are just like them, so they must be nice. These people must care about them. Autistic individuals may eventually learn to see through the facade of nice-sounding words, charisma, and good looks because it is part of a world that is alien to them. They learn to overlook society’s expectations and to embrace being society’s black sheep.
People’s Expectations
People often have those same emotions. People prefer extroverted and outgoing people to introverts. This is because most people think that what society says is the best way. People like to go along with the crowd and fit in. They want to please their friends or co-workers. People often focus on external validation. External validation comes from relationships and getting others’ approval of you. Autistic individuals learn that they can’t meet people’s social expectations, so they would rather spend time alone.
Related – 20 Ways How To Deal With Depression And Loneliness
Social Outcasts
Since autistic people lack the social skills and charisma to excite people, they often experience being outcasts. They cannot go along with the crowd because they stick out, even if they try to fit in. Eventually, autistic individuals learn that society and how the system is built are not for them. They must find their way to make do in a culture that highly values the things that autistic people lack. This may result in autistic individuals learning to enjoy spending time in solitude which society frowns upon.
Related – The Loneliness Epidemic and Social Media Paradox
5 Causes Of Autism And Social Isolation
Several factors can drive autistic individuals into self-isolation. Five causes contribute to autism and social isolation.
Poor Social Skills
Autistic individuals usually have poor social skills, a lack of nonverbal communication, and an inability to read body language; many may end up in social isolation. This is because it takes too much effort or is impossible to communicate verbally and non-verbally with people. This leads to many autistic individuals ending up in social isolation. It is easier for them not to deal with people who expect them to have a range of emotions and to be able to communicate those emotions or feelings to others fully.
Poor Verbal Communication
Autistic people may spend more time alone or experience social isolation for many reasons. It may not be worth the time to work to improve non-verbal communication skills because it does not make a difference. They can only marginally improve so much, but still, they stand out to people for their inability to read non-verbal’s. They will also stand out to others because of their monotone voice. They have difficulty fluctuating and changing the range of their voice to show a range of emotions or to stress particular points in verbal communication. As a result of these everyday problems, they may eventually stop trying to improve these soft skills that society places a premium on in their professional and daily life.
Poor Nonverbal Communication
This leads them to end up socially isolated. Instead, they would focus on their interests rather than deal with other people’s expectations that they know they cannot meet. Instead, they would find ways to become the best at that one interest rather than deal with others. Since they do not have the required verbal and social skills that society and employers expect, they have a higher unemployment rate. According to Good Autism School, “up to 70% of approximately 6 million adults with autism in the USA are struggling with unemployment or underemployment.”
Difficulty With Relationships
As a result of often having poor communication and non-verbal skills, autistic individuals have difficulty with relationships. This makes it difficult to make and maintain relationships. Autistic individuals have a hard time with relationships, be it with family to romantic relationships, because they come across as cold due to their monotone voice and poor non-verbal skills. Nonverbal body language accounts for 60% to 65% of communication. People place a premium on soft skills instead of the delivered information. Those are the very things autistic individuals have the most difficulty with, directly affecting their relationships.
Always Being In Their Heads
Autistic individuals often experience being in their heads. This means that their brain is always running. It seems never to stop. It can get even worse if they experience sensory overload from sounds or visuals. Since people are expected to have good soft skills, the interaction with people that autistic individuals lack may replay those interactions in their minds for what they should have done. These types of things make autistic individuals always live in their heads. The mind will run non-stop twenty-four hours a day, seven days a week, and three hundred sixty-five days a year. It never stops.
Autism And Solitude
Despite being socially isolated, many autistic individuals may learn to enjoy spending their time alone. What most people think of as scary or not normal, autistic people can learn to enjoy spending their time alone in solitude. They can use solitude to take advantage of the autistic symptoms by focusing and working on an interest in creative ways. Autistic individuals can spend time in solitude to master a skill and craft. They can be highly productive once they learn to utilize time management strategies to focus solely on a project. Autism, when appropriately managed, can become a superpower!
Related – What Is The Difference? Solitude Versus Loneliness
Conclusion
Social isolation is often thought of as a bad thing. The flip side of isolation is solitude. It is ultimately a matter of perspective and how someone views spending time alone. Autistic individuals have difficulty maintaining relationships because they lack the non-verbal and soft skills that people expect in social situations. For these reasons, they may enjoy spending time in solitude working on their projects because they don’t have to deal with people and society.
Views expressed in this article are the author’s opinions and do not necessarily reflect the views of Secure Single. It is intended for informational and educational purposes only. It is not investment or financial advice. James Bollen is the author of Thriving Solo: How to Flourish and Live Your Perfect Life (Without A Soulmate). Now available in paperback and for the Kindle on Amazon. Subscribe to Secure Single’s Substack for free!
As everything becomes more centralized, people have become reliant on institutions. Despite declining trust in institutions from the government to banks, people still rely on them. A return to self-reliance is needed to transition away from these institutions’ control over everything from the education system to the financial system. There are seven ways how you can become more self-reliant.
A Return To Self-Reliance
The Problem With Centralized Systems
The problem with centralized systems is that they create a single point of failure. The financial system relies upon the banks and the stock market to always be accessible. Another problem is how reliant everything has become on the government. The medical system has also become heavily centralized, with a limited number of hospitals in areas. Food has also become centralized, with large grocery store chains controlling most of the food people can purchase. If anything were to happen to any of these institutions, would you be prepared to survive or get through on your own? Would you have a community around you to help you survive?
7 Ways How To Become More Self-Reliant
There are many ways how you can become more self-sufficient. Here are seven ways how you can begin to become more self-reliant.
Gardening And Raising Animals
Learning to garden and raise your animals is the first way to become self-reliant. You could plant a small garden. You could grow some vegetables on your patio or try a vertical garden. You could also raise some small animals like rabbits or chickens. You will get protein and vegetables from a garden and animals.
Know Your Farmers And Ranchers
If you don’t have enough space to start a garden or to raise animals, your second option is to get to know your local farmers and ranchers. You go to your local farmer’s market. You can build relationships with the farmers and ranchers where you live. You could buy a whole, half, or quarter cow to stock up on beef for the year to become less reliant on grocery stores. You can build a relationship with your local farmer and have fresh vegetables delivered to you.
You can find local farmers and ranchers in your area with Local Harvest. Local Harvest can show you where the closest farmers’ market, farmers, and ranchers are near you.
Passive Income Streams
The third way is to work to build passive income streams. There are many ways to make passive income streams today with the Internet. You can self-publish a book. You can do affiliate marketing on a website. You can run advertisements on a website or YouTube Channel. You can sell digital courses. You can sell merchandise. There are lots of ways that you can make passive income. The only limit is yourself and your imagination.
When you build enough passive income streams, you will begin to have passive revenue coming into your business if you have set up a business. This will put you on the Business side of the ESBI Quadrant. You can then reinvest that money into another business or invest it in the stock market, real estate, and other investments that generate cash flow.
Investments Outside Of The System
You can also hold some of your money outside of the fiat money system. This could be in precious metals. Gold has been money for thousands of years. Silver has been used for barter and trading. You will want to hold precious metals in your possession.
Cryptocurrencies are another option. While cryptocurrency is a highly speculative asset class, SEC Chair Gensler affirms that Bitcoin is a commodity. Monero is another option for a more well-known privacy coin. Similar to precious metals, it is not your crypto if you don’t hold the keys. You want to keep any crypto you may have off of exchanges.
If you have a garden and some animals, you may also be able to trade those for things you need with people to be outside of the system. You could trade chicken eggs for something you need from a neighbor. You could trade fruits or vegetables as well. You could barter with others to get the things you need in case of SHTF.
Solar And Generators As Backup
You can get solar and generators for backup if the power goes out. Solar may be more optimal depending on the climate where you live. You can then have a gas or diesel generator for backup. You have either or both to keep your electricity running in case of a power outage or if something worse happens. This is another way to become more self-reliant.
Like-Minded Community
You can meet like-minded people in your area. You could do this through MeetUp, Facebook groups, or a website that helps facilitate meeting people with similar interests. If you are into self-reliance and preparedness, you can look for groups that are into that. You could also learn from people only in a virtual community. When SHTF, you want to know who you can trust and rely on. Those people will be part of your like-minded community.
Have A Plan B
Finally, you can have a Plan B. This could be having a bugout place. It could also be having a second residency or passport in another country.
A bugout place could be off-grid. It could have solar and gas generators for backup. You could use this in case of an emergency or SHTF scenario. It could also be used to escape the hustle and bustle of the cities and everyday life. It could be a way to get back in touch with nature.
Another option is getting a second residency or passport in another country. You will have to research to determine which country you would enjoy and which meets your personal and business needs. Having a Plan B is a form of insurance. You hope that you never will need to use it, but if you do, you will be happy that you have it.
Conclusion
These seven ways are a good starting point, no matter why you want to become more self-reliant. You want to find people who think like you. You also want to have a backup in case the power goes out. Consider making a bugout spot or getting a second passport for political diversification.
Views expressed in this article are the author’s opinions and do not necessarily reflect the views of Secure Single. It is intended for informational and educational purposes only. It is not investment or financial advice. James Bollen is the author of Thriving Solo: How to Flourish and Live Your Perfect Life (Without A Soulmate). Now available in paperback and for the Kindle on Amazon. Subscribe to Secure Single’s Substack for free!
MeToo is often viewed as the best thing to happen to women since feminism. The negatives of MeToo are often neglected in how it affects the interpersonal relationships between men and women. Here are seven ways how MeToo ruined dating and relationships between men and women.
How MeToo Ruined Dating
What is Gynocentrism?
To understand what led to MeToo, you first must be aware of gynocentrism. Gynocentrism is the foundation of feminism. It is the foundation of modern western culture.
“[Gynocentrism] is a worldview based on the implicit or explicit belief that the world revolves around women. It is therefore the counterpart of androcentrism, a worldview based on the implicit or explicit belief that the world revolves around men. Our point was that gynocentrism has become de rigueur behind the scenes in law courts and government bureaucracies, which has resulted in systemic discrimination against men.” [p. 309] (Katherine K. Young and Paul Nathanson, Legalizing Misandry, 2006)
In brief, gynocentrism is the belief that men must sacrifice themselves for women. Of course, that will look different for each man, but it will require men to sacrifice their manhood, jobs, careers, and masculinity at the altar of the gynocentric social order. It is vital to understand gynocentrism and what a gynocentric society is since single men now live in a society that has built a worldview around gynocentrism.
Related – The Myth of Toxic Masculinity in a Gynocentric Social Order
7 Ways How MeToo Ruined Dating
For singles who may be interested in dating, here are seven ways how MeToo has ruined dating.
Dysfunctional Male And Female Relationships
[bctt tweet=”Feminism, and MeToo, have contributed to dysfunctional relationships between men and women.” via=”no”]
Feminism has further divided men and women. MeToo was a way to get rid of trial by jury. Instead of having a fair trial under the law, people were told to trust women. It has negatively affected relationships between men and women. If a man said something or did anything that may come across as wrong, he would be MeTooed. It would not be tried with evidence to see if the story that was told happened by looking at the evidence. This negatively affects due process and the rule of law. It is no wonder some men avoid women in the United States. It is directly a result of feminism and MeToo. It has destroyed the relationships between men and women.
Made Men Not Want To Approach Women
MeToo has made it so that men do not want to approach women any more. Today, a man can be called “creepy” simply for smiling at a woman. Smiling is simply body language signaling that someone is happy and not dangerous. If something as passive as a smile is now taken to mean that a man has bad intentions by women, then men won’t take more active actions like buying a drink at a bar.
Women may find it curious why men are no longer approaching them but are now avoiding them. It is because they are aware of the message that society says about men now that some women believe. Men will not take unnecessary risks when even doing something nice for a woman could result in a false allegation against them. MeToo ruined dating.
False Allegations
With MeToo and the advent of ‘Believe Women,” it is now guilty until proven innocent rather than innocent until proven guilty under the law. The counterpart to “Believe Women” is “disbelieve men?” It is because it was always about women. It is a gynocentric worldview and narrative.
It now goes against the feminist narrative if someone says they did not do what they were alleged to do. If they want to go to court, it is seen as covering up what they supposedly are being blamed for, even when they have not been convicted. These false allegations are allowed since they encourage and prop up the narrative of MeToo. It is now the court of public opinion rather than the rule of law.
Destroyed The Rule Of Law
MeToo has also done away with the rule of law. The rule of law is more important than the court of public opinion. Public opinion can change from day to day. It can vary depending on what propaganda the mainstream media is pushing and telling people to believe. The rule of law is supposed to be objective and protect people’s rights. This is no longer due process. There is no longer a rule of law. There is now only the court of public opinion.
It was innocent until proven guilty. It is now guilty until proven innocent, as with MeToo. It is no longer a fair trial before a court. It is now an emotional trial in the court of public opinion.
Related – 15 Legitimate Reasons Why Single Men Are Choosing To Stay Single And Are Giving Up On Women
Ruin Men’s Careers
MeToo has been used as a way to ruin men’s careers. All it takes is one false allegation from a woman to say the man did something to destroy someone’s career. This can be done now through the court of public opinion over social media, which is different from the rule of law. But, if enough eyeballs see it and enough people believe it, then it must be true.
If it makes women feel validated and get their fifteen seconds of fame and the expense of ruining a man’s career, they will have no problem doing it.
Women may be wondering why men are cautious around them. Men are aware that women can destroy their careers with an allegation that may or may not be accurate. These false accusations have even led some men to kill themselves because women destroyed their careers. They can do it without due process. This is a consequence of MeToo.
Ruin Men’s Lives
When men lose their careers, which they often value the most, they will often have nothing else to live for. Most men get their value from their work. MeToo women have no problem ruining men’s lives. This could result in men having or committing trauma or suicide. MeToo has no problem going after men, even if it will affect their careers. By trying them in the court of public opinion, they put allegations in the spotlight without proof—just someone’s word and the assumption that they are being honest.
In 2018, Genpact India’s assistant vice-president committed suicide after he was suspended on allegations of sexual harassment. Mike Tunison was added to the Shitty Media Men List, lost his career, and contemplated suicide after the false allegations against him. It seems women don’t have any problems ruining men’s lives if it will get them in the limelight for their fifteen seconds of fame.
Feminism Makes Women Stay Single
One of feminism’s goals is to make women equal to men in everything. In doing that, women gave up viewing their femininity as a positive. Women want to work their way up in their careers just like men. Western women are no longer interested in embracing their femininity. In wanting to become equal to men, they indirectly became men by making men their ideal. Feminism has made women unfeminine.
In choosing to go along with feminism, they lost what made women, well, women. They have given up on the female virtues. It is now looked down upon for a woman to want to be a mother and be able to take care of the house, children, and be a mother.
Women stay single longer because they don’t know how to do the basic things that make them attractive to men. The most basic is being feminine. Next is not knowing how to take care of the house and children while the husband works (if they can, but it has become more difficult to work one job by design). The Federal Reserve has intentionally destroyed the middle class.
Conclusion
MeToo has ruined dating. It has also destroyed relationships between men and women. In wanting complete equality and wanting to have their cake and eat it, too, feminists eradicated things as simple as non-verbal communication to something as complex as the legal system. Women should not be surprised if men choose to avoid them. As a result, feminism contributes to men and women staying single longer because it has portrayed men as monsters.
Views expressed in this article are the author’s opinions and do not necessarily reflect the views of Secure Single. It is intended for informational and educational purposes only. It is not investment or financial advice. James Bollen is the author of Thriving Solo: How to Flourish and Live Your Perfect Life (Without A Soulmate). Now available in paperback and for the Kindle on Amazon. Subscribe to Secure Single’s Substack for free!
Why are people staying single longer? A recent demographic survey found that more single people are now in the United States than last year! Singles are a rising demographic in 2022. There are five reasons people stay single longer.
Single Demographics 2022
[bctt tweet=”People are staying single longer.” via=”no”]
Society portrays being single as a bad time of life. Society says that single is a dirty word. The reality is that being single is wonderful. It does not matter why you may be single. There is nothing wrong with being single! Singles are a rising demographic! According to the United States Census Bureau, singles were nearly 50% of adults in the United States in 2022. That equals roughly 127 million people! Singles are a rising demographic. People are staying single longer.
What Could Be The Reasons Why People Are Staying Single Longer?
What are some of the main reasons people stay single longer? While people may be single for many different reasons, here are five reasons that could make people stay single longer.
Debt
America has a debt-based financial system. Younger generations, from Millennials to younger generations, have gone into debt for things previous generations took for granted. An example is a college education. Millennials were encouraged to go to college. This only put most of them into debt. They get used to being in debt. They accept it as normal. The education system does not teach people the basics of money. Most people need to learn the basics of money so they don’t end up in debt.
They then get into debt which affects other areas of their lives. Common types of unsecured debt that most Americans have include credit cards, medical bills, personal loans, car loans, and student loans. Unsecured debt is a type of debt that is not backed by an asset. In contrast, secured debt is backed by an asset such as a house. These two types of debt may be referred to as good and bad debt. When money must go towards paying off debt, that is less money you can save or invest.
Rising Cost Of Living
The cost of living continues to go up from groceries to real estate. It is now becoming expensive to live, let alone to consider living with another person and potentially starting a family. Add to this the rising costs from inflation that the Federal Reserve says decreased to 7.7% in October. Shadow Stats estimates inflation to be closer to 17.15%. That is the highest in 75 years!
Homeownership is the gateway for how people traditionally begin to build wealth. For most people, most of their wealth is in their house. Millennials and younger generations have been priced out of being able to afford a home. The rising interest rates are making it more difficult to afford a mortgage.
Groceries are becoming more expensive. Rents continue to rise. Utilities continue are continuing to rise. Gas and diesel are continuing to get more expensive. Gas and diesel are input costs that directly affect the prices of goods and services since it is needed to deliver them to stores. The bottom line is that the cost of living continues to rise in the United States.
Related – 12 Causes Of Millennial Burnout
Wage Stagnation
Wages have stagnated since the 1970s. Americans continue to lose purchasing power. Even a small raise will not beat the current inflation rate if employees get a raise. Combine wage stagnation with the rising cost of living, inflation, and it is becoming tough to keep up. It also makes it hard to get ahead. If someone has difficulty providing for themselves, they won’t want to consider providing for another person or want to have a family.
Dysfunctional Male And Female Relationships
Feminism has further divided men and women. MeToo was a way to get rid of trial by jury. Instead of having a fair trial under the law, people were told to trust women. It has negatively affected relationships between men and women. If a man said something or did anything that may come across as wrong, he would be MeTooed. It would not be tried with evidence to see if the story that was told happened by looking at the evidence. This negatively affects due process and the rule of law.
Related – 7 Ways How MeToo Ruined Dating
The rule of law is more important than the court of public opinion. Public opinion can change from day to day. It can vary depending on what propaganda the mainstream media is pushing and telling people to believe. The rule of law is supposed to be objective and protect people’s rights.
It was innocent until proven guilty. It is now guilty until proven innocent, as with MeToo. It is no longer a fair trial before a court. It is now an emotional trial in the court of public opinion.
Women may be wondering why men are cautious around them. Men are aware that women can now destroy their careers with an allegation that may or may not be accurate. These types of false accusations have even led some men to kill themselves because women destroyed their careers. They can do it without due process. This is a consequence of MeToo.
MeToo destroyed dating. Men know that if they look at a woman wrong or even smile at a woman, they may be accused of sexual harassment. Some men may not risk approaching women when they know that a woman can ruin their reputation, career, and entire life if a woman accuses them of sexual harassment.
It is no wonder some men now avoid women in the United States. It is directly a result of feminism and MeToo. It has destroyed the relationships between men and women.
Related – What Is Gynocentrism?
Related – The Myth Of Toxic Masculinity In A Gynocentric Social Order
Related – 15 Legitimate Reasons Why Single Men Are Choosing To Stay Single And Are Giving Up On Women
Fueling The Flames Of Division
[bctt tweet=”Divide and conquer is an age-old strategy of dividing people against themselves. It is a way to make people blame others rather than blaming their rulers.” via=”no”]
It is no longer the United States of America. It is now the Divided States of America. It has become more challenging to have a rational conversation with someone on topics you may or may not agree on. Emotions have become more important than logic. This has led to an overly emotional society. Rationality is gone. Today, you are either on one side of an issue or viewed as an enemy. This is dangerous. America is now a divided country.
Isms and ists rule the day. If someone does not agree with you, they will label you with the popular ism or ist of the day. Popular ad hominem labels include sexist, misogynist, racist, and bigot. This only creates further division among people.
Since no one will ever fully agree with another person on every issue, meeting and getting along with people is becoming more difficult. People have become more politically polarized because of identity politics. People are naturally tribal, but this polarization fuels the flames of division.
Conclusion
These are the five main reasons why people stay single. Economic breakdown, financial instability, broken relationships between men and women, broken social fabric, and the rule of law have become unstable in the United States. Without certainty, people will look after themselves first. Self-interest and self-preservation are natural human instincts. This negatively impacts singles who may want to date or marry. This creates uncertainty which may make people choose to be single longer. After all, why plan for your future if you can’t afford a house or cannot move up in society?
Views expressed in this article are the author’s opinions and do not necessarily reflect the views of Secure Single. It is intended for informational and educational purposes only. It is not investment or financial advice. James Bollen is the author of Thriving Solo: How to Flourish and Live Your Perfect Life (Without A Soulmate). Now available in paperback and for the Kindle on Amazon. Subscribe to Secure Single’s Substack for free!
Why do you need to be aware of gynocentrism when it has become accepted as the prevailing view in modern society? It can help you better understand how current society functions and operates. This can help you to make better decisions and choices when dealing with others while navigating your way through modern society.
What Is Gynocentrism?
What is Gynocentrism? Gynocentrism (noun) is the “Dominant or exclusive focus on women in theory or practice; or to the advocacy of this. Sometimes practiced to the detriment of non-females.” Gynocentric (adjective) is “Anything can be considered gynocentric when it is concerned exclusively with a female (or specifically a feminist) point of view.” In sociology, Gynocentrism is “A pervasive cultural complex geared to prioritizing women and their interests.” The Oxford English Dictionary defines gynocentric (adjective) as “Centered on or concerned exclusively with women; taking a female (or specifically a feminist) point of view.”
“[Gynocentrism] is a worldview based on the implicit or explicit belief that the world revolves around women. It is, therefore, the counterpart of androcentrism, a worldview based on the implicit or explicit belief that the world revolves around men. Our point was that Gynocentrism has become de rigueur behind the scenes in law courts and government bureaucracies, which has resulted in systemic discrimination against men.” [p. 309] (Katherine K. Young and Paul Nathanson, Legalizing Misandry, 2006)
This worldview leads to gynocentric feminism. It creates a gynocentric social order.
In brief, gynocentrism is the belief that men must sacrifice themselves for women. Of course, that will look different for each man. Gynocentrism requires men to sacrifice their manhood, jobs, careers, and masculinity at the altar of the gynocentric social order. It is vital to understand Gynocentrism and what a gynocentric society is since single men find themselves now living in a society today that is built on the gynocentric worldview.
Related – 15 Legitimate Reasons Why Men Are Choosing To Stay Single Longer And Are Giving Up On Women
5 Problems With Gynocentrism
Women Must Be Able To Do Everything Men Can Do
Gynocentrism pushes women to go into all areas of life, especially where men have often been prominent. It is now looked down upon for a woman to want to become a wife or want to stay home if she may get married. It is better to work their way up in a career than men. Women can do everything a man can do. They can do anything and everything better than men! This view makes women compare themselves to men. There can be no differences between men and women. Men and women cannot have unique strengths or weaknesses in modern society. Men and women cannot have different roles in society. Women must be equal to men in every way.
Related – More Women Want To Be Single: Why We’re Leaving Behind The Age-Old Tradition Of Marriage
Changes The Values Of A Society
The values of a society change from emphasizing what have been more male virtues of courage, strength, risk, and honor to feminine values of cooperation and tolerance. A society based upon cooperation and tolerance places equality above all else. A society that only continues to make everyone equal will eventually become a poor society. Each person is innately different, coming from a unique background and offering different sets of skills. Yet, gynocentrism wants to make everyone equal, which means that some people can’t have a nicer house, work a better-paying job, or live what is perceived as a better job. Everyone must be equal, which means they must be equally poor.
Women place a priority on safety over taking risks. There is nothing wrong with that, but risk leads to innovation. Suppose a culture is a risk-averse culture. In that case, it will remain stagnant and fall behind other countries that do not have problems with risk. Those countries recognize that is how the next discovery or invention is made.
Instead of tension between the natural masculine and feminine natures within society, modern society pressures people to embrace feminism and everything that goes along with it. If someone does not embrace feminism or disagrees with aspects of it, they are automatically labeled as a misogynist or said they are an enemy of progress. This further breaks down society because people can no longer have disagreements or different views on issues. If someone disagrees about something, they are automatically attacked rather than being able to have a rational discussion on or about a topic. That is what we see today with identity politics.
Related – The Myth Of Toxic Masculinity In A Gynocentric Social Order
Changes The Structure Of Society
Women wanted to do everything that men were required to do. In the past, men were required to provide for their families. Now, women can do that themselves. Women can now do that by going to college as men can. Women now outnumber men in college admissions. The majors that colleges now emphasize are usually what has been associated with being of interest to women. The degrees women get from colleges are most often in soft majors, not hard majors like STEM studies, compared to men. The majors that women most often choose are the ones that have a lower earning potential. Men are now losing interest in college and were estimated to “represent only 41 percent of college enrollees” by 2020.
Creates An Emotional Society
A society that is built around gynocentrism will become an emotional society. This is because women are more emotional than men. Two main reasons are biologically related to hormones, and women’s brains differ from men’s. Men use the left side of their brains more, while women have a stronger corpus callosum than men.
If a society becomes built around women and emphasizes all things woman, it will become a more emotional society. It will place empathy, compassion, and feelings over becoming the best at something. This has implications related to areas such as military and national defense. Society will then normalize that people can be whatever they want to identify with because that is how they feel. Biology does not matter. Emotions control society and all areas of life.
Creates A Victim Mentality Within Society
As emotion and equality reign supreme over logic and hard work, people in society begin to adopt a victim mentality. Instead of thinking that they must work for what they want or have, they start to believe that it is unfair that they don’t have what others have. They then want to find ways to deal with this natural inequality by asking the government to tax successful people and redistribute their money and give it to them.
A victim mentality makes someone remain stuck. It does not allow people to grow and develop into a better version of themselves. They will blame others or things for where they are in life instead of accepting personal responsibility for their actions and choices.
Related – Powerful #MeToo Awareness Goes Viral on Social Media
Related – 3 Ways Women Can Fight Back After #MeToo
Conclusion
Gynocentrism is the predominant worldview of modern society. If a man, or even a woman, says anything negative about feminism or that there are differences between men and women, they will likely get canceled. Modern society has become emotional. This can be traced back to gynocentrism which encompasses every aspect and area of modern society today.
Views expressed in this article are the author’s opinions and do not necessarily reflect the views of Secure Single. It is intended for informational and educational purposes only. It is not investment or financial advice. James Bollen is the author of Thriving Solo: How to Flourish and Live Your Perfect Life (Without A Soulmate). Now available in paperback and for the Kindle on Amazon. Subscribe to Secure Single’s Substack for free!
Why do people continue to vote when they complain and get frustrated by politicians? I originally got a political science degree because I thought politics made a difference. After a few election cycles, I have concluded that my vote does not matter. Here are fifteen reasons why I no longer vote.
15 Reasons Why I No Longer Vote
Statistically Insignificant
[bctt tweet=”Your vote is statistically insignificant. That is the reality. ” via=”no”]
Political campaigns market to their constituents by saying things like “you’re vote matters” and “one vote makes all the difference.” But is that really true? If you look statistically at the data. Their argument does not hold up. A vote may make a difference between three friends deciding where to go for dinner. Each person has an opportunity to become a swing vote to decide where to go out to dinner. It is less statistically significant when your vote is one among thousands or millions of votes cast for an election.
In 2020, 61% of Americans voted in the Presidential Election. The current American population is just over 335 million. That breaks down to 21,350,000 people voted in 2020. One vote gets lost among the millions of votes cast. It even gets lost among the thousands to millions of votes that may be cast in local-to-state elections. That is what I mean when I say voting is statistically insignificant.
Related – A Return To Questioning Authority
External Distraction
Politics is an external distraction. It is a way to distract the masses from choosing a political side. This is a clever strategy to keep people from focusing on improving themselves. They instead want a politician to solve their issues. Politicians only make things worse for the common person.
Political Theater
Politics is another form of theater. It is more entertaining to watch than movies or television. The titles of the bills usually pass do the opposite of what they are marketed to the people as doing. Case in point, the Inflation Reduction Act will do precisely the opposite. It is merely an excuse for the government to print more money, creating inflation! The ridiculous things politicians get away with saying are worse than badly written soap operas.
Are Politicians Idiots Or Evil? Pick Your Poison
After 2020, more people should be asking themselves a straightforward question. Are politicians idiots or evil? Politicians and government agencies like the CDC caused economic and financial terrorism by forcing small businesses to shut down and people to remain in their homes. At the same time, multinational corporations like Amazon were able to stay open. Never forget the lives, incomes lost, businesses destroyed, and the mental health of everyday people that politicians ruined in the name of “15 days to slow the spread.” On top of that, politicians of both parties like Ted Cruz, Dr. Deborah Birx, Governor Newsom, Austin Mayor Steve Adler, and other politicians broke their covid restrictions to do something that you or I were told not to do. But are they rules when there are two sets of rules? There is one set of rules for politicians and the ruling class. There is then a second set of rules for common people.
Personality Type That Goes Into To Politics
Politics attracts a particular personality type. The actions by politicians over the last two years should not be a surprise. I know this on a close level because I had a former friend who was involved in politics. He helped a campaign for a 2016 political candidate. He seemed to have connections with people who were a few degrees away from key political players and people in political news. He told me that behind closed doors, all the people who put up a friendly façade for people have some type of vice that, if it were found, people would lose respect for them. He then told me that if it was found out that he told me about this, he wasn’t sure what would happen to him. Sounds like House of Cards to me.
Politicians, at the end of the day, only care about getting reelected. This means they only care about power. They have no problem crushing the ordinary person to maintain and keep their power.
While politicians don’t produce anything, they can get away with insider trading. Glenn Greenwald found that Nancy and Paul Pelosi were making millions in stock trades in companies she actively regulated. Don’t worry. Republicans like Dan Crenshaw and Austin Scott play the same insider trading games. If we did that, we’d be thrown in jail. It’s OK for politicians to do. The public accepts it as normal behavior too!
The bottom line is that the bigger government gets the personality, it will attract those who only care about power. That means that politics naturally attracts sociopaths and psychopaths.
Politicians Don’t Produce Anything
Politicians don’t produce anything of value, yet people are in awe of politicians. Politicians don’t produce any goods or services that better the lives of people. They only write and argue over passing laws that make people’s lives worse.
Waste Of Time
It is a waste of my time to look into each political candidate. It wastes my time to figure out their position on issues. Once a politician is elected, I can’t control how they vote or why they voted a certain way. They vote on issues or problems I don’t have any control over. It is not worth my time to worry about it.
Can’t Control The Outcome
Since I can’t control how a politician is, I can’t control the political outcome. I can’t control the outcome of whom people vote for, so there is no point for me in using my time to fill out a ballot. It is out of my control.
Can’t Control Politicians
I also am unable to control the politician. I can’t handle what politician does after getting elected behind open or closed doors to pass laws and regulations. I can’t hold who a politician meets with. I can’t control who will influence a politician’s decision. It will likely be from a special interest group or a lobbyist. It will have more influence than your vote in deciding the outcome of a bill that politicians are trying to pass or kill. There is a revolving door between politicians and big business. The nicer, more politically correct term thrown around today calls it a public-private partnership between the government and private businesses. The real name for that is fascism. Welcome to America!
The Myth Of The Greater Good
[bctt tweet=”Politicians are people just like you or me. To think that they would give up their natural self-interest is childish thinking. There is no such thing as a public servant.” via=”no”]
Politicians push the lie of the greater good. The greater good is a fallacy. The myth enables them to pull the wool over people’s eyes. It sounds good to think there is a greater good if people all work together towards something, but that is not reality. There is always more than one option that politicians present to voters.
The Myth Of Politicians As Public Servants
Politicians are not public servants. They will always look out for themselves and put their self-interest first, just like anyone else, to get ahead and get what they want. For American politics, that will mean amassing fortunes without producing anything while also working to gain ever more political power. Self-interest is natural to humans. To think that a politician would not let go of self-interest for the “common good” or to help their political constituents is childish thinking.
Voting Is A Vote To Support The Current System
In its most basic form, voting means accepting the current system. It also says that you acknowledge that you are okay with there being a ruling class over you. Who is this ruling class? It is made up of politicians, bureaucrats, and unelected officials in government agencies. Politicians of either party always like to say that the United States will end if the other party gets elected. I admit that I am bearish in the United States, but I don’t see a political solution to solving the problems in the United States. America is a declining and collapsing empire. Remember, Rome did not fall in a night. It took time.
Casting A Vote Means You Support Having Someone Rule Over You
When you cast a vote for a politician, you support being ruled over by another person. It does not matter what the party affiliation is of the politician. I refuse to let someone rule over me. The current economic and political system has already made it difficult enough for young people to be able to get ahead and become successful.
Related – 12 Causes Of Millennial Burnout
Passing Off Your Responsibility To Someone Else
When you think that your vote matters and that politicians make a difference, you pass off your responsibility to someone else. You are then hoping they will be able to make a big enough difference within the bloated political system of elected and unelected officials.
Focus On What I Can Control
[bctt tweet=”It is best to focus on things that you can control: health, relationships, and money. I cannot control politicians. ” via=”no”]
Ultimately, politics is a distraction that takes me away from the things I have control over. I cannot control if the taxes will go up or down. I cannot control if they will vote this way or that way on a social issue. Instead of filling out a ballot or listening to what a politician is saying at a rally, I would rather spend that time working to improve myself. That means working to better myself by being healthy, exercising, improving my social skills, and finding ways to build up my net worth. Anything that takes away from those things, especially politics, wastes my time. If more people had thought like this, they would have vastly improved their own lives and the lives of others instead of waiting on politicians for solutions.
Conclusion
Politicians do not deserve my respect. They are the last people I trust to get a job done successfully. They are professional liars. Politicians only make things worse by creating more laws, regulations, and rules that people must try not to break. They make it harder for small business owners to allocate capital by passing new tax regulations. Politicians are the last people I want to spend time with, get a drink with, or do anything with because they make my life more complex and the life of the everyday person more difficult.
Views expressed in this article are the author’s opinions and do not necessarily reflect the views of Secure Single. It is intended for informational and educational purposes only. It is not investment or financial advice. James Bollen is the author of Thriving Solo: How to Flourish and Live Your Perfect Life (Without A Soulmate). Now available in paperback and for the Kindle on Amazon. Subscribe to Secure Single’s Substack for free!
Why are many Millennials feeling frustrated and experiencing burnout? What is causing Millennial burnout? Millennials came of age during a critical time of transition, yet most were encouraged to follow the traditional path their parents and society told them to go down. Here are the twelve main causes that have contributed to Millennial burnout.
12 Causes Of Millennial Burnout
College
[bctt tweet=”Millennials cannot enjoy the same quality of life that past generations have enjoyed, from being able to buy a house to dealing with wage stagnation making them unable to get ahead.” via=”no”]
Millennials were told by their parents, high school college placement, college recruiters, and society to attend college. That is how it always had been done to become successful, they were told. They spent five figures at minimum to go to college. The price of college admission does not include buying books, living in dorms, and having to buy food for meals at the college cafeteria, grocery store, or eating out.
More money will be spent on the higher education system if someone decides to graduate from school or further. They will likely have more student loans to repay once they enter the workforce. The Economic Policy Institute in chart five shows that the “real average hourly wages of young college graduates, 1989 -2014” have been falling since 2000. There is no reason for young people to go to college today, given the better options that technology now offers that make the higher education system obsolete.
Coming Of Age During An Evolving Workforce
Millennials came of age during the evolving workforce. Jobs and more opportunities were beginning to transition from in-person to online. Some may not have been aware of this transition because they were in college, which was still pushing the outdated workforce. When Millennials were in their best years, in their twenties, websites and YouTube became popular hobbies or ways to create income.
Gig Jobs
Most Millennials have probably worked some gig job. These jobs are often thought of as temporary jobs until you can get an actual job working for a company or start your own business. Gig jobs can also be side hustles to generate additional income alongside a regular job. Still, most of the most well-known ones, like driving for Uber or Lyft, or delivering food for GrubHub or UberEats, won’t pay enough if you work fifty hours a week. I know from experience that I did food deliveries for GrubHub while in graduate school. You are also responsible for paying for your gas and anything extra that you may need to make the job easier.
Related – Life As A Single Woman Uber Driver [The Gig Economy Experience]
Unable To Get A Traditional Career
[bctt tweet=”The traditional job of working your way up for an employer and having a career is now a myth. The career is dead.” via=”no”]
Due to sending millions of jobs overseas and technology replacing jobs with robots and artificial intelligence, Millennials now must compete against humans and technology. A robot does not need to sleep. It does not need to eat. It can work twenty-four hours, seven days a week. They cannot get started on what has been thought of as a traditional career even though they are the most educated generation because most went to college only to get into debt and receive an overpriced piece of paper.
Millennials have become accustomed to jobs that are non-traditional jobs out of necessity. They will often work gig jobs to make some extra money. They may do freelancing part-time to full-time or do freelancing as a side hustle. They may find others side jobs or side hustles to make ends meet. The most successful found ways to make their side hustle into their full-time things and find ways to make money outside of a traditional job. As a result, they have been unable to get a regular job that is widely accepted as being thought of as normal by their parents or society.
Because of working non-traditional jobs, their resume does not match what employers expect. They may often receive weird remarks about their resume because it does not fit the nice box employers want. Thus, it makes it more difficult for Millennials to get what may be considered a traditional job because employers still have an old mindset of what a good resume looks like. This is true even if someone today has a bachelor’s and a graduate degree. I have experienced these types of remarks from interviews with employers.
Unemployed Or Underemployment
Millennials experience unemployment or underemployment. According to CNBC, “the number of employed young people making less than $25,000 a year has spiked significantly to the highest levels than a quarter century.” Millennials are generally tech-savvy, yet those skills and knowledge are often underutilized. Most, for whatever reason, may have been unable to get paid their true market worth. If they know what their skills are worth. They had to settle for a job that didn’t fit their skillset or knowledge just to be employed even though they were underemployed. Others may have decided to drop out of the job market since it has become nearly impossible to get ahead and get things previous generations took for granted.
Despite doing what they were told to do by their parents and society, they are unable to get ahead. Let alone make enough money to plan for retirement. The system is broken.
Wage Stagnation
Wage stagnation has been a problem since the 1970s for the upcoming generations as “the value of the dollar paid to employees has slowed compared to overall economic productivity.” One job can no longer cover most bills of Americans who live paycheck to paycheck. While most jobs that follow the career path are unable to keep up with wage stagnation, this becomes even more of the case, working multiple jobs that are essentially entry-level service jobs in the app economy. With the rise of inflation, the mainstream media is now beginning to catch on that American workers are taking on second jobs. With wage stagnation, rising inflation, expensive real estate, the gutting of the American economy, and the cost of living in one of the most expensive countries in the world, Millennials have been forced to find alternative routes to make enough money to survive.
Related – 30 Reasons For The Great Resignation
Real Estate
Real estate costs seem to only get more expensive in the United States. The Motley Fool found that the average home price in the United States is now $428,700. The average monthly mortgage in the United States is now between $2,000 to $3,000, depending on the mortgage type. According to Rent, the average monthly rent in the United States is $1,721 for a one-bedroom apartment. With the rising rent, mortgage, and real estate costs combined with wage stagnation, Millennials are accepting that they may never be able to buy a house of their own.
Home Ownership
Home ownership is a foundation for building wealth. Millennials and younger generations have been closed out from being unable to access this critical life milestone due to wage stagnation, the cost of living, and the rising cost of real estate. Millennials are becoming a generation of renters. Those who want to own a house may have to look for options outside the United States.
Related – Welcome To The Circus: Bread, Circuses, And Debt Traps
Social Media
Millennials grew up with social media. Social media lets users connect with people online rather than meeting people in person. It has also made it easier for them to compare themselves to others. It has also led to a rise in social isolation and loneliness.
Related – The Loneliness Epidemic And The Social Media Paradox
Debt
As a result of the rising cost of living and inability to get jobs that pay well, Millennials have often gone into debt. Millennials were encouraged to go into debt to get an overpriced college degree. According to CNBC, “the average millennial consumer has about $27,251 in non-mortgage debt, and millennial homeowners have an average mortgage balance of $232,372.” Debt can add to the stress.
Stress
There are many causes of stress. Financial stress is a common problem that often goes overlooked. Getting married is another common cause. Fear and uncertainty increase stress levels. Emotional issues such as low self-confidence, low self-self-esteem, guilt, anger, grief, anxiety, and depression also can add to the stress.
Staying Single Longer
It is no surprise that younger generations, such as the Millennials, are delaying marriage and staying single longer. While people may be single for many reasons, the economic and financial consequences play a significant role in why many Millennials remain single. They cannot afford to buy a house, which is often the first step to the financial stability needed to begin to consider getting married. There are social, economic, and political ramifications to a country when people remain single for more extended or lifelong singles.
Solutions
[bctt tweet=”Many creative solutions are available today, but you need to be open to going against the grain and stop listening to the failed system. ” via=”no”]
While Millennials may be experiencing burnout, there are always options and solutions. Here are five solutions for Millennials to work to improve their life if they are dealing with burnout.
Minimalism
Live a minimalist lifestyle. Do you need all the gadgets, subscriptions, or things you have? Instead of always buying the latest things or trying to keep up with the Joneses, you can simplify your life. A minimalist lifestyle is living with and using only the things that you need. You may not need ten different versions of the same shirt. You may not always need to get the latest iPhone. It will also help you to save money since you will become less consumeristic.
Related – What Is Minimalism? 30 Benefits Of Living A Minimalist Lifestyle
Meditation
Meditation is a way to deal with stress. It could be doing something as simple as doing some breathing exercises for a few minutes a day. You could also do yoga or prayer. You can practice mindfulness. It will depend on what you are trying to achieve through meditation. Learn to relax. Find peace, even if it’s only for a few minutes during your day.
Related – 5 Health Benefits Of Meditation And Why Singles Should Meditate During The Holiday Season
Learn An In-Demand Skill
You could learn in-demand skills in the areas of technology, trade skills, and business skills. Some examples of technology skills include digital marketing, data analytics, computer programming, cybersecurity, robotics, and artificial intelligence. Trade skills in demand include construction, plumbing, electrical technician, automotive technician, physical therapy, and medical laboratory tech. Business skills include being able to manage people, finding new ways to generate income streams, problem-solving, and being persistent. The reality is that hard skills matter the most, yet those are the very skills that they don’t teach students in college.
Online Business
You could decide to start an online business. An online business will allow you to find creative ways to build multiple income streams. It will also allow you to work from anywhere in the world. You need a website, an email list to build your core audience, products, and services to sell to your customers. You can add social media later to reach more people further to grow an online business. Once you have a few products, physical or digital, you can then have passive coming in that you can reinvest to expand the business, reinvest into another business, invest in another financial asset, or pay yourself once the business is making enough.
Move To A Less Expensive Country
You could consider moving to a less expensive state or country if you can work remotely, freelancer, or own an online business. Instead of having to pay $400,000 for an entry-level house like in the United States, you may be able to find something comparable in another country for $150,000 or less. You could buy the house or condo in cash instead of paying a mortgage which is standard in the United States. You could buy a second residency and get a second passport in another country. It is essential to have a Plan B strategy.
Conclusion
Millennial burnout is a problem. While Millennials are often presented as being a weak generation, the previous generations often won’t’ acknowledge that they came of age during a period of technological transition and disruption. Millennials have had to adapt to the changing economic and job environments to work to get ahead. Moving abroad may be a viable option for some Millennials since the American Dream is dead. If there ever was a dream to begin with.
Views expressed in this article are the author’s opinions and do not necessarily reflect the views of Secure Single. It is intended for informational and educational purposes only. It is not investment or financial advice. James Bollen is the author of Thriving Solo: How to Flourish and Live Your Perfect Life (Without A Soulmate). Now available in paperback and for the Kindle on Amazon. Subscribe to Secure Single’s Substack for free!
Welcome to the circus! Step right up! Society has devolved into bread and circuses. To make society even worse, there are many debt traps it has laid out for you that you can learn to avoid. Institutions, from the government to the medical system, continue to see the public lose trust in them. Singles can focus on themselves instead of on society’s bread and circuses while growing their wealth by avoiding debt traps.
Welcome To The Circus: Bread, Circuses, And Debt Traps
Why Do Singles Need To Be Aware Of Society’s Bread, Circuses, and Debt Traps?
Singles must be aware of the many ways that society baits them. Society distracts singles with things, so they waste time scrolling through social media or watching Netflix. Society also ensures that singles never receive enough money, so they remain stuck in society’s breadlines. Singles must be mindful of many clever financial quagmires as they navigate through life.
Recommended Article – Anti-Dating: Dating Is Not The Answer For Singles
Society’s Bread, Circuses, And Debt Traps
Bread
[bctt tweet=”You can live off the bread given to you or find something better by focusing on yourself.” via=”no”]
People are trying to find ways to get by as the bread traps they are given continue to get smaller. Here are five ways people have trouble getting by with society’s scraps.
Can’t Afford Things Past Generations Took For Granted
Many younger people cannot make enough to get by, let alone buy a house. This is a rising problem that can lead to civil unrest. As more people have trouble being able to buy basic things that they need, they can’t afford to buy things past generations took for granted, like home ownership. Younger generations are having trouble getting started in life. This is a consequence of the higher education system. Many went to college because they were told to. They thought that it would make them more desirable to employers.
Rising Cost Of Living
There is also the problem of the rising cost of living. This is especially a problem in the United States and Western countries. It is now nearly impossible for a working-class or middle-class earner to be able to afford to buy their own house. According to CNBC, one reason Millennials have difficulty purchasing a home is student debt. Another reason is that Millennials have to spend thirty percent of their income paying rent. According to Investopedia, another reason Millennials have difficulty buying a home is that it is expensive and no longer affordable. The Saint Louis Fed notes that the median home selling price in 2022 was $440,300. The Zillow Home Value Index puts the average cost of a typical home in the United States at $355,852. According to the U.S. Census Bureau, Millennials are also getting married later, usually a life event that encourages people to buy a home. It is no wonder why people are staying single longer today due to the rising cost of living.
Rent
Rent has become insane. The cost of housing has become ridiculous in the United States. iProperty Management says “the nationwide average monthly rent [in the United States] in 2020 was $1,164 ($1,225 with average rental inflation),” and the “median rent in 2020 was $1,404 ($1,162 adjusted for inflation).” According to Business Insider, “more than 9 million home buyers have been priced out of the market since January [2022].” There is a housing crisis in the United States. Younger generations are getting priced out of this vital way to begin to build wealth. Homeownership is how people build generational wealth. It has been strongly linked to being able to make financial stability. The documentary below explains the housing crisis. The American Dream is dead.
Social Security
The Social Security and Medicare Board of Trustees estimates that the “cost of both programs [Social Security and Medicare] will grow faster than gross domestic product (GDP) through the mid-2030s primarily due to the aging of the U.S. population.” Because of the pandemic, The Bipartisan Policy Center projects that Social Security will be depleted by 2028. This means that the cash reserves will be depleted. The government may decide to increase payroll taxes, which will take even more money directly from your wage or salary to pay for Social Security. For Baby Boomers, this is primarily a problem. It may be best for Millennials and younger to plan their retirement around not having these types of programs.
Rising Inflation
Rising inflation only adds to the problem of the cost of living. While the balance says inflation is around 9%, Shadow Stats indicated inflation is closer to 18%. Inflation is affecting the lives of people. It hurts the middle class to the lower class the most because they are the population that often doesn’t own the assets that do well in inflationary periods. The lower and middle classes bear the burden of paying for the monthly necessities of gas, groceries, rent, and bills. It does not look like inflation will be going away anytime soon.
Circuses
[bctt tweet=”Society distracts you with circuses to prevent you from being productive.” via=”no”]
There are many ways society wants to distract you. These are ways to make you waste your time when you could spend it being productive, from following celebrities to scrolling through social media. Below are five distractions to be aware of that are part of society’s circus act.
Entertainment
Entertainment is the opium of the masses. It is a way to keep people sedated. Entertainment is a way to keep people distracted from more important things. It is just a way to distract you. While it may be nice to relax occasionally, you will never get ahead when you do it too often.
Hollywood
Hollywood and the cult of celebrity is another way to prevent people from being productive. Hollywood distracts you by releasing movies. You can watch films produced by Hollywood that feature a famous actor or actress. The cult of celebrity is a problem. It is also a waste of your time. Why do you care about this person and where they went on vacation?
Television
Television shows are the smaller version of movies. Just like movies, they are a way for you to waste your time watching brainless entertainment. People may become fans of actors or actresses on television shows, a smaller version of the Hollywood cult of celebrity. Study Finds found that “people watch about 3.5 hours of television each day, on average,” which amounts to over seventy-eight thousand hours in their lifetime.
Social Media
Social media is yet another way how you can waste your time. Digital media is made to be addictive. They want to keep you on your platform to generate ad revenue. Social media companies also gather your data to sell to third parties and to use for their purposes. Invideo found that “people watch an average of 16 hours of video every week.” It is also a way for people to show a lifestyle they may or may not be able to afford. Social media makes you compare yourself to other people. Some you may not even know. It is ultimately a distraction and a waste of your time.
Recommended Article – Learn How To Remove Toxic People From Your Life Like An Expert
Recommended Article – The Loneliness Epidemic and Social Media Paradox
Mainstream Media
The news is another way that you can waste your time. The issues that the news covers, from politics to current events, are most likely a waste of your time. Harvard University’s The Future Of Media Project outlines the top players who own news networks that make up the mainstream media. It is essential always to follow the money to understand the agenda being pushed. The mainstream media has seen a rapid decline in viewership as it has experienced a decline in a loss of trust. Americans have lost trust in both newspapers and television news. Think with Google found that “6 out of 10 people prefer online video platforms to live TV.” In the age of the Internet, legacy media is no longer needed and is on the decline.
Debt Traps
There are many debt traps that society has laid out to trap young people. Business Insider states, “the average American has $52,940 worth of debt across mortgage loans, home equity lines of credit, auto loans, credit card debt, student loan debt, and other debts like personal loans.” Beware of debt traps! Here are five debt traps to be aware of.
College
According to Student Loan Hero, “55% of bachelor’s degree recipients took out student loans, graduating with an average of $28,400 in federal and private debt. And 14% of parents with children in the class of 2019 — the latest data available — took out an average of $37,200 in federal parent PLUS loans.” College debt is one of the first types of debt that young people accept to pay because they think it is an investment in their future. The bottom line is that college is not worth going into debt for.
Car Loans
Finder says that “around 35% of American adults were relying on auto loans to pay for a car in 2019, according to a study by the Federal Reserve… By the end of 2019, they owed $19,231 on average — up 25% from 2009.” In total, American consumers owe $1.43 trillion in auto loans. Cars depreciate once you drive them off the lot. However, classic and rare cars can increase in value because they are collectibles.
Credit Card Debt
According to Experian, Americans’ average credit card balance was $5,525 in 2021. The Federal Reserve found that Americans’ outstanding revolving debt was $998.4 billion in July 2021. Experian found that Generation X has the “largest average balance ($7,070 in 2021) among all the generations,” but “Millennials and the fast-growing Generation Z saw their average balances increase in 202.” More Americans continue to go into credit card debt. In 2022 the total credit card debt for Americans’ was $887 billion, which was a “13% increase, the largest year-over-year jump in more than 20 years.” Credit cards are a debt trap, yet many people are addicted to them.
Medical Debt
According to Verywell Health, Americans owe $140 billion in medical debt for their healthcare. One of the more shocking findings by the National Bankruptcy Forum was that “more than 60% of insured Americans with medical bills blow through most or all of their savings.” According to CNBC, “A quarter of Americans owe $10,000 or more in medical debt, even though half of them have health insurance that’s supposed to minimize excessive health-care costs, a new study finds.” The medical system from the insurance companies, hospitals, big pharma, doctors, and therapists are primarily there to put you on prescriptions and medications you most likely don’t need.
Mortgage
While this may go against how most people view a mortgage, a mortgage is a form of debt. You are paying a mortgage monthly to a bank so you can live in your house unless you paid for it outright with cash. Mortgage comes from the old French word morgage, “a conveyance of property on condition as security for a loan or agreement,” which means “death pledge.” A mortgage is a loan. Usha Pradhan writes, “It is a form of debt that is secured by the borrower’s real estate property and usually is for the acquisition of the real estate property that the mortgage is being placed on.” Experian found that “the average mortgage balance in 2021 increased by 5.9% to $220,380, according to Experian data, the largest increase in at least 10 years.” If you want to buy a house, pay upfront with as much cash as you can or buy it outright with cash to avoid this debt trap.
Broken Social Contract
It is no surprise then that people are losing trust in institutions. Indeed, the social contract has been broken. The institutions have broken the trust. Trust, once it is lost, is tough to get back.
What Is The Social Contract?
The social contract is an idea in political philosophy. It argues that a social contract exists between the government or state and individuals. However, the concept of the social contract can be extended into other areas, such as the workplace. The real question is, do you remember signing the social contract? If so, where and when did you sign it?
Loss Of Trust In Institutions
Following a broken social contract, people are losing trust in the institutions. People were raised to believe that society and its institutions were there to help them succeed. On the contrary, the institutions are there to maintain the status quo and to keep the people at the top in power in both the private and public sectors. Here are five key institutions people have lost trust in.
Real Estate
Socar Chatmon-Thomas, who is a realtor in Austin, Texas, told The Guardian, “It’s pissing me off because somebody who went to school, got a degree, or otherwise did everything right and now has a job making $60,000 can’t buy a home” and is a “breach of the social contract.” The Motley Fool found that “home prices in the U.S. increased by 30% from 2020 to 2022,” while the “median home price increased by 416% from 1980 to 2020.” The Zillow Home Value Index puts that typical home price in the United States at $355,852 (up 18.2% over the last year). Since real estate is a crucial way to build wealth and security, people have lost trust in realtors. Since younger people can no longer afford to buy a house of their own, they have to find other solutions. One solution is leaving expensive countries like the United States to live in less expensive countries.
Higher Education System
According to a 2018 Gallup Poll, only 48% of Americans expressed “a great deal” or “quite a lot” of confidence in higher education, “down from 57% in 2015.” There has been a loss of trust in the higher education system for several reasons. First, many people must go into debt to receive a college degree. Second, higher education does not prepare students for life. It teaches people to regurgitate information, be good students, pass a test, and become good employees. Third, the higher education system no longer teaches critical thinking and how students can learn to think for themselves. Fourth, people realize that the most successful people don’t have degrees. They learned by educating themselves through self-education. Finally, the higher education system is going the way of the dinosaur as the university system will be replaced by digital alternatives: online education and digital courses. The last person you want to learn from is a professor.
Banks
Banks have also seen a decline and loss in trust. According to The Financial Brand, “half of US adults say their trust in banks has declined over the past few years, although only 18% of Americans say the same about credit unions.” Reasons for loss of trust range from poor customer service to offering a low-interest rate for savings accounts. The Federal Reserve, and central banks, are cartels that do not serve the interests of the people but their self-interest. The centralized banking system is dated in the technology age.
There are now decentralized options to the centralized banking system with cryptocurrencies. More people are learning how the financial system, specifically the banking system, works through YouTube Channels such as George Gammon. The more people know about how the modern monetary system functions. If you can, consider keeping as little of your money in the banks as possible.
Government
According to Pew Research, the public trust in government is near historic lows, with only 20% “who say they trust the government to do what is right just about always/most of the time.” Pew Research has also found that 65% of people polled say “most political candidates run for office to ‘serve their own personal interests.’” Investment Watch proves that 65% of people surveyed made correct observations, with Republicans and Democrats beating the S & P 500. According to a report by Unusual Whales in 2021, “Congress bought and sold nearly $290 million in stocks (corresponding to 3,500+ transactions by 105 members of Congress).” If you or I did that, it would be considered insider trading.
Medical System
There has been a loss of trust in the medical system. According to Deloitte Insights, “After an experience where they lost trust [with a healthcare provider], four out of five participants say there was nothing the provider/health system could do to make them return to the same provider or health system.” A Gallup Poll found that Americans’ trust in the medical system declined from 44% in 2020 to 38% in 2022. The pandemic exposed the healthcare industrial complex for what it was and how it operates. People rightly became cynical and lost trust in doctors, hospitals, vaccine manufacturers, and government agencies such as the CDC and FDA. To make matters worse, Millennials experienced a ‘Vietnam War event’ in 2021 that went unnoticed by the medical system.
Give Up Or Focus On Yourself
Now that you know the bread, circuses, and debt traps, you have two options. Your first option is to give up and accept society’s dismal fate for you never being able to afford anything or build wealth. Your second option is to work to better yourself by investing in yourself. It is up to you. Will you give up? Or will you focus on yourself? I hope you choose the second option even though it is the more difficult choice.
Stop Focusing On The Circus
The best way to not join the circus is never to join the circus. That may sound simple, but society wants you to waste time on meaningless things and go into debt.
10 Strategies To Focus On Yourself
Now that you are aware of bread, circuses, and debt traps that society has laid out to ensnare you, here are ten strategies to focus on yourself.
Recommended Article – The Complete Guide For How To Focus On Yourself
Education
In most cases, higher education is a waste of time and money. Unless you want to be a lawyer, engineer, or scientist, you can learn the necessary skills without going to college. Even then, with everything being more available online or digital courses being more widely available, there may not even be a need for anyone to go to college eventually. College is not worth going to if you will be going into debt for an overpriced degree. In short, going to college is not worthwhile. It is not worth going into debt for.
Instead of going to college, you can go to trade school. You can also work part-time or full-time to build up your savings. You can then decide how you want to invest the money that you make from your job.
Self-Education
Self-education is more valuable than any overpriced piece of paper you will receive by going to college. You can educate yourself on a topic or skill until you master it. You can then apply it to your life since applied knowledge is the only way to use knowledge. Otherwise, knowledge is worthless. You can educate yourself today by reading articles online and watching YouTube videos from people who have mastered a skill or knowledge and are teaching people through their YouTube channels.
Money
Money Is a tool. It gives you freedom, flexibility, and access to opportunities. Here are five strategies to work to save and grow your money.
Savings
The first way is to have a savings account. You can save as much or as little as you want. The usual recommended amount to save is 20%. That is according to the 50/30/20 budgeting formula. Once you save up money in your primary savings account, you can put a small amount into a high-interest savings account. A higher interest savings account has a higher interest rate than regular savings accounts that banks offer.
Investing
Once you have built up your savings, you can start to invest a small portion of your money. You can invest in dividend-paying stocks if you want to build passive income. You can find undervalued stocks that may or may not pay a dividend. It could be worth considering if the company’s management team and finances look good. It will be up to you to calculate a P/E ratio to determine whether it is overpriced or on sale.
Precious Metals
As you learn about investing, you may want to consider saving a portion of your money in precious metals such as gold and silver. While precious physical metals are not investments, you likely won’t make money from them. You will be saving your devalued currency in a hard asset. You also physically hold. You do not need to rely on or trust the bank to access your money. In an SHTF scenario, you can also use physical silver to barter. If things get bad, you may even be able to buy a house with a few ounces of gold.
Cryptocurrency
Cryptocurrency is another way to escape the banking system. You will want to store any cryptocurrencies in a hardware wallet so they are in your possession and not on a cryptocurrency exchange. Bitcoin is the most well-known cryptocurrency. Monero is another cryptocurrency that is well-known that is a privacy coin. The advantage of cryptocurrency compared to precious metals is that they are easily transportable. You only need to have your hardware wallet and know your key phrases to access them. More places are beginning to accept the more well-known cryptocurrencies like Bitcoin and Ethereum for payment.
Online Business
The best way, though, is to start your own online business. The advantages of an online business are that they have a low startup cost today, and you don’t need full-time employees. You can start small by doing everything yourself. As it grows, you can then add contractors from sites like Fiverr and Upwork to free up your time and delegate specialized tasks that you need to get done to grow your business.
Another great advantage of an online business is that you can work from anywhere worldwide. This will allow you to travel the world. It will also give you the option to move to a less expensive country to save more money so that you will have more money to reinvest back into your business. It would also allow you to invest in a second business or venture.
Health
You can start taking control of your health rather than trusting the circus to provide proper care. Here are three basic ways how you can begin to leave the healthcare circus.
Healthcare
You don’t have to participate in the healthcare industrial complex. The best use of hospitals is only for emergencies to repair limbs, provide surgeries, and similar extreme circumstances. If you are healthy, you may want to consider if seeing the doctor once a year for a fifteen-minute check-up is worth it or if you are wasting money.
Insurance
Due to the Affordable Care Act, Americans are required to buy insurance which increased the cost of premiums, or they will face a tax penalty. You can decide what type of insurance plan you need depending on your healthcare needs. If you only see the doctor once a year or maybe go to a specialized doctor once or perhaps a couple of times a year, you can use less expensive health insurance to save money. If you are healthy, why do you need health insurance or constantly need to see a doctor? Health insurance is a scam.
Exercise
The best way to avoid the doctor and healthcare system and reduce your monthly insurance cost is to follow a healthy diet and exercise. There are many diets that you can choose from today. You can regularly exercise and go to the gym. You will feel physically and mentally better when you eat better and exercise.
Travel
If you can, you may want to consider moving abroad. There are many advantages to moving to another country which is explained below.
Move Abroad
The cost of living is insane in the United States. Instead, rather than moving to a somewhat less expensive state. But why not move to another less expensive country? If you are from the United States, as long as the dollar remains the world reserve currency, you will be able to triage the dollar. You will do this by living in a less expensive country, but your living costs will be reduced when you pay in dollars or transfer dollars to the currency used. You will get more for your money and a lower living cost.
Sovereign Man has a cost-of-living index that allows you to compare the cost of living of where you currently live to a city in a country you may be interested in moving to. There is nothing wrong with deciding to move to another country. It could save you money. It could give you a better standard of living than in your current country. You may find that you meet like-minded people in the ex-pat community. It will also allow you to learn about another culture as you adjust to it once you move.
Conclusion
The world has become a circus today. People have lost trust in institutions such as the government, medical system, banks, real estate, and the higher education system. You can start to focus on yourself to begin to escape the circus by focusing on self-education, money, health, and moving to a less expensive country.
Views expressed in this article are the author’s opinions and do not necessarily reflect the views of Secure Single. It is intended for informational and educational purposes only. It is not investment or financial advice. James Bollen is the author of Thriving Solo: How to Flourish and Live Your Perfect Life (Without A Soulmate). Now available in paperback and for the Kindle on Amazon. Subscribe to Secure Single’s Substack for free!
The dating industrial complex is a significant problem that singles encounter in their lives. Society encourages singles to date. Popular culture focuses on external validation through romantic relationships instead of internal validation. While the dating industrial complex is an issue, there are fifteen ways singles can escape its grasp.
What Is The Dating Industrial Complex?
Dating Definition
Dating is a way to meet someone you may be interested in romantically. Today, dating can range from short-term to long-term romantic relationships. It can even be used loosely to mean a one-night stand. Given that what is considered dating has become greyer, it allows the dating industrial complex to evade single people’s lives further. Singles may also feel pressure to date from their peers, family, and society.
Recommended Article – Anti-Dating: Dating Is Not The Answer For Singles
Dating Industrial Complex
The dating industrial complex feeds off the belief that singles must date. It includes a range of content, products, and services that target singles to get them to date. It includes magazines, dating websites, advertisements, matchmaking, dating apps, speed dating, dating coaches, dating books, couples-only events, dating advice, and influencers promoting romantic relationships.
Recommend Artice: 3 Ways Singles Can Survive The Dating Industrial Complex
How Much Is The Dating Industrial Complex Worth?
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The dating industrial complex is a billion-dollar industry. According to Market Research, the American dating market alone is worth $2.5 billion! Verified Market Research projects the global online dating market to be worth $10.87 billion by 2028. As you can see, there is lots of money to be made from romantic relationships. It does not matter what the medium is: in-person, website, app, or content.
Is The Dating Industrial Complex A Problem For Singles?
The dating industrial complex is a problem for singles because it only presents one way for singles to achieve happiness: by dating someone. The dating industrial complex is a problem for singles because dating is a form of external validation. You are receiving your validation by being in a romantic relationship. You can also receive external validation from your co-workers, friends, and family congratulating you on being in a romantic relationship. You can also receive external validation on social media when people like your relationship status update and when people comment on your pictures and videos of you with a significant other.
Recommended Article – The Loneliness Epidemic And Social Media Paradox
The Problem With External Validation
External validation is a problem because it is superficial. It is temporary. According to Psych Central, “many people learn that their fundamental sense of self-esteem and self-worth comes not from within but from others, and so they constantly seek other peoples approval or attention.” This is a problem because people change. Relationships, from friendships to romantic relationships, can end.
Internal Validation
In contrast to external validation is internal validation or self-validation. Internal validation is when you get your self-worth and self-esteem from yourself. You do this by working to achieve your goals. You set challenges for yourself. The best thing you can do to work on validating yourself is to focus on yourself. When you focus on internal validation, external validation, and by extension, the dating industrial complex will no longer be a problem in your life.
Focus On Yourself
Don’t focus on the dating industrial complex. Focus on yourself! There are a variety of ways that you can begin to focus on yourself. The three primary areas of your life that you can start to focus on yourself are health, money, and relationships. It is up to you to determine which area you must focus on most. Below are fifteen ways to focus on yourself while escaping from the dating industrial complex.
Recommended Article – What Your 20s Are For: 20 Most Important Things To Focus On In Your 20s
15 Ways How To Escape From The Dating Industrial Complex
Health
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When you start to take better care of your body by following a diet to exercise, you will feel better. You will also develop self-confidence because you look better and have more energy. Here are three ways you can improve your health.
Diet
A consistent diet will improve your health. Popular diets include the Mediterranean Diet, 5:2 Diet, Paleo Diet, Vegetarian Diet, Vegan Diet, and Carnivore Diet. Depending on your personal health goals, you can also do intermittent fasting and detoxes. A healthy, nutritious diet fuels your body. This is especially important when you exercise.
Exercise
Exercise plays a vital role in your health. According to the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention, “the US obesity prevalence was 41.9% in 2017-March 2020.” Since more people are overweight or obese, exercise is essential, along with eating a good diet. Regular exercise will help you to lose weight while also feeling better. Here are some common types of exercises.
According to Harvard Health, there are four main types of exercise: aerobic exercise, strength training, stretching, and balance exercises. You can focus on one or do a combination of exercises depending on your exercise goal.
An example of aerobic exercise would be running in place or jumping jacks. Strength training exercises include squats, lifting weights, and focusing on particular muscle groups (arms, core, back, and legs). Stretching exercises include yoga, dynamic stretches, and static stretches. Balance exercises include standing on one foot on the ground or standing on a balance ball.
Gym
The gym also plays a vital role in your health. Besides getting fit, losing weight, and gaining strength, there are other reasons to go to the gym. When you consistently work out, you will have better quality sleep. The gym can also help to boost your self-confidence. Your confidence will increase as you reach your goals. You can promote your quality of life and reduce chronic disease by going to the gym. According to the Center for Disease Control and Prevention, “Regular physical activity helps improve your overall health, fitness, and quality of life. It also helps to reduce your risk of chronic conditions like type 2 diabetes, heart disease, many types of cancer, depression, and anxiety, and dementia.”
Money
Instead of getting distracted by dating, you can learn about money. There are different classes of assets. Here are ten ways to become better at managing and growing your money.
Paper Assets
When it comes to investing, most people think of paper assets. According to the Herold Financial Dictionary, paper assets “refer to assets that are a representation of something. Paper assets in investments literally are pieces of paper that define ownership. Classic examples of paper assets prove to be stocks, currencies, bonds, money market accounts, and similar types of investments.” Paper assets are different from real assets, which will be explained later in this article.
Budget
You can start to keep a budget. This will help you to manage your money. There are a few popular budgeting apps that you can use to keep track of your expenses and savings. You can start by following the 50/30/20 budget. Budgeting apps that you can use to track your expenses and savings are You Need A Budget (YNAB), Mint, Monarch Money, EveryDollar, and PocketGuard. When you get control over your budget, you will have more money that you can save!
Savings
When you start to make a consistent income and know how much you spend a month on necessities, you can begin to save money. You can start to put money into a basic savings account. As you build up your regular savings account, you can expand to high-interest savings accounts, money market accounts, and certificates of deposit (CD). Once you have built up a little nest egg, you can consider investing.
Investing
Investing is another way that you can grow your money. According to Investopedia, “Investing, broadly, is putting money to work for you for a period of time in some sort of project or undertaking in order to generate positive returns (i.e., profits that exceed the amount of the initial investment).” You have many different options when it comes to investing. It will depend on your risk tolerance and your investment strategy.
Stock Market
According to Investopedia, “the term stock market refers to several exchanges in which shares are bought and sold.” The stock market is one way that people use to invest. They invest by buying shares in companies listed on the stock market. There are two main types of stocks available in the stock market: common stock and preferred stock. Common stocks may pay dividends, but they have the potential for a higher return if you hold on to them long-term. Preferred stocks pay a premium but have lower long-term growth potential than common stocks.
Bonds
Bonds are another investment option. Bonds are typically less risky compared to investing in the stock market. According to Forbes, “Bonds are investment securities where an investor lends money to a company or government for a set period of time, in exchange for regular interest payments.” There are four main types of bonds: corporate bonds, government bonds, agency bonds, and municipal bonds. You can invest in bonds through an exchange-traded fund (ETFs), online brokerage accounts, or directly buying treasury securities from Treasury Direct.
Real Assets
Investopedia says, “Real assets are physical assets that have an intrinsic worth due to their substance and properties. Real assets include precious metals, commodities, real estate, land, equipment, and natural resources.” Real assets are attractive to investors because “they provide good returns, hedge against inflation, lower covariance with equity investments, and tax benefits as they can claim depreciation on assets.” Real assets are physical assets you own. Real assets have no counterparty risk.
Physical Metals
The first type of real asset that you can own is physical metals. These are one type of commodity, but you want to physically own them rather than own them as a paper asset on the stock market. The main types of physical metals you can buy are gold, silver, platinum, and copper. According to International Man, gold is the most inflation-resistant commodity, but Bitcoin will eventually catch up and surpass gold by halving. Doug Casey refers to halving as “quantitative hardening.” Physical precious metals are a way to get out of the fiat currency system.
Cryptocurrency
There is debate about cryptocurrency, specifically Bitcoin, about whether it’s a hard asset. Others argue that Bitcoin is maturing into a real asset. Similar to precious metals, it is best to hold Bitcoin and other cryptocurrencies in a hardware wallet. If you don’t hold it, then you don’t own it. This will prevent counterparty risks such as keeping your cryptocurrencies on exchanges like Coinbase. Like precious metals, cryptocurrencies are another option to escape the fiat currency system.
Real Estate
Another real asset is real estate. Real estate is a real asset because it is a physical asset. You can make passive income by becoming a landlord. According to Connect Invest, there are six real estate types: multifamily, retail, office, self-storage, hotels, and mobile homes. These can then be broken down into real estate property classes. Today, you can even start small by renting out a room through Airbnb to make extra income if you can’t afford to get into real estate.
Recommended Article – Buy Herself: Single Women Can Have Real Estate Too
Business
You could also decide to start your own business. Today, a business no longer needs to be physical. You can start an online business. You will need a website, email list, YouTube Channel, and products and services you sell to your customers to create an online business. You can later add social media to expand your reach to reach more customers.
The most common ways how online businesses make money today are through advertising on websites and YouTube, affiliate marketing, and selling products and services. The type of products that your business will sell will depend on the needs of your target audience and customers. Many products today are printed on demand, meaning you will only pay the company that makes a product you sell each time it is bought. You can then get more control of your online business by creating a website into an e-commerce website.
International Diversification
If you are able, you may want to consider international diversification. You can invest in a second passport, residency, or citizenship. The advantages of international diversification are decreasing your political risk, decreasing your cost of living, and increasing your investment opportunities outside your home country. If you are interested in a Plan B or C, you will first need to visit a country to see if it is a good fit for you and your lifestyle. You can then look into the requirements for living in that country.
Relationships
Instead of focusing on dating, you can spend more time with your friends and your community. Besides simply enjoying spending time with your friends and community, many benefits come with friendship. Here are two ways you can improve your relationships.
Friendship
Hare three ways friendship can help you. First, it has been found that social connections help to lower blood pressure, lower B.M.I., reduce diabetes, and decrease inflammation. Second, friends can also make you happier as you age. Third, since people are naturally social creatures, friendships will help you to live longer. One hundred forty-eight studies found that people with stronger social ties had a “50% increased likelihood of survival.” In short, friendship plays a vital role in people’s lives.
Community
There are many benefits to spending time in your community. You can build community connections that can help your personal and professional life. Community also gives you a sense of belonging when finding people with similar beliefs and values. While you won’t agree or get along with everyone in your community, it is vital to develop self-acceptance. You can also find places in your community to learn from people with more experience than you. Meetup is a great website to use to meet people who have similar interests or for networking.
Conclusion
The dating industrial complex is a problem for singles. But you don’t have to let its presence in society consume you. Instead of participating in the dating industrial complex, you can focus on yourself. You can focus on yourself in three key ways: health, money, and relationships. A significant other does not complete you. You are responsible for doing that yourself by working to achieve your goals.
Views expressed in this article are the author’s opinions and do not necessarily reflect the views of Secure Single. It is intended for informational and educational purposes only. It is not investment or financial advice. James Bollen is the author of Thriving Solo: How to Flourish and Live Your Perfect Life (Without A Soulmate). Now available in paperback and for the Kindle on Amazon. Subscribe to Secure Single’s Substack for free!
Introduction
Depression and loneliness are a deadly combination. Loneliness is a growing issue as more people live alone. According to health insurance companies, there has also been a rise in major depression for Americans. The overlap between depression and loneliness contributes to social isolation. Loneliness and depression are growing problems that people deal with in their lives. Here are twenty ways how you can practically deal with depression and loneliness.
Depression and Loneliness
What Is Depression?
According to the Mayo Clinic, depression is a “mood disorder that causes a persistent feeling of sadness or loss of interest. Also called a major depressive disorder or clinical depression, it affects how you feel, think and behave and can lead to various emotional and physical problems.” Depression can make it difficult for you to function and do day-to-day activities and tasks. At its worst, depression can make you feel that life is not worth living.
There are different types of depression. One is short-term depression which will last only for a brief period. You may then never experience it again. The second is situational depression. You may share this when you move and don’t know anyone or are afraid of your big move. The final type of depression is long-term depression. Long-term depression is when you will have to deal with depression throughout your life.
As some people may call it, a person cannot just get out of depression or snap out of it. Depression is more than being sad or having the blues. If you experience depression, you may want to consider seeking out long-term treatment. People with depression will often discover that they will feel better with therapy, medication, or doing both to deal with their depression. Another way is to find ways to stay busy to take your mind off your depression by finding things you enjoy doing with your time.
Related Article: Know Your Enemy: Depression
6 Different Types of Common Depression
From my own experience, depression can also come from people not thinking they have a purpose for their life, so they go into cycles of depression. These cycles of depression could come from not meeting the goals you set for yourself, having trouble finding a job, and being unemployed. Or even being underemployed. Depression can make you feel and think that you don’t matter or that you are unable to contribute to society, which makes you think, “what is the point?” Or, “why am I here?” These thoughts then lead to a cycle of depression.
According to Harvard Health Publishing, there are six common depression types. Four types of depression affect both men and women, while two kinds of depression are specific to women. Major depression is when you lose interest in activities you once enjoyed and become consumed by a malignant dark mood. Persistent depressive disorder is a low mood depression that lasts for at least two years without reaching the intensity of major depression. Bipolar disorder is when someone experiences episodes of depression. Seasonal affective disorder (SAD) is a seasonal depression that starts as the days get shorter in the fall and winter months.
Two types of depression are unique to women. Women are at risk of experiencing perinatal depression and premenstrual dysphoric disorder (PMDD) because women’s reproductive hormones influence these two types of depression. Perinatal depression, or postpartum depression, is a depression that has minor and major depressive episodes during pregnancy or the first twelve months of delivery for women. Premenstrual dysphoric disorder (PMDD) is a severe form of premenstrual syndrome (PMS), which symptoms start after ovulation and at the start of menstruation.
Depression Symptoms
Since there are various types of depression, people could experience it once or throughout their lives. During the depression, there are symptoms of depression that will occur for most of the day. According to the Mayo Clinic, the symptoms of depression that you may experience during the day with depression include:
- Feelings of sadness, tearfulness, emptiness, or hopelessness
- Angry outbursts, irritability or frustration, even over small matters
- Loss of interest or pleasure in most or all normal activities, such as sex, hobbies, or sports
- Sleep disturbances, including insomnia or sleeping too much
- Tiredness and lack of energy, so even small tasks take extra effort
- Reduced appetite and weight loss or increased cravings for food and weight gain
- Anxiety, agitation, or restlessness
- Slowed thinking, speaking, or body movements
- Feelings of worthlessness or guilt, fixating on past failures or self-blame
- Trouble thinking, concentrating, making decisions, and remembering things
- Frequent or recurrent thoughts of death, suicidal thoughts, suicide attempts, or suicide
- Unexplained physical problems, such as back pain or headaches
For some people who deal with depression, the symptoms of depression can affect their daily lives. The symptoms covered below can make someone have problems performing day-to-day activities and tasks, such as studying for school, attending social events, and their relationships with friends and family. Depression can also make someone not want to
Along with these symptoms, depression can also cause other mental disorders. According to the Mayo Clinic, these are other disorders that depression can cause:
- Bipolar I and II disorders: Bipolar disorders are mood swings that range from highs (mania) mood swings that range from highs (mania) to lows (depression). It’s sometimes difficult to distinguish between bipolar disorder and depression.
- Cyclothymic disorder: The cyclothymic disorder involves highs and lows that are milder than those of bipolar disorder.
- Disruptive mood dysregulation disorder: This mood disorder includes chronic and severe irritability and anger with frequent extreme temper outbursts in children. This disorder typically develops into depressive disorder or anxiety disorder during the teen years or adulthood.
- Persistent depressive disorder: Sometimes called dysthymia (dis-THIE-me-uh), this is a less severe but more chronic form of depression. While it’s usually not disabling, the persistent depressive disorder can prevent you from functioning normally in your daily routine and living life to its fullest.
- Premenstrual dysphoric disorder: This involves depression symptoms associated with hormone changes that begin a week before and improve within a few days after the onset of your period and are minimal or gone after completion of your period.
- Other depression disorders: This includes depression that’s caused by the use of recreational drugs, some prescribed medications, or another medical condition.
Related Article: Depression in Ageing Singles: 5 Steps for Aging Singles to Apply in Their Daily Life to Thrive in Midlife as a Single Person
Drivers of Depression
There are a few main drivers of depression in people’s lives. For Millennials, depression has been blamed on social media, debt, and the economy. The Millennials came up age during a transition point in the economy. Yet, during this transition from the physical economy to the online digital economy resulting from the Dot Com Boom, they were encouraged to go to college. Career counselors and parents believed that to be the only way to succeed. By going to college, Millennials went into debt only to discover that after they graduated and could only get an entry-level job dead-end job where they could never work their way up in a company. While depression is a mental health problem, depression can also be caused by not having financial stability.
Many Millennials are depressed because they were sold a lie about college. They struggle to make ends meet due to college debt, working gig jobs, rising living costs in the United States, and now inflation with no financial stability. Being sold a lie about college and America’s poor economy forces Millennials to find new ways to make ends meet, which previous generations did not understand. This has led Millennials to take part in The Great Resignation. Since Millennials are not economically and financially secure, which are significant factors contributing to self-confidence and well-being, many have become depressed.
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What Is Loneliness?
Loneliness is the distressing feeling of being alone or separated. Loneliness is the state of distress or discomfort that results from a gap between one’s desires for social connection and actual experiences. Loneliness is isolation when you have no friends or a community in your life, creating a feeling of sadness. However, it is vital to point out that you can live by yourself without feeling lonely. More people are experiencing the emotions associated with loneliness and experiencing a gap between what they currently have and what they want to have in their social life. Loneliness is also a state of mind.
Related article: What Is The Difference? Solitude Versus Tyranny
The Loneliness Epidemic
Key Point: [bctt tweet=”The Loneliness Epidemic is a growing problem in the United States and worldwide.” via=”no”]
Loneliness is the cause of the loneliness epidemic. There is a difference between solitude and loneliness. More people experiencing loneliness create the loneliness epidemic.
There are two critical reasons for the rise in loneliness today. The atomization of people has led to increased social isolation and loneliness. Social media is also a problem. Those are two recent components of a society that have made people more isolated and less involved in their communities. People rarely know their neighbors today compared to previous generations. Social media has helped drive the loneliness epidemic as people spend more time on their screens rather than interacting with people in real life. There are also health consequences that come from loneliness. The other reason is the atomization of people, which results from people becoming more divided today.
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Health Effects Of Loneliness
Key Point: [bctt tweet=”Loneliness can be as dangerous to your health as obesity and smoking.” via=”no”]
Loneliness can negatively affect your health. Loneliness can result in depression or early death. It can be as harmful to your health as smoking or being obese. Depression and anxiety are two common mental health issues resulting from loneliness.
According to the CDC and studies done by the National Academy of Sciences, risks from loneliness and social isolation include the following:
• Social isolation significantly increases a person’s risk of premature death from all causes. This risk may rival those of smoking, obesity, and physical inactivity.
• Social isolation was associated with about a 50% percent increased risk of dementia.
• Poor social relationships (characterized by social isolation or loneliness) were associated with a 29% increased risk of heart disease and a 32% increased risk of stroke.
• Loneliness was associated with higher depression, anxiety, and suicide rates.
• Loneliness among heart failure patients was associated with a nearly four times increased risk of death, 68% increased risk of hospitalization, and 57% increased risk of emergency department visits.
Overlap Between Depression And Loneliness
There are overlaps in the negative health consequences resulting from depression and loneliness. Here is a shortlist of the similarities between depression and loneliness. Loneliness can lead to depression. Loneliness and depression both contribute to anxiety. Depression and loneliness both can lead to suicide. Loneliness and depression can both affect your social life. Depression and loneliness can also affect your ability to be active and exercise.
Related Article: The Loneliness Epidemic and the Social Media Paradox
How Can You Deal With Depression And Loneliness?
Key Point: [bctt tweet=”There are strategies that you can implement in your life to deal with depression and loneliness.” via=”no”]
There are many ways how you can deal with depression and loneliness. It will require you to work on your mental health and become social with people. This can be difficult to do depending on the type of depression you may have. Being social is also a vital solution to solving depression and loneliness. Below are twenty ways how you can deal with depression and loneliness.
20 Ways How To Deal With Depression and Loneliness
Make A Plan
Make a plan for how you will deal with your depression and loneliness. There are many different ways how you can deal with depression and loneliness. The main methods are to focus on your health and relationships and work on yourself. When you have a strategy for dealing with your depression or loneliness, you will have set a standard for yourself that you want to meet in your life.
Take Action
After you plan, you can start to do something about it by acting on your strategy. Action is better than inaction. It may be as simple as saying that you will get out of your bed and open up all the blinds in your house or apartment for depression. For loneliness, an example could be that I will talk to one person for a couple of minutes when I go to a social event.
Exercise
Another way is to exercise. Plan how many times you want to go to the gym a week. This will help you get more fit while regularly seeing people going to the gym. You can plan how often you want to go to the gym to work towards your fitness goals—the combination of exercise and seeing people will help with depression.
Diet
Along with exercise, diet is also essential to improve your mental health. A diet helps you to eat healthier food. When you practice a diet, it will help you to develop self-discipline. This is because you are setting a goal for yourself of what you want to accomplish. You can choose from many diets, with popular diets like the Mediterranean, Keto, Carnivore, French, and Vegan diets.
Go Outside
Instead of staying inside all the time, go outside. You can take a walk around your neighborhood. You could also go on a hike. It is healthy to get out of your house. This will help you get vitamin d from the sun while also seeing and interacting with people.
Mental Health
Depression is a mental health issue. Loneliness can lead to depression and unhealthy habits. For this reason, focus on your mental health. This will better help you to find ways to deal with depression. When you start to focus more on your mental health, you can improve your well-being and productivity.
Meditation
Meditation is a way that you can work to improve your mental health. Meditation helps with stress relief. It also will help to improve your attention and train your thoughts. Meditation can help to develop self-discipline because you are making time in your day to sit down and focus on your ideas for some time. Meditation can also help you to improve your emotional regulation. Meditation can also help you to improve your sleep.
Rest And Sleep
It is also essential to get enough rest and sleep. According to the Sleep Foundation, “growing evidence now suggests that poor sleep may induce or exacerbate depression” You can work to improve your sleep by having a bedtime to set yourself a sleep cycle. Another way is not to have caffeine, alcohol, or tobacco in the evening since they can affect your ability to get a good night’s rest. Another way to improve the quality of your sleep is to take melatonin before bed. You can find melatonin in liquid and capsule form, and you take melatonin about thirty minutes before bed.
Develop Coping Skills
You can also work to develop coping skills. There are unhealthy coping skills such as blaming other people, self-harm, comfort eating and using alcohol and drugs as a way for you to not deal with your emotions or problems. Healthy coping mechanisms distract yourself with healthy activities like exercise or getting outside, journaling, talking to a friend, venting your feelings, changing your mindset, and switching from negative to positive thinking. When you transition from negative to positive coping skills, you will become more productive in your life and feel better overall.
Positive Outlook On Life
Change from a negative outlook on life to a positive outlook on life. Your mindset and how you think about life directly affect your outlook on life. Negative thinking patterns will keep you trapped in negative thinking. You will continue to blame others for where you are in life instead of learning to take responsibility by working to overcome negative thinking and a fixed mindset. The alternative to negative thinking is positive thinking. Another option for a fixed mindset is a growth mindset. When you acquire positive thinking and a growth mindset in your life, you will discover that you will be better able to achieve your goals and be happier.
Time Management
Time management is another skill to learn. As you start to manage your time better, you will keep yourself busy throughout your day. If you are looking to work your time during your day better, there are productivity tools that you can use on your computer or near you to help you manage your time.
There are two productivity tools that I recommend that I ordered from Etsy. APKhome makes a dry-erase acrylic to-do list with a matching daily planner. UsefulPlanner makes a variety of time management pdf documents that you can use on your computer or print out. I recommend UsefulPlanner’s ADHD planner bundle for adults. If you are a small business owner, UsefulPlanner also makes a small business planner binder.
Church
You can go to church or whatever religious organization or beliefs you may have. This will help you to get out of your house and meet like-minded people in your community who share similar values as you. You will also find groups where you can be a part of your church. It could be a young adult group to a book club. A church, or what religious organization you may be a part of, is another way for you to meet like-minded people in your community.
Pets
Another good way to not be depressed or lonely is to have a pet. A dog, cat, or another type of animal gives you something you are responsible for in your life. Pets are beneficial to mental health. Pets can improve your mental health by making your feel less lonely, increase your sense of self-esteem and well-being, decrease stress, and give you unconditional love.
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Stay In Touch With People
You can stay in touch with people in your life. It could be as simple as sending a text message to a friend or family member, asking how they are doing, and letting them know that you are doing all right. Some basic ways to stay in touch with people in your life are to send a text message, social media message, or email friends or family. You can also meet a friend for coffee or invite friends to your apartment or house.
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Friends
While pets are good, friends are even better! Friends can help you deal with depression and loneliness. Unlike pets, people can talk to you. People also understand emotions. You can also meet with a friend to get coffee or your favorite place to talk about what is on your mind. Social connection is a critical part of human nature. If you have a best friend or a couple of friends you can talk to, consider yourself lucky.
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Family
Along with friends, spending time with your family can be a way to deal with depression and loneliness. You grew up with your family, familiar with your siblings and parents. No family is perfect, but they are related to you. You can get together with your family or spend more time socializing with them. If you live near your family, you could get together with them weekly or once a month to socialize with your parents or siblings.
Community
Humans are social creatures. As social creatures, being social is essential for your mental health. There are many different ways how you can find a community. You can go to a Meetup group in your area. You could go to a coffee shop. You could go to a bar or restaurant you want to visit. You could find local events in your area around your interests. You can also volunteer. These are just a few ways to get involved with your community.
Set Realistic Standards For Yourself
When it comes to depression and loneliness, it is critical to set realistic standards for yourself. These practical standards will challenge you to find ways to work on dealing with depression or loneliness. It could be something as simple as getting sunshine so that you don’t stay inside your house. As you begin to feel better, you can raise your standards to meet the goals you want to complete. But as with anything, start small as getting a little sunshine or smiling more often during your day.
Goals
Another way is to work to make goals for yourself. When you set goals for yourself, you have things you are working towards in life. Goals will give reasons to get up in the morning when you may be depressed or feel lonely. A simple goal could be getting up in the morning and leaving your house. You can also set goals for yourself that you want to work to achieve in your life.
Therapy
The final way is to consider seeing a therapist. A therapist is a professional who can help you deal with your depression. A therapist could also give you strategies to get out and meet people to deal with loneliness. There are various types of therapy to help you deal with depression, including Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT), Dialectical Behavioral Therapy (DBT), Light Therapy, Interpersonal Therapy, and Acceptance and Commitment Therapy (ACT). You can also learn to practice self-care strategies like leaving your house, talking to friends or family, exercising, or seeing a therapist.
Related Article: 5 Reasons Why Singles Need Therapy In Today’s Modern World
Conclusion
There are similarities and overlaps between depression and loneliness. Both can contribute to mental health problems and prevent you from wanting to interact with people. You have many ways to deal with depression and loneliness, from getting a pet, spending time with friends and family, or seeing a therapist.